Connecting with @fossilfellow
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I didn't get any allergy today ❤️ I think my body is getting used to gym :)
I didn't study at all tho :( I get sleepy after coming frm gym, and end up sleeping all afternoon and get distracted after waking up.
@fossilfellow that is such good news. our body may be adapting to it. and also maybe the AC helped
That's okayy. high fives for going to the gym. what did you get distracted to? shorts?
@chillmoin Yeah y.t and shorts, I binge watching a lot :(
Yes it is actually, the gym part is going good, I'm going gym daily. and it makes me feel like I did something productive, and I feel good after gym.. I haven't seen any allergy since that day 💖
I slip almost daily tbh :( nd it sucks, but somehow hold myself back before relapsing... i did relapsed once time this week.
@fossilfellow you watch shorts from your phone?
@chillmoon Yeah... I've got only phone
@fossilfellow ahhh kk. so you need your phone for studying? oh and 7 cups ryt 🙂
had a relapse today :(
@fossilfellow ohhh. I'm here with you. It's okay. you can get up again tomorrow. It's not your fault.
@chillmoon thank you ❤️❤️
Helloo dear friend
SO
UM
so sorry i kind of vanished for a few days without saying anything
i was not in the right mind , you know. relapsed many times, didn't study, messy thoughts, self hatred, worry, guilt and you know the loop 😞😞
I gave my tablet to another person and told to hid it heh. so there's no way to get that and use it.
I watched like 10 movies, in the past few days. I did that thinking it's better than relapsing. i didn't study. AT ALL.
i wanted to find a movie to resonate, to heal. i thought it was a goose chase but i watched this movie today and i just broke. i cried so so much. it just opened me. felt like a hug.
it's called 'good will hunting'
have you watched it?
@chillmoon Hii moon,
Yes, I kinda got that vibe.... I was thinking of messaging you today, but it got out of my mind :(
No need to apologise at all <3 I'm here for you ❤️
I'm so sorry you we're going through relapses, i totally understand how it feels... 🙁 It's okay to step back when ur not in your right mind... You're not alone ❤️
Yeah.. i also didn't study at all tbh :( I've been getting urges too, so for distractin myself from them, I was jus scrolling through shorts and y.t. I can relate to that... binge watching movies feels better than relapsing, I do that too at times.
*Biggg hugs* to you 💖💖
Yes I have watched that movie <3 I loved it.. and i was also very emotional... while watching that 🙁 especially that scene when the therapists says to him "It's was not your fault..."
@fossilfellow yesss like it physically hurt me at that part.
@chillmoon Relatable, but tbh.. it's still hard for me too relate with him completely, i struggle to relate on the "nothing was ur fault" part.. for some reason, I'm trying to change this prespective.. into smt positive.. like I've made wrong choices but I was only coping with the tools that i had at that time..
It's been a while since i watched that movie .. but i still remember the dialogues and scenes... That's an amazing flim, did youu relate to any specific scene from it?
@fossilfellow I'm really glad that i know someone who is dealing with addictions. I feel like we've got each others backs. and I see a light. We are improving 💗
@chillmoon I feel the same! <3 I'm grateful to know u too ❤️ and yes, I've got your back 💖
@fossilfellow
@chillmoon hehe his eyes 😂😂❤️ I'm actually using app rn.. gotta switch on site to send gifs. <33
@chillmoon
XD
@chillmoon I didn't realise his eye were moving 😅😅 looks cute but creepy 😭 ( I'm trying to get use to this crying emoji nowadays m, nd liking it for sum reason XD ) 😅
@fossilfellow thank youuuu *hugs you backkkk*
@chillmoon ❤️❤️❤️
@fossilfellow sorry to hear about studying. Let's try tomorrow, shall we? I'm going to do 10 minutes. 3 x 10 minute sessions. I will plan what to do, then i don't have to decide tomorrow.
And also i'm going to write my thoughts. and my fears.
@chillmoon I'm in, i haven't been journaling often these days like I use to :( I'll also write down my thoughts.
I think I'll do 30mins session.. for tmr, to start with...
Those 3×10 mins is solid <33
@fossilfellow lets gooooo 🙌
@chillmoon Yupp, we got this! ❤️❤️
here for you <3
@chillmoon btw where do u write down ur thoughts? I use an app for journaling, it's called DayOne... I've been on it since last 10 months
@fossilfellow oh really, that's nice.
I use a book. those hard cover books . i don't use an app cs it kind of triggers me, like i'd want to be in the phone after. and i don't have phone hehe . i gave it. and i only get it for 15 mins everyday
@chillmoon that's sonice honestly... To me it feels very difficult to give away my phone. But it does work.
I actually study frm my phone only..when I do :( from YouTube and stuff.. so the distraction lvl sky rocks..
