Letters from the Lilypad and the Lance (Pen Pal Chat)
Pen Pal Chat of @BastionKnight and @azurePond
Salutations, Knight!
I was thinking it might be nice to have a personal chat with you. I already have chats going with Kiara and Bear — both of which they started — so I felt it was time I initiated one myself.
When I thought about who to message, your name came to mind immediately. You were one of the first people to comment on my poems, and both you and withpeACE made me feel so welcome on 7cups. That meant a lot to me.
I hope it’s okay that I reached out. I know you’re in recovery right now and in the hospital... so I won’t bother you much — just thought it might be nice to stay in touch, exchange a few pleasantries or ideas when we can.
Just a heads up: I sometimes disappear for a bit or may not always be online, but I’ll make sure to keep you in the loop and give you a heads-up if I go quiet.
So, what do you think — is that alright with you?
@azurePond
Fondest greetings AzurePond,
You do not realise how much seeing this message has me grinning from ear to ear. Kiara had thrown down the gauntlet to me that I should put out a request for a pen-pal chat, and I had thought of you instantly. I had observed that several of the excellent folk I have come to greatly appreciate had formed such dialogues with each other which made me feel vicariously joyful that they had connected in such a way, and also an incy wincy bit wistful. Despite my fervent wish to reach out to you, I am embarrassed to admit I did not have the courage. So it pleases me beyond measure to find out you would like to share messages with me *Smiling happily*
So, yes indeed it is more than okay you reached out to me, and I would be delighted to converse with you here. It is no secret how much I admire your poetry, and I find your ferocious intellect stimulating and surprising at every turn. That you combine your artistic and academic sensibilities with a genuinely kind and decent personality is just icing on the cake. (Unless there is any doubt....i am very pleased and excited).
I read your response to Cyanessence's essay on meaning and found it very engaging. I think it helps a lot that you have a very dynamic and accessible style which makes your ideas and arguments all the more persuasive. Your blending of popular culture references, poignant asides, and scholarly points is so seamless. It feels like one is listening to an animated speaker rather than reading a dissertation. I know that many writers of all calibres try the 'stream of consciousness' or conversational style, with varying degrees of success. But you truly encapsulate the essence of dialogue. I have long since set aside my surprise at your range of literary talents, and instead just appreciate with growing wonder as each new facet is revealed.
Please, never ever think that I would be bothered by any message, regardless of what might be happening in the universe of this knight. Conversely, you need never feel compelled to respond if time or inclination inhibits it. I will understand, always. But I greatly appreciate your considerate reassurance that you would keep me in the loop if a quiet spell was on the way.
(And just to reassure you, I am no longer in the hospital...though the amount of times I am going back there lately aught to reserve a bed....or at least see if hospitals work like some airlines with airmiles......wardmiles perhaps? *grins*)
I am rambling on too much I feel, and worry that my first response might set you to flight. If it does, I will take no offence and will still hold you in the same high regard as ever. If, however your patience has not been tested, it would be an honour to continue a pen pal chat with you.
@BastionKnight
Fondest greetings back at you, Sir Knight!
I’ve always wanted to be friends with a knight — and now it’s official. Achievement unlocked! 🛡️✨
Also wow... Kiara challenged you? Brave soul... challenged a knight?!
I guess now you’ll have to find someone else to start a chat with to keep your honour intact! Or... you could say you telepathically nudged me into sending that message and I simply followed the call of destiny (Ok... maybe not — let’s not give Kiara a fresh mystery to solve... she probably has enough on her plate already 😄)
But seriously — the fact that you thought of me first makes me go yaaaay! 🥳 * ahem composing myself * it’s genuinely a joy and an honour to be your chosen pen pal.
Now... about this “not having the courage” bit — I beg to differ. I think it was less about courage and more like: “Maybe AzurePond isn’t interested... maybe she’s just kind to everyone… maybe she already has a dozen friends.” Which is not cowardice, my dear Knight, it’s the classic case of good old overthinking. And it’s valid. I do that too.
But let me be clear- I am interested in being your friend. I got the vibe that you felt the same from your message so.... here we are. :)
Also, just for the record- yes, I’m kind to most people but I’m not universally nice. I definitely don’t fake friendliness. So if I’m warm with you then it’s because I genuinely like you and respect you. I don’t waste time or energy pretending otherwise. As for friends here — I have a few truly wonderful ones here on 7 cups, and you, kind Knight, are very much on that list.
Now if that wasn’t what held you back and I just psychoanalyzed for nothing — ignore that part😅
This psychoanalysing is the reason that I don’t text a lot, even outside of 7 Cups. It’s not about disinterest, it’s just that sometimes I miss tone and expressions and eye contact… and I can overthink tone or timing way too much. So if anything I say ever comes off weird or unclear, please feel free to tell me — I’ll take it in good spirit. And don’t worry.... I’ll do the same for you (though honestly, I don’t think I’ll need to — you’re always so thoughtful, composed and chivalrous in the best way)
And now… the praise. Oh Knight… you’ve given me such generousand beautiful words that I barely know how to respond. I can only say thank you — deeply and sincerely. And return it with this-
I truly admire you — your poetry, your heart, your gentleness, your wit. You have a way of holding space for people that feels rare. You remind us that strength and humility, intellect and kindness, courtesy and honesty can all coexist. That the world doesn’t need more shouting — it needs more grace.
I miss your poems. When you’re rested and ready and feeling better, I hope your pen finds its way to paper again.... or fingers to keys. The world needs your words. But even more than that, I’m just glad you’re back home. If the hospital released you, that means you’re on the mend — and that’s everything. Truly. Though your “wardmiles” theory gave me a proper laugh. May your visits become fewer and your strength grow steadier each day. (If hospitals do start a loyalty program, you deserve a suite and tea service, minimum)
And no — you haven’t rambled at all (Though I might have) You’ve begun something gentle and true. I’m honoured to walk a few steps of the road with you, however winding it may be.
Also, please don’t feel any pressure to reply with long messages if that ever feels like too much — short and sweet works just as well! And no rush to respond right away either. If you're busy or not in the headspace, you can just drop a quick “Hey Azure” or “Hey Pond” (whatever name suits your mood!) and let me know you'll reply later — or honestly, even just liking the message is more than enough. I’ll understand completely, and I’ll be here when you’re ready🌸
Take care, Bastion Knight
With warm regards and gentle ripples of love
Azure Pond
Don’t hate me for reading (I’m really stressed and bored and a little lonely… Hard night…)
But I’m SO glad you guys connected! And yes, Bastion is still challenged to make his own penpal post. Hehe! You gotta share the love <3
@jesusredeemedme2425 Haha no worries at all! It’s totally fine with me if Knight’s okay with it too. We’re not really sharing anything personal or controversial here anyway.... and I’ve already mentioned (technically) you in the post so it’s all good on my end.
I do see people forming group chats and sharing vibes, so do we need to make a separate groupchat ? I'd love one with you, Knight and Bear... I'd ask Bear when he returns from the wilderness lol (he's taking a break now)
Also—how’s your mom doing now? I’ve been keeping you in my prayers. And how’s the carpal tunnel? I hope it’s easing up a bit.
Sorry you’re having a hard night. I’m really glad the connection brought some light. Also I hear that you challenged Cyanessence to write the philosophy post.. you're doing good work Kiara, eventhough you are having a bad night. Sending hugs 💛
I’d absolutely love that! You guys are awesome <3
Awful, but more stable now <3
The carpal tunnel is a lot better now that I’m only responding to a few posts <3
I thought Mom was going to go back to the ER tonight.
I got Cy and Torean talking too <3
Im trying… Im really trying.
@jesusredeemedme2425 Thank you and you are the awesomest! (it is a real word in my personal dictionary)
honestly admire how you're holding it together and still showing up for others.
I’ve been keeping you and your mom in my prayers.
And look at you getting everyone talking! You’re kind of the secret glue around here...huh? 💛
I see how hard you’re trying...and it doesn’t go unnoticed. You’re doing beautifully... even on the hard days<3
Awww thank you <3
Im barely holding it together XD
Thanks <3
Im trying hehe!
I am? Lol
Im sorry for interrupting your conversation… I’m a little embarrassed now lol
@jesusredeemedme2425 It's ok you were having a hard time.. You need to talk to someone. I understand. We all have times like that. So do not be embarrassed. It is not like you lurked here and left. You made your presence known and was cordial about it. I respect that. I have send you love and wishes in our chat.. we can talk more ..if that is what you want? 💖
Sure! :)
I was also amused by you mentioning me XD
@azurePond @jesusredeemedme2425
*Bows to you both* Permit me to first get the most important thing done first...
*Scoops you both up in a gentle gauntleted gathering grasp, granting grounded grace and guarding against gloom*
I am of one mind with AzurePond regarding your companionship with us here Kiara, and I am only sorry I am a little late to the party to offer you comfort when you are not feeling your best. I completely concur with our esteemed poet laureate AP that you are awesomest. Please do not feel embarrassed; as AzurePond said, you were/are having a hard time and needed to reach out, and we are here with hands reaching back. That is what friends are for.
And to AzurePond, it is spooky how you can pluck the thoughts from my head. Your analysis of my motivations was exactly correct. Much in the same way that you have frequently picked up on the meanings and subtext in the poems I have written which I thought I had carefully concealed behind cryptic metaphor. I too over analyse every word far too often, and with no visual clues nor tonal hints, it can be challenging. Please do not ever think anything you say, said, or will say is weird or unclear; firstly, I cannot imagine a situation where that would be the case with you, and secondly, your pleasant nature radiates in everything you compose. That you do not fake friendliness I never ever doubted, but that you are not universally nice?...I think that is just your humility talking.
(I wrote a whole massive paragraph after this but my inner self-editing goblin went on a rampage. So if there are any non sequiturs, or unreferenced statements in the next bit, I beg your pardon and patience)
Like with Tinywhisper11, and the way that she bestows such indefatigable good humour all the time; You all have such a profound impact that I think (sadly) you will probably never appreciate of yourselves the effect you have, as you are so humble and empathic. It is that lack of ego that makes it such a very sweet trait to observe in you all, but which breaks my heart for you. Bleh, sounding too mushy. It made sense in my head as I was typing it but re-reading it it all comes across a bit cringey. Perhaps though that is part and parcel due what I said earlier, (Or perhaps it just IS cringey, and has nothing to do with how and why the knight thinks and feels the way he does).
So after that huuuuuuuge (and hopefully not too boring) load of old cabbage, I just want to say I am always thrilled by your messages, and if my reply is ever slow, it is NEVER because I am not in a right headspace, nor not interested.
*Smiles warmly*
Hey Knight,
Just wanted to give you a bit of context about what happened. Kiara was having a really hard time and then she came across our post and commented on it and she started feeling guilty.
We talked on my penpal chat with her what happened and I understood where she was coming from—she was in a dark moment and just really needed someone to talk to. That’s why I made the appreciation post for her and tagged you too (hope that’s alright)
Anyway, how are you doing? If you’d prefer to finish the challenge by starting another chat, we can totally do that—or if you're okay with it, we can continue right here. Either way works for me.
I think Kiara might be feeling a bit embarrassed now, but I told her it’s really okay. What she needed in that moment was connection—and we all have times like that.
Let me know what you think.
@azurePond
Hey there blue-water-wonder,
I am so pleased you could talk with Kiara and give her the support she was needing. I hope you know that I of course will respect the privacy of whatever you both discussed, and will neither look nor ask. But I will simply inquire the following... if she is okay?
That said, please do not take that to mean I in any way have a problem with Kiara entering our pen-pal chat, for I... *hand on heart*...have no problem with that whatsoever. She really does not need to feel embarrassed. I can completely empathise with that desperate feeling of wanting to reach out. If anything, it is humbling and flattering that she turned to our chat. I think that shows just how highly you are thought of, and not just by Kiara. I agree with you that she needed that connection, and you are clearly both an anchor of stability and a comforting presence for her, so of course it was the right thing to do....nothing to be embarrassed about at all.
Forget how I am doing. It isn't important in he slightest, and yes I am entirely happy to continue chatting here. Whatever suits you best is what I am 100% behind. I am just still buzzing from the fact we are pen pals, so anything is fine with me.
I am starting to write something new, but it might take me a while. I need to get into the right emotional state to be able write what I want to, and I can't do that in front of people; it isn't quick to get into, and dropping into a vulnerable mindset is a struggle for me unless I have total privacy. I have only two masks for the outside world; stoic and smiling...so the thought of anyone seeing me wobbly makes me shut up tighter than a vice. I used to go off to the woods to write, especially at night. But until I can start doing that again, I am snatching moments where I can.
May I inquire what your creative process is? Your style makes it look so effortless.
@BastionKnight
Hey Sir-Verse-lot,
First of all — I loved the name “blue-water-wanderer.” That felt like a small piece of poetry in itself. And your message? It was like a deep exhale — thank you... truly. The kindness in your words not just toward Kiara but also toward me meant more than I can say.
Yes I did speak with her. She’s been going through a lot — her mom’s health, her own ongoing struggles, and just a generally overwhelming week. She needed a little love from all directions. In that moment, your empathy — and the absence of judgment — mattered more than you know.
And I just want to say… I was genuinely moved by how open hearted your message was. There’s something rare about someone who can hold space like that — not just for one person but for the unspoken emotions that drift quietly between people.
As for the rest of your message — I hear you. Loud and clear. That tug-of-war between the need to write truthfully and the need for privacy to do it? I know it well. The woods at night sound like the perfect sanctuary — a space where you can finally take the mask off. I hope you get that space again soon. But until then, I hope even the briefest moments you steal carry enough stillness for you to slip into that vulnerable state. Sometimes one honest line is all it takes to open the floodgates.
And I do see that — the way your "stoic and smiling" mask starts to unravel in your poems. There’s often this quiet intense struggle I sense in your work — like you’re constantly negotiating with your dark side (Not that I think darkness is a bad thing, by the way. We all have our own shadows. For me it is rage. I’m patient, yes — but underneath, there’s a looot of anger. Don't worry, I don't have anger management issues...well not at least towards friends) That battle with the self — I find it in your writing.
You feel, to me, like a knight — shielded, yes, but also tucked deep inside a fortress. Most of the time I don’t know how you’re really feeling because you rarely let yourself be seen in your softer states. So I just hope you’re okay. And you're truly okay with how everything is going on. One person's comfort should never come at other person's cost. I hope you know that I understand. And if you ever need company — I hope you’d reach out (Of course, if I’ve overstepped, feel free to say so. No pressure at all!)
As for my creative process... it’s elusive, a little chaotic. It usually starts with a flicker — an emotion, an image or a phrase that loops in my mind like a haunting. I jot it down in my journal (yes... an actual leather-bound one with a tiny key — very AESTHETIC, I know... I fully lean into my Gen Z vibes ... I am tohtally unique like everyone other Genz that way..hehe)
Then I let it sit — in my mind and in my journal — like a storm cloud waiting to break. I try not to chase it. I wait for the rain. And when it comes, I write fast — like I’m trying to trap lightning in a jar. It’s raw, messy, too much all at once. Only later do I slow down and start shaping it. Sometimes I pull metaphors from old travel notes or stitch a memory into a new poem. Other times, I punch a bag until the rage quiets and then I write.
My process isn’t peaceful — and neither is the writing. It’s cathartic. Loud. Emotional. But I think it has its own rhythm, even if it isn’t gentle.
Your writing, on the other hand, always feels like it comes from deep stillness (there is a Zen like - not calmness but understanding in them) — like you’ve already lived with the emotion before letting it touch the page. That presence shows.
And hey — I loved your question!... Soo the short answer? My creative process is really messy and there's never just one way I write a poem. Poetry is the freest thing I have in my life so I never try to constrain it — not even with rhyme (in fact... I often avoid it because I love how unstructured and open it feels) And I find inspiration in the most random things — fragments of moments, overheard phrases, tiny details like the clinking of teacups on their saucers. That sound might spark a whole metaphor in my head.
I'm someone who feels everything — maybe too much sometimes. People call it being an empath... though I don’t know if that’s a scientific thing — all I know is I absorb the emotional atmosphere around me. So I write from that — from whatever hits me emotionally, whether it makes sense or not. That’s usually where my poems begin.
Now you’ve got me curious ....I want to know a few things about you.
Share whatever you’re comfortable with — not just the knight persona or your poems (though I love those).Maybe your hobbies, interests, something that brings you peace or even something you dream of doing someday. Just… a glimpse into the person behind the pen (or the sword.. I totally picture you as a Knight with an armour and sword)
Grateful (always) to be your pen pal.
— blue-water-wanderer
@azurePond
You really are far too kind to me. It is unnerving when the things you write, especially your observations regarding myself, hit so close to the mark on things. It instils a jolt of fear and relief at the same time. There is a peculiar dichotomy in the longing to have the hidden world seen and yet doing everything humanly possible to make sure it does not happen. I guess that is why I have such an uneasy relationship with my poems; they are never about trying to showboat (which would be a pretty deluded reason given me amateur proficiency anyway). Every time I have ever posted any, I have first had to overcome that feeling of "will others believe this was motivated by ego or need for attention?". It is an odd sensation to wanting someone to be able to look into ones heart and head and yet being terrified that someone might actually do it. Thus perhaps why 90% of anything I ever write I destroy without it ever being seen by another person.
I was so moved by your comments on how you feel and your consideration to my well-being. That you were concerned for even a fraction of a second that you may have overstepped any mark just made me feel a gigantic awwwwwwww, and set me smiling. (You have not, and could not. I draw no lines in the sand and appreciate honest expression always). I was so proud of you when reading your statement "One person's comfort should never come at other person's cost"...I think that is a lovely sentiment. If more people took such an empathic attitude towards each other, life would be even more beautiful. I hope then that since you subscribe to that ideal, maybe you might understand how I too hold that maxim to heart, but in a separate way when I apply it to myself. Bastion does not place a burden on another for the sake of personal comfort. It isn't high minded, or nobler; just a part of a flawed human who is already practised at keeping locked up tight.
But enough of such maudlin guff. You had questions, and after such an open and fascinating introduction into the thoughts of the blue-water-wanderer's mindscape, it would be churlish of me not to answer them:
Some of my interests are art (I love drawing and painting, but am always frustrated that i cant replicate what i have in my minds eye due to lack of skill), food (i love trying new things, and something that gives me great pleasure is cooking for other people), music (my taste is eclectic, but it is such a powerful tool for stirring up emotions and imagination). I am a bit of (okay...lets be honest...a complete) geek...to the point of being a cliche (manga, gaming, painting and converting miniatures, making dioramas, watching anime, the list sadly goes on). I love reading, both fiction and non fiction (though more fiction than anything else), everything from Austin to Pratchett, Blake and Poe to Machiavelli and Sun Tzu. I adore fairytales and am drawn to zombie films. As to hobbies, I am terrible for starting them and then putting them on hiatus for long periods...currently i am trying to improve my German and learn Spanish with the help of Duolingo, am making some dystopian scenery for gaming with friends and family, and trying (abysmally) to learn how to contact juggle (I got myself a crystal without getting a plastic practise ball first...silly me).
