Let’s Taco ‘Bout It!
If your name isn’t listed below, please don’t read/comment/like/subscribe. Thank you! <3
@Tinywhisper11
@Torean
@PineTreeTree
@easyScarf7950
@azurePond
@cyanessence
@Wazowski91
@jesusredeemedme2425
Hey what does it mean when a guy asks you if you're dating anyone?
That one's pretty obvious, you have a 99.99% chance that he's interested. Is it a guy you could see yourself liking?
Nope, and I asked him and he said he was just making conversation.
That's .. interesting... Maybe he's just too scared. 😜 I guess it depends a little on context...
I’m not actually into him, I was just curious if he was asking out of interest or just conversation.
@jesusredeemedme2425 hellooooooooo! Merry Christmas 🎅 I love you all 💖
You’re a little early girl ;)
We love you too!!! <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 🎅 happy almost xmas 😁💖
Happy Xmas in training. 😁
@Torean
Halloween first.🎃 Or actually Leif Erickson day.
Hinga dinga durgen. 🧽🍀
Hinga what???
@jesusredeemedme2425
It's from SpongeBob. 😜
I'm all for Halloween first. I need a costume this year...
And then Thanksgiving, which is also Lewis' birthday! 🍂🍁
Lewis could be a rock star for Halloween lol
Or a birthday cake hehe! Happy birthday Lewis hehe
I don’t understand how I can go between “men are evil and disgusting” and “I really wanna date”. Like… none of this makes sense. I’ve been abused. Countless times. At the hands of many men. And I’ve sworn off men, multiple times, to build up the mile-high walls to protect myself from being lied to, and mistreated, and potentially injured by guys. And yet I want to be with one. How does this make sense?????
It makes sense... Its the abuse you don't want. The walls are only so helpful, because you can't really see what's on the other side. But it makes sense to sometimes want ti
I just wanna be held.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Just because negative people have held you. Don't deny yourself the opportunity to held lovingly one day. Someone will come along and help you understand what it's like to be loved. I know the feeling of wanting to be close to someone with love in their heart that's "yours" and meant for you. How you feel is natural don't drive yourself crazy thinking it's not.
I’m climbing the walls with my loneliness and desire to be with someone. I can’t take this feeling anymore
@jesusredeemedme2425
Well I'm going to say in my experience that you gotta be careful then. Please don't take someone just because you don't want to feel the loneliness anymore. Make sure they really care for you. I just know from experience that being that lonely can cloud my judgment but that's just me. I just worry for you and really want you to find someone that makes it so this feeling in your life is a thing is the past. You do definitely deserve it.
Love doesn’t exist.
@jesusredeemedme2425
It most certainly does. That I'm sure of Or I wouldn't be here right now with all you guys. Just because we don't have our "very own" right now doesn't mean love doesn't exist or we don't have a partner out there. Love is all around us. It may not be the true love we're looking for but it counts just the same. That's just how I think of it. It's my lantern in the darkness.
Everyone I’ve wanted to be with lately is either not interested, I didn’t realize they were taken, I can’t be with them, I’m too old for them, they lead me on and then basically go “JUST KIDDINGGGGG!!!!!!” It’s like no one cares anymore. I’m just a plaything, or a nothing, or invisible.
@jesusredeemedme2425
I'd say try dating sites or apps but those are terrible in my experience and that's what most people are on. The dating landscape is just different these days. You're not too old. I'm sorry you feel toyed with. I wish I could help by giving you the magical place you'll meet your someone but I'm also in the same predicament. I'm somewhat jaded about relationships too and I meet people that are amazing too that I can't share that love with. It's not fun. The ups and downs are insane but at least there's still ups. I wish everyone had someone to love. I really do. Just love the people around you and keep some positivity with you. Don't let people destroy you. 😓. It's all too easy to let happen.
I’ve found the worst people tend to be on dating sites.
Where are the ups??????
They already destroyed me. I have PTSD.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Yeah it's mostly not great people. You're not destroyed even if it feels that way. You just need to find the right person and I don't know where that person is. I wish I did.
You are loved.
@jesusredeemedme2425
So are you.
