Nadia and Ni ✨
@iloveyouxx
hi nadia beanie :o me knows we do talkie in the corner and here and there around forum-land 💜 and sometimes in rooms. but if you’re okie/comfy with it, would you like to be my pen pal? :P 💜 this is a little space where we can talkie if you’re comfy. 💜 it’s okay if you’re not ok/comfy with it too - i can get this forum space deleted in that case. 💜
for other hoomans coming across 💜 please don’t read posts here, or write anything here, this space is for nadia and me. thank you 💜
- ni friend.
*sits here if okie* nadia friend 💜 been thinking of you lovely and missing you 🥺 and been thinking of my other cups family members and missing them too. 💜 ni friend has been away because 1) that trip and 2) after i got back home on the… 21st i think? i don’t remember somehow it’s weird im so weird lol 😭 but yeah after i arrived… me started dealing with the different symptoms and *** that come with jet lag and other health related stuff. and i don’t wanna go into detail and stuff rn but i might later if you comfies 💜 it kinda about getting sickie and not feeling well and mmm :( so me don’t wanna make nadia friend uncomfies or anything. but yeah i’ve just not been ok physically. but it okie it’s nothing serious i think so im recovering.
schoolybobs is starting again for me on monday, i have tests and exams soon :/ and some standardised tests coming up in early june. i need to take those to get into another online academy for 9th grade (year 10) so… yeah. im gonna be a (v terrified) busy beaniee 😭 i might not be on cups much but ill try to be 💜 i didn’t see the entire post but i think nadia friend posted a… mmm, forum called last post and i didn’t see the entire thing yet but it look to me like you not been okie friend 😔 im so v sorry i wasn’t there. i wish i was :( me sending big warm hugs your way if okay 💜 i wuv you so much nadseybuddybeanie 💜
i think you probably saw my new plushie friend in my diary thread but if you didn’t then that’s okies. this is haru 💜
idk why this second picture showed up sideways 😭
i wish he was a real kitty tbh lol. 💜
haru and me sending you lots of love and comfy huggle wuggles 🐾
i realised i forgot to tag you so @iloveyouxx 🥺💜
just a reminder that im gonna keep you in my thoughts 💜 i love you so freaking much nadseyloaf 💜 sending massive hugs if okay 💜
ni🩷I’m so sorry- I’m replying to your post in my thread right now💜I just thought I should tell you since I saw you online :0💕in the meantime hehe :0🤍how’re you :0💗/nfta
@iloveyouxx
hi friend… im sorry i might be v slow to that reply and just to replies in general. if there’s one thing im horrible at it’s replying in a timely way… plot twist im horrible at everything lmao 😀
idk how i’m doing friend today i got a note in a forum space from a friend… they said they leaving cups and idk 😔 i been missing them so much, we haven’t talked in forever and now they left cups i just can’t accept it really… 🥺
i’m such a ***, forgot to ask how nadsies loaf is :( how’s you lovely? *no pressure*
random but idk it kinda brought some sunshine and made me a little happy that you showed up in my diary corner 🥺 i kinda knew you already knew about my space hehe and upvoted sometimes and lurked 💜 (which is okie dw) but i was wondering why nadseyloaf never popped in like actually posted there 😅 of course your not obligated to or anything 💜 but i was just wondering why 😅 so idk this is random but that just made me a bit happy 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
ouh I get notified there so that’s why I thought I already posted :0 but I always get notified there idk🩷
awwwwwe💗💕I think I never popped in just becos of the amount of people that were always there :p🤍? and it just also made me feel- extremely :D lonely :D✨
im happy I made you happy🩷I thought I ruined your mood or sumthing ;-; idk ;-; my brain was telling me like :D oh yeah :D she definitely hates you :D✨"…people come and go nadia. that’s kinda how it is." that’s when my brain started to assume stuffs :p💜idk hehe maybe our brains were just braining interestingly🧠🤝🧠🖤anywho I have to go- I’ll ttyl💖🦕
@iloveyouxx
awww 💜
yeah it feels like a lot of people pop into my thread :') there are just some people who are regular there lol - friends. and occasionally some people i don’t know yet :')