I hope that was okay as an answer, (Hopefully it did not come across as too superficial. I am always conscious of reigning in anything that smacks of ego). But how about you? What floats your boat? Do you have particular muses, and in what directions lie the tastes and preferences of AzurePond?
@BastionKnight
Hey Knight!
You say I’m kind.... but I think perhaps it’s simply that I recognise something familiar in your words, not in the specifics of your story but in the undercurrent of it: that quiet war between concealment and exposure. The strange ache of hoping someone might see you — really see you — and the near panic when they almost do. It’s an emotional ambivalence I know all too well and your way of expressing it… it was familiar.
I don’t think you ever need to worry about your poems being seen as showboating. There’s a quiet gravity to your honesty — like someone setting down a fragile object not because they want attention but because it would shatter otherwise. If anything, I admire how you write from that place. There’s power in restraint — in what remains unsaid between the lines — and you wield that power with far more grace than you give yourself credit for.
And Bastion — that self-effacing sense of duty you speak of — I think I understand. It’s a kind of caretaking, isn’t it? The belief that protecting others from the weight of you is somehow a form of love. But I hope you know (or perhaps will come to believe.... slowly.... at your own pace) that even strongholds need air. That allowing someone to witness your internal weather doesn’t always mean they must shelter from it. Sometimes they just want to sit with you in the rain. (Think about it sometimes ...okay?)
Now — to another note! I thoroughly enjoyed the glimpse into your world. That mix of eclectic curiosities — from painting miniatures to zombie films to dioramas — is anything but superficial. It reads like a cabinet of wonders: slightly chaotic, deeply endearing and wholly genuine. I especially smiled at the image of you solemnly contact juggling with a crystal while the plastic practice ball sits unbought.
As for your interests — I’d love to see your drawings one day (no pressure, of course) Oh....you love cooking? I loooove eating — genuinely! I’m not much of a cook but I know the basics — you know, to survive — because my parents made sure I was trained in essential life skills (well..eh.. most of them) So I cook now and then and I love baking — usually cupcakes or desserts so long as there’s chocolate involved. That’s about it. My brother and my best friend both cook and I am their official food taster — as well as my grandmother’s. I’m a food critic really — picture me with glasses and a black suit like the critic from Ratatouille....hehe.
If you’re open to it, do share some music recommendations! I listen to everything, in every language — because, you know, music speaks to the soul.
I love anime though I haven’t read any manga yet. People around me keep trying to bait me into it — perhaps one day. As for making miniatures and dioramas — that is so cool Knight!!
The reading part — I think we’re quite similar there. That mix of genres and authors depending on mood — I completely relate. I love fairy tales too. And zombie films — Have you watched the Last of Us? It is really good!
When you said you have too many hobbies and then leave them on hiatus for long periods — me too... Knight… me too. I feel guilty about it like a parent favouring one child over another. Sometimes I even whisper... “I’ll return to you"... like I owe them something... hehe.
I enjoy learning languages too though I don’t have much luck with Duolingo. My longest streak is a month. Meanwhile one of my siblings has a 5 year streak — they haven’t missed a day since they created their account during the pandemic. Honestly, their consistency scares me.
As for my tastes — other than what I’ve already mentioned — I love farming (I know right?) That comes from my grandfather really — he was a proper farmer. We have an agricultural lineage (though none of us except him actually farmed) Still, we were taught the basics: weeding, tilling, planting. Now we just keep gardens and potted plants. I maintain a small garden and a vegetable patch. I also recently got into making terrariums — just the one so far.
I’m really into fitness — I run every day, work out regularly and do yoga on rest days. I read a lot (currently reading Love in the Time of Cholera), write poetry, and enjoy films — especially science fiction, and also those international films people call “boring”. I love dramatic French noirs too.
Speaking of French.. I am into fashion also. But not in the "fast fashion" or "brand" kinda way.
Oh I also have a very specific love for Ben 10 (it’s a cartoon, if you’re unfamiliar). I know it’s for kids and I used to have a crush on Ben Tennyson, but now I just genuinely like him as a protagonist. The sci-fi aspect, the aliens — it’s great fun and surprisingly clever. I actually love the plot!
And if I had to name my most defining trait or hobby — it’s travelling. I travel a lot. I absolutely love it.( I swear I’m more interesting than all this... but nothing else comes to mind right now)
Oh! I love making handmade gifts — paper crafts, origami, little things from recycled materials. Other than that.... I mostly tag along with my friends and siblings for whatever they’re up to — parties, trekking, hiking, skiing… I often take on the role of the hobby supporter in other people’s activities, just to build the bond. (God.... that sounded oddly corporate)
And yes — the volunteering. Whenever I get a break or a vacation I sign up for different kinds of volunteer work — with NGOs or the UN (Just to clarify — I don’t work for the UN, don’t know anyone in the UN and none of my personal views or ramblings reflect the UN in any way. That should serve as a sufficient trigger warning)
So that is it. I hope it answers your questions. I tried to include maximum personal details by not making them "personal details" ... if that makes sense.
Now if you are comfortable.....Tell me about the people in your life or tell me about something that you would like to do one day...
Rippling away with love
Azure Pond
@azurePond
oooooohhhhhh so much I want to reply to. I consider myself very lucky indeed to have such an interesting pen-pal. Thus, I do not wish to rush a response (even though my thoughts are running like a herd of wild shopping trolleys) as I wish to give my undivided attention to it. So I just wanted to let you know I am going to respond a bit later tonight when I can spend some more time on it (I wouldn't want you to feel that your message was overlooked).
I am greatly looking forward to it. But will just let you know that parts of what you wrote really touched me, and I am glad no-one saw my face when I was reading it. *Grins* Speak to you soon.
Fondest regards
BastionKnight
@BastionKnight
Oh wow!!!.... that was the warmest message to receive—thank you, Sir Knight.
Take all the time you need—knowing my words landed somewhere meaningful already means more than enough. And wild shopping trolleys? That’s such a vivid image I might just borrow it sometime!
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts when you’re ready. Until then... sending warmth and a quiet nod of gratitude
AzurePond
@azurePond
Greetings Poetpool (I am confident your own Marvel movie franchise is soon to be launched),
Please forgive the late response. I closed my eyes for five seconds yesterday evening and an entire night ran out of the window whilst I was not looking, and the moment I IDID open my eyes, there was the sun peeking over the horizon and in my window looking sheepish. (I am sure they were in it together and planned the whole thing). Thus, I am very sorry that I did not post this at the time I said I would.
So, on to my reply. I beg your patience if my thoughts become meandering or jumbled; but excitement and fast typing are not good bedfellows, especially when overseer proofread is staring out the window at passing urbane urban, (utterly unruffled), unpredictable wildlife.
The first three paragraphs grabbed me by the chest and instilled such a strong sense of kinship. It felt like you took what I thought but couldn't describe sufficiently and reshaped it eloquently. When you wrote "It’s an emotional ambivalence I know all too well and your way of expressing it… it was familiar.", I got embarrassedly teary. But fear not, my composure is cast-iron and we delve on with delight.
Your encouragement and compliments humble me. It was a great relief to hear that you do not feel that when I have made posts, it was not an act of pride. Your analysis was so sweet, and thoughtful. But I think you give me far more credit than I deserve. It is a delightful trait that you have whereby you can extract elements from anything and distil into an essence which ends up being greater than the original. It is an endearing quality and a rare gift.
That third paragraph though was the one that got me. Thus my comment about being glad no-one could see my face at the time *Grins*. I am not sure if you are familiar with the novel by Michael Ende and the film based on it, "The Never-Ending Story"? If you are not familiar, in the film there is a scene when the Rockbiter meets Atreyu after The Nothing has devoured almost everything, and he says something to him...(This might seem like a non sequitur, but it isn't). If you have not read the book or watched the film, I recommend them both. Likewise, another film based on his works, 'Momo', is another worthy distraction if you ever come across it.
I was thrilled to tiddlybits to find you enjoyed the quick snippet of Bastion's world. I loved your analogy of a cabinet of curiosities. My 'solemn' contact juggling of the crystal is frequently punctuated by the not so solemn panicked curses as I drop it, (so far (luckily) only ever on blankets and grass).
You love eating? Me too, me too! I think we share that hobby with at least a few other people on the planet also *smiles* I guessed you meant more the whole food appreciation thing. I can readily imagine you as a gourmand and connoisseur. I laughed out loud when you mentioned the critic from Ratatouille, as the second I started reading about your baking, love of food, and your family I immediately had in my minds-eye you as a version of him before you mentioned it. It made me feel all pleasant inside as it gave me again the impression we are on the same wave length (though I feel, without any false modesty or exaggerated praise, that you are surfing the crest of that wave whilst I swim after it playing catch-up). Baking is something of a blind-spot in my repertoire, so I am in awe of anyone who can do it well. And you have a soft spot for chocolate? Dark, milk, or white? Or are you equally egalitarian in your love for the sweet stuff?
You took the words right out of my mouth about music. So, I have prepared a little list for your delectation (or just a good giggle at my taste).
The whole of the Moon by the Waterboys (the very first song that came to my mind when I thought of you)
Lamba by Kaoma
Bamboleo by The Gypsy Kings
E luceven le stelle by Puccini (Jonas Kaufmann does a very good rendition)
Vide Cor Meum by Hans Zimmer
This Corrosion by Lambchop (there cover version)
Feathery Wings by Aurelias Voltaire
What's Up? by 4 Non Blondes
The Three Muskehounds theme by Christopher Laird (Hides face in embarrassment)
You give a little love (From the Bugsy Malone film....if you have not seen it, it is lovely)
Dalai Lama by Rammstein (Poetic and inspired by Goethe's 'Der Erlkönig')
Wolf Totem by The Hu Band (More for the feel and singing style than the lyrics)
I dreamed a dream (From the Les Miserables soundtrack: Original 1985 London Cast recording)
What about us by Pink
Yeha Noha by Sacred Spirit
Temple Journey by Medwyn Goodall
We're Alright by Supergrass
Okay maybe that is enough for now for you to laugh at.
So I haven't watched The Last of Us yet, but it has been on my radar for quite some time. I am sure i will get around to it soon though. I take it you enjoyed it?
I keep re-reading your post to make sure i do not miss replying to something, as it was just so rich and full of interesting comments. There are so many similarities, and that is such a nice feeling.
Now, a love of farming is something i would never have predicted. What an intriguing person you are. I did however imagine you as having a green thumb. I can just imagine you coaxing and nurturing life in all it's myriad forms, and be surrounded by beautiful plants. But you also are a full blown horticulturalist? Wow. Kudos to you. I looooove terrariums...though there is always a little bit of disappointment there also for me, as when I was a kid I imagined their 'ecosytem' perhaps a bit too vividly and so was deflated when I found out they do not actually create full blown miniature clouds and storms inside.
Well read, international film appreciator, runner, yoga practitioner, AND fashionista? Please tell me your "Not Fast Fashion nor Brand" means you are some sort of Bohemian crossed with Neonpunk/Manga style tones and highlighted with eclectic accoutrements form traditional cultural world dress?....then my mental image will be complete *Smiles*
Well travelled, i am not surprised. I think the world was made for individuals like yourself to visit. I have no doubt you enrich wherever you go as much as it leaves its influence on you. And what do you mean you swear you are more interesting than this? Look at how much I am gabbling already, and this is the condensed version of my thoughts that your message inspired.
I LOOOOVVVE the whole Ben 10 philia (I am familiar with it, though confess I have not watched it). For the briefest of moments i was starting to think you were not human, but rather a very clever amalgamation of literary heroines. So the Ben 10 thing convinced me you are real after all, and it is delightful. I think people overlook cartoons too much, or write them off as meaningless kid distractions. There are a few that i think a great deal of adults could learn a thing or two if they watched, accepted, and lived to the ideas and ideals that those cartoons demonstrated...(maybe not so much the classic dropping anvils on problems, or painting 'holes' on walls to escape...but you get the idea?).
And then she mentions the handicraft skills and volunteer work when she gets a break....a break!? How do you get any free time at all!!? *Smiling and laughing* My goodness, you are, without any hyperbole, darn amazing! How in the world do you ever get time to write or post on cups? Well, it is definitely official, you are my role model.
Thank you soooooo much for your message, it was perfect. The personal details without personal details was done with panache. I felt like I was sitting across a table having a chat with you as I read it all. I am honoured that you have shared this with me. I would answer your lasts request, but I have already made this in to a monster of a letter. So for now I shall come to a close, but I will answer those things at a later date.
Feeling those ripples as they touch the shore I paddle at, and tap-tapping the water to make ripples of my own in return.
@BastionKnight
Sir Knight!
I’ve seen your message and I’ll reply soon.... I haven’t read it fully yet but I did catch a glimpse of that list of songs you sent. Thank you so much for putting that together. First... let me listen to a few of your recommendations <3
With love
Azure Pond
@azurePond
Take all the time you need my friend, there is no hurry.
I’m sorry for intruding. I will bow out. Continue your conversation, I won’t read any more <3
@jesusredeemedme2425
You are not intruding Kiara, and there is absolutely nothing to apologise for. I hope you know we always welcome your presence. *Smiles*
Thanks
@BastionKnight
Greetings Lord of the Lyric Roundtable
(and visionary behind the soon-to-be-released indie marvel movie)
No need to apologize — you did let me know you’d reply later... so all is well. Besides it’s not like the sun and the horizon weren’t already conspiring with naps. Honestly... naps are the closest we have to time travel to the future — no returns.
Excitedly typed messages are the best kind — pure energy in letter form! So I shall too type in that spirit. Expect missing commas and stray vowels. Consider them the glitter of enthusiasm.
I'm truly glad that my little digital letter moved you. It means we made a connection and that’s a beautiful thing. I’m sorry it brought tears but hey — you did claim cast iron composure and even iron needs to let off steam. I’m learning that tears are okay too. Healing, even.
About your 4th para — your thoughts on “encouragement and compliments”.... I really believe you do deserve the credit. Most of us tend to downplay our worth because we’re so intimately familiar with our so called "flaws", missteps and the "could’ve been better" bits. We think this makes us fair judges of ourselves but often it just gives us a skewed view. The human mind clings more to negatives than positives. So we are biased to make our own negatives to look significant.So if others don’t see the same faults when they praise you.... maybe it’s because those faults aren’t as big as you think or maybe those are not relevant to the specific scenario.
(And thank you for the compliment. Coming from someone like you — meticulous, perceptive and principled — it’s genuinely an honour)
I haven’t read or watched The NeverEnding Story or Momo yet but I will! I trust your recommendations — you did get me into H P Lovecraft, after all and that was a trip.
You imagined me as the Ratatouille food critic — ha! That’s brilliant. Clearly we’re tuned into the same frequency. High five! (Wait... can one high five a knight? Hmm no matter — raises imaginary chalice and clinks it with yours.)
So baking is your blindspot? That’s okay. It’s a slippery slope. Once you start, you’re hooked — the aroma, the warm oven, the feel of dough under your palms. It's alchemy.
As for chocolate — I’m a dark chocolate devotee, the darker the better. I respectfully deny the chocolate status of white chocolate (as most of my kind do) Belgian dark is my weakness. Not because I’m a masochist (well… maybe a little) but sugar also makes me hyper (like I am high, I get too energetic and may spout even Shakespeare monologue.. my best friend has a video, my dad at first thought it was druugs but it was good old sugar) and I crash hard too. Milk chocolate’s too sweet for me unless it’s studded with almonds or pistachios. I confess I’m not egalitarian when it comes to chocolate — or most things, really. I’m kind of high maintenance, but not bratty (that’s my one redeeming quality)....What about you? Your chocolate philosophy?
Thank you for the playlist! I loved seeing your list leap off the page eh screen — it was the first thing I noticed and I dove in right away. We do share some tastes: Hans Zimmer, Pink, E lucevan le stelle, and Les Misérables — yes!
Your taste is diverse and refined (yes, I mean that even for the whimsical Three Muskehounds theme — which, confession, I hadn’t heard before and now can’t stop humming)
Another confession: I haven’t made much progress with the list… because I got stuck on The whole of the moon by The Waterboys. It’s on loop. I’m enchanted.
About The last of us — yes, I watched Season 1 and really enjoyed it. A fair adaptation of the game. I haven’t started Season 2 yet but it’s on the horizon.
And farming — IKR? Most people wouldn’t picture that with me. But thank you for imagining me with a green thumb — that means more than you know. I wouldn’t call myself a full blown horticulturist just yet but I do like the idea of coaxing life out of soil, of watching things grow. Maybe it’s the control fr3ak in me or maybe it’s the quiet magic of it — sow, wait, tend, bloom. Farming is like faith with dirt under its fingernails.
Also… you give a lot of compliments. Like... a lot. Thank you — I genuinely don’t know how to respond beyond awkward grins and mentally short circuiting a little. You’ve officially surpassed my siblings on one of their generous days and that’s saying something!
As for fashion — I usually dress for the occasion but yes I do have a personal style, more intuitive than curated. I’m not nearly as cool as you imagine, noble Knight! Well… okay— I did once dress up for Comic Con and I never miss a chance to go all in for Halloween or costume parties.
“A clever amalgamation of literary heroines” — wow. That’s an A+ compliment if there ever was one. I don’t think I’ll be able to top that. Thank you (yes, I know, my responses are tragically underwhelming in comparison)
Now, Ben 10. I love that Ben is not your typical squeaky clean hero. He’s a kid with powers, yes, but also with flaws, ego, mischief and all the messy stuff that makes him real. He uses the Omnitrix to dodge detention and sneak ice cream — relatable. As a teen, he’s still a goof with insecurities, but when it counts, he steps up. He’s clever but not impossibly perfect. Moreover, he knows how to have a fun time. I think that’s why I like him — and Gwen and Kevin too. They’re all deeply human, ironically in a show full of aliens. Maybe that contrast makes their humanity shine even more. So yes I completely agree — cartoons do have lessons for adults, if they’re willing to listen.
About breaks — I don’t do all my hobbies every day. Only the non negotiables like watering my plants, reading a little or moving my body somehow. The rest — I rotate through. Monthly or weekly passions you could say. Volunteering mostly happens in summer.
Oh and 7 Cups — I get time for 7cups now especially since I’m in this sort of recovery phase. It gives me space. And if it wasn’t obvious yet: I used to be a serial planner, master of time blocks and coloured schedules. Still am, to a degree. Just... softer now. Less tyrannical about it.
The ripples I had sent have returned with a message — and some beautiful music and book recommendations... for which I thank you deeply.
Warmly,
Your friend,
Azure Pond
@azurePond
Salutations Lady Lilypad,
I hope you aren't really sorry that your words have the power to free tears (even rapidly suppressed and quickly wiped away ones). Those ones were the good kind, so be proud of your mastery of the written word and its effects on people.
I was re-reading my letter and cringed at all the errors; spelling mistakes, use of double negative, and generally poorly phrased sentences. I liked your description of "the glitter of enthusiasm" though.