I don’t feel it.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Well you are. Just from afar. Which sucks I know. I guess it's not the same as feeling it. You just gotta know it and that's the best I can do which sucks but you're very very deeply cared about. I promise. I know it's not the same as what you're looking for but it's all I can give. You're really important to me. I want you to be happy and know I want everything for you. Always. You are awesome. *** the people that have hurt you and played with your heart. You got this. Okay?
I don’t got this.
I feel like every friendship is fake. Work. Friends. Even here. Nothing is real. Nothing.
@jesusredeemedme2425
Well try not to dissociate.
Hey. I'm real. You're real. Our friends here are real. Stay with us. Everything is okay and I told you I'm not going anywhere already. They really need a way to have member chat rooms. Wish we had a place to chat instead of just posting over and over. I don't want you dissociating because then everything gets real weird for an unknown amount of time.
Just be reassured I'm not a bot. Work is most likely real. I don't know enough to have an opinion but I assume it is. You are real and you're an amazing person with an awesome heart. Just stay with us. ☺️
I’m not dissociating. Just being a realist.
When I disappeared temporarily from my YA group recently… Everyone stopped responding to my texts.
I’m not going anywhere. I’m not in crisis. I’m just realizing how fake all my relationships are. No one truly cares. I once thought they did…
It’s better this way… A group chat. For now at least.
How do I know you’re not a bot?
I meant work friends. They just put up with me.
I’m trash.
It's a habit feedback loop. Something acts as a cue for you to crave attention or affection from men, then you act on that craving, and the anticipation of a reward is probably the reward you get before you get disappointed. You might be hooked on the dopamine you get from anticipating affection.
Your feeling of loneliness is probably the cue
New thread. It's like a single letter a line now.🤣
Mobile or website??? App doesn’t do that lol
@jesusredeemedme2425
Lol the website. I guess I should get the app again. I removed it and I'm not asleep by choice. I have to make sure you're not feeling entirely too badly and trust me it's good for too. ☺️. It's the weekend anyways. Also that kind of isolating I totally get. I hope it's helping. Sometimes I do that too. I'll isolate from even family and they hate it. We all need our time.
Why no app?
I’m always fine. I just sometimes vent my emotions instead of keeping them in. I’m in no danger.
Isolating isn’t really good for me tho. I go into a really dark pit and it’s hard to get out.
@jesusredeemedme2425
I got the app back and yeah...it's not as funky. Lol.
I know you're "fine" but I'm allowed to be worried about you having a sad night alone and want to stay and talk to you for a bit! I mean I'm your friend. It's not a chore. Ever.
Well isolating from EVERYONE could be bad and I mean you don't want to deflect your life but you got me and your buds here to talk to. ☺️. Can always vent your emotions to me. I never think you're in danger. You have the right to have your emotions. I just always see you in a better light than you see yourself and I hope one day you see what I see is all. But vent away!
Also I am mean to myself in joking way. Just a self deprecating sense of humor. Its something I get from my family and upbringing. I'm pretty happy with myself mostly.
***TW***
Told you. Lol
I have sad nights alone all the time. It’s normal for me.
I just feel like I whine too much. Especially in the group chat. Like… making it all about me. Diminishing others’ needs. That’s why most of my real pain and stuff gets told to Torean… I feel less like I’m dominating the conversation.
I feel like I have to hide my real self all the time. Especially at church. I know church is supposed to be for broken people… But you’re not allowed to be broken at church. It’s all masks and shiny plastic people with perfect lives and perfect skin and perfect families. Barf. I need… rawness. Vulnerability. Being able to be rough around the edges and broken and destroyed and completely messed up, without being judged. I don’t want to be surrounded by perfect plastic people. I want the broken. The outcasts. The judged. The ostracized. The ones who know what it is to be bullied and abused and hated. The ones who understand what it’s like to have PTSD so bad, that on your worst days, you inwardly flinch when a man walks near you, expecting to be beaten. Do you know what it’s like to be afraid of every man? Consciously or unconsciously? Flashbacks that drag you back to that night when he tried to break your finger? Waiting to be abused? Being ashamed of certain clothes because they show the TINIEST bit more while still being 100% modest, because men have cornered you and old men have leered at you? Younger men don’t ask me out. Old guys do. It makes me feel disgusting and scared and dirty. I’m not a toy for old men.