15 min is so less tho, what ru using rn... laptop? <3
Yeah, if it's triggering it's better to use books.. for it ❤️
@chillmoon actually there's smt that helps me with my addiction personally too i feel, it's welcoming ppl here at cups, although its still a big part of my distractions :( but it gives me smt to do to feel lil good abt myself.. and I love doing it... It's kinda become a part of my day,
During my early days in cups, I was welcoming ppl daily, and realised that this space was helping me a lot... I didn't had a release ( although I use to slip a lot , almost daily ) for 3 months <3 after that I started relapsing again and it's not been a straight path since, but it kinda gave me hope that it's possible to get better.
@fossilfellow i can totally relate to that. that is what literally what i did too. and it helped. i knew i was spending too much time here so then i thought it was better than other addictions
@chillmoon Yeah â¤ï¸ aaah i feel like this phone is the only problem I've got in my life at times... I wanna smash it sometimes.. but obviously can't ð¥²
@fossilfellow ahhh i see. you are distracted easily you have it. and you must have it for studies. that's hard. cs you have to use youtube for studying. and it's impossible not to get distracted in there.
yes, i'm on my laptop. i can't go on youtube or any of those sites from this. i have coded and bloked t from the system. with the help of AI.
@chillmoon I'll try to do that too, hope it works in my phone <3
@fossilfellow i don't think you can do it on the phone. idk . but you need youtube for studying right. i don't know if there is a way to block shorts only on the phone
@fossilfellow does that mean you don't have to attend lessons physically?
@chillmoon No I don't. I've self-study ( what i call it ) for my highschool...no one use to attend lectures in my school. We use to attend only practicals. Nd no one would say a thing.. do you go to any classes?
I'm not sure about college tho, i guess I'll take lectures/ physically in classes, if there's a need.. rn I'm just looking forward to the entrance.
( I just took two spoon of ramen noodles which my sis made, it's spicy * my mouths burning rn )
do you want to something kind of hilarious
I GOT A SAMSUNG BUTTON PHONE 😂
cs i need something to communicate.
And the weird thing is, I love ittttt. i adore it. 😁😭
@fossilfellow
@chilllmoon lol 😂❤️ I think my dad had that phone, and I use to use it a lot... :))
Like it has a buttons on bottom? Does It works when u touching the screen? <3
@fossilfellow oh reallyyy?
yup buttons on the bottom.
Nope no touch screen lol
@chillmoon 😂😂 I see, i find it so cool honestly, idk why..
@fossilfellow IT IS COOOLLLLL 😂💛
@chillmoon 😂💖
@chillmoon 😂😂 I see, i find it rlly cool tbh, idk why. XD , it must've smol in size then regular mobiles right?
@fossilfellow yh. much smaller than the phone i had.
something like this, but in red lol
@chillmoon 😂 myy mom has this same kinda phone, I play games on it, thers only one, when there's no electricity... And data in my phone. but it's better than sitting and staring at walls i guess.. ( yesterday I was doing this 😅 )
@fossilfellow lolllll
@fossilfellow
I've got to goo
see you laterr...
@chillmoon okay! <3 see you 💖
@chillmoon
I just had a relapsed :( the urges were very strong... I'm feeling rlly tired and shame rn
I'll sleep for sometime I guess, and do the 30 min which was planned after waking up.
@fossilfellow ohhh :(
i'm so sorry. it's not your fault. you have everything in front of you.and it is impossible to resist.
we are doing good. yes, get some sleep. it is better to rest. but every time shame comes, tell yourself it's okay and shift your mind into something else
*long hug🫂*
@chillmoon thank you so much ❤️❤️
@fossilfellow I only did 10 minutes today. i'm trying to feel good about it and not feel guilt of the time wasted. better than before. so ill take it as a growth.
@chillmoon same, I was also able to do 15-20 mins yesterday ❤️
@fossilfellow that's awesomeeeee. taking that you relapsed yesterday, that it a huge win. 😊
@chillmoon 
@chillmoon I'll sleep for sometime rn.. then try to do 30 mins today... Shell we? <3
@fossilfellow yessss sureeee
@chillmoon ❤️❤️
@chillmoon hiii, how are you? <3
I wasn't able to do 30 mins, not even 5 mins :( yesterday... Today I managed to do 30 mins so far.
@fossilfellow i did 20 minutes yesterday. but nothing today. watched shorts for hours (i had to keeo my phone today w me cs i had to make some calls )
@chillmoon 20 mins is a win for yesterday, well done! 💖💖
Same, i scrolling for hours today, I managed to do around 25 mins rn so far but was getting distracted almost the entire time, so didn't really get anything out of it :(
@fossilfellow 25 mins is super. way to go !!!!!🙌
Do you know something? I BELIEVE IN YOU. I know you can. I know are going to get there. I believe in you.