loneliness sucks 😞 it hurts. i’m sorry if i made you feel lonely nadia friend… if it okie to ask what is it specifically that made nadia friend feel lonely…? :( no pressure to share of course 💜 but im just being a little silly and got confused, im sorry friend. loneliness really hurts and it can be pretty complicated i think. a little different for different people but it still hurts 😔 *hugs if okay*
awww no i promise you didn’t ruin my mood. 💜 my mood was already a little - idk - then… because i got a note from a friend that they were leaving cups. (they didn’t actually leave, they’re still here… just not doing so okie… 😔) but i promise you didn’t ruin it or anything 💜 you did the opposite, you made me a little happier because you were just… there… in my diary thread. and your a warm person and have a warm presence nadseyloaf 💜 despite what brainie might tell you or what meanie mcbeanies might tell you. :(
i said “people come and go” in a weird way to try to comfort myself? or idk… it’s kind of a… reality i guess. because i used to be friends with some people on here, i knew them back when i was a newbie, and i don’t really see them around anymore. they either left cups or they’re not so active anymore or we just aren’t… as close. :') it was kind of just something i said from a bunch of thoughts in my head 💜 im not even completely sure of all that anymore, it’s kinda something to think about and reflect on some more. but right now i don’t have the energy to reflect lol
but i promise it wasn’t directed at you 💜 tbh i think it's definitely quite… my fault that your brainie makes you believe that. i don’t hate you… nadseyloaf. honestly. i don’t. 💜 but in the past, i made several mistakes. i was mean, and i hurt you - my friend. and i’m pretty sure that led your brainie to start convincing you that i hate you or something :( idk how i can help change that but if there’s anything i can do i hope you’ll let me know… 😔 i’m v sorry nadseyloaf… (im obsessed with calling you nadseyloaf it’s actually so cute lol /gen)
idk how this got so long 💜 i’m sorry 😅
your legit a gif master fr :o your selections are always so adorable 💜
nadseyloaf i kinda need your help with something… i don’t mean to bother you, im really so sorry if i am but um… basically yk how we talked about how sometimes we keep tags and we don’t check the notification because we want to store it in a way, to reply to it later? like you told me you do that sometimes - kinda storing the post so you can reply when you can - and i told you i did the same thing sometimes lol. basically i did that again with a tag from you but… my cups thing glitched on my browser and the tag poofed 😭 and i thought it was in your diary space so i checked and i searched several pages and i still couldn’t find it 😭 idk what you tagged me in but now i cant reply because idk where it is i feel so bad :(
it started with like “omg ni ☠️” or something 😅 idk 😭 im so stupid sometimes lol, no pressure to reply to this of course 💜 @iloveyouxx
@LoveMyMoonflowers
im not sure hehe :0 is it the one in page 62 :0🩷or another one :0💜I started that reply with "☠️☠️no idek what scale means :D☠️" maybe or sumthing else hehe💕I’ll try and remember🩷also I’ll reply to everything else in a minute🤍I have to leave for school soon :')🤍
@iloveyouxx
aww it’s okay friend it’s okie to take your time with replies 💜 me understand 💜 i hope schoolybobs was bearable :( *sending hugs your way if okie*
yes! it was that one i think. i think ill be able to find it since you said it’s on page 62 💜 thank you friend hehe 😅 im so silly sometimes 😭
i literally only talked to you a few hours ago but i’m having that i-miss-you kind of feeling :') i hope your okie friend… *sends hugs if okie* 💜 /gen
@LoveMyMoonflowers
ouh I was sleeping at that time ;-; I think🩷? 😭 or maybe that was when I was being a big ball of depression :p💜
why was I actually doing that on my spinney chair too- :0;-;💜
@iloveyouxx
(if okie) i hope it was sleeping 😔 but i know sleeping can be hard :( there’s so much that goes on at night that can prevent us from sleeping and sort of - idk - disturb our sleepy time make it… mmm not v nice :( depression is tough to deal with 😔
but tbh that gif is so relatable :') :')
(i’m sorry i feel like i made this awkward and depressing by saying that. i think im just really bad at… conversations and stuff 😭)