When it comes to baking, try as I might, the results are never what the recipes say they should be. There are a few things I can (fairly) regularly churn out without too many disasters: Treacle tart, scones, and tres leches cake. But beyond that, trying my baked goods is a mine field, where even if you get lucky, you are still trudging through a churned up muddy field. Do you have signature baking recipes that are your favourites?
I am definitely on board when it comes to Belgian chocolate...the high cocoa butter content and fine ground cocoa mass really makes such a big difference. (*Takes note that AzurePond is a sugar fiend, and can only imagine her state of exuberance if on the sweet-stuff*). As much as white chocolate may be the odd cousin of the choco family, (lacking the cocoa solids), I still profess a love for it. However it must be good quality, as ones where there is a lot of extra sugar or they substitute other fats for the cocoa butter make it taste bleh. But conversely, I am also a big lover of dark chocolate, and love using it in both savoury and sweet dishes too....and I like milk chocolate also.....which probably makes me a thoroughly unrefined palate....or just plain greedy. But hot chocolate, made with real chocolate and cream, that is something I find irresistible.
You liked the playlist? I am very pleased, and it is very nice knowing we share some musical tastes too. I hope you find the rest of the list interesting, even if not all of it necessarily resonates. If I had been clever and not hurrying, I would have tried to make a list that flowed better from one song to the next. But maybe that is something for another time. I am also delighted that The Whole of the Moon seems to have captured your attention. May I ask what particularly appeals to you about it?
A fair adaption of the game...you are a gamer? I avoided letting slip it was a game for fear you might think me irredeemably geeky. But now I also know you go to comic con,....it seems you are one of us. Beneath that towering intellect and rapier wit, there is chic-geek lurking. *Grins*
That was supposed to be a gentle, good-natured tease, but I am quite conscious that you have used several self denigrating labels...yes, you use them humorously and/or humbly, but something you said gave me pause. You mentioned you are in a sort of recovery phase, and it struck me that it was something easy to overlook. You are very clever, funny, and interesting, and the erudite and compassionate way you treat everyone makes it easy to lose sight of the fact that AzurePond might be someone who needs delicate care too. I will also take onboard what you say about my offering compliments, I hope you will forgive my exuberance. I shall reign it in. They were given with the best of intentions and are earnestly meant, but I can appreciate that it can be too much or seem insincere. If it embarrassed or made you feel awkward, I am very sorry. If I misread/read to much into your comments then feel free to point and laugh. But even so, it is better to be safe than sorry, so I hope you know I see more than a façade, and you have but to call out and I will be there if needed.
Don't panic, I am not ordering a truck load of cotton-wool to pad out the room and putting foam around every possible sharp edge. I still view you with the same impressed attitude. If anything, it just deepens my respect for you. I am however very keen to see if you have some music suggestions for me.
As promised, I shall answer the other request you posed: There are not a lot of people in my life, mostly my immediate family (who are very important to me, but don't tell them that *smiles*) and a very small circle of friends. That's the thing with wearing armour you see, not very cuddly for others. I have several sisters, and we are all very different from each other (though I would not wish them any other way. I am also very close to my nephews whom I see pretty much every weekend.
A thing I would like to do someday....well I have pipe dreams and aspirations. A few of the aspirations are: To visit more countries and to become fluent in multiple languages (German and Spanish to start with, but also Sign, Italian, French, Japanese, Russian, in fact any really...hmm, maybe Sign more than most though). I would love to finish writing a novel one day, even if it never gets published. I would really like to win the lottery (I think the only reason I have not done it so far is due to one very small factor....I choose the wrong numbers. If I could solve that small detail, i'd be laughing). But if I did win, it would be so awesome to be able to have the funds to make my loved ones dreams come true.
Well those are a few to whet your appetite. So how about yours?
Affectionately,
Your eager acolyte,
Bastion Knight
@BastionKnight
Sir Knight,
I’m writing this like a lost soul stranded at sea level...well, 39000 feet above it....if we’re being technical. There’s a family emergency (My great-aunt is in serious condition so my presence was requested)...so I’ll be away for a few days—but I’ll be back soon.
I’ve read your digital letter, repeatedly, and when the skies settle... I’ll send you the thoughtful, detailed reply you truly deserve.
Until then, take care, brave knight!
Your friend
Azure Pond
@azurePond
Dear AzurePond,
I am very sorry to hear of the emergency. Wishing the best for your great-aunt, and my thoughts are with you. Do not worry about anything except looking after your family and yourself.
We shall speak more when you return, but do not try to rush anything, and you take care too.
Sending you a parcel of fortifying positive vibes to take with you.
Yours with esteem,
Bastion Knight
@BastionKnight Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughtfulness... they truly mean a lot during this time. I’ll be tucking that parcel of fortifying vibes safely into my metaphorical suitcase.
My grand-aunt passed away. It was a peaceful death — she was 100, and all her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren were present. We've had the funeral but there are still a few things left to take care of — the mourning, the legal things, and everything that comes with it.
She was my grandma's elder sister and the last remaining member of her side of the family, apart from us. So I’ll need to stay here for a few more days.
I’ll definitely reply to your letter soon but I didn’t want to leave you hanging — so in the meantime, I’ll send you a list of songs I like.
@azurePond
My deepest sympathies. I hope it was some measure of comfort that your grand-aunt was surrounded by all of her family, and that it was peaceful. I know it does not make it any less sad, but the fact you were all with her is something that maybe brought her some happiness and gave you all a chance to say your farewells. If you need anything, you have only to say.
*Sending you gentle support*
@BastionKnight
Noel’s lament (Kholby Wardell) — I first heard it as a background track in some makeup trend on social media then stumbled upon the full performance and got hooked. Eventually, my friends started singing it too — and just like that it became our idk emotional performance song?!
Coldplay - Viva La Vida (I dont love love Coldplay... this is the only song I know)
Bo Burnham - From God’s perspective (If this goes against any of your beliefs , like the pork thing or heaven thing, I hope it doesn’t offend — take it as a light hearted joke and just focus on the core message..)
Happy listening! (Hopefully)
@azurePond
I totally get the mood music shift (I too have different preferences depending on what I am doing, or what mood i am in). I am making my way through your list and enjoying it immensely. I know you probably have a lot on your mind at the moment, so I will keep this brief and just share a few thoughts since you went to such a big effort with your expansive song list:
Hozier - His lyrics are great. I really enjoy his voice and the basey tones he uses in his songs (big fan of 'Take me to Church' and 'Too Sweet'
Pink Floyd - Thumbs up in agreement.
Awww, i think it is adorable that you thought your dad wrote Hey Jude (insert nickname) about you...So lovely. Plus I really like the image of him singing it to you, such an upbeat daddy daughter picture.
There are a lot that are new to me, and I am really digging your choices. You have great taste (not trying to give compliments that embarrass, just showing appreciation for shared musical preferences).
I really understand where you are coming from with Lana Del Rey; her gentle and soft lulling voice seems to bypass the brain and burrow straight into the heart. For me 'Video Games' has a very similiar pull as 'Born to Die'. She really is so expressive.
(*Is delighted that you have Disney and Cartoon music on your list too*...did you add them just to make me feel less silly about the Muskehounds theme? I suspect that may be at least part of your thought process behind the choice. It is a very considerate act. You seem to have a knack for finding commonalities with others and blending them in with your discourse...considerate, but maybe also turning conversations back towards others rather than focus on you? Humble, definitely, thoughtful, most assuredly,...but I wonder if you and I share a habit of deflection?)
Kabira - Such a beautiful song. I looked into the lyrics and then I was very sad indeed. I know that things can get muddled or lost in translation, so i may have misunderstood, but the fact you mentioned it hit too close to home made me wonder what in your life has made you identify with it so strongly. That made me feel sad for someone I think highly of, because even if i am confused as to the details, I think the tone still comes across strongly.
Metallica- I would not have guessed this as a choice on your list, but it makes me happy that it is there. Again, very much in sync here.
*Smiling again about your comments on The Whole of the Moon* You are a witty person, and I am so thrilled it seemed to have resonated with you. Like I said previously, when I think of you that was the first song that came to mind.
I didn't comment on everything, not because I did not enjoy it all or have thoughts on it, but i wanted not to go on too long.
Take things easy. There is no rush to respond. In the meantime my thoughts remain with you and your family.
@BastionKnight
Sir Knight ,
Thank you so much for this message—I really appreciate you taking the time not just to listen but to respond with such genuine thoughtfulness. I’ve tried to complete this reply about a 100times, and I kept getting interrupted...3 of those times were just my brother asking for the same wifi password. So I’m going to type this real fast (you’ve been warned)!
I smiled reading your comments—especially the thumbs up for Pink floyd and your love for Hozier’s deep, rich tones. Too Sweet is such a vibe, isn’t it? I feel like he pours emotion straight from his bones. Hozier is honestly one of the few conspiracy theories I believe in—I’m convinced he’s really a forest fairy/seer with magical powers who comes out now and then to write poetry.
About “Hey Jude” and Time in a Bottle—yeah my dad used to play the guitar and sing us to sleep (not everyday though ) It felt like an acoustic concert at bedtime. Good times.
You’re absolutely right about Lana—her voice has that haunting, effortless ache to it. I love Video Games too… They say that the world was built for two / Only worth living if somebody is loving you
That line always hits.
As for the Disney and cartoon tracks— they were partly a gentle nudge in your direction and partly because I genuinely enjoy them. Even if you havent put that theme song in the list I would have put Prince ali in mine...Ben10.. maybe not.. Bo Burnham definitely... Music doesn’t have to be serious to be sincere, right?
I do try to find common ground with people—it’s almost a reflex. It’s not fake... I never lie about my tastes. But I will look for overlap, and if it’s not there, I try to build it—either by learning from them, or exploring something together. I let them know if I don't know about the stuff they are talking about. That’s why I end up knowing a lot of random and diverse things. I like partaking in people’s hobbies with them, just to understand what lights them up. And if that’s not possible, I’m still happy to just listen. Getting to know someone deeply matters to me—especially when I feel there’s potential for a meaningful friendship. I don’t really do superficial friendships. Acquaintances, sure—I do “hi/bye” and small talk with them. But even then, I somehow pick up and remember small personal details. Like the baker I buy bread from—I’ll notice the new vase on the counter and ask about the orchids. And next time, maybe I’ll ask about a follow up or notice something new. It’s not manipulation or fake... it’s just how I was raised. My grandfather taught me to notice people. We’re not living in a simulation where everyone else is just a background character. Every person is unique. You treat them like they matter (because they do... they do matter)—even if you only meet them once. So yes, I remember names, conversations, preferences. But somethings I forget too..anyway that’s how I am.
I’m really glad Kabira reached you. You understood more than you think. Just one small clarification—it’s a Hindi song but it contains a lot of Urdu too. I’m not the best person to explain this, but here goes: the song is addressed to Kabira. It’s from a Bollywood film, and you know how Indian movies are basically musicals. In the film, the hero is named Kabir—but it’s also a nod to the poet-saint Kabir. The person who first explained the song to me said that Kabir was a saint, but I later read online that he was also a poet and a wandering ascetic. That’s why the song has that spiritual, searching tone.
In the movie, Kabir is leaving his home—he’s a wanderer, going far away, leaving behind his love and friends. The song is like a call to bring him back. That’s why I said I relate to it.
And the line —
Mast Maula, Mast Kalander / Tu Hawa Ka Ek Bavandar / Bujh Ke Yun Andar Hi Andar / Kyun Reh Gaya
—someone once told me it reminds them of me. It loosely means: Oh free spirit, like a wandering cyclone of wind, why have you quieted down and turned inward? It describes someone wild and untethered, but whose heart feels quietly burdened. I hope I haven’t butchered the meaning, but I think you’ll feel what it’s trying to say.
And Metallica! That surprised you? Why? I even listen to System of a Down—I love Chop Suey!
(I thought that you would be more surprised that I love Vivaldi)
Also, thank you for the compliments again. And wait—The Whole of the Moon reminds you of me? That’s… wow. Thanks. May I ask why?
Take care too—and know that I’m genuinely grateful you’re here, sharing this space with me...Thanks again!
Your friend
Lady Lilypad
@azurePond
Dear Lady Lilypad,
It honours me profoundly when you say that you are pleased I am sharing this space with you. It is a pleasure, I assure you. In regards to the song by the Waterboys, from what I have come to learn about you (and which your latest letter cemented even stronger), I have developed an impression which seemed aptly encapsulated by the lyrics of the song;
"I pictured a rainbow, you held it in your hands. I had flashes, but you saw the plan - I was grounded while you filled the skies. I was dumbfounded by truth, but you cut through lies - I spoke about wings, you just flew. I wondered, I guessed, and I tried. You just knew"
It is how I have come to view you. We all seek and try, but Azure Pond just does. You seem to do and be what I would wish to, and what I try for (and seemingly with such effortless grace). So the song kinda gives voice to that nod of admiration. Also, the magical and mundane blend of imagery, coupled with the orchestral yet pop synth sound reminds me so much of how you appear to be...a mix of the unusual and fantastical, yet still grounded. Then there is the allusions to reaching too far, too soon: an unexplained repeated mantra that hints at loss or hurt without revealing the mystery...things which also seem to come through or glide just beneath the surface in many of your poems. The hidden depths of our dearly respected Lady Lilypad that bleed out as feelings and impressions even if we do not comprehend what we are responding to in her writing. Plus, just hearing the bouncy refrain and (incongruously melancholic yet aspiring) lyrics makes me smile. All these things together make me think that you see the whole of the moon, and thus it reminds me of you.
Thank you for the explanation of Kabira. I did do some wikigooglonian researching after listening to it as i was so intrigued, but it is much better having the clarification from you. Especially as yours comes with the the added bonus of your impressions and gives insights into how you think and feel, which is a pleasure of its own too. The quote you gave, I can see why the someone you spoke of said it reminds them of you. I get the impression that their comparison really struck a chord with you? Do you feel it describes you?
You like System of a Down too? See, the happy surprises just keep coming. I guess I was less surprised by your appreciation for Vivaldi as you are so widely read, seem to be very highly educated and well travelled, and have such a discerning intellect. Those impressions tend to foster more an image of the urbane cultured sophisticate than the comic-con mosh-pit yogi. So with each new thing I learn about you, the more rich and complex my impression of you becomes. It is in some ways akin to the joyful feeling one gets when reading a novel and new fragments of a favoured character are revealed and developed. That sense of wonderment and satisfaction is delightful.
I thank you for making time to reply. (You really did not need to squeeze it in if it was inconvenient, but I am still so pleased that you did). I hope you are doing okay, and I have another wheelbarrow full of concentrated comfort dust on standby should your bucket be running low. I have to admit, I thought it was such a sweet thing for you to do, trying so many times to get to write something to me in between interruptions. The image of that made me smile so much.
Anyway, I wish you well my friend, and look forward to continuing to explore the land of the Azure Wonder Wanderer.
Take care, and speak to you again soon.
@BastionKnight
Dearest Sir Knight,
Thank you for the kind words — and for thinking of me when you heard The whole of the moon. I genuinely loved the song.... not so much because it reminded you of me (though that means a lot).... but because of that “too far, too soon” refrain — and the way the upbeat music carries this undercurrent of melancholy. It’s such an intriguing contrast and I’m grateful you introduced it to me.
As for Kabira — it wasn’t exactly the song itself that struck a chord but rather how someone once described it in relation to me. It wasn’t accusatory or dramatic — just… a quiet perspective and I suppose it caught me off guard. I don’t often get to hear how people really see me — at least not beyond a simplified or one dimensional idea. So hearing the thought process behind it felt strangely grounding. Kind of like your compliments — unexpected but in a good way.
And yes...I do get what you mean by urbane, cultured, and sophisticated — though I feel like I’ve only borrowed those traits at times. I am urbane— though my ancestral home is tucked right in one village — but I suppose I’ve picked up a bit of city sheen over the years. Cultured? that probably depends on your definition of culture....and sophisticated? I try, now and then, when the occasion demands it. But honestly.... I’ve always felt like that Tennyson line from Ulysses- I am a part of all that I have met.
The comic-con side of me? That’s thanks to one of my best friends — I’m basically a partner-in-crime in all things anime, marvel, dc, games and general nerd-dom. As for System of a down and Metallica — that credit goes to my brother. He’s effortlessly cool, has excellent taste in music, and can even play Vivaldi on his electric guitar. So really... much of my so called complexity is a patchwork of the people I love.
What about ? What are some of the hobbies or things or general habits in your personality that you have picked up from others?
Once again... thank you — truly — for your words, for the care braided into them, for the imaginary wheelbarrow of comfort dust (which I shall mentally tip into my tea when the day feels a little too grey) and most of all.... for the company.
Lady Lilypad 🐸
@BastionKnight I forgot to mention one.... since you’re learning German, check out Barbaras rhabarberbar by Bodo Wartke. Learn this "rap" and if you’re ever in Germany,....you can sing it to impress the locals (well, maybe they won’t look impressed, but they’ll definitely let you know you tried!)
@azurePond That was a joke - Halt dich an mir fest by Revolverheld
@azurePond
I LOOOOOOOOOOVVVVEEE IT!!! It is delightful and funny! I can't stop bouncing along to it.
*Beaming smiles*
@BastionKnight 
@BastionKnight Sir Knight!
Ah... but what a joy it is to receive a letter so brimming with warmth, humour and earnestness!
First, let me say : please don’t cringe at your previous letter — I didnt notice any spelling wobbles and double negatives (Besides... I think the glitter of enthusiasm shines far brighter than the polish of perfect grammar)
As for those tears — no, I’m not sorry .... if they were the good kind. If words can unearth what we don’t always let ourselves feel, even just for a moment, then I consider that a quiet kind of magic. Thank you for receiving mine so openly.
Now onto baking... well, fret not — cooking is a kind of alchemy after all and sometimes alchemical experiments explode spectacularly. It’s all part of the discovery process. My first attempt at a brownie could’ve doubled as a burnt brick so I deeply understand the tragedy of baking gone rogue. These days I’m marginally better — at least my brownies now resemble brownies in texture.
As for signature recipes — I do make a chocolate wine cake that I’m rather proud of. And while it’s not technically baking, i also make a mango tiramisu with pistachios that has a bit of a fan following in certain circles (mostly mine, but still)
I'm delighted you understand the Belgian chocolate obsession. Swiss chocolate, in my humble opinion, leans too sugary. And yes — Azure Pond is most certainly a sugar fiend. It’s precisely because of that that I take my coffee black — no sugar. Can you imagine me on caffeine and sugar? Absolute chaos.
I respect your love for white chocolate (though I am still not convinced it is chocolate) But who decides what’s refined or not anyway? Own your preferences... you know thousands of people have died so that one day their great great grandkids can have the freedom to choose and openly express their likes. Also the idea of an "unrefined palate" feels a bit absurd when taste is so personal. That said, I do agree — when white chocolate is overloaded with sugar or made with fat substitutes instead of proper cocoa butter, it loses its essence entirely. And as for hot chocolate... yes, the only acceptable version is the one made with real chocolate and cream. Those store-bought mixes with synthetic sweeteners and weird fats? Absolutely not. I refuse.