But apparently that’s all I’m worth. Trash. Thrown in the bottom of the trash can.
Because no one my age wants me.
I don’t want old guys looking at me anymore. I wear baggy clothes, partly because I’m autistic, but partly because of gross disgusting men who can’t keep their eyes or comments to themselves.
What’s it like to not have a mental illness?
I don’t even remember anymore.
What’s it like to be able to walk freely without fear or flashbacks?
Those days are long over for me.
I just pretend to be happy little Kiara to my perfect plastic friends.
And that makes me SICK.
Sigh… that’s my exhausted rant. Who knows if it makes sense or anything. Just sort the wheat from the chaff.
I really should sleep…
@jesusredeemedme2425
That was an awesome expression of emotion and no I don't know what it's like to be in your shoes. I do know that the person that people think you are and that you aren't your mental illnesses or PTSD. You really don't seem to be surrounded by people you can let your guard down with though. I don't want people to be fake either and I found your long post incredibly beautiful. Kiara you are enough and to me you aren't broken or any sort of damaged. What you've been through is what has made you who you are and having to hide any of that is an ugly feeling. To be ashamed of anything about you is a huge loss to how amazing you are. I've never liked church for that reason.
I'm going to think about everything youve just said for a long time. I feel very similarly to you and I think you need to find your people. You are perfectly yourself which is what makes you great.
Anyways. I don't want to keep you up. You don't have to be afraid to open up to me and you aren't being selfish. Don't worry about that. If you need someone to talk to then its a friend that should be there or... Maybe they aren't a friend. You're not whining. It's okay to talk about how you feel. I love it.
How bout I respond to you tomorrow to force us both to go to bed ;)
@jesusredeemedme2425
Okay. I'll prolly have more to say about what you said too. Goodnight. Get some good sleep! Might take me a little to get tired but rest well!☺️
Sorry for keeping you awake.
Night :)
@jesusredeemedme2425
You didn't keep me up. I enjoy talking to you and don't apologize to me when you did nothing wrong. ☺️. I'm glad we talked. Night!
Such an awful mood today :(
@jesusredeemedme2425
Why? What's going on? 🫤Wanna talk about it?
Other humans. Lol
@jesusredeemedme2425
Well how so? They hastling you? Are you still trying to take some time to yourself and they're just getting in the way? What's going on with these other humans?
Being uncooperative
@jesusredeemedme2425
Oh that's just people for you. Stuck in their ways. Won't work with anyone but themselves. I'm sorry they're attempting to ruin your day. 🫤
Sorry for taking over the convo, y’all. I don’t wanna be a downer. Or detract from you guys.
S'alright. 😅 I think you needed that.
@jesusredeemedme2425 this is your place just as much as anyone else 💖💖 hugs you tightly 💖everything is gonna be ok, I love you 💗
I love you more <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 bites torean and rolls away fast ♿♿ mwhahahaa
@Tinywhisper11 nibbles kiara, laurel and best too😋😋😋😋😋
@Tinywhisper11 nest*
@Tinywhisper11
🐢You're too fast.
What's up? How's your day going? Hope you're having a good Sunday!
🌝
@dapperNest2125 I am having a good Sunday😁💖 a big dip in the weather here lately and like normal I now now have a cold🙁 I'm just having coffee, and watching my pigs play😁💖 are you having a good weekend?? Do you work on weekends??
@Tinywhisper11
Same here! It's raining... Kind of. Gloomy. Nope I don't work weekends and have not much to do so I'm just hanging with my dog (he's also super bored and bummed cus we can't go outside). So he's napping.
What about you? You usually have the weekends to you and your piggies?
How are your piggies doing? That sounds fun. I used to have a roommate with 2 ferrets and they were a blast to watch play. They would steal everything. ❤️Animals.
Sorry you're sick. Hope it passes fast! Maybe once the weather normalizes!