It’s 1 am :D💖but I’m gonna try and reply to anything I can because I just saw these💕give me a minute :0💗
@iloveyouxx
awww 1 am…? 💜 was something keeping you up nadseyloaf? :( *no pressure* 💜 and aww dw take your time with the replies, it’s okie friend. 💜 *hugs if okie*
@LoveMyMoonflowers
wgbtybwgvihgaiyuhuiygwnugya ni🩷I fell asleep :')💜I even dreamt that I replied to everything then closed my device and slid it under my bed and guess whattt :D🤍that never happenedddd :D🤍I fell asleep with my device clicking random things in the air :D😎✨
nuu it’s not okie :')💜smh me. do better.🤍hugs are okie💕I love you🩷
@iloveyouxx
omg 🥺😭 I’ve genuinely - honestly - had those kinds of dreams before too. idk why but i think that’s kinda cute somehow 🥺🩷 it’s okiieee lovely friend 💖 *huggies you* i wuv nadseyloaf too 🩷
thank you… :') i appreciate that note <3 and you 💜 thank you. 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
😭I swear tho it was so realistic😭🩷and I was just replying to everything from you(and only you-hehe✨)💜:0 I swear our brains are connected :0💕🧠⚡️🧠💕imagine being a 7cups addict :D✨niniloaf have you seen those videos peoples make of gen alpha(little kids💕:p) sleeping but- they’d be like scrolling and double tapping and clicking as if they were on a device infront of them- but on the air :D🤍and it’s basically meant to show how giangukxakuhgysc this latest generation and how bad it’s getting and it’s getting worse or whatever :p🩷but they keep changing the birth year to be gen alpha to make it seem worse but I do that too :p💜and honestly a lot of people I know :p my age and older🤍or maybe we just all have a mind blowing amount of screen time :D💖
awwwe🥺💕💜huggies ninibeanie tight💕
lmao did the first part of that note sound wrong ;-;💜? I don’t think niluv sounds all that convinced thu🩷btw I don’t remember to which reply but you said you were horrible at everything(or sumthing like that💕)and I made a really long list of things niloaf is vvv good at🩷and guessss whatttt :D🤍mhmhmmm :D it got deleteeeeddddd :DD✨✨
but either way- :p maybe I’m overlooking it.🩷but I love you and I think you’re amazing🩷
……………………. :’)?
🩷
@iloveyouxx
hi friend…
i’m sorry…
:')
@LoveMyMoonflowers
dont be sorry🩷I just worry but then you come back the next day and it kinda idk :’)💜I’m happy you’re back but I wish you just :’) didn’t🤍(I was reading over this part and realized it sounds like I meant I wished you didn’t come back😭if it sounded like that I meant I wished you didn’t do that :p where you’d leave and have us worry💜then come back🩷and idk. thought I should clarify that🐛idk what clarify means but it probably makes sense :3💕)but I know it’s not like you want to feel like this💕it’s okie🩷we’ll always wait for you either way💕
(my dad might come ;-; so sorry if I poof :P🤍hugs in the meantime💖)
my gifs don’t work nvm :’) agnaouinwngyiwoiygsingyyugs idk how much later this is but :p my dads back :p and I’m meant to be asleep- I’m not giving up on the gif tho give me a sec😭
@iloveyouxx
i’m sorry… and dw clarify is the right word 💜 clarify means to make something clear or to clear up something. so you did clarify it 💜 i’m sorry for leaving like that. i’m not sure why people would worry though lol i feel like people are just wasting their time worrying about me honestly 😅 i’m just a draining person to be around :')
idk what to say friend… i’m just sorry.. :') but ik the word sorry doesn’t mean anything after a while. i use that word too much to the point it probably feels meaningless.. 💜 anyways i’m being depressing lol so i’ll hush 💜
*hugs* idk why i thought that was sweet that you didn’t give up on the gifs lol 😭 *gives you a medal* 🥇
@iloveyouxx 💗💗💗 :')
@LoveMyMoonflowers
this gif is so cute omg😭🥺💓💓
@iloveyouxx
remember this one? the cat love <3
(replying to your other post here soon, after i read it real quick. <3)
@LoveMyMoonflowers
o m g t h e l a s t o n e
no I don’t remember it omg it’s so cute🩷🩷
chibird gifs are so cutu💕💕and ouh okie tyttyt <3
@iloveyouxx
nadia your gif selection deserves awards, no joke. /gen 💜 the last one you picked is so freaking cute 💕 actually no all of the ones you picked are adorable 💜💜 and i’m not sure - i have seen you use the cat love one in some places hehe. i remembered that one, i used it a looooong time ago when i was a newbie lol and i remember seeing you use that one too. 🥺💜 it’s so cute.
