Chat with @floorm and @FaithfulScout
If you are not named in the title of this message, please don't read/post/subscribe/react/etc … *Thank You!*
@floorm
First of all, as I get to know someone, I prefer using my real name … Tom. (And I have no expectation for anyone to do anything different 🙂)
The reason I wanted to move us here is because this forum “theoretically” offers a bit more privacy. It’s like any thread on 7Cups, however, there’s an understanding here that only those named in the title of the thread are the only ones supposed to be reading its contents.
Again, thanks for going along with my questions. You already know a bit of my story, and I wanted to share more of it here, especially because when I was your age, I also had zero plans for my future.
The summer before my final year in high school I was miserable. Actually, for most of my school years, I was generally unhappy and feeling … How did you put it?
“It's like I'm some empty shell of a human, waiting for an identity.” ~ yeah, that was it.
Unfortunately, I was very unaware psychologically and kept myself “distracted” by my gymnastics training. (I say I was “distracted” because I didn’t love gymnastics, I just never had anything better to do.)
Well … it has been a long morning, so I’m tired and not ready to go into my story now.
Maybe next time if you want to hear it … but also … feel free to ask me anything.
Talk soon!
@floorm
Just realized there might be confusion: What I meant to say was, “I’m totally okay if you continue to use your username.”
Okay so to start, my real name is Weronika. It feels weird to type that out... Even in real life I usually just wait for someone else to introduce me. But maybe this small step will help me somehow in building up courage and confidence.
Another thing is that english is not my first language, so I might make some silly mistakes ð¥²
I think it's really interesting that despite all our differences, our problems may be similar in some way. Teenage years are always shown to be so 'fun and crazy', but the reality is crushing...
Also sorry to hear about your long morning! I hope you can get some good rest. I wish I could just transfer some of my free time to you, I've got way too much.
It's so difficult to find balance- school absolutely drains life out of me, but then summer comes and bad thoughts take over, because I don't have any distractions. I thought about learning a new language, or something like that, but I just get bored after a few days.
So if you could reccomend me something to do (maybe some book to read...?), I would be grateful.
Thanks!
@floorm
Hi Weronika!
I am just checking messages for now ... will write more later.
Here are some books:
- Clan of the Cave Bear
- I just started reading two books from Nora Roberts: Identity … and Under Currents.
- Sociopath a memoir by Patric Gagne
- Last Black Unicorn a memoir by Tiffany Haddish
- Tell Me Everything a memoir by Minka Kelly
- Matthew Perry’s memoir
- Paris Hilton’s memoir
- James Patterson has many books.
- Klara and the Sun
- Watership Down
@floorm
I think writing or saying your name here is a good step toward building up confidence.
“Teenage years are always shown to be so 'fun and crazy', but the reality is crushing…” - it is very ineresting that you say this because there are a lot of U.S. films that show teenage angst and suffering.
If you have a couple of more years before you graduate, what do you think about volunteering someplace? Or getting a job?
Hi
I know that there's also plenty of movies about teenager problems, but I feel like media just loves to glamourize pain. This will sound wrong, but nowadays people my age often claim multiple mental illnesses, almost as if they're bragging about it.
Also I think social media absolutely ruined this generation. Topics like self harm are so normalized and really easy to come across. There are whole entire internet communities on which users push each others into unhealthy behaviours, like starving themselves.
It's like everyone talks about mental health now, but no one takes it seriously.
About working, I thought about it, but the paperwork seems a little overwhelming. I asked my parents how to find a job and manage all of it, but I don't think they like the idea... They spoil me a lot, so maybe they thought of it as a signal from me that they should give me more money...
I often look at volunteering offers, but I think my skills are too bad to really make a difference. Plus I live in a place where there's not really much to do or the offers are all for people over the age of 18.
Maybe one day I'll try some random, small errand and if I like it, I'll find more.
Well I wrote more than I meant to, but I alredy said I've got too much free time hahhah
@floorm
Oh, I see what you mean. The normalization of these mental conditions makes them somehow popular or like an identity badge. I hope they grow out of this way of thinking. It's good you are not caught up in it. (I'm glad I never got into social media.)
I think it is good that you are expressing yourself. Some people talk a lot (or write a lot) and they have nothing to say. I think you have good observations about people and life (except when you are too hard on yourself).
My parents didn't want me to work either. They saw it in a similar way as yours. They said I don't need to work because they can buy me what I want. The problem is they (it was really just my mother) always judged me for wanting anything.
What type of community do you live in? And what kind of skills are you bad at doing?
I'm honestly surprised that I actually feel comfortable enough to talk so much here. In real life I absolutely hate talking. I mean, I like it when there is something to talk about, but there's usually nothing I have in common with others. I'm always observing people, but interactions... awful.
So I live in Poland, pretty close to the capital city, but not close enough to get there by feet. That makes being independent practically impossible. I can't get anywhere by myself...
In my village there's nothing to do, although I do appreciate that I'm closer with nature.
About the skills- well I tried a lot. Can't do artsy stuff, absolutely suck at sports and I'm not some academical genius either.