@dapperNest2125 I don't work at all, I'm retired😁💖 so I get to spend a lot of time with my pigs, they are very funny😁 I love them so much😁😁 dogs are scary, but I'm sure you're is a sweet heart 💖💖
@Tinywhisper11
He's a big softie. Ooo retired. What do you do with your free time? Like hobbies and stuff. I think I'd have a hard time keeping myself busy but I do wish I didn't work.
Aw. I'm sure they have so much fun that you get a lot of time with them. ❤️ Piggies are SUPER cute.
@dapperNest2125 yeah they are awsome💖 I love to draw😁 sometimes write poems💖 my life is very slow and boring compared to most others, but it's just perfect for me😁💖
@Tinywhisper11
Poetry is awesome. I wish I was better with words sometimes for that reason. You and Kiara share the artistic touch too! That's awesome. What do you like to draw?
Also hey. My life is very laid back too. I don't like hectic. As long as it's right for you. That's all that matters. ☺️
@dapperNest2125 I mostly do pastel drawings of whatever I think of💖😁
Dappy!!!!! Is that Polar??? He’s adorable <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 is dappy nest's dogs name??
Yup! That's polar! He's a lazy boy today.
I think Dappy is short for Dapper. Thinking of changing my name. Haha
It is hehe. I like coming up with random cutesy names for people sometimes. I call Pond, Pondie-Pond. Hehe
@jesusredeemedme2425
Pondie is cute. Lol.
I mean add -y or -ie to the end of most things and bam. Cute name. People double up my name and call me Ty-Ty. Lol. Mostly my younger family.
How are you today Kiara? ☺️
I’m tired but good, bit of a headache.
Cy calls me Ki <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 so we have a Sy and a Ki and a .........
PrincessLolaUnicornTinySmurf the 3rd😁
@Tinywhisper11
I guess I'll be the court jester if we're starting a monarchy princess. Lol.
I just can't wait to be king!🎶 Now I have Lion King flooding back to me. Dang it...
@dapperNest2125 hakuna matata💃💃
@Tinywhisper11
It's the ciiiiiircle of life!🎶🎶🎶
@dapperNest2125
🎶🎶 dashing through the snow on a pair of broken skiis,
Over the hills we go crashing into trees💃💃
@dapperNest2125 ohhhhh! Your dog names polar 💖💖 and your dappy😂😂😂😂 yeah that's not a great nicknames😂😂 what would you like to be called??
@Tinywhisper11 ah ok ty💖 perfect💖💖💖
@Tinywhisper11
@jesusredeemedme2425
Yup. Ty works fine or whatever you want! As long as I know you're talking to me. 😜
Not great sleep last night? Glad you're in higher spirits though. Hope you took some headache stuff.
I'm just bored. Had too much caffeine and almost fell asleep.
@dapperNest2125 to much caffeine!?!?? That's not a real thing😂😂 now how to make you get un-bored🤔🤔🤔 oooo! I know we can guess what kiaras doing and torean😁😁
@Tinywhisper11
Yes. Too much makes me sleepy. I blame ADD. That doesn't mean I've stopped drinking it though. 🌝
@dapperNest2125 ohhh you have ADD🙁 bless you that must be difficult to learn to live alongside with🙁 hugs you tightly 💖
@Tinywhisper11
Aw. ❤️ Thank you but its not a struggle or anything.
Also, I read your post about what you've been through and I just gotta say I'm sorry for those times. I'm really glad you're here. Can't imagine how tough it is to open up about and I won't understand what you've been through but if you ever need anything we're here for you. ☺️. If you ever need to talk about anything.
Was waiting for the opportunity to make sure you know that. I talk... A lot and enjoy listening to other people's stories, especially my friends.
@dapperNest2125 awww your sweet 💖 thankyou💖
I wake up several times a night. Every night. For YEARS…
@jesusredeemedme2425
Trouble staying asleep sucks. Do you dream a lot? What typically wakes you up? Or is it just out of blue? I have the issue where if I wake up then I'm up. So some nights I'll only get an hour or two. I wake up with intense anxiety and there's no going to bed after that at least for a while. I know it's cortisol levels but there's not much to be done I don't think.