and yes chibird is the best 💕
*doesn't know what other gifs to pick so im just gonna give you a b i g h u g if okie* 🥺💗
@LoveMyMoonflowers
awwwe🩷the last one is so jiggly hehehe :3 they remind me of jelly :3💕💜🐾( D: I just realized there’s no jelly emoji D: ) awwe I used thatt :00?💓it is so cute💜I used that xD💗hehe <3 xD💕
awwe yus it’s okie💕💕💗
niniloaf I have a question :0 have you watched that video :0 of the cat that was trying to get in the fishbowl for 3 minutes xD wait I’ll link it🩷there’re others but this is the original original :P💓
https://youtu.be/9FjGP4t2zKY?si=ZdJpO6deZznMQUGI
pleasssee watch the full thing when you can xD💖💖I love that video xD💖
@LoveMyMoonflowers
(turn up the quality if you need to btw💕)
@iloveyouxx
i just…
cuteness overload.
that was.
way. too. cute. 😭 and that cat is freaking smart
and the way it looked once it was cosy in the fish bowl 🥺🥺🥺💗💗💗 i just died of cuteness that was way too much 😭😭😭
@LoveMyMoonflowers
omg ikr help😭😭😭😭😭I watch that like every day xD benefits include reduced stress and increased happiness in life xD I swear it’s so cute tho I wanna show that to everyone😭😭😭😭😭🩷🩷🩷I feel like that cat would bring out the good side in everyone🥺💜💕🐾💖
@iloveyouxx
forgot to reply to this 🥺 honestly i agree 110% 💜 wait… i have an idea, should we add that video to our bios? like - the link to it 💜 idk 🤔
I’m sorry🩷but no you don’t :') you don’t miss me. you’re all fine together, fine without me. I don’t get when you’ll all realize how pointless I am. being there- I’m literally so pointless you don’t get it and I don’t get why eyes tags me either way. I tried to k.ms it didn’t work and atp it’s just stupid I give up. sorry-🩷and I just watch and I know there’s no point anymore. of me being there. you honestly might as well remove my tag from the corner :’) so it’s just you and eva and eyes. yeah I sound stupid. you’re not gonna want to reply. you’re all so kind🩷but actually not even to be sad or whatever you do know how unimportant I am. my time on cups has gotten really really little and summer break started early so soon it’s gonna be none at all and after summer breaks over I’m gonna keep it like that. I love you🩷yeah wrong time but I honestly do :’) I love you all. eva and eyes and you🩷thankyou for being so patient with me :’) but I’m not waiting for myself to realize🩷
I’d reply in the corner but someone’s gonna say something completely unrelated thinking they know just how I feel and it’s gonna make me feel horrible so. I trust you tho <3
@iloveyouxx
*if any of this makes you uncomfy or i misunderstand you in any way, please let me know friend. i’m sorry… and i’m not just saying that. if i misunderstood you or hurt you or made you uncomfy in any way through my words, i’m sorry and i mean that… :') i try to understand but it doesn’t always work. i’m not you, i’m not in your world, or in your head, or in your home. so i don’t understand everything. what you feel, what you think, what you go through. i know being misunderstood hurts. 😔 but if i did… i hope you’ll let me know friend. also, no pressure to read this or reply. it’s okie. me sending hugs your way if okie.*
i know you might see it that way. on the surface everything can look fine. on here. or in real life. or both. i’m speaking generally but i think it applies to this too… but some things can seem fine and not be fine in reality. i think we do miss you 💜 i know it might seem like i’m completely fine without you on here but nadia… the thing is. :') every friend is different. and friendships are so special. they're so complicated and weird sometimes and messy and don’t make any sense sometimes. but every friend and every friendship is different, unique. and i'm not sure if you'll believe me but i do think your special in your own lovely way. we're all human beings and we have our own messes and struggles and our lives are messy and weird and complicated. when people hurt us we don’t stop loving them. we just stop loving ourself.
we are messy people. with messy lives. but this life… it's a beautiful mess. somehow. i think it is.