Also — yes! High5 for loving chocolate in both sweet and savoury dishes. My brother makes steak with just a hint of chocolate in the reduction — oh, it is sublime. I could eat that forever.
Now the playlist — so far, I’m loving the songs. I want to write a proper letter about them soon, but know that The whole of the moon especially struck a chord. That odd dance between upbeat rhythm and quiet melancholy just hit something deep.
As for gaming... well, technically I’m not a gamer (though I pretend I am — actual gamers disagree - I am not signing up for esports WC anytime soon) I’ve played Resident Evil and Assassin’s Creed as a kid and watched my friends play Valorant and The last of us. I may not have the stats or trophies, but I do carry the emotional scars (some these stories are so heartbreaking like Ethan Winters) so that should count for something.
And listen — never fear being geeky. Own your geekiness with pride. I certainly do. Own your interests. I do not judge. Unless your interests involve collecting your enemies' hearts in jars of formalin.
Also… you caught me. Yes, those self deprecating jabs of mine — you noticed. It’s odd, speaking to someone who is as perspective as me. Not that I consider myself highly as a worthy scale to compare others. What I meant is other than a few friends that’s not something I’m used to. It’s refreshing… and a little disorienting. But please don’t change how you speak to me. No reigning in needed — not right now. Your compliments have never felt insincere, just... more abundant than I’m used to in the "real world." It’s like arriving in Italy and having strangers shout compliments from balconies — only here (here as in 7cups in general,, not just you).. it’s like that times a hundred.
Phew.... relieved to know there won’t be a dramatic avalanche of cottonwool smashing through my metaphorical window (though, honestly, part of me would’ve found that hilarious). But really — thank you. I’m still trying to get comfortable with being seen without doing the whole vanish-deflect-make-a-joke-and-escape routine.
Your family sounds quietly lovely — like the kind of fire you sit around with your feet tucked under a blanket and someone always passing the snacks. Armour or not, I feel like you’d still be surprisingly huggable (unless you’re really committed to the brooding knight aesthetic — in that case, I respectfully won’t try to hug you through chainmail).
Multiple sisters? That sounds like both a circus and a sanctuary. Are they older than you? I’ve always wanted elder sisters — someone who’d show me eyeliner tricks and scare off boys and lend me books with important emotional warnings like “this one will wreck you in a good way.”
And ooh, nephews! I bet you’re a very cool uncle (uncle, right? I think I’m right — I won’t lie, I’ve misread before — thought Bear was a girl, so I don’t trust my deduction skills anymore) But yeah, your whole vibe screams “trusted adult who gives them secret snacks and good advice without making it weird.”
Now,..your pipe dreams? Chef’s kiss, double encore. Languages, travel, writing... and that novel? Please write it. Even if no one else reads it (though I’m fairly sure they would), write it for yourself. Writing is rebellion. It's healing. It’s how people like us fight the fog. I’m also wildly curious about your characters — I just know they’re layered, slightly sad and secretly hilarious.
And your noble lottery dreams!! — you really are a selfless knight. You want to win millions not to run off to Ibiza, invest in avocados and run a crime empire while quoting The godfather? Unbelievable. (Now I kinda want to ghostwrite that Netflix show)
As for my pipe dreams... some of them do echo yours. I want to travel, meet people, explore cultures, write endlessly (even if it only lives in notebooks and margins) and most of all — collect people and their stories.
Like... my family, even when I argue with them, they’ve lived. My grandparents were walking history books. And my dad — he’s still out there doing meaningful things, big and small. Even my mom and my elder siblings.
So yeah, I want to do something too. I don’t know what shape it’ll take yet — not a huge revolution (but hey, if one happens, I’m not running) — just something that matters. Some kind of ripple, no matter how small.
And I didn’t say any of this to sound noble or woke or vaguely self righteous — I just wanted you to know that my dreams didn’t fall from the sky one morning. And unlike my parents, I am not pursuing greatness because greatness has a way of dimming the goodness in people. I just want to do something good.
So now, Sir Bastion... when that novel does happen, what’s the opening line? Do you have an idea or theme ir genre?
@azurePond
*Elated to have two messages to reply to* Please excuse my belated response. I will reply soon, but for now I thought I would share something which made me smile today.
@BastionKnight 
Salutations Knight, take your time—I'm just glad to hear from you! Thank you for sharing this... This made me smile.. I needed that sky, water and green <3
@azurePond
Greetings Lady Blue,
I thought I would combine my responses into one letter, but with all the attention and enthusiasm of two combined. Very much digging your new profile picture; the fish blending with the background and the cool (both literally and colloquially) colour pallet makes the picture really pop. Is it one of yours?
(Also, just noticed your "quote": Moby Duck, I loved that book...isn't it the one with the three ship mates Costa, Stump, and Thermos....all under the command of Captain Ahahahab?)
I couldn't help but grin at your reflections on my status as a 'trusted adult'. I have always endeavoured to avoid adulthood, and practice it only at great reluctance. My nephews are more like my mates than nephews...but with the added advantage that I can remember when they were in nappies and have a whole host of embarrassing memories filed away that they have long forgotten. As to feeding them snacks...aren't we supposed to do that? The more artificial and sugar filled the better surely? Fill 'em up, shake them, and watch them go! As to giving them advice...if it isn't weird, it probably isn't worth telling them.
I truly love the way you write these letters. Your style is so dynamic. It makes me wonder if that is how you talk. I imagine it must be very comfortable to be in your presence, being able to just enjoy hearing you discuss topic after topic without a lull. Always something new. And with feeling like one is really being talked to and not at. Perhaps though this is not how you are, but rather how you can be when you write? That too is a pleasant thought, for it suggests a lowering of guard and freedom to express honestly and unfiltered.
But on to the things you asked; Yes indeed, I am an uncle. And despite the long hair and lack of stereotypical male interests, (sports, cars, latest tech, body building, & general bragging and one-upmanship about such things,...none of which ever held much appeal to me), I still have the requisite parts to be lumped in with the man crowd.
All but one of my sisters are older than me, though I have to say they have never shown me eyeliner tricks to scare off boys. I feel oddly cheated. *Grins*
I loved your fantasy ideal about my family as all tucked under blankets, cosy and sharey. It is a nice image. My family are very lovely people, with their own quirks. They can be intense some times, but then again, I have long ago built up walls and put on my armour, so I can hardly complain if they rattle the gates now and again. I am no brooding chevalier though. More a crab...all the soft stuff encased in rigid chitin, and side-stepping out of habit. But I think having just sisters probably has helped shape the better bits about me.
*Bows* I am pleased you approve of my pipe dreams. I have to admit I was taken aback about what you wrote about what you think my literary characters are/would be like...'layered, slightly sad and secretly hilarious.' I am not used to someone peeking in my head so accurately, and it is a little unnerving. I am beyond curious as to what made you come to those specific conclusions. Please do tell?
I was smiling all the while as I read, and re-read your letters. Well, apart from the obvious smiling because they are fun and engaging, I was also smiling at the way you kept giving credit to others and anything other than yourself even when explaining about your own qualities. I did wonder at your comments about being seen in a simplified or one dimensional manner. After reading a lot of the things you write, I feel I am on safe ground to suggest that there are no throw-away lines when it comes to your writing. I am so very, very curious...but I worry about prying and unsettling my friend. I guess we have traits in common but I never wish to presume in case I am wrong. In a similiar vein, I picked up on your phrase regarding your parents and greatness. Now I have to admit, your poetry influences my thought processes a lot here so I freely accept that I might be wildly reading into things...however, like I said, I have not known you to write a line which does not have a purpose. A person locked away in a tower of their own design hears someone calling out a song in cipher and recognises that they use the same sheet music. So taking a peek from the window they spy a tower similar to their own, and wave to the person looking back.
As to you wanting to do something good...what do you think you are doing? You ARE doing something good, every day. I didn't take your words as self aggrandisement or an attempt to sound noble. You have always come across as very honest and genuine, and I have never seen you in any other way (so you really do not need to worry about convincing me of it). I think you are cool, and you are a truly decent person. So just keep being you with me. No need to justify, explain, or dissemble...my respect is unwavering.
I take it from you comment about elder siblings that you are maybe the baby (or close to being the littlest) of the pack?
I am sure I am missing things out, but as it reaches 3am my coherency is dipping. What was next? Ah, yes, I did start writing the novel I wanted to do...but a former acquaintance of mine when helping to fix some malware that had hijacked my computer managed to wipe it all. Two years of writing, plus all my notes. (This was before I ever backed anything up). I was too disheartened to try and recreate it. But who knows, the future is unwritten....as is the past too in that particular case *Smiles* The lesson to take away from all of that....write everything down physically and spurn computers for the gremlin infested magical boxes they truly are!
I think it is so wonderful that you see yourself as being a patchwork of the experiences you have gleaned from other people, places, and situations. It is such an inclusive and open-minded world view. I think the Ulysses quote seems very apt indeed for how you seem to be. The world is truly made for someone like you, and I envision that your influence will have far reaching consequences that will continue to enrich us all. So get a move on and start enriching!! We all want to be richified!
What hobbies and habits have I picked up from others? All of them. My love of cooking was inspired by my grand mother and great grandmother. My love for poetry and for costume creation was triggered by my mother and influenced by certain friends at uni. My tastes have all been formed from things i have been introduced to, first by my parents, then by school friends, then uni groups...so I am always very much behind the curve as I start exploring things well and truly after everyone else has long since tired of them. Hmmm, that makes me seem very bland indeed.
I would write more, but I keep falling into micro-naps. (Should really have tried to start writing this earlier in the day). So, I shall come to a close for now.
I hope you are feeling okay, and that everything is now sorted regarding your great aunt. Still sending you a double dose of dazzling delight to drive your determination and deliver delicate dreams when you visit dreamland.
Your faithful friend,
BastionKnight
@BastionKnight Dear Sir Knight,
Thank you for the compliments on my profile picture though I’m afraid the real credit goes to some anonymous Pinterest artist. I’m just a humble art thief with impeccable taste.
Also I must say—it was a bit jarring to hear a knight use the word “digging” and not in the context of burying enemies. (Just kidding—I know you’re a real knight trying to level with me by speaking colloquially. Your attempt has been noted and appreciated * cue curtsey *)
As for Moby Duck—what a classic. Captain Ahahahab still makes me laugh snort. Very unladylike. No regrets.
Your reflections on “adulthood” really resonated. When I was a kid I couldn’t wait to grow up. And now that I have .... I’ve realised that adulting is a Sisyphean nightmare—wash the utensils, cook, eat, wash again, cook, eat, repeat. That’s why we must imagine Sisyphus happy—because his only shot at happiness is zoning out and imagining joy between chores. But I like your version of adulthood better—being best mates with your nephews. I don’t have any nephews but I do have younger siblings and I am absolutely the Cool Sister™.|
You strike me as the kind of uncle every child remembers fondly—both the chaos instigator and the secret keeper. There’s something very reassuring about that balance. Like an adult who still remembers the way to Neverland.
I wish I had an uncle like that. Mine taught me the due process of law for fun (I love him though. I once poured dirty mop water on his head. Good times. I’m still his favourite niece.)
I talk kind of like I write in this letter—less restrained—but I only speak like this with friends and siblings. Not with classmates. So in real life I wouldn’t say I’m “serious but definitely “cordial.” I have a filter on my mouth. That’s what I mean.
Your line—"I still have the requisite parts to be lumped in with the man crowd"—cracked me up. And wow... you have long hair?(you, a historically accurate medieval knight) How do you maintain it? Do you love having it? I have short hair because it’s easy to manage and windproof. But high five to both of us—here we are, defying stereotypes.
Ironically your list of stereotypical male interests matches mine. I love sports—football and tennis especially (might be my toxic competitive trait) Cars? I know literally nothing. I can barely drive. I tell people I don’t have a license because I’m “too good at driving.” Tech? I have a general interest—not deep—but I keep track of it because tech matters a lot in geopolitics. Bodybuilding? No. But I am serious about working out. General bragging and one upmanship? Reserved solely for sibling showdowns.
I’m also extremely jealous that you have older sisters. Ask them to show you eyeliner tricks. We elder sisters are world-weary creatures carrying the weight of the universe on our shoulders—but if asked politely... we will show you. Possibly even with dramatic flair.
As for family—I think I’m a crab too. But more like a hermit crab. I carry home on my back and shift shells when needed.
I think —our true character seeps into our writing whether we want it to or not. That’s why I said you feel “layered, slightly sad, and secretly hilarious.” Those are traits I see in you, and yes, I think we share some of them.
Thank you for saying I’m already doing something good. Thank you so much.
That line you wrote—
“I think you are cool, and you are a truly decent person. So just keep being you with me. No need to justify, explain, or dissemble... my respect is unwavering.”
Instant tears.
Wait, no. I don’t cry easily. Let’s rewrite that—instant sad smile face.
That hit hard. In a good way.
I’m sort of a middle child (the family tree is...complicated—half-siblings, step-siblings, tangled roots) But you know all those middle child memes? The ignored, invisible one? Yeah I broke that curse. I am the middle child with power. Cue evil laugh.
About your lost novel—I’m mourning it anew. Two years of story and soul wiped out by mischievous digital gremlins… I can’t even imagine how disheartening that must have been. But you are a storyteller. And your voice hasn’t dulled in the least. Whatever you write next will carry a kind of depth only time and loss can carve. I hope you do return to the page someday. I’ll be first in line to read it—gremlin-proof goggles ready.
Also “richified”? Is that even a word? Doesn’t matter. I’m stealing it. It’s now part of my vocabulary. May we both be emotionally, intellectually and cosmically richified.
And no—you’re not behind the curve. You’re delightfully unbothered by trends. You discover things only when they’re ripe for you to find them. That’s not blandness. That’s timelessness. That’s sincerity in a world addicted to speed.
Micro naps?? I think you’re sleepdeprived. Don’t stay up late just to write to me. Please rest. You mentioned you’re still recovering—how are you now? What did the doctors say? Do you still have follow-ups? If I may ask—how did the spinal injury happen? Only if you’re comfortable sharing, of course.
Thank you again for your dazzling delight dosage. Thank you for writing.
May the gremlins in your tech devices be forever exorcised.
@BastionKnight Dear Sir Knight,
Thank you for the compliments on my profile picture though I’m afraid the real credit goes to some anonymous Pinterest artist. I’m just a humble art thief with impeccable taste.
Also I must say—it was a bit jarring to hear a knight use the word “digging” and not in the context of burying enemies. (Just kidding—I know you’re a real knight trying to level with me by speaking colloquially. Your attempt has been noted and appreciated * cue curtsey *)
As for Moby Duck—what a classic. Captain Ahahahab still makes me laugh snort. Very unladylike. No regrets.
Your reflections on “adulthood” really resonated. When I was a kid I couldn’t wait to grow up. And now that I have .... I’ve realised that adulting is a Sisyphean nightmare—wash the utensils, cook, eat, wash again, cook, eat, repeat. That’s why we must imagine Sisyphus happy—because his only shot at happiness is zoning out and imagining joy between chores. But I like your version of adulthood better—being best mates with your nephews. I don’t have any nephews but I do have younger siblings and I am absolutely the Cool Sister™.|
You strike me as the kind of uncle every child remembers fondly—both the chaos instigator and the secret keeper. There’s something very reassuring about that balance. Like an adult who still remembers the way to Neverland.
I wish I had an uncle like that. Mine taught me the due process of law for fun (I love him though. I once poured dirty mop water on his head. Good times. I’m still his favourite niece.)
I talk kind of like I write in this letter—less restrained—but I only speak like this with friends and siblings. Not with classmates. So in real life I wouldn’t say I’m “serious but definitely “cordial.” I have a filter on my mouth. That’s what I mean.
Your line—"I still have the requisite parts to be lumped in with the man crowd"—cracked me up. And wow... you have long hair?(you, a historically accurate medieval knight) How do you maintain it? Do you love having it? I have short hair because it’s easy to manage and windproof. But high five to both of us—here we are, defying stereotypes.
Ironically your list of stereotypical male interests matches mine. I love sports—football and tennis especially (might be my toxic competitive trait) Cars? I know literally nothing. I can barely drive. I tell people I don’t have a license because I’m “too good at driving.” Tech? I have a general interest—not deep—but I keep track of it because tech matters a lot in geopolitics. Bodybuilding? No. But I am serious about working out. General bragging and one upmanship? Reserved solely for sibling showdowns.
I’m also extremely jealous that you have older sisters. Ask them to show you eyeliner tricks. We elder sisters are world-weary creatures carrying the weight of the universe on our shoulders—but if asked politely... we will show you. Possibly even with dramatic flair.
As for family—I think I’m a crab too. But more like a hermit crab. I carry home on my back and shift shells when needed.
I think —our true character seeps into our writing whether we want it to or not. That’s why I said you feel “layered, slightly sad, and secretly hilarious.” Those are traits I see in you, and yes, I think we share some of them.
Thank you for saying I’m already doing something good. Thank you so much.
That line you wrote—
“I think you are cool, and you are a truly decent person. So just keep being you with me. No need to justify, explain, or dissemble... my respect is unwavering.”
Instant tears.
Wait, no. I don’t cry easily. Let’s rewrite that—instant sad smile face.
That hit hard. In a good way.
I’m sort of a middle child (the family tree is...complicated—half-siblings, step-siblings, tangled roots) But you know all those middle child memes? The ignored, invisible one? Yeah I broke that curse. I am the middle child with power. Cue evil laugh.
About your lost novel—I’m mourning it anew. Two years of story and soul wiped out by mischievous digital gremlins… I can’t even imagine how disheartening that must have been. But you are a storyteller. And your voice hasn’t dulled in the least. Whatever you write next will carry a kind of depth only time and loss can carve. I hope you do return to the page someday. I’ll be first in line to read it—gremlin-proof goggles ready.
Also “richified”? Is that even a word? Doesn’t matter. I’m stealing it. It’s now part of my vocabulary. May we both be emotionally, intellectually and cosmically richified.
And no—you’re not behind the curve. You’re delightfully unbothered by trends. You discover things only when they’re ripe for you to find them. That’s not blandness. That’s timelessness. That’s sincerity in a world addicted to speed.
Micro naps?? I think you’re sleepdeprived. Don’t stay up late just to write to me. Please rest. You mentioned you’re still recovering—how are you now? What did the doctors say? Do you still have follow-ups? If I may ask—how did the spinal injury happen? Only if you’re comfortable sharing, of course.
Thank you again for your dazzling delight dosage. Thank you for writing.
May the gremlins in your tech devices be forever exorcised.
@BastionKnight
Hey Knight,
I’ll reply to this properly soon, but you asked whether I write my letters the way I speak—more or less, yes. The letters reflect how I talk, just slightly polished since they’re in written form.
If you’re curious, I can show you the difference between how I write casually (like in letters) and how I write in a more academic or formal setting. I’m pasting an essay I once wrote for a college competition. I didn’t end up submitting it—my professor picked another one out of the 3 I wrote—so it’s just been sitting in my Google Docs.