@jesusredeemedme2425 I bet kiara is eating a chocolate covered kitty🤔🤔
And torean is eating icecream without me😥
@Tinywhisper11
Hope it's white chocolate. That sounds good.
I don't know Torean enough but eating ice cream without a buddy is illegal. So please the fifth Torean. Don't admit anything. 😜
@dapperNest2125 😂😂😂😂😂
Eating icecream without Tiny is illegal😂😂😂
@Tinywhisper11
We need a lawyer that specializes in dessert law for you tiny. You can sue.
@dapperNest2125 yep😁 for you hear that Torean!?! I'm sueing you🤑
I would never! ❤️ Also, you bit me! 😮 And maybe made me a zombie!
@jesusredeemedme2425 do you know what else is illegal??
Handing salmon suspiciously in the UK is illegal 😂
Also on Scotland (part of UK) your not allowed to ride cows drunk😂😂
@Tinywhisper11 they are actual laws😂😂
@Tinywhisper11
Oh I just watched a video on this topic! US though so I didn't know those!
I remember that somewhere in the states donkeys can't sleep in bathtubs and you cant tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or chain your alligator to a fire hydrant.
I wish I had a giraffe, alligator and a donkey to go break all those.
@dapperNest2125 😂😂😂😂 yep and in one place you can't take your lion to the theatre😂😂😂
@Tinywhisper11
Aw poor Pumba. 😓
Pumbaa is a warthog XD
@jesusredeemedme2425 😂😂😂😂
@jesusredeemedme2425
... Right. Hakuna Matata then!
@Tinywhisper11
The not riding cows drunk in Scotland... of course that's a Scottish law. 🤣🤣🤣.
@dapperNest2125 😂😂😂😂😂😂 yeah I really wonder what happened to make people have to make theese laws😂😂😂
@Tinywhisper11
I imagine one night at the pub they had a little too much and walking home someone double dog dared someone else. Haha
@dapperNest2125 😂😂😂 they sound like fun people
@Tinywhisper11
Hahaha they do. I can only imagine cus it's something I would have done in my drunken days. Idk if I'd ride a cow but a bull. Now that sounds like a great way to get around town.
@dapperNest2125 ohhh! I've bet you've got some great stories to tell from those days😁
@Tinywhisper11
Well they're either dumb and dangerous or fun and an experience but yeah I've put myself in danger a lot. It was my 20s though! Now I'm almost 32 and they're just stories told between my friends. It's not healthy to regret things or take things you can't change too seriously. Especially if you made it out okay. You overcame and grew. That's always an awesome thing. That's just how I look at it though. Sorry you didn't ask for an essay.
I like the essay. :)
@jesusredeemedme2425
Thank you. I voluntarily over share sometimes. I'm glad you enjoy it. 😁. Thanks Kiara.
Starting to lose track of the number of conversations going on. I know I have to ask about what princess Lola draws with pastels. Also Kiara I'm here for you!
I don't want to accidentally miss anything or accidentally ignore anyone.
@dapperNest2125
@Tinywhisper11
❤️❤️❤️
I love the unicorn but I REALLY love the aliens. I can only assume there's a lot of symbolism there. Not trying to overanalyze but it would make sense.
One seems more hopeful than the other. I actually really like the choice of lower contrast colors. Plus drawing faces is notoriously hard.
Sorry to just analyze your personal work. Lol. I know that can be rude. It's really cool though. I have zero visual art background but I love the art museum near me so I consider myself an expert. Kidding.
Thank you so much for showing me. I really do appreciate it. 😁I love all types of art.
@dapperNest2125 you can analyse as much as you like💖 beauty about art is it means things to the artist and different things to others, so I won't get offended💖 thanks for liking them😁💖
@Tinywhisper11
I know right?! That's why it's so awesome and why I really like that you shared em with me. I just didn't want to offend.
I did ceramics in high school. I took art class like 5 times because I was ahead in credits but I was relatively bad at it but I enjoyed it so I did it anyways.
Anyways. Yeah I love when people share any art form with me.
I actually have a deviantart out there from YEARS ago. Lol Don't know if people use that anymore.
