For two broken hearts to try and mend

Don't beat yourself up 😊   I know easier said than done. I do it all the time. 😒

I have but not over "C", even though I've been keeping my distance today, I've have noticed her walking around.
Lately for me, it's the thought of early retirement and the "What ifs"  that come after. My wife thinks I am retiring to be home and spend time with her. When in reality, I really want to get the *** out of here because of "C". I it sounds crazy but I think you would understand, that I can't be in the same office with someone I have feelings for and can't be with. 🥹 

I worry, lose hair 😳, and my anxiety up, That in a couple of years we will have to sell our home and move further away from the city, where housing prices are cheaper and that will give us some funds.

I totally understand why that would cause you anxiety. It is hard seeing someone you have feelings for knowing you can't do anything about it.

Retirement, whoaaaaaa!!!!

Sounds like a fairytale in some ways for my generation lol 🤣

You seem like you'd enjoy the quiet of the countryside. I hope you're able to attain it ☺️

I was able to get outside for a bit. Really just went to the grocery store. Listened to an audiobook. It was peaceful for me. Even if just for a moment. Just feeling the sun today was nice 🙂

Yea Retirement (said with hesitation). There have been maybe 3 or 4 people I have mentioned that I am retiring and when they ask me if I have a date. I just say sometime in 2026 😬  My last day will be the 2nd of January, so I'm lying when they ask 😁, it will just shock the heck out of everyone.

 It's been wet here, real good thunderstorm this morning and just plain old damp out there now.

Good that you at least got out and got to enjoy some sun.

I walked the warehouse at lunchtime to try and clear my head. Then after was going to go into the break room and sure enough "C" was in there and I had to make a hastily turn and walk away.

Not the mad dash outta the break room

🏃‍♂️💨

🤣

Wow January 2nd that's less than 4 months from now. It's coming up quickly. I understand your reasoning for keeping it hush 🤫

Smart move. I wish u well in your retirement. Any plans for a party or a dinner?

HaHa  more like the quick turn around and scadoodle

No big plans aside from my wife already bugging me, That I will be the one to think of dinners. She hates to cook but can't wait to have me home. She always said that I have earned it for all those years I worked.

As for work, I hope to slide out the door as quietly as I started 25 years ago. LOL
Bad enough next Wednesday, my boss, she is a director, her boss a VP and his boss SR. VP are taking me and another employee out for lunch for our 25 years service. Little do they know about my plans.

Ooo wow you're really doing a quiet exit. Honestly, that is a wise plan. I gotta admit.

Be sure to order the most expensive thing on the the menu 😄

Some fancy Italian Restaurant That is literally just blocks away from home. Maybe I can eat and instead of heading back to the office. Finish the day at home 😀

A month and half ago, they gave me this pamphlet to choose a 25 yr service gift, I've yet to see my gift and wonder if they will present it to me at the luncheon?

I chose a decent looking Garmin Sports Watch, that is also a health tracker. 

Aww they probably will present your gift there.

25 years is a great achievement. Very proud of you

Thank you 😊

You are probably only the 5th or 6th person to recognize my service.

Not looking forward to the lunch, as I'm not a talker and I'm sure they will be asking me stuff. 🙁

I hope they do, if not then it's trying to track it down.

Ik the feeling. Not much of a talker either. I can talk just not the conversationalist so to speak lol.

And ik what you mean. Not everyone appreciates hard work although I do believe accomplishments should be recognized.

More often than not I usually end up celebrating alone when it comes to big achievements. Every so often it may include others but usually people don't root for people outside of themselves. So I try to root for everyone because ik how it feels.

I feel like every other minute I'm breaking down. I'm currently in the car. Trying to gather my emotions before I'm in a large crowd of people. Don't wanna break down crying in there.

😩