P.S This isn’t me trying to intellectually flex! It’s just academic writing—tighter, more structured. I sound like any other self righteous academic, really. Just thought it might help you recognise my writing style in different contexts.
---
When Prometheus stole fire, he did not gift mankind a mere spark—he handed over transformation. It gave humans control over nature and challenged the monopoly of the divine. But Prometheus was punished eternally—not because the fire was evil, but because power, once given, spreads faster than wisdom can follow. Today, a new fire lies beneath our feet: lithium, cobalt, graphite, nickel, rare earths. They are the mineral syntax of our century. They drive electric dreams and geopolitical nightmares. They are the foundation of climate salvation—and of a new global scramble. And once again, we stand with the flame in our hands, unsure whether we are the givers or the chained.
To unshackle the implications of this mineral fire, this essay traces its transformative arc across five concentric realms of global order. First, we examine how theoretical frameworks—from Realism to Dependency Theory—decode power dynamics inherent in critical mineral supply chains. Second, we contextualize this scramble within the historical patterns of resource statecraft, where salt, gold, and oil once reshaped empires. Third, we map the contemporary fault lines: China’s refining dominance, Western de-risking, and the Global South’s post-colonial renegotiations. Fourth, we confront the dual crises these minerals embody—economic precarity and environmental sacrifice—where "clean energy" masks scarred landscapes. Finally, we advance ethical and policy architectures for a just transition, arguing that recycling, equity-driven governance, and redesigned institutions must dethrone raw power before this fire consumes us. It begins with theory: the clashing interpretations of power, cooperation, and structure that reveal how critical minerals architect—and fracture—the world order.
In international relations theory, the control of critical minerals maps onto power distribution. These theoretical frameworks are not abstract—they dictate whether minerals become tools of cooperation or conflict. Realists see in them a zero-sum game: who controls supply chains, controls leverage. Kenneth Waltz posits that the anarchic nature of international systems compels states to pursue power for survival,[1] a logic reflected in the 2010 Chinese embargo on rare earths to Japan during a maritime dispute—a classic realist maneuver. Liberal theorists, like Robert Keohane, argue for institutional interdependence,[2] suggesting that shared vulnerability in mineral dependency could foster cooperation via regimes and norms, such as the EU’s proposed Critical Raw Materials Act or the G7’s Mineral Security Partnership. Constructivists, echoing Alexander Wendt's idea that "anarchy is what states make of it,"[3] would point to the evolving language of "responsible sourcing" and "just transition" as indicators that identity and global expectations shape state behavior just as much as material interest. Dependency theorists, from Andre Gunder Frank to Immanuel Wallerstein, would argue that the Global South is once again entrapped in extractive roles while the Global North governs the high-value ends of technology and transition.[4]
This is not entirely new. In the history of international relations, critical resources have always reordered power. Salt financed kingdoms; gold underwrote colonial conquests. In the 20th century, oil reshaped alliances and built empires—culminating in wars, coups, and petrodollar diplomacy. The post-WWII era was defined by control over hydrocarbons; the post-COVID world may well be defined by control over cobalt and lithium. History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme - and this time the verse is written in lithium hydroxide. Because control over critical inputs determines not only economic competitiveness but also the capacity to create war, peace or anxiety.
Contemporary international politics reflects this mineral anxiety. China refines over 60% of the world’s lithium, 80% of rare earths, and dominates the midstream value chain.[5] The U.S. is scrambling to de-risk, invoking the Defense Production Act to domesticate supply.[6] The EU is diversifying imports and funding strategic autonomy. In the Global South, countries like Chile and Indonesia are asserting control over raw materials—demanding local value addition, nationalizing mining sectors, or imposing export bans. This is not merely nationalism; it is a form of post-colonial correction. The minerals lie in the periphery, but the profit margins lie in the core. The politics of critical minerals are not just about supply—they are about who writes the rules of extraction, who captures the value, and who bears the economic cost.
Economically, the world is entering a new phase of resource realism. Critical minerals are foundational to green technology, Artificial Intelligence, defense systems, and semiconductors. The International Energy Agency projects that demand for lithium will increase fortyfold by 2040.[7] But supply chains are fragile, extraction is costly, and refining is highly concentrated. Prices are volatile, and most contracts are long-term and opaque. Poor nations export raw ores; rich nations control patents, processing, and market access. Meanwhile, artisanal miners in Congo and salaried engineers in Germany inhabit different economic realities of the same supply chain.The invisible hand of the market seems to have very visible preferences about whose labour it values. Without shared industrial policy, fair pricing, and investment in local beneficiation, the energy transition will replicate the inequalities of the fossil age.
This brings us to the environment—not as a backdrop, but as a victim. Mining is invasive. Cobalt extraction in the DRC has led to soil degradation and toxic water tables.[8] Lithium evaporation in South America depletes freshwater reserves vital for Indigenous pastoralists. Deep-sea mining proposals in the Pacific threaten marine biodiversity that science barely understands. The phrase "clean energy" becomes oxymoronic when the mining process scars ecosystems and violates planetary boundaries. And Ethical sourcing pledges without enforcement are just the mineral world’s version of ‘thoughts and prayers”. What we call "sustainable" must not refer merely to carbon output, but to the entire lifecycle of materials—from mine to market to waste. Green must mean green all the way down.
And way down—hidden like veins beneath skin—run the ethical dilemmas. If our electric cars run on batteries dug up by children, what moral future do we drive toward? If transition minerals are sourced from occupied lands, what sovereignty do we claim to respect? Human rights are not footnotes to decarbonization—they are its litmus test. We cannot fight climate change by enabling mineral neocolonialism. A just transition demands free, prior, and informed consent from affected communities; equitable revenue-sharing mechanisms; the protection of labor rights; and public oversight of transnational mining corporations. Transparency initiatives like the Extractive Industries Transparency Initiative (EITI) and certification schemes modeled on the Kimberley Process must become the norm, not the exception.[9]
Urban mining, for instance, offers an innovative path. Countries like Japan and South Korea are already recovering valuable minerals from electronic waste, reducing dependence on virgin extraction while addressing the parallel crisis of e-waste pollution. Such circular economy practices can be both environmentally restorative and economically efficient. Simultaneously, the creation of strategic stockpiles modeled after the IEA’s oil reserves can help countries stabilize their supply in times of disruption, preventing panic-driven diplomacy and the political weaponization of access.
However, recycling and storage alone are insufficient. Regional refining hubs in the Global South, co-funded by multilateral development banks, can decentralize the monopoly on processing and build domestic value chains. Indigenous governance models, such as those emerging in Bolivia’s lithium initiatives or the community consultations in Canada's Yukon, suggest that consent-based extraction aligned with local values is not only ethical but effective. These can be supported by mandatory ESG compliance frameworks tied to international trade agreements and enforced through mechanisms under the WTO or ILO.[10] Finally, technological sharing—via open-source patents or South-South cooperation—can seed local industrialization, while multilateral platforms like the Minerals Security Partnership must evolve to include producer nations as equal partners, turning extraction into a cooperative venture, not a colonial echo.
And at last, we arrive at synthesis. This story of minerals is not technical—it is existential. It tells us who matters, who decides, and who pays. It holds together realist struggles for control, liberal aspirations for cooperation, structural critiques of inequality, ecological grief, and moral reckoning. Each paragraph—from theory to economy, from politics to ethics—is a different facet of the same mineral, polished by global forces, reflecting power in its rawest form.
So let us return to the myth with which we began. Prometheus brought fire. We now mine a different kind of flame—mineral, geopolitical, and volatile. The gods of today wear suits, not togas. But the punishment is the same: unchecked power burns. Wisdom must walk beside every innovation. A just energy transition is not just about replacing fossil fuels—it is about rethinking who bears the burden of power. If we are to avoid being chained like Prometheus, devoured daily by the very consequences we created, then we must wield this mineral fire with foresight, humility, and justice. . . (I did not add the footnotes and I forgot the title what it was)
@azurePond
Who ARE you!? My goodness, your mind is impressive and so fierce! The style of your essay is very different indeed, but there is the same passion and energy.
That did not read like an academic essay, it felt like (an extremely erudite) speech. Your dramatic flare and poetry crouches inside the lines, but there is also a firebrand rhetoric which demands attention. It is much more forceful than your forum posts, your poetry analysis, and our letters. I was very impressed indeed. And you made the topic so engaging as well, which is pretty amazing considering the subject matter. After all, geopolitics and mineral logistics would not usually be on my top ten of riveting reads.
You puzzle me my friend. All that you have said, and all that you display, why is it then that the world is not at your feet already? Maybe there is something in your affinity for Ghibli...a recognition of the primal/elemental that is ever moving and impossible to constrain for long. You certainly seem like you should be straddling the world between worlds along with similar fantastical beings. Or perhaps that is just the perception of a creature that observes physical laws in play that it cannot possibly comprehend and so attaches subjective meaning to them. Who knows? who cares? It is magical to the beholder either way.
@BastionKnight Wow. I don’t even know how to respond without just quietly combusting into smoke and gratitude.
And yes my academic writing definitely carries a strong literary undercurrent—because beneath it all, I’m a poet.
Oh god... did I torture you with that essay? 🤣 I totally get that geopolitics isn’t everyone’s idea of a good time. But I grew up playing chess in a house where everyone played power moves so ofc I have a traumabonding with geopolitics and economics. It was bound to happen. it would have been more puzzling if I grew up to like geography or veterinary sciences.
I adored your Ghibli metaphor. My love for Ghibli probably does show in my writing. But no, I’m not exactly an idealist and I’m not a realist either. I live in the in-between, somewhere unnamed. I haven’t quite found the word for what I am yet or maybe I’m still shaping it.
As for your question—why isn’t the world at your feet already?—maybe it’s because that’s not really what I’m after...atleast not yet. . That probably sounds like some mystic power move but really I just think I’m more interested in being in conversation with the world, not conquering it.
@azurePond
*Smiles*
Perhaps world at your feet was an imprecise turn of phrase. I didn't mean to suggest a conquering warrior-poet. I meant more like Titania moving amongst the fey and spirits, not in a form of dominion but rather as first amongst the myriad unique beings. Their world bending to accommodate that which they admire from earned respect.
I wanted to quickly reply as I will be on a plane in a few hours time and do not know when I will get a chance to respond.
If it sounds like I am being too gushy, it is unintentional. I am just really impressed. There is also a bit of vicarious pleasure in being friends with someone so talented and yet so decent; I feel a bit like a Roadie to a Rockstar Philanthropist. Your sunshine is very, very pleasant to bask in.
I have more questions and loads I will want to chat with you about, but for now I need to hurry as I leave for the airport very shortly and still have lots I have left to the last minute.
Ciao for now, and looking forward to your next letter.
@BastionKnight
Sir Knight,
No need to apologise, Sir Bastion Knight —I do like the idea of the world at my feet though I don’t practically agree with it. Still, ah, Titania—what a beautiful image. I’ll take that. Thank you.
And no,...you’re not being too gushy at all—though if you were... I’d still forgive it. You’ve somehow managed to strike that rare balance between being deeply kind and sharply observant. If I’m the Rockstar Philanthropist (I am neither though), you’re certainly no mere roadie. You’re the sound engineer—the one who makes sure the words land clearly, who hears the tremble under the melody and adjusts the dials so nothing gets lost in the noise.
Also—sunshine? That’s a first. I’ve been described as a hurricane (category, to be precise) and once, very memorably, someone said, my name like...“Azure is just… very azure.” But rarely something as simple and warm as sunshine. I’ll tuck that into my proverbial coat pocket for rainy days. Thank you.
Safe skies, you. May the cabin pressure be gentle, the turbulence minimal and the view out the window unexpectedly heartwarming.
Ciao, amico mio, travel well,
Lady Azure
@azurePond
Salutations Lady Azure, suzereign of the Tempest,
I just wanted to deliver a brief message to tell you thank you for your letters, and that I intend to reply to them the moment I can. I have managed to get a few moments online and saw that Kiara was in a challenging place at the moment and in need of some immediate support. I did not wish for you to feel your letters were sidelined in importance. Rather it is the case that I want to give them my undivided attention, and would not wish to offer you a composition that is less than they deserve. Did I also spy new poems by you on the forums? (I would hope my most excellent friend would give me the scoop on all releases so I never miss any of their creations). I didn't manage to sleep after all, so if any of my message comes across as gibberish, then I beg your indulgence.
We shall speak soon, but for now, Buenos noches
@BastionKnight
Hey Knight!
I’m really touched by your message—thank you. And please don’t worry for a second. Kiara needed you and you were there. I’ve been talking to her too.
I know you’ll write when you’re ready and I’d always rather wait for your whole-heart than half-thought.
I hope your journey went ok, especially considering you just had surgery and all. Sending you anti-jetlag spray and an extra warm vibes boost to tackle whatever the world throws your way.
Talk soon. Take care!
Just texting you here before I forget again—it’s about Ben 10. So... you love Lovecraft right? I was rewatching Ben 10 and realized it actually has a bunch of Lovecraftian references. There’s literally a supervillain named Dagon in it and a few others too. I keep meaning to mention this in every letter then totally blank. Anyway... fun fact!
Hey Knight, I will be taking a break..again...will be back soon..Take care!
@azurePond
Hello AzurePond, thank you for the advanced notice. I hope everything is okay. My thoughts are with you and I will happily greet you once you return.
Take care, and we shall speak again in due course.
@BastionKnight Hey Knight! I’m back. How’s your week been? How’s your health—are you recuperating well? Also I just wanted to tell you… I met a friend after a long time, and I told them that you once said, “I’m already doing something good.”
@azurePond
Hello my dear friend,
I think it is so lovely that you remembered something I said to you and that it mean enough for you to share it with a friend. I meant every word. It makes me shiver with pride that you wanted to share that conversation tidbit with me, so I thank you. I know I have not been able to respond properly to your letters nor make comments on your poem(s), (you did post something didn't you? I am not just imagining it? Or maybe I am and it is just wishful thinking on my part). I am still visiting family at the moment and so do not have access to my computer and the WiFi is very sporadic in this rural area and responding on my phone is an excercise in frustration. But I promise to make up for it once I return after the 27th.
I have been in both the ocean and a vast saltwater lagoon several times in the last week, and each time I thought about how perfectly you would have been able to put the things I saw to verse. Being able to start sink into the depths on a single breath after so long away from water was so thrilling. Plus I have had a new life experience...being stung by a jellyfish. Luckily it got me on my leg which is more affected by nerve damage so the discomfort was reduced, but it certainly gave the day a frisson of excitement.
I am moving better (thus the swimming) and walking closer to normal (albeit not too far or too long, but I keep pushing to see how far I can manage).
Your presence was certainly missed in your absence. How have you been? I hope that your time away was due to commitments and not something more unpleasant for you. But if that was the case, I would like to think the welcoming embrace of your friends and fans will soothe away whatever ails you and brings back your smiles.
I look forward to hearing from you Lady Lillypad.
@BastionKnight
Salutations Sir Knight,
Of course, I like talking about good deeds. When people give you wisdom, you should pass it on. I was kind of using your words to uplift another person — I told them, "A friend of mine once said... when I told them I wanted to do something good, they replied, 'You already are doing something good.'"
So I wanted to tell them the same: "You’re already doing something good."
Basically, trickle down encouragement. So thank you for saying that.
Also, I totally get how life gets busy. I’m probably the last person on earth who’d grill someone for not replying to my texts — especially since I go radio silent all the time. And you always let me know when you’re busy, as I do, so that’s completely fine with me.
Yes, I did post some poems. But I don’t know how I feel about those now.
Have I told you this before?... umm… I can’t re-read my poems after posting them. It makes me feel cringe — well, not exactly cringe ( I am not embarrassed or anything) but I just can’t relate to them after they’re out there. Like I’m not the same person anymore. And I will be like - What was I thinking or that not really how I should have portrayed that. I become a critical stranger to my poems because I feel dissociated from that emotion. Ah well… you can’t step into the same river twice.Oh... your family’s from a rural area? I guess we have that in common too. Remember when I told you about my grandfather’s house — the one in a rural area? Farms, village roads, ponds, woods... It’s like an ode to solitude on paper, except it’s weirdly loud. There are hospitals, shopping complexes, cars — not your typical rural place. Not that I’m saying rural areas are underdeveloped, it’s just — I’ve travelled to places where even basic water and sanitation aren’t available. So comparatively, I’d say my grandfather’s place is more semi-urban.
Thank you for the promise — I’ll hold you to that… lightly, no pressure.
Also... 27? That’s a perfect cube. Cube of 3. Beautiful number (even though I hate math)
I’m really glad to hear you’re moving better. And swimming — that’s wonderful. Are you supposed to swim after surgery though? Do you have someone keeping an eye on you while you’re in the water? I probably shouldn’t be this nosy but I really am glad to know you’re recuperating. Push yourself, yes — just don’t strain. I am glad that you have your family with you now. I hope you got to meet your nephews.
Thank you for saying you missed my presence (how do people even reply to that? lol) Well — I missed your presence too.
I’ve been okay. I could be better, but mostly just tired.
Yes, my time away was because of commitments. My family is renovating the family house for an event next month. Not like I was needed or anything but my aunt said she was going to check on things, and my dad — who is not a control freak at all — was like “You know what, Azure’s doing NOTHING, she can go too.”
And that’s how I ended up there.
It was good though — I met a few old friends. I didn’t really have much to do just… idk “haunt the graves” (we have a family graveyard nearby) sit on the graves and imagine myself as a ghost in the POEms.
It wasn’t unpleasant and I did manage to convince the event management lady to include certain flowers that look great on the tables. My dad hates those flowers so… a win. (At least I didn’t pick anything he’s allergic to. Bless my heart.)
My aunt’s a cool lady — super efficient. I basically became her to-do list organiser for the week. She paid me in food and shopping so I’m happy. She’s the kind of woman where you go to the mall, pick up a mango, and suddenly she’s bought you a whole crate of them. She can be a little Machiavellian when it comes to my dad — like “What’s he up to? What’s the weather like over there?”
And I’m like "Bold of you to assume I know anything about meteorology — because you’re right. Now, can I interest you in an explanation of how a weakening polar vortex causes snowstorms in North America? No? Then thank you for the mangoes."
Also.... “welcoming embrace of friends and fans”😭 — oh my god. You make me feel like a rockstar.
I’m not that cool… but thank you.
Thank you, Knight. 🫡
See you soon
Lady Lillypad
@azurePond
You ARE that cool! Never let anyone make you believe it is not so.
I have been re-reading some of your past letters (as I know I have much I want to reply to and don't want to forget anything), and each time they fill me with such joy and capture my interest anew. I adore the way you write, and the snapshot of how your mind works that your writing reveals.
That said, I also do not want you to feel that I am missing the undercurrents of some of the things you say. Your energetic prose and upbeat demeanour is not the only thing that comes across. It does not pass without note that things might be challenging sometimes in the world of AzurePond. Even if I do not comment on it straight away, it does not mean I do not wonder what might be happening. You are thought about my friend. When you speak about your family, it sounds complex (aren't many families I suppose), and I wonder if Lady Azure wears her force of nature veil in a similar way that others don masks or helmets.
