Nadia and Ni ✨

@iloveyouxx 

hi nadsies. so… um… i’m back. :') i’m so sorry it took so long for me to reply :( i should have replied sooner - yesterday. tbh i should have replied ages ago. 💜 because the longer it took, the longer all… this… became, the more it probably hurt right…? :') 

if anything i wrote here made you uncomfortable or anything 💜 or i misunderstood you in some way… then me hopes nadia friend will let me know… (?) 💜 no pressure to even read any of this or respond. 💜 i know life is hard every day and lately it’s been getting a bit harder :( and you’ve been hurting. because you’re being hurt at school and at home, and i hurt you here. i know a lot is going on and it’s just overwhelming, so it’s okay if you don’t read this or you don’t reply. im okay with that. 💜 i just really think i needed to write this :( 

…i didn’t mean to hurt you. and i mean that. but im thinking about it now, and i think… saying that that doesn’t really make much of a difference. the same way just saying “i’m sorry” really doesn’t change anything. because even after we receive “sorry’s” or “apologies” from people it can still hurt so much. you felt hurt. and it’s real. :') 

now that i look back i do regret not saying anything. :/ i wish i said something, too. i wish i did. words can hurt… but silence hurts too. silence hurts, and being ignored hurts, and when friends just leave just like that just randomly it hurts. if i was you or if a friend did something like this to me i would hurt too. so it’s understandable and v valid you feel/felt hurt after what i did. :') 

…i know it hurt bad. i hear you. it did hurt :( ni friend hurt nadia friend. i made a mistake and i regret it. 💜 

it’s okay to cry 💜 *sends hugs if okay* :( i promise it’s not stupid or anything to cry. and your right about this place - cups - being like a whole other life. it really is like a life, it feels like one and tbh it is one in a way. and in the same way the friendships here are real, and the conflict that happens on cups is real, and when people hurt us here or we hurt them, it’s real. 💜 I know life is already too much in real life and it gets overwhelming :( And we come to Cups to find some kind of escape and to maybe find people who care but instead this place is like a whole other life that we have and sometimes, maybe even often, sadly :( that life here can hurt and it can feel like there is no one who cares, after a while. 

I wish you didn’t go through everything you went through in real life, or here :( And i feel so horrible that i’ve been one of the people who’s a reason you’ve had bad experiences here. 😔 Ni friend can see that now. 

I started this like an hour ago but i have to go now :( I’m so sorry it took so long to reply :( and that i haven’t even finished yet, but i promise i will get back to this soon, ik there’s a lot i didn’t reply to. 💜💜 Hugs for you if okay, i love you 

@iloveyouxx 

nadia friend <3 im so sorry i’m so slow with replies especially in your diary forum now :( i’m not allowed to use devices much on sundays but i was able to be a little sneaky and check cups today. i’m gonna reply to your posts tonight when i get on 💜 love you friend 💜 

- ni 

D: im sorry I haven’t been talking here at all. I’m in a free lesson cos I already finished all the work :P✨but then again I feel like there’s not much to reply to :P💜idk?🩷anywho please take yur time in replies💗btw lol :P🤍random thing to reply to🤍but when I said "I don’t want it" I meant I don’t want it to be- the way it is🤍? where I was so sure yu wouldn’t reply- I didn’t mean I didn’t want yu to reply😭💓yuhehiuyshyaoujajouiowjuuwojuu sitting on the floor is so uncomfortable- we have like 4 minutes until lunch suuuuu I’m gonna go :0💕and if yur online at any point we can talk :3 lunch is pretty long💖and I’m on cups the whole time becos i hide alone in breaks🐛🐛🐛🐛🐛🐛✨💜ttyyylllll💗💕

I love you🩷

we were taking about a story in english "lamb to the (tw) slaughter" 

brb-

back :D in lunch but the internet is sooo badddTvT why’re people clapping- anywho and yk the song tw "blood in the water" and I thought it had sumthing to do with that TvT💜but idk. Idk if what we read was the whole story but I liked it :3

erugh nvm the internet sucks rn- I won’t be able to talk until after school becos I have history then math after this >: tccccc💖💕

ni I finished my reply for the other forum but it wont let me post it😭I tried putting a dot between possible like censoring words and also I’ve been getting this same error so often now and I contacted an admin about it and we couldn’t find anything wrong >: even random things like "sorry I have to go tccc" would get that error TvT I’ll hold on lemme try cutting it up- lmao-💖

I was just. not okay a second ago TvT🤍and now it’s 10x worse TvT💜which dw I’m gonna rant about that at sum point😎✨🩷yu just luv it when I do that so :D💕/sar-;-;💜

we so happy ni is here💗

nu that’s true >:💜we get a lot of days off because of the teacher training especially in the beginning of the year. yu got me thinking about my teachers lol how off putting T^T🩷/lh 

_{eurgh 😭 it’s so much harder now but lemme try-}