@chillmoon I believe in you too! ❤️ and I'm here for you <3 You're not alone <3
*Biggg hugs* 🐾💖
@fossilfellow thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuu
@chillmoon 💝💝
@fossilfellow oh and if it's not night yet in your country, don't look at the phone at least 2 hrs before bed. You can read book or imagine in a huge water park 😁, or riding a bike, or a horse.
It helped me have a good sleep and feel less drained.
I watched shorts the whole day right, so now my brain is like trash, i can't stay doing nothing. i need something to distract myself. i feel like there's cement in my head. I'm not thinking clearly.
I'm going to give my phone away now and try read a book.
One thing i know from experience is that at a moment like this, if you don't physically separate your phone and you , you can't stop yourself from watching again. That's their trick. Shorts hijack our brain and we loose control of it. we become automated and we spend more time on the platforms, which increases their profits.
So maybe you you could try giving your phone to someone for a few hours
@chillmoon that's a really nice idea ❤️ there's still time left before i usually sleep + the charge in my phone is really low, I think i'mma try reading a new book... which my sis recommended.
My eyes r already feeling heavy, so i.g I'll sleep soon... I feel similar.
I'll keep my phone to the other room in charging and not use it for next 2 hrs, and try to read the book rn <3
❤️❤️❤️
@fossilfellow okayyyyyyy 💗💗
@chillmoon you're right <3
@chillmoon Be gentle with yourself 💖 we can start again tommorow <3
@chillmoon The book is called "Pride and prejudice" btw
@fossilfellow ohhhhhh reallyyyy.
I once started to read it but i got bored hehe. It's in old English and felt kind of heavy
Well, read and tell me how it isss
I've watched the move Pride and Prejudice. Have you watched it? I absolutely loved it. It felt like poetry in motion
@chillmoon I feel asleep yesterday after reading half a page XD 😅😅 yeah it's on old english i guess.
I'll probably try to read again today, will see, if i dun enjoy, It'll help me fall asleep again.
No i haven't watched the movie yet.. sounds noice though <3 is it like a musical type of flim ?
@fossilfellow No, it's not a musical. but there's background piano music throughout the film.
@chillmoon I see, thanks for sharing! :)
Rn there's no electricity in my place.
how's ur day going so far?
@fossilfellow ohhhh😦😦
Why is that?
Is it warm these days in your country?
It's warm here in my country
Today I worked for 30 min and watched a movie
@chillmoon I did nothing today, was scrolling during day and in the evening some of my friends came over, so i spent all time with them..
Yeah it's pretty warm during afternoon, but we got inverter in house luckily.. so at times when electricity goes out, we manage. Although its still pretty annoying :/
30 mins is awesome 💝💝 Well done!! ❤️😁 And even a movie <3 on top of that :)) I hope u had fun watching it <3
I think I'll sleep for now, I'm feeling bit tired, I enjoyed the time spent with my friends today 🥰
@fossilfellow so glad to hear you had a great time with your friends. 😊😊💗
What's an inverter?
Yayy thanks. A movie to avoid studying but still. (if i had my phone i would've definitely watched shorts, but no phone so no shorts, yay)
okkkkk. rest.
@chillmoon ❤️
it's a battery, which stores/holds extra current.. we can use when there's no electricity, for certain amount of time <3
Gudnite 🐾💖
@fossilfellow ahhhhh I seee
@chillmoon hey, how are you? <3
I did around 25 mins so far today ❤️
I'm using an app for watching lectures fast on y.t called "Video Speed Controller Browser" it's available on play store somehow xd.
U can watch on 3x+ speed without needing premium, and ads r also getting skipped on that speed <3
@fossilfellow realyyy? I'll check that out
How in the world can you watch in x3 speed 😭. It's hard to comprehend even in x2 for me
@chillmoon there's even option for 10x LOL 😂
I do at 2.5x - 2.7x max... The sir is pretty slow while talking xd so it's alright <3 🥰
@fossilfellow What the 😂😂. That's for sonic
2.7? jeez 😮. Is that your secret superpower?😂
@chillmoon I guess so 😁😁 I get what he says on 2.7x :p
10x is wild tho, a min of video finishes in 5-10 seconds.. u can imagine how it must've sounds
@fossilfellow it'll sound like skhvbaeoriybveybeaivnciubqvibancinvilunib.
@chillmoon Yup 😂😂
@fossilfellow brooooooo awesomeeeeee
@chillmoon 💖💖
Thank you, I had slips so I'm feeling tired rn :(
I guess I'll sleep for some time, then try again after waking up.
@fossilfellow okayy
*BIG HUG*
@chillmoon ❤️