when i first came on here, i met a lot of people. my two first friends - i don’t see them around much anymore. my first ever friend on here… left. many people left over this past year i’ve been here. i don’t know what's happened to some of them. it's scary to think about… losing people, letting go of people, saying goodbye, not knowing what's happened to them, whether they are ok, whether they are safe or not. i miss so many people. i miss you, too. your one of those people.
and you might think that we don’t… i’m not in your mind, i’m not in your shoes or in your world so i don’t understand everything 💜 but i can imagine it must be complicated and it must hurt so much. thoughts, home life, school life, people, cups, everything. there must be a lot your dealing with alone and i can imagine that hurts and it’s difficult 😔 :') :')
i can’t exactly speak for eyes and eva, but i do think they miss you too. your a good friend nadia. 💜 you might not see it. you probably don’t… :') but i know your a good friend. you've shown kindness and loyalty and you seek to understand. you care. those are only a few things i mentioned 💜 but there is so much more i've seen in you and there is so much more to love about you. and i know it feels like that’s impossible to believe at this point. :')
the memories people make with you are memories they can make with only *you.* :') i honestly don’t think i’m explaining anything clearly but i’m really trying. (it’s probably not working. im sorry.) but what i mean is… there's only one you. nadia. and ik you said that’s just your cups name but still - there’s only one you. no one else sees the world the way you do. no one else can think the way you do, or write poetry the way you do, you are you. the friendship i have with eyes, the friendship eva has with eyes and the friendship you have with eyes are all different and unique in their own ways. and i think it’s beautiful and i love it so much.
the thing is… if you weren’t there in the corner, some things would be missing. someone would be missing. eyes, me and eva - we might have each other. but you wouldn’t be there. someone would be missing. some important. and ik you see yourself as unimportant :') but really nadsies if you weren’t here… we would miss you. even though it might look like everything is fine. there would be a hole in our hearts, a space only nadseyloaf could fill, for me. eyes wouldn’t have a potato friend 💜 eva wouldn’t have you. and sure - we'd have each other, eyes and me and eva. but we wouldn’t have you and that would create a hole in our hearts. a space only you could ever fill. 💜 and ik you probably still see yourself as unimportant 😔 but i just… really, honestly, wish you knew that we do love you and we do miss you.
you love us… 💜 i’m grateful for that. you say we are all so kind but lovely friend, your so so kind too. 💜 and so caring and sweet. you love us. but we love you too 💜 love you right back.
ik i’m not replying to any of this in order. i’m sorry. :') but yeah i don’t think you sound stupid. 💜 your hurting. 😔 you deserve safe hugs. i wish i could give you a big real-life hug right now 💜
friend again ik this is not in order but i really am so sorry to hear about your attempt… 🥺💜 i’m glad it didn’t work, honestly. but i do know… the complicated emotions and feelings that come after failed attempts 😔 we may feel disappointed, overwhelmed, scared, relieved, angry, like giving up, everything or we may just feel numb. it's such a lonely experience. :') it hurts to know that happened but i’m relieved it didn’t work honestly. ik in your diary thread… you’ve said many times that no one would care. :') we would care… i’m not sure we would even know for sure if it did work…? 🥺 it's a scary thought tbh. i’m sorry. in all honesty i did have a feeling something like that was happening whilst you were away 😔 but i didn’t know what to say and lately i’ve been learning and realising how bad i am at trying to support my friends.