I cannot help but smile when I read your letters, even when I suspect there might be tougher subject matter underneath...you are just too good a raconteur. But I hope you know that this Knight will be happy to share your company even when you are not smiling or raging riotously right through the tumultuous days, delivering daringly charming comforting calm, effortlessly (effulgent even!), and altogether artisticly, your yarns yield simple satisfied smiles.
I will write more, I promise. Until I can (and just to reassure you, replying to you is never relegated in priority no matter how busy I am), I am wishing that the world treats you kindly and with as much enthusiasm as the pleasure you impart to others.
Hasta pronto
@BastionKnight
📜 Hear ye, Hear ye!
Let it be known across realms far and wide —
Presenting the ever-valiant, silver-tongued chronicler of courage and quirk,
Ser Bastion Knight,
Bearer of Letters from the Lilypad and the Lance,
Wielder of wit, wisdom, and wild metaphors
Stand aside, common doubts — for he declares with righteous flair:
“You ARE that cool!”
That means so much to me, truly. Knowing that my words bring you joy and hold your interest even on a second read —there’s no greater compliment. Thank you for taking the time to revisit my letters and for sharing that with me. I’m really looking forward to hearing your thoughts whenever you feel like replying, but no rush—just knowing my words meant something is enough.
Umm… full disclaimer, that last letter was written under the influence of jetlag, zero sleep, and a questionable amount of coffee. I’m not exactly embarrassed but also kind of mortified now reading back the passive-aggressive undertones. And I know you probably know exactly the feeling I’m drowning in right now—which somehow makes me feel both better and worse.
Okay.
Moving on….🧍♀️
🌊⛅
🤿🏊♀️💦
👣🚶♀️🌳🌲
🥾🧍♀️⛰️🌄
🌲🌀🌿🧍♀️🛤️
🏡 🧍♀️🪟🪴
🧍♀️ 🪑💻
Yeah, it's been a difficult week. Not just because of family stuff. I have insomnia, and when sleep goes missing, so does my ability to tolerate, well, everything. I sort of revert to my default setting, which is… rage. Not fiery, outward rage—more like a general intolerance toward life, people, noise, expectations, even my own thoughts.
And families—Mine is what happens when genetically-linked individuals are thrown together without the essential ingredients that actually make a family a family. Things like warmth. Or I don’t want to say love, because we do love each other. Just… in our own weird, warped, terms. I guess what I mean is, we care about each other because we’re family—not necessarily in the way one person might care about another as a person.
I don’t know if that even makes sense. But you’re good with nuance, so I’m trusting you’ll catch the thread. Like, you’d probably really like my dad if you met him—as an individual. You just probably wouldn’t like him much as my father.
If you get it, you get it.
Hasta pronto Knight!
PS : I’m sincerely smitten with the splendid style of your sweetly-stitched sentences — those lovely, lilting lines, luxuriously laced in artful alliteration.
Your friend,
azurePond
@azurePond
Hello my dear friend, Lady Lillypad.
I have not responded sooner, not because I have not seen your post, but because the moment I check a post and my internet connection drops, it disappears from my list of messages. I wanted my response to be fitting to the amount of effort and time your letter truly deserves, and trying to do that with my phone on a shaky connection just doesn't cut the mustard.
I have revised your last letter several times, and rue the fact that I am not able to do it justice just yet. I even avoided giving a heart before now in case you thought I was flippantly passing it over. (I may be over explaining, but I wanted you to know how much I consider, enjoy, and appreciate your correspondence. I am not too busy, just at the mercy of tech (or lack of it)).
It is frustrating that I cannot have your letter up at the same time as I am writing to you, as I want to give as diligent a reply as your letter was thorough and expansive...(Perhaps that should prod me to train my memory capacity more...bad BK).
I hate to sound like a broken record but I promise I am going to get back to you about aaaaaaalllll the bits I am failing to respond to just yet. Your words are not being casually read over, nor is anything being flippantly passed by.
I am going to have another read of your letters again (I have been doing it whenever I get a chance) so I hope you will forgive me if another rambling reply comes on the back of this one.
Ciao for now Suzereign of Soothing Blue,
Your friend, Bastion knight.
@azurePond
Aha, I have figured out how to do it (this just goes to show how amazingly out of sync I am with tech. Anything beyond the iron age and I am like a babe in the jungle,...except even Mowgli or Tarzan would look askance and would probably tut at how long it takes me to adapt). But at long last I have found out what every other human being with a phone already knows...how to have the two pages you want to view up at once.
Well, with my moment of triumph now over, I shall endeavour to get into the meat of my discourse;
Let me first begin by thanking you for heaping such generous praise on me. It is not deserved, but that doesn't stop me feeling elated by it. Especially when it is delivered by such a talented wordsmith. I must reiterate, you ARE that cool, and much more beyond that too. I am confident that in your wisdom you know that it is meant and no mere platitude. And it is not an absence of wanting to reply hindering me, it is purely logistical. The desire is there but the capacity is not equal. (Again, probably emphasising a point too much and flogging it needlessly, but it can be hard to convey sincerity through the medium of text, and I earnestly want you to know you are important and not ever an after-thought).
So, yes indeedy. Yupyup, I fully understand that feeling of mortification. I think we are sympatico in many areas, so I empathise completely and therefore hope that you can trust me when I say, you truly have no reason to feel that sensation with me. In fact, such outburst of honest reflections and emotion led speech are something I greatly admire. I find it empowered in a way I could never be, so I salute you. I did not take your words as trying to justify, (as you have always come across as far too astute and self aware to need to do that), but it was instead an explanation. I appreciate greatly the insight, as I keenly want to know what is going on in the Great poet's life, but you do not need to do that with me. It is very endearing that you seem to feel that an explanation was necessary, as if somehow it was a blip in AzurePond's modus operandi, but I did not see it that way. I only saw truthful snippets from a very clever and usually guarded lady. As such, I felt privileged.
I loved the emoji journey. I am still smiling about it. It felt like a half self conscious attempt to diffuse tension, as well as being fun and quirky in and of itself. I thought it was incredibly sweet (hope that did not sound too saccharin, but sometimes it is hard to adequately put a feeling into simple terms). If however, it was just absent minded bashing out of random pleasing pictographs, feel free to laugh at my human foible of finding patterns where none exist.
*Comforts you..not because I think you need it, but because it is difficult for me not to wish to convey it when I can see a person having undeserved challenges* I can appreciate how insomnia doubles down on the exacerbating nature of things which otherwise might just be irritations. If lullabies could be conveyed by text, I would send them by the bucketload.
I'm regards to what you said about your family...it made perfect sense, and your feelings on the matter came across clearly. It seems such a cosmic injustice that someone so in tune with the melody of the emotional world is not nurtured in the way that seems deserved and warranted. I hope that did not come across as being a judgement about your family, as that was not my intention. Rather, it is supposed to reflect that I see where something hurts when it should not. Hmmm, I think I am being very unclear...is hurt the right term? You struck the right chord with the term nuance. The comment about your father for example...I believe I do understand, so perhaps it is just my limited capacity to explain myself.
I am hovering and self editing with each line; the urge to show solidarity is conflicted by the worry that such reflections might pick at things which cause discomfort to the person one is trying to soothe and reassure. It is my fondest hope that you are reading these lines in a bemused state and shaking your head at how much a person can project when they pick up on a thread and run with it...or, if it has not been all wildly off target, that you feel that someone comprehends (albeit in a possibly limited and facile measure) and wishes you had more/better/kinder.
I am sure I shall cringe at many of the things I have now written. Just as you pour out everything into a poem and then find it hard to revisit without a (similar?) pang, so too do I cover my own eyes in embarrassment at words conveyed when the witching hour is nigh, and sleep has been postponed (I also blame the sweltering heat, so will claim temporary temperature induced jelly brain for anything that sets off an inward groan).
Anywho, this was only meant to be a quick reply about some of the stuff from your last letter, and the proper reply to Eeeeeeverything else will come in due course. For now I shall bid you Buenas noches, and wish you pleasant dreams.
Your friend, BastionKnight.
@BastionKnight
Greetings Sir Versa-lot,
I think this is what happens when two mirrors try to communicate — we reflect each other’s energy, tread carefully to avoid misunderstandings, and try to reassure the other- I see you, I respect you, I care about you.
And just to clarify — that wasn’t a negative observation. I understand the dilemma you’re navigating because it mirrors my own in many ways. No worries at all — I know your intentions and actions are genuine and I never mind late replies.
You’re doing justice to my letters.... even if — like me — you measure “justice” in a way that feels heavier on the recipient’s side. You even outdid yourself by sending me two letters. I’m genuinely touched. Lately, life has been offering me little blessings — your letters being one of them. I even got a message of appreciation on 7cups from a “secret friend” and now I just feel quietly grateful for everyone around me.
I’m also delighted that you discovered the magic of split screen view in the Techdom — a true gift from the tech gods! If you’re using a tablet then you can view up to four tabs at once. It’s a lifesaver during writing projects.
I’m not especially tech savvy either but I’ve picked up a few things front end and some back-end stuf too— mostly from my sister and some techie friends. And don’t worry — soon you’ll just be able to ask an AI robot “Hey, make a split screen" and voilà.
Also... that praise I gave you? 100% deserved. Read that again and please feel entirely free to feel elated by it.
I completely understand the technical difficulties you’re facing — tbh I was only expecting a reply around the 27th so receiving 2 letters earlier made me feel elated. But sincerely... please don’t be hard on yourself. I really do understand.
And that explanation you gave — it wasn’t too much. Just a rare glimpse into your workings and I appreciated it deeply. Thank you for saying it felt like a privilege.
Oh — the emoji journey? That was my attempt at tension diffusion! And no it wasn’t absent minded at all. I very much did imagine myself scaling mountains, swimming oceans, wandering jungles and finally reaching my cozy cave with a laptop. I’m glad you found it amusing and not lame.
Your comforting gesture meant a lot. And the line — “If lullabies could be conveyed by text I’d send them in bucketloads” — made me laugh and feel sad in a good way. Though tbh, my lullabies these days don’t have words anymore — I sleep to whale sounds. Which, when you think about it, is unintentionally hilarious.
Like.... what if I’m dozing off to a whale ranting “D@mn hoomans, now they’re eavesdropping on us too. I can’t even talk to my wife in peace!”
Also your words never felt judgmental. Just honest, thoughtful observations. And I’m someone who can accept those — especially when it comes to my family. I just don’t like sounding like I’m complaining about them. It doesn’t feel like good manners. That’s why I phrase things carefully — I’m not trying to defend them but I also don’t want to throw them under the bus, yk?
Please don’t worry about self editing. You understood the thread perfectly — you weren’t off track at all.
And once again — don’t lose sleep over my letters. Take care of you, Knight. I sometimes forget you’re still recovering, and I want to gently remind you — please go easy on yourself.
I know if you’re anything like me... “resting” can feel like being lazy or unproductive but it’s not. Rest isn’t the enemy. Rest is what builds strength. And you deserve it.
I also recently read your poem “Living” and didn’t write much at the time because... well… I’d already sent you a flood of thoughts and I didn’t want to make you look like Kafka’s Poseidon on the 27th when you open our chats😅 But I’ll share this now — and if I’m way off... feel free to laugh it off.
To me.. “Living” felt like it came from the quiet, complex place of recovery. I imagine the surgery took a real toll — which makes sense because surgeries are serious... unless you’re like my mother who seems to return from them with even more wicked energy😂
But I got the sense that part of what’s hard for you in recovery is the dependence. You don’t want to lean on people. I relate to that. And from what you wrote — the themes of being seen, of ovation — I sensed that maybe in your world, whether it’s your job or family or social life, you are seen a lot.
And maybe you don’t want to be seen as “weak.” I’m not saying you’re a rockstar or a sportsperson with millions of fans (although maybe you are 👀..OMG Knight you are Lionel Messi ...jk), but perhaps you’re a teacher or a coach or someone who holds the structure together — the “head” or “backbone” of the household. And so when you falter, it feels like the whole system notices. That’s a hard place to be. But Knight — it’s okay. You came back from a literal knife. That was a brave crusade. The scars prove it.
You’re not weak.
You’re healing.
You’re regaining strength.
And that is a sign of immense courage.
"Upwards, onwards, effort spent and with each trial — renew
We will treat you kindly and with patience, as you do for us too"
Take care of yourself.
Love you.
Your friend,
Lady LillyPad 💌
@azurePond
Just a very brief salutation to say you are very much not forgotten. I want to set aside enough time to properly respond as I had promised, and the few days I have been back home has not given me much in the way of uninterrupted free time yet.
Just did not want you to think you are an afterthought. Far from it. I have been looking forward to the chance to settle down to a proper reply, and will do so very soon.
You have been very patient, and I thank you for that.
We shall speak anon.
Your friend,
BastionKnight.
@BastionKnight 
I know, Knight. I know you and it is okay. Fret not, my Knight in shining armour.
We shall speak soon <3
@azurePond
Greetings Lady Lillypad, luminescent luminary of loch, lake, and lagoon,
I at long last have managed to get some uninterrupted time to settle down before the keys and type out a letter. Thank you for being so patient.
Having now had the opportunity to read your poems, I see you have been a very busy lady. I was awestruck, intrigued, and also unsettled. There was a degree of rawness that made me berate myself for not seeing them sooner and responding at the time. It felt like some of the usual filters had been lowered and the subtext was pushing at the gossamer thin skin of the metaphors, their shape manifesting through the drum taught skein and threatening to tear it. It was incredibly moving, but also engendered a protective concern for my friend. I did not want to reply just yet to them, as I think they all deserve significant attention on each, and I was worried that making any comments might seem trite. Or worse still, I might get caught up in their melancholic beauty and go off on a tangent about the myriad details which fascinated me, and in that enthusiastic rush, momentarily forget about the feelings which spawned the poems.
However, before I start sounding too maudlin, I did heed that you said you feel a certain emotional disconnect once a poem is written down. Your explanation was eloquent, but it does make me wonder if that slight 'cringe but not really cringe' sensation is not entirely a divorce from the moment of creation. Perhaps it is projection on my part of the image I have of you, but it does make me ponder if maybe such feelings are the defence of a sensitive but fiendishly intelligent individual. Rationality and emotion colliding, and trying for distance to protect the self. You portray such poise and dynamism, yet you often write words of stillness and/or stagnation. I imagine it must be frequently difficult to have such inner fire as well as a mind so sharp that it cuts through many of the comforting cushions that those of us less burdened by your level of erudition pad out our thoughts with. This is not meant to be a ego propping comment, but rather I hope that it makes you feel that someone sees you. Hmmm, re-reading that embarrasses me, because I anticipate being wrong and looking foolish. But I shall resist the urge to delete and self edit on the slim chance that I am close to something resembling the truth.
You say one cannot step into the same river twice. Heraclitus may have been very correct indeed. I think maybe some of us wade into the water and search it in vain to find that same river, and try to catch it with a net so we can examine the flow for remnants. Maybe you are just wiser and sit on the bank and record the essence you remember...but unless my eyes deceive me, I think I spot that your shoes are wet too. *Smiles*
And now to a non sequitur. My family is not originally from a rural area (we originally hail from the concrete jungles of Cityopia), but my parents moved to a different country and to a very, very rural region. Arid grasslands and low mountains, deep blue waters, balmy flatlands of cactus and reed...and a paucity of internet connection and no sewer access. My later childhood was spent in a very rustic region, with miles and miles of farmland, heath clad dunes and woodland. Luckily, where I am now has a happy medium of being close enough to urban advantages whilst still having the 'wild' on my doorstep.
(I keep on coming across little comments and asides you make during your letters and they make me smile anew each time. You truly are delightful to read)
So, was I supposed to be swimming....yes in theory. Sooooo, in a pool, with careful and controlled movements...yupyup, check. Totally allowed at this stage. My surgery wound is very much healed over (though the scar will probably take a long while to fade...at the moment it looks like I zip up at the back *grins*). As such, I just did a bit of creative deductive reasoning...the ocean is just like a pool but on a bigger scale...and if I could make it into the water and past any obstacles, surely that meant I was given implied permission. Ok, i admit it...I had just been away from the water too long and could not resist. Some of my family did come in with me at first, but I think their patience for the wonders of the deep blue is not the same as my enthusiasm, so there was a few times i was out on my own. Which too was lucky, because it meant no-one to tell me off when I would sink beneath the surface and glide to the bottom. Oh the bliss of sweeping silently over fields of green weed, anemones, urchins, and fish speckled rock formations! It felt wonderful getting back there. The buoyancy supporting my weight and the cold of the deeper water soothing my spine and legs. Holding ones breath as you plunge to the bottom with only the faintest kicks of fins, and then drifting. Rolling upside-down to look back up to the surface and the sunlight far above, and delaying the moment of ascent beyond the insistent urge to breath grows too demanding. Pushing aside the faint panic before rising and bursting back into fresh air again. I missed it for too long. Oh, I cannot remember if I mentioned it or not, but I had a new life experience too...my first couple of jellyfish stings. I think they were from Pelagia Nocticula from what I observed of the beasty, and luckily were both on my leg which has limited sensation (the first sting was several tentacles, but the second one a few days later was when I brushed against the bell of the thing, so did not sting as much). I had spotted a couple of larger ones of different species in deeper water, which always gets my heart fluttering with a thrill of fear. And sooooo many pretty fish. (By the way, I did not take any of your questions as being nosey...It was all taken as general inquisitiveness and care....and it made me feel very good indeed).
Anywho, enough boring you on such details. Onwards!
So, I hope you do not feel affronted if I ask about things with you and your family. It sounds complex, and I truly do comprehend that feeling of not wanting to complain about ones family, or even entertain the idea of complaining. You described it perfectly and I fully empathise with your position. I thought it rather telling that you mention that I might like your father as a person but perhaps not as a father. Families can be difficult. I get the impression that a lot of pressure is put on you, and maybe not much demonstrable love. That is heart-breaking. Are the cruel mother figure and distant, demanding father figure from your poems drawing a lot from how you are treated? I apologise, that is an incredibly rude thing for me to ask. I did not delete the question, not because I seek an answer, but just so you get a glimpse of my thoughts and hopefully feel the solidarity I wish to convey.
It is I think perhaps a curse of your capable middle-child firebrand persona, that others see the passion and the brilliant mind and then fall into a lazy assumption that you can handle anything and everything. Maybe not treating you as fairly or as kindly as they should. I hope your siblings at least rally around their sister, even if/when she outcompetes them.
I really smiled at your thought of me as perhaps a coach or teacher. AND I was again a little spooked when you read parts of my personality which I do not voice to others. Though I am no educator or instructor, you are spot on when you surmise that I do not lean on others and feel like a failure if I am not the strong centre column. Your analysis of my poem 'Living' sent little shivers down my spine....(or maybe that was errant electrical signals...who can say?). My thoughts went back over and over on the lines you wrote:
I think this is what happens when two mirrors try to communicate — we reflect each other’s energy, tread carefully to avoid misunderstandings, and try to reassure the other
That made me feel such tremendous kinship, and...hmmm, not sure of a precise enough word for the feeling...gratitude is the closest approximation I can use to describe it.