The only thing that I think I'm good at is speaking english. I don't even know how I learnt it all.
Anyways I hope your day/night is going well. Don't know what the weather is like for you right now, but if it's also that warm then remember to drink water :)
@floorm
Yes, it is hot where I am (the northeastern part of the U.S. in the state of Massachusetts). Our seasons run on this cycle:
Summer - June-August
Fall - September-November
Winter - December-March
Spring - April & May
Thanks for the reminder about staying hydrated!
I'm glad you feel comfortable talking here. Do you mean “here” on 7Cups, or here on the Internet? Have you found other sites where you meet people the same way we met? (I haven't found any, but I really haven't explored much.)
When I was in high school, I didn't have anything in common with my peers either. As I reflect upon it now, I didn’t relate to anyone until I met my wife, before I attended university. Even then, I never made any friends until later in life.
I’m sorry you have had to deal with awful interactions all these years. I think being outgoing and social is very overrated. I like the quiet life I live now.
Artsy stuff, sports, academics? When I was talking about volunteering, I was meaning something simple like cleaning up an area of a park, or helping out at the library, or helping out at a pet shelter. (I actually did the last 2 when I was in high school.)
I am very impressed that you speak 2 languages. I am Chinese but was born in the U.S. with immigrant parents who were not educated, so as an adult, I lost nearly all my Chinese. Maybe there is something you can do with English.
Do you remember when you said that aliens abandoned you on this planet? I think there are more aliens for you to meet here (like myself)!
Hello
So our weather must be similar and I think it's pretty fascinating. We're so so far away and yet we get to enjoy the sun at the same time of the year. Sorry if that sounds weird, but the size of the earth is just really interesting to me and I like geography
By "here" I meant 7Cups. When I was younger I often tried finding online friends through social media, but in the end there was only one person that I found. I was always just too awkward to actually talk to others, so in groupchats I never stood out to anyone 🤷♀️
Now I don't really care about having friends, but others keep pressing me about it. It's like I can't get a second of peace! I changed a lot about myself in the past year and suddenly everyone treats me kindly. I hate to admit this, but sometimes at school I hide in the bathrooms, not because of bullying, but because of befriending 😭
People are way too overwhelming!
I helped at a library before, but I think I only disturbed the ladies working there 😭 I think some of the volunteering offers are only put up for getting extra credit when you get into high school... I want to do something that would really help
And as usual, the actual good offers are for adults only, I think it's because of the law and responsibilty...
Maybe I can't do much, but atleast I can use english in situations like right now! It's crazy that someone so different from me can understand my problems. Makes me feel less alone in this huge world :)
@floorm
I cannot believe it, Weronika, it has already been 3 days since I received your message! I have been away from 7cups for longer than usual!
I guess it is time to share something about myself.
At the beginning of last year, I was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer (even though I never smoked and was always healthy).
In December 2023, I was helping my friend move some boxes, and I thought I strained my back. When it wasn’t getting any better, I went to the doctor to get it checked out and that’s when they found the cancer had spread throughout my body. My life turned completely upside down.
I have been taking a single medication (for the cancer) since last year, but now things might be shifting. My oncology team is not making any changes with my treatment yet, but 3 weeks ago, I had a tumor removed from my brain, and I just finished a course of radiation treatments on Monday. I have more treatments scheduled in the next 1-2 weeks.
Sorry if this is too much, I just wanted you to know what is going on since we are getting to know each other better.
I really appreciate what you wrote in your last message, but I’m going to rest now … and I will respond later or tomorrow.
Have a good night!
Hi, hello!
I'm so glad you shared something about yourself and I'm sorry that you have to struggle like that. I don't really know much about health issues, but I know that must be draining. I hope you can rest a lot and never worry about answering!
You seem like a strong person. I know we don't really talk that much, but I think you're someone that I could look up to. It seems like you alredy went through a lot in your life and it seems like you are unlucky with all that... However I believe that you can do it!
Maybe I am just some random on the internet, but if you ever want some support, I can try to help!
Wish you all the best and really, don't worry about responding. Even the fact that I can type out my thoughts helps me, so thank you :)
Good night! (Or have a good day)
@floorm
Thanks, Weronika, for your understanding and kindness. I hope I can offer myself as a person who is an example of good people in the world (even though there are not many of us … and even though we may be aliens 👽).
You are not ”just some random on the internet”. When you thanked me for helping you to type out your thoughts … that is one way you have helped me! Do you understand? Meeting you and 4 other people here on 7cups has been a great blessing in my life.
I have another idea for how you can help me. I saw someone on 7Cups the other day, I was thinking about writing to this person but I wasn't sure. Then I thought of you. Maybe you can write something nice and encouraging to this person, especially since this is a young person.
I don’t want to pressure you. If you don’t feel like reaching out to this member, that is okay (she may not be on 7cups anymore; I have encountered many situations like that here).
Below is the thread where I saw this person: her username is imnotolieee (I was responding to the original poster when imnotolieee made a random comment).
https://www.7cups.com/forum/students/General_2452/imsoscaredformynextyearofhighschool_360839/
@floorm
Hey Weronika!
How is it going? Have you started school yet?