i didn’t quite understand what you meant by not waiting for yourself to realise 💜 just an example of one of the many things i probably don’t understand very well. but i try. if it okie to ask what does nadsey loaf mean by that? 💜 *no pressure friend.*
*hugs if okay…* 💜
no pressure to post or be in the corner either… :') i don’t want to force you to do anything. i’m just worried about you… :') idk what to say. 😔
@LoveMyMoonflowers
ouh wow xD I’ve written essays before but never so long replying to something so short :0 ni you’re so considerate and thoughtful and kind and sweet and supportive and :’) omg💖tysm Ill read and reply when I can💗sorry if that’s late or anything >: life’s kinda busy for me now :p so I’m sorry if I take too long🩷
@iloveyouxx
it's okies lovely friend, no worries. tyt with replying 💜💜💜 ni friend wuvs you nadsies 💜💜💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers
not to be negative🩷I’m sorry💜I messaged everyone I knew because I just felt :’) and I wanted to come on here but didn’t for an hour then I saw this which was a month ago and I guess I’m using that as my excuse to be an annoying and irritating friend that no one ever asked for :3 this was beautiful friend not at all uncomfy or anything like that I loved reading this🩷🩷🩷I want to say my reaction or thoughts are all me and not to blame yourself for them or feel bad💜love you🩷so much🩷🩷🩷
this is gonna be short tho because I dont know I’m just like that I guess :’) i don’t feel the best right now
I know, so many people leave it’s so scary and hurtful😞💜I don’t apply that to me tho. I’m not special and there’s no reason for anyone to care or worry about me. idk if it still bothers you that I say that :’)🩷I’m sorry🩷it’s just me, and really friend in my opinion I can’t see anyone actually being able to put up with me or love me or care about me and stay caring about me or actually just car.e at all. I know you’re a good person and that has nothing to do with any of this🩷
I don’t think they missed me at all. come on eyes literally started hating me for a while before my friend talked to them ni no one actually lasts no one actually cares no one can because I know I’m easy to hate but the last thing I expected is for one of my best friends irl or not to see that I tried to km.s and go to my friend and say they’re so "damn mad" at me because I could’ve just upvoted something apparently but I just chose not to. no one gets it I swear no one gets it. I swear I love eyes I’m just so hurt if I didn’t care I wouldn’t be hurt. I don’t mean to talk about them sorry. but ni is it so shocking that when you’re unconscious you can’t actually go on a website just to make sure you upvote something just so one of your best friends don’t start hating you? do I need to? :’) maybe you’d hate me too if I left for long enough I’m sorry if I sound harsh but I’m really idk😞I’m sorry
it is hard to believe :’)💜I do care and I try but that doesn’t seem to even matter to anyone anymore now, thankyou lovely🩷
youre explaining it amazingly and you’re doing amazing in making me feel better🩷
I was wanting to ask to get someone to just remove my tag from the corner and ofcourse I can’t remove every reply but I just wouldn’t go there anymore. it doesn’t actually matter ni😞seriously no one cares. if I told eyes I wanted to leave the corner she’d probably hate me more. and evas nice and all but what’s me leaving gonna do. and when I left I came back and gosh I felt so alone it was like before there would be so many people that would care but those people never asked me how are you and I already told you how everyone just thought I didn’t like the question. and now it was just. ofcourse you mattered you’ve honestly made me feel better than most people now but I’m probably pushing you away by this too honestly. it’s okay :’)
I really don’t matter ni😞I feel like maybe you see it too but ofcourse you can’t admit to thinking it :’) but I don’t. the way I exist is just annoying on its own and no one cares anymore. people would get payed to show up at my funeral but then again who would pay. I don’t have a place in anyone’s heart unless it’s black with hatred😞🩷thankyou tho💜💜
I honestly really do. I probably seem like I just haven’t experienced love and care because of how negative I am :’) but I know I so love you all🩷I can’t stop loving you even if I tried and even if you did anything and idk :’) I love you too🩷love you sm🩷🩷
ik i’m not replying to any of this in order. i’m sorry. :') but yeah i don’t think you sound stupid. 💜 your hurting. 😔 you deserve safe hugs. i wish i could give you a big real-life hug right now 💜
you’re not🩷you try to understand🩷I just feel like after everything I’m grateful for anything I have left.
ouh I meant I love you guys but I’m not gonna wait for myself to realize that I need to leave or something like that :’)💜💜
🩷🩷hugs lovely🩷🩷
my brother wants to play with me :’)💜I’m sorry ni I don’t know why I’m dumping so much on you. I swear I won’t again. I’m just idk :’) I’m so fricking tired and :’) I kept looking everywhere even on my progress page thing for listeners and there’re so many but I haven’t messaged any recently and no one’s actually here and I can’t actually talk to anyone and I’m just really really really really really really really really really really alone. I’m so alone it’s so crazy I’m just born and then I d.ie and no one’s gonna grieve or any of that I just don’t matter gosh why am I still going I’m gonna go before I choose to continue I actually won’t do that again I won’t really I won’t and you don’t have to reply at all love you so much bye🩷🩷
@iloveyouxx
🥺🩷 i'm low on words right now but i'm going to reply to this as soon as my summer break finally begins 🩷 which is in a couple of days.
😔 i want to give you the biggest hug ever.