Well it has been 3 hours now of writing. I appreciate it seems very little script for so long, but my self editing inner gremlin rarely lets me keep most of what I write. Plus I freely admit to getting side-tracked by re-reading your letters and poems. I am sure that after I click send there will be the inevitable rush of "drat, I meant to say that" and "I completely forgot to bring up that", not to mention the "proof read you fool, proof read!!! gah, another typo/spelling mistake", as well as a possible "why do skittles taste so fruity and why does no fruit taste of skittles!?". But ah well, that is the problem of wearing armour twenty-four hours a day...the sounds rattle around inside, echo, distort, and wind up reverberating out from a knee or elbow joint.
I hope some of this has amused, or at least staved off boredom for a moment or two.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Love you too my friend.
Your faithfully,
The Kinigit who may or may not possibly say Neee.
@BastionKnight
Greetings, Sir Knight,
Hey Knight, I wasn’t spiraling.
@azurePond
Fondest greetings to you Lady Lillypad,
Thank you for your latest letter, it had me smiling widely and often. I am surprised to my very core to hear that the veritable lady of the lake is not a swimmer and even a little afeared of the great big blue. But I suppose one need not necessarily venture into the watery realm to hold suzerainty over it.
Your compliments flatter me very much. And because I hold your writing in such high regard, when you praise elements of my own it means a great deal to me. I do not feel I deserve it, but that does not diminish the warm, fuzzy feeling it creates.
So, spiralling but not. *Smiles gently*. I am glad that Kiara and others have helped you refine your toolset for dealing with any tribulations you might face, and I am proud of you. It is heartening to hear you state that you feel you handled things well. As to people liking your poems, was there any ever any doubt they would? Your talent and craftsmanship always manages to strike tones that make your pieces moving and relatable. We are lucky to have you to give voice to things we might not be able to truly express of even consciously recognise for ourselves. I am sure that many of us find parts or ourselves reflected in the art you create. So kudos to you. (And I want to reassure you that I never feel pressurised to comment on your poems. It is part statement of admiration, part literary nod of respect. If anything, it is an honour to be able to directly respond to one of my favourite writers AND be lucky enough to get replies. See, it pleases me to do it...no pressure or stress at all).
"Thank you, Knight. You really are a knight." *Bows humbly* At your service, my friend. Of course I can rationalise that you are a capable person who no doubt does not need an external aegis, but that doesn't stop the heart from saying "Look out for her, be vigilant". Just as every problem is a nail to a hammer, so too is every sigh a call for succour to a knight. Which is why knights frequently get thrown out of libraries...stifled yawns sound an awful lot like wistful sighs when you are wearing a helmet...and few appreciate the clanky disturbance that inevitably ensues.
But yeah, I feel protective towards you. Not in an overbearing way, but because I recognise the great capacity you have for emotion, and I know how fragile that can potentially make a person. Hmm, that doesn't sound right in written out compared to in my head. It is not meant to suggest any weakness, but rather that how you express emotion so keenly shows how deeply and thoroughly you can feel things, and THAT is something important to defend. I am going to stop over-explaining as I doubt it does my position any favours. In simpler terms...I like you...I consider you a friend whom I admire and respect...I always want my friend to be happy...so I take heed and wish to act to support that happiness and dispel less pleasant feelings for you.
I think you have such a healthy and astute attitude towards things. You certainly seem to have a level of self awareness that is uncommon. I couldn't help but smile as I read through your explanation about your coping mechanisms. I could well imagine you delivering those lines in an animated fashion, perhaps even rattled off faster than breath can catch up with. It is very endearing but also makes one feel a great deal of empathy towards you. You do not need to be self effacing with me.
"I am a contradiction—fiery and freezing. There’s a war inside me: a high functioning brain and a deeply emotional heart. It’s exhausting being me. But maybe that’s just the quintessential human condition. Everyone’s exhausted in the grand performance of life."
I could have just hugged you then and there; honesty and frankness that I would not have the courage to display, but then quickly dismissing and marginalising your own experience by the suggestion that it is probably just the same for everyone else. I get the impression that those cogs never truly stop or slow down, and your impressive intellect might sometimes be a daunting adversary to itself. I sincerely hope that you do not rein in any of these moments of sharing. I appreciate them very much and would hate to think you ever stymied your flow because of a misconception that it was unwanted.
Which brings me on to another related topic. I do not get spooked my friend, and certainly not when it is about things important to a person I hold in high regard. I hope you can feel you can discuss anything you would wish to with me. I need no soft door, I assure you. It broke my heart a little when you describe how your father loves you but doesn't like you. No child, no matter if aged 2 or 102 should be made to feel that they are disliked by a parent. But I understand that family dynamics are complicated. I liked your comparison with The Originals (I am aware of the series even though I have not seen it myself. Plus when you mentioned it I had visions of the emotional tension in the series The Fall of the House of Usher (if you have not seen it, it is well worth a watch for the emotional interplay as well as the homage and reinvention of Poe's iconic poems...but I digress). My own forays into the vampire genre have so far been more limited to True Blood and What we do in the Shadows).
A common enemy...an unnamed mystery friend that you aunt spoke of...you pique my curiosity with two brief lines. I would very much like to know more, but if these are taboo topics you have but to say and I would mention them no more.
Again, you keep making me smile. First your angel comment, and then your thoughtful wish for my surgery scar to fade. You are so sweet. As to the scar, its fading is more an indication to me of how quickly it is healing. I am not very fussed about having another scar; it can join the other merry band that decorate bits of me in living history.
@BastionKnight
Okay. I hope you had food and was not starving. *serious face ..and definitely not smiling *
.
>
(I know it means - In his house at r’lyeh, dead cthulhu waits dreaming.)
@azurePond
Salutations Lady Lillypad, poignant pond poet-professor
Avoided baits? *Smiles innocently*
I am sorry that you have had that level of pain in your life and that it has tainted your relationship to water, but I can thoroughly understand your reserved stance towards it. It did not escape notice that you approached this part of your story first with a jocular reference to Pride and Prejudice, spoke of yourself in third person, and then ended with a mention of others in a positive light (part deflection, part not wanting to sound damaged maybe?). It is hard being vulnerable is it not? You do it with wit and in an entertaining way. But I hope you know that doesn't mean I take what you say lightly.
Do I love fishing? *Pretends not to notice the change of topic* Not so much. My dad took me quite a few times when I was younger, but I did not have the stomach for it. I could not stand the suffering of another creature, be it the bait or the fish. I used to pretend to bait my line when my dad made me do it myself and cast an empty hook. The few times I actually caught something I felt so guilty that I could not take any pleasure in eating it. Which means I probably should be a vegetarian....however, I am a dedicated carnivore. A little Hypocritical right? I do my best to make sure what I eat is as ethical as possible (so no foie gras, no freshly boiled lobster, no ortolan bunting, no ikizukuri, no turtle or shark fin soup.....and thus probably another reason I never get invited to posh dinner parties (well, that and my habit of eating with my paws, scratching the furniture, and drinking from the fountains)). Do you fish or hunt? (Do not worry, I do not make any moral judgement about it. I can understand why people do engage in it, I just choose not to do it myself).
You deserve praise. Adjournment sine die. *Smiles* Laus non mihi, sed tibi, cuius humanitas me amplius ornat quam merita mea.
I understand the not hugging thing completely. BastionKnight is also physically very reserved (I am not sure if you had noted that he also refrains from even writing hugs, and never flippantly). He had a long time of avoiding all physical contact from others (even from family). Thus I can empathise, and appreciate all the more keenly the invitation to deliver virtual ones.
You really do not have to keep thanking me for just telling you true things I have observed of you/about you. It makes me smile how polite you are (and that is a trait I greatly respect). Also, there is no need to thank me for offering to be there for you should you ever need it...that is what friends do. But I am still very glad to hear that you intend to take advantage of the offer in the future. And I appreciate very much the reciprocated offer. *Bows humbly to my friend*
*Smiles* Indeed, I admit that guile is not one of my strengths. I do not think that you are my obvious or any less subtle, but rather you have a forthrightness that seems driven by honest curiosity without agenda. It is very endearing, and reminds me a lot of how we all used to behave when very, very young. It is a shame I think that with growing wisdom there is often a loss of naivety. I pine for that sort of innocence sometimes, and think it is sad that a naïve perspective is so frequently seen as a flaw. Is that a foolish view?
No, not even Caramel matcha latte frappes have the power to spook BastionKnight. So anything you ever wish to share with me will never drive me to flight. Before you get any false impression of machismo, or imagine that BK adds piranha and rabid tigers to his garden to give it a frisson of excitement, I am not without fear. There are things that scare me. But I am not unsettled by truth and honesty.
*Was not even aware of Bungou Stray Dogs but has decided to see if my library has any copies*
Nothing wrong with being a fan of Twilight, the franchise owes a lot to fans. Does it matter if the films were not the epitome of cultural creation? You liked them and that is all that matters. If they entertained, or made you feel good, or inspired you...then they have merit.......and sparkly vampires.
No mystery in a poet being fed by a lady (called Aunt) in a patriarch's manse whilst he is preoccupied, and the lady is sent messages of merriment and mirth from her distant best friend!? It has all the hallmarks of a fairy-tale. It practically oozes mystery!
My food was not ruined...merely rendered into a form that required some creative solutions before being edible...ketchup can cover a multitude of sins.
The way you speak about your Aunt is intriguing. Your word choices seem careful, affectionate but careful. It sounds almost like there is some sort of power imbalance or something. That you mention she is a very loyal lady makes me think there is something more unsaid. I hope I am not prying, but hope instead this is your soft feeler testing to see if I pick up on things you say and reach back part way. Or it was just simply a small bit of kind praise towards someone you think well of, with no deeper meaning intended or implied.
Aaaah, you caught me. Yes, yes. I sleep little. Usually no more than a few hours a night. Sleep and I have a complex arrangement, and we haven't as yet come to a complete entente. Luckily I am quite the lygophile now. The fact that you see sleeplessness as your default makes me think you are in greater need of the ASMRiest lullaby in existence. What troubles my friend's equilibrium so much that they are being denied the pleasant succour of sweet dreams? Whatever it is deserves a thorough telling off and a quick spray from the bottle-diffuser of naughty-things banishment.
I am very much looking forward to hearing your thoughts on the rest of my playlist, and would invite you to share any songs of your own preferences that you feel I should know, or that speak to you in some way. (And also keen to hear what you think of the synopsis of The Fall of the House of Usher, or your impressions of it if you ever get a chance to watch it).
It is with reluctance that I must conclude this letter, for 3AM draws close and I have not done any of the writing for the game for my nephews tomorrow, so I need to knuckle down and get typing.
Goodnight and sweet dreams to you my friend.
Yours faithfully,
BastionKnight.
@BastionKnight Dearest Knight,
I’ve read your letter and will send you a worthy reply in due time. At present, I’m caught up with a few matters and I hope you’ll forgive my delay.
But to ease your concern—Aunt is, truly, a kind soul. I understand why you brought up the power dynamics, especially in light of my poems. But to clarify- she isn’t the one who inspired those verses. And she isn’t my aunt by blood either. She’s someone who has worked with my dad for years. We’ve known her since childhood and back then.... when she accompanied us to hospitals, we used to call her “aunt” for convenience. The name just stayed.
I hope the week ahead is kind to you. Take care and we shall speak again soon<3
Lady Lillypad
@azurePond
Take all the time you need my friend. I will await your next letter patiently and eagerly.
@BastionKnight
TW _ DROWNING
Anyway.... I’ve never stepped inside a natatorium ever again. Also, no jacuzzis for me — no thanks.
End of TW content
Posh dinner parties are overrated... except for the desserts. however if it’s something made out of coconut then I won’t be scratching the furniture — I’ll be chopping coconuts on the furniture.
*laughs* Haha. I’m a very forthright person. I’ve been told I’m intimidating.
I agree that naive perspectives are not always foolish. Wordsworth called it the "celestial light". The purity, the divine.
For eg - my best friend — she’s a very kind hearted, angelic person. Some would call her naive — very trusting, very open — but her perspectives are truly wise. She always sees the best in people. She holds few grudges. She never overcomplicates things. I think, when you start to grow, you begin to see wisdom and intelligence as complicated — and complicated perspectives as superior. But maybe it should be easy. Naivety allows us to be curious, whimsical, and hopeful.
Oh, thank the heavens? I guess? If you like ketchup. I’m sorry to say that I dislike everything tomato.
Sleep more, ok?
.
I see. Fine then.
@azurePond
Greetings Lady Lilypad,
I am humbled that you felt able to share what you said in your letter. It hurts to think you have had such sorrow in your life. Whenever I hear of any harm directed towards a child it strikes at my very core, and is something that is just so unfathomable. That you also lost your sweetheart in such tragic circumstances is unutterably sad. As unfair and cruel it was for you to be robbed of such a clearly important person in your life, I cannot bring myself to fault him; to think of others above oneself and to try to save life is one of the most noble things I can think of. It sounds from the language you used that your feelings on the matter are complex. I hope you do not judge his bravery too harshly. I wonder if his valiant heart and readiness to step into danger was in some small part sympatico with your own wild spirit, and maybe why you were drawn to each other? Regardless, both aspects of your story are things I wish you had not had to have faced. The more things I learn about you, the more the tapestry of your being comes in to focus.
Ah, my friend, your humour continues to thread through all you say. Even when you deliver sad events, you rally back with blinding speed. I imagine you must be excellent company in person, for your enthusiastic energy seems palpable.
It is nice to know that you and I align on many matters. I think having sympathy for all creatures is a very pleasant trait to possess. Loving animals is easy...now if they stopped being so delicious I could stop watching nature documentaries as if they were live action menus. As you already highlighted, taking an animal for food and using as much as you can of it seems the most honourable thing to do. Law of the jungle...I like that. But I think my own take on that is less Darwinism and more Dahlism...taking the Roald less travelled.
I keep smiling when I read phrases of yours in which I see myself doing a very similiar thing...anticipating what one thinks the other person might be thinking or feeling and then explaining and trying to reassure. Not only does reading it make me feel a sense of camaraderie with you, but I also find your own unique way of conversing and conveying of ideas both soothing and admirable. People who have the good fortune to know you in real life are lucky indeed. But I am sure you are well aware of that, for otherwise you would not have friends sharing a sleep space with you and guarding you as you slumber. I think that shows how much people care for you.
Twin Soul. *Smiles, elated by the term*. And I really appreciate you letting me know you are comfortable with being asked things directly. I just hope you will forgive me if I preamble and prevaricate, and not find it too annoying. Sometimes I let a word-soup fog up my approach to a topic so that I might better hide from any chance of embarrassment or offence.
It was highly entertaining seeing your thought process at work as you pondered my age. It amused me that you entertained the notion I might be your father's age. Fret not, I am not feeling compelled to answer on the subject, It just pleased (and I have to say flattered, as you equated it with a 'maturity of philosophy and diction'). I am building up a steady picture of you my friend, and it is fascinating to say the least. I agree very much that age is no barrier to friendship. Is this why you thought I was a coach or tutor maybe? I tend not to think about anyone's age...or rather, I tend to subconsciously automatically assume everyone is the same age as me. Luckily that is not the case, or else we would all be bankrupted on the same month each year from the sheer volume of birthday cards and presents we would all have to purchase simultaneously. I freely admit that your potent communication proficiency would make it easy to assume you fitted into an age bracket that perhaps you do not occupy. But as you have said, age is of no more importance than hair colour or favourite style of shirt when it comes to being someone's friend. *He says as he crawls back to his sarcophagus filled to the brim with Oil of Olay*
The more I get to know you, the more I am imagining your living situation and general life atmosphere as being something like a blending of "The Secret Garden" by France Hodgson Burnett, and "Gormenghast" by Mervyn Peake. And yes, also maybe a spattering of Bronte flavoured touches too.
I am aghast at your loathing of the tomato (and maybe too the denigrating of bats to the status of pests.....poor, poor little flying rats!). *Smiles* I cannot say I honestly blame you. I have had a strange bond with those particular fruits of the nightshade. When I was small, ketchup was something I wanted at every meal to cover the taste of anything I was served. Yet I loathed tomatoes in any other form both for their taste and texture. As years have passed (all one thousand five hundred and twenty seven of them), my love for ketchup has waned to the point I rarely use it outside of being a cooking ingredient, but now can appreciate the fruits an incy-wincy bit more in their own right.
I really love the way you describe the people in your life who you admire or care for. Your description of your best friend was a prime example. You have a very big heart I think, and it is no wonder it brims over with such vibrant emotions when you write. Speaking of your writing, I swear I am not neglecting revisiting it. Things have just been a bit unexpectedly complicated, so have delayed what I have been intending to do.
Sleeplessness is less a habit with me, and more of a status quo. The dark and I though are friends, so you need not worry about my lygophilia. I get the impression though that maybe you and I share the same malady of not being able to quieten thoughts once night falls. Am I mistaken?
You are funny my friend. Why do you worry so if your witticisms are landing? You make me smile, you make me laugh, and you impress me with clever lines. I get that portions of it are a defence mechanism, so if it brings comfort keep doing it. I will just keep making sure you are reassured, and at the same time reaping the benefit of being kept amused. But likewise, don't feel you have to entertain...when things are tough or you just aren't feeling it...that portion of my friend is equally welcome.
You watched the trailer and liked it? *is thrilled*. It is indeed by Mike Flanagan. I concur with you friend....watch The Haunting of Hill House! I was giggling reading throughout your paragraph about his recommendations.
Did I not mention my geeky past-times? *Forgets what I may or may not have shared* My nephews (and some others) and I have been playing a couple of tabletop roleplay games for the last few years. I run the game and so write the plots, design encounters and riddles for them, make maps, and a whole host of other stuff that hopefully helps everyone feel really immersed. Last week I was designing family trees and designing coats of arms. We gather together early in the day, then play through to the wee hours of the following morning. It gets very loud and animated, and they have over the last year started to come dressed in costumes of their characters. So in turn, I always try to make themed meals for them to help keep things feel really in-character......oh my gosh, how sad and geeky do I sound!? And you were worried that Twilight fandom was something to blush about.
I must draw this letter to a close, for I have another fun hospital trip again tomorrow and I have to pretend at least that I am attempting to get more sleep.
Before I go though, I want you to know that I hear those references to spiralling again, and to things being maybe not smooth sailing for you. I am here if you need anything, even if it is just a sounding board or need to an avenue to vent without judgement. Please do not be reluctant to voice if you need someone to lean against for a little while, or just need a bit more comfort or boosting than normal. You will find your friend ready and steady.
Till next we speak and ever remaining at your service,
BastionKnight.
@BastionKnight
Thank you for being patient.. Here is a cute kitten gif for you <3
@azurePond
*Eyes wide and fingertips reaching towards the screen at the cuteness* Thank you my friend.
@BastionKnight
Greetings, Knight!
Sometimes I think if my life were a reality show… people would make sad little edits of me and they would like me and root for me yk? “She deserves happiness #GiveAzurePondAHappyEnding.”
Then again, I am the kind of person who once introduced someone as "Allied Powers" because the person was Half Russian and Half American. So I may get cancelled after the first episode.
But really, it’s not all that bad. I’ve got people in my life who love and cherish me—including friends from 7 Cups… including you. It could be worse. I live a more privileged life than many who are in war zones or dealing with epidemics.
“The more things I learn about you, the more the tapestry of your being comes into focus.”
Right then—let’s see what this tapestry looks like. I am curious now... Go on… describe it! I suspect the one you’ve built in your head is far more flattering than reality.
Yes, I’m a social butterfly... but also very much an introvert. Socialising exhausts me but I adore people—so maybe I’m an ambivert. What about you? You give off introvert vibes but I assume you interact with people a fair bit.
Introverts don’t usually develop mirroring habits… that tends to come from dealing with people regularly. Maybe you’re an introvert who entertains many? HR perhaps? (Not me asking about your job though—promise!)
Grazie. I’m glad we align on animal matters. I don’t exactly love petting them or anything—I just don’t harm them. Do you have pets? Or would you like to have some one day?
“But I think my own take on that is less Darwinism and more Dahlism... taking the Roald less travelled.”
Haha!! that was witty!
I loved Roald Dahl growing up—especially Fantastic Mr Fox. I even saw the Wes Anderson adaptation in the cinema… it was my very first English film in a theatre.
Dhanyawaad. But honestly, I’m the lucky one to have such good people around me.
No, I don’t find preambles annoying. I just didn’t want you to feel pressured to come up with one before asking me something. I get the “word soup fog” response—if you’re comfortable speaking that way… please go ahead. I was only letting you know that if it gets tricky, you can be direct. I won’t mind.
For better or worse, my father is the most well read person I know. The way he uses words and philosophises—it's compelling. I tend to associate intellectualism with his age group. Just as I associate adventure with one of my brothers’ ages.
Umm..tutor or coach or a Professor. You’d probably love shaping a generation and engaging with the class—if they were attentive kids. But if they weren’t, you’d take it to heart, even if it wasn’t your fault. Still, you’d be the kind of professor who notices their students.
People often think I’m older than I am when they only read my writing or hear me speak. But when they see me? They assume I’m younger. No one ever guesses my actual age—it’s the only mystery I carry.
And no, I don’t need Olay—I’m genetically blessed * flaunts my genes at you*
Knight, you are so cool! You have a sarcophagus?! I want one!
“...a blending of The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett and Gormenghast by Mervyn Peake… Brontë...”
Ok but where are the magical creatures? Where’s the plot twist? My life is far too boring without them.
I told you—I appear very easy going, but my preferences are set in stone.
It’s just that I don’t impose them on others.
There are definitely high maintenance things about me—like… I don’t like paper or plastic plates. I need food served on white plates. Doesn’t matter if they’re ceramic or not or if there are patterns—as long as the white is visible and the design doesn’t overpower.
I’m a total neat freak. Most of my things are white—bathroom tiles, bedsheets. You might think…“Doesn’t white get dirty easily?” Exactly! I want to see the dirt so I can clean it properly.
Also, I love the big overhead light rather than the thousand small lamps. I do not want aesthetic lighting, I want full lighting.
Do you have any quirks like that? You are probably more easy going and make sacrifices to accommodate the other person.
Yes yes …. bats are pests. I don’t like rats either (except in cute gifs)
Like I said, I don’t harm animals… but do I like them? sigh This is the darker side of me I keep hidden from the noble Knight.
*Notes down * – 1527 years. Got it.
Wow…you really do love ketchup.
Growing up, we weren’t allowed any. My birthgiver was (still is) a health freak. We had “tomato sauce” instead—which I hated. Then I finally tried ketchup once… didn’t like that either.
So you've built tolerance towards tomatoes? There may still be hope for me... ? * noo…too soon*
Thank you. * I should really come up with something creative here. * Arigatou gozaimasu. * bows *
“I could listen to these streams of consciousness all day.”
I should learn from you—I can’t stand listening to my own stream of consciousness.
I don’t think my opinions are particularly wise or bold. I just believe we should hold onto a little whimsy and naivety in life. Otherwise life becomes a chore, doesn’t it?
Ooh… yours isn’t unrealistic. Naivety—once lost—can’t be fully regained. But we can carry a little of it with us. We shouldn’t spend life lamenting the loss of innocence—we should honour it in small ways, remember it and move forward with it. That’s what I meant.
It’s a practical approach, I think.
And why do you need an excuse to play games or colour in or pretend the floor is lava? Just do it. Like Nike says.
Danke. Just know that I describe you the same way when I talk about you.
And I understand, Knight. I told you—comment when you're free. Don’t beat yourself up over it.
How are you feeling, by the way? I’m not even sure you’ve fully recovered.
“Things have just been a bit unexpectedly complicated.”
What’s going on? You can tell me if you’re comfortable. You can lean on me too, yk?
I’m sorry that sleeplessness has become your norm. Is it the medication post-surgery?
I really think you should speak with your doctor about it. I hope I’m not overstepping.
Yes, yes—we share the affliction of racing thoughts.
What do you usually do when that happens?
Gracias. I’ve got deadpan humour, so people think I’m being serious even when I say ridiculous things.
Oh I’m glad you’re thrilled. And for the record—he recommended 7 Cups, so I do listen to him sometimes.
You did mention your creative pastimes and that you make games—but we didn’t dwell on it.
“ Forgets what I may or may not have shared “ — no you dont. You remember. You were just worried that I might’ve forgotten. I didn’t. I wanted to know more which is why I asked.
Are you kidding? That sounds absolutely brilliant.
Immersive storytelling, custom maps, coats of arms, themed meals and costumes? That’s not geeky—that’s legendary. Honestly that kind of dedication is what makes tabletop roleplay feel like magic. I’m genuinely in awe—can I book a seat at your next campaign just to observe the chaos and creativity?
I’ve never played games like that.
Like seriously, this is so cool, Knight!!
See? I knew you were the favourite uncle. The effort you put in—your nephews are lucky to have you. Don’t downplay it. I would’ve loved to have an uncle like you when I was a kid.
Coats of arms? You design them? Is that why your profile picture is one?
And speaking of profiles—why “Bastion Knight”? (You don’t have to answer if it’s personal.)
Mine was system generated at first—something like “AzureTree” or whatever. But I don’t know any blue trees so I made it Pond.
Like Batman—naming myself after my fear.
“And you were worried that the Twilight fandom was something to blush about.”
- Nah, I don’t blush over Twilight. I just find it hard to accept that at one point I had that bad a taste in films. It’s more of an ego crushing revelation than anything.
Oh—you still have hospital visits? I hope it’s for something more enjoyable this time.
Merci beaucoup, Knight. (Apologies for the bad accent)
Please know that you can rely on me too.
“Till next we speak and ever remaining at your service.”
Ok, yes,I know I call you Knight and all, but you don’t have to be at my service. We’re friends—equals.
So take care ,
Lady Lilypad 🐸
@azurePond
You are not forgotten my most excellent friend, I am just trying to shuffle around some things so that I can sit down and write a proper reply. I look forward to re-reading your letters, and writing back to you is something i equally enjoy, so wish to relish the experience and not muddle through with a few scant lines. However, I DO want my friend to know they are being thought about, so just wrote this very brief missive to let you know you are in my busy little brain, and I shall be responding with something a little more fleshed-out very soon.
@BastionKnight
So thank you for that *sends you a 1000 rose bouquets without the thorns ofc*
Take care, Knight.
@azurePond
Hello my friend, the highly esteemed Lady Lillypad.
I have at last secure some quite time, and as usual it is after midnight. Before I get into the meat, let me just say;
Aapka swāgat hai
Dou itashimashite
Bitte
De nada
Je vous en prie
*Smiles* The little things you do, like those scatterings of phrases in multiple languages, are such a fun little adornment to your prose. It makes me even happier as I read.
So, I will try and answer some of your questions.
Yes, I do indeed design coats of arms, and my profile picture is a simple one I knocked up to represent me a little. The ones i make range from simple shields and mottos up to full blown sovereign designs, along with interlinked sub houses. Sounds boring as anything, but the end results are hopefully pleasing to look at. I thought I might share with you one of the more simplistic fantasy ones I made.
Nerdy right?
My profile name is a bit of not terribly clever word play. Bastion is both a reference to a character from a story which inspired and continues to inspire me (characters name is Bastian), and is also a reference to my desire to be a bulwark, remaining strong and dependable. The Knight is both a protector and prisoner; his Bastion both fortress and oubliette. They both keep stuff out and keep stuff in. It isn't meant to be maudlin, or navel-starey. It is just a self reminder, as well as another instance of that annoying habit I have of putting something out on display but obfuscating it under so many layers so that I run no risk of anyone truly seeing it. There is a lot in The Never Ending Story that strikes deep chords within me. The knight bit is also just how I wish to be and how I try to live. Does that sound horrifically cliché and puerile? It is making me cringe re-reading it. Yours seems so much neater and mature by comparison.
Yes, I am still having hospital visits, and doctor appointments. But I am still making steady progress. I sustained significant nerve damage, and had complications during the surgery which meant things were a little more challenging after my op. But I am moving, and getting stronger all the time. As to medication...weeeeelllllll, I sort of am an incy wincy bit stubborn...so i stopped taking pain relief the moment I could move without it. So, my sleeplessness owes nothing to medicine and more to too many thoughts. How do i quieten them you ask? Well, when I was fitter I used to go on long walks and visit the forest at night. But lately I have relied on music or asmr clips to distract and lull. Sometimes i paint miniatures, just something that keeps me focussed seems to still my thoughts. Thing is, one would think that having lots of thoughts running through ones head would be a boon to creativity....I do not know how it is for you, but for me it is the reverse. It is analogous to having too much noise, so that you cannot concentrate on one thing. And feelings can come on strong and unbidden, but without the capacity to channel or direct them. Sometimes I have tried to write, but it rarely works out.
As to me being at your service, I hope you will allow me that indulgence for it brings me pleasure. Besides, perhaps I can reassure you with my view on such a state; It is an honour for a knight to be able to employ their strengths in service to others, especially for those they care about. It carries no social weight, nor is it motivated by obligation or thought of reward. In fact, if anything, it is it's own reward. Or equally, it is just a simple phrase of polite deference, with no further meaning. Feel free to subscribe to whichever suits you best. *Smiles*
Oh, before I forget *shares a slice of now few days old birthday cake with you*
You can indeed book a seat at the next campaign. I shall order in a new velvet cushion in preparation. *Grins*
Thank you for asking after me. I feel with you it is genuine and not platitudes. You have struck true on multiple occasions when you have intimated or outright suggested that I have a complete inability to let barriers down and ever ask for assistance. The reasons are almost certainly very dull reading, but it is a very ingrained mode of behaviour. Besides, nothing is ever wrong with Bastion, so no call to call for assistance. Lucky really isn't it.
My little sister has ongoing issues which are complicated by her medical history and is in therapy, but has struggles with funding. My oldest sister is debilitatingly mentally ill and has been in institutions on and off. My other sisters have had their own share of problems. So no, Bastion does not have frailties. He remains the steady centre column, and anything that might look like a personal burden is just an illusion quickly dispelled. No anxiety. No stress. Just smiles.
Okay, that is more than enough time spent on Bastion. (Tedious fellow is he not?). I promise that the next letter will instead answer your curiosity regarding my thoughts on the tapestry of Her Most Azure Excellency. I am feeling quite bad for writing just about me. It holds an unpleasant whiff of self indulgence, even though I hope I was just answering your queries.
I shall write again soon. Until then, I hope you have a lovely start to your weekend, am keeping my fingers crossed that you have been able to get more sleep, and as always very happy to have the pleasure of your correspondence.
Ciao for now,
Your friend, BastionKnight.
@BastionKnight
*Slaps forehead in disbelief* I completely failed to realise that posting the image of the family tree would be near impossible to make out at a fixed size. So if you are interested, the image with more clarity is here:
https://imgur.com/a/fantasy-family-tree-niqJyth
You might have to copy the image and then paste it into paint to be able to view the details up closer. There is probably an easier way to display it properly, but alas, my knowledge in all things tech has always been limited....when i first had a dummy I sucked the wrong end until I was given the instruction manual.
@BastionKnight I’m not ignoring you, Knight — just drafting my reply. Thanks for your patience!
@BastionKnight
Hello my dearest friend Knight,
I’m glad that my scatterings of phrases in multiple languages made you happier as you read * smiles *
This isn’t boring, Knight — this is amazing, fun and really, really cool. So beautiful that I must muster up the courage to say something... I don’t want to burden you, buuuuut… could you make a crest for me? * blinks at you innocently *
And I’m not giving you a deadline or demanding anything. Maybe just whenever you’re free, if it’s not too much — just an image in our chat? I don’t know. They’re so beautiful and I really wanted one. Okay? also you are allowed to say no, I just asked...I tend to ask for what I want — it’s just how I am. But don’t worry, I won’t be mad if the answer’s no. That’s another trait of mine.
Nerdy, yes — but nerdy and cool.
Oh and I’m glad I asked you that question — because I got an answer without deflection (not a dig, I promise!) and it was soooo personal. Thank you for trusting me with it.
Anyway… Bastian, like in The NeverEnding Story, right?
Yes, yes — you are strong and dependable, Knight.
(You know how I draft each letter — I copy and paste your message into a Google Doc then I start at the top and write my reply, deleting your lines as I go. This happens even when I’m just skimming. Then I read through it again — that’s the time-consuming part — and make the final touches.)
I said all that because… I GUESSED IT!!! IT WAS TOTALLY A NEVERENDING STORY REFERENCE.
Aaaah! * victory dance*
And I didn’t know how to tell you I guessed it right. Even though I didn’t ask you directly, I always associated you with that character and I think I may have written some comments to "Bastian" instead of "Bastion" and facepalmed.
I didn’t think you were referencing it but something about “Bastion” reminded me of Bastian Balthazar Bux.
PS. I’ve never read the full book but I watched the movie ages ago — I don’t really remember it. One of my friends loves the story so I knew the name. Maybe I should read it properly.
You feel cringe re-reading your message because it’s honest. But I don’t feel cringe at all — I love it.
“Neater and more mature by comparison”? Sir... I once told a friend that if I ever had a cat, I’d name her Sparta so that when someone asked...“What’s her name?” I could say “This is SPARTA!” and kick them. For fun.
I said this as an adult. Completely sober.
I’m elated that you’re making progress. Please listen to your doctors, eat properly, rest and take it slow.
That sounds like an incredibly tough journey. But hearing that you’re moving and getting stronger every day? That’s genuinely inspiring. You’re stubborn in the best kind of way.... the quietly fierce Knight who keeps showing up, even when things get hard.
And ah... the too-many-thoughts kind of sleeplessness... I know that one far too well. But let me know if you'd like something distracting, calming, or just silly — I’ve got all three in stock.
I see. I love long walks too.
And since you mentioned the forest, now comes the ultimate question for the truth-
You’re a fae warrior who is 1527 years old, right? Answer in yes or yes.
…Ok.... mentioning ASMR kind of shattered that image, but still.
I recently ventured into the wild world of ASMR after you mentioned lullabies. Those don’t work for me but oh Knight — there’s some bizarre stuff out there.
I won’t go into detail but I came across one titled- “My boyfriend called me a monkey so I set him on fire.”
I didn’t listen to it... I swear — but still… aaaah! Who are we to judge? hahahaha The tears were real though.
Now, I need more lore on miniature paintings, if that is ok with you.
And yes, I agree — too many thoughts is just noise.
For me, I use a punching bag. Or I run. Once the noise quiets, then I can write. That’s my modus operandi.
I think you might need to soften the noise first — then write. I miss your poems ...No pressure though...let the creative flow take its time.
Oh yes I almost forgot. Even though you’re my friend, you are a Knight. So yes, I shall allow you to serve me.
It is an honour. * gracious curtsey *
Was it your birthday recently? I’m a July baby too!
So cheers — clears throat and signals orchestra
🎶 Happy Birthday to you… 🎶
Belated wishes!
I wish I could’ve joined the games. Thank you so much for the metaphorical cushion — it means more than you know.
“Nothing is ever wrong with Bastion” — not that anything’s wrong with you, but Sir…
You just had surgery.
You’re still recovering.
You don’t sleep.
You need a friend.
Annnnddddd you are lucky — I am your friend.
You can rely on me too. (I am not saying that I am your only friend...rely on any of your close friends or trustworthy strangers ..ok?)
I always say it doesnt matter whether you drown in the ocean or in a pond or in a lake — you will still end up dead yk what I mean...so please don’t compare your pain or the depth of it.
If you’re ever willing to share your sorrows… I’m all ears.
Since you answered in third person (a habit I understand from my own heart) here’s my reply:
That sounds like a heavy landscape to grow within — and I can only imagine the kind of strength and quiet resilience it must take to hold space for all of that.
Bastion sounds like the kind of person who becomes the still point in a spinning world. The kind others lean on without even realising it.
Sometimes those smiles carry more than they show — but I understand some people truly are built like calm anchors in storms.
But sometimes, even anchors need anchors. (Ok that sounded deep but reading it now sounds dumb.)
Anyway... Bastion can rely on me too.
Thank you for sharing something so personal. I hope your sisters continue to find the support they need — and that Bastion also has a support system of friends who offer him the same steady presence he gives so freely. And that Bastion learns to lean on them too. Like Bastian and Atreyu. (I’ve probably said the same thing a 100 times )
I disagree, by the way. Bastion is a very interesting fellow.
Yes yes… I’m eagerly awaiting that letter — but if it’s making you self conscious or stressed, just drop it, ok? No pressure.
All I see is the lovely scent of a friendship deepening, bit by bit, as we get to know each other. So no worries.
Well, I’ve got a busy weekend and week ahead. But I’ll be here — 7 Cups is keeping me sane, lol.
Also, the people here are interesting, kind and very appreciative * coughs- Knight*
Sleep still eludes me, sadly. But now I’m back at my father’s and my little brother sometimes crawls into my bed at night — and that helps more than I can explain. Maybe I should adopt a kid? (Just kidding) He’s honestly like a cat — sometimes I wake up and he’s wrapped around one of my legs and I’m just like “Why can’t I move?”
He’s so wonderfully perceptive — always shows up when my mood is the worst. And he knows I never get angry with him so the little demon definitely exploits my soft spot. It’s not exactly continuous sleep but I do get about 3 hours or so a night now. He’s basically my living, talking serotonin dose. Lol.
Sooo that is it but there's always more ..we shall meet again in another letter… take care, my friend.
Ciao,
Lady Lilypad of Azure Pond
@azurePond
Salutations dear AzurePond,
I am very sorry I have not had a chance to write a proper reply to you lately. However, I hope that the following will make up for it a little. If it does not meet with your approval, just say the word and I will see what I can do instead:
@BastionKnight Dearest Knight,
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUAAAAHHHHHH
*ok composes myself * *curtsy with grace * and *virtual hugs *
I LOOOVEEE THISSS! I am really glad that you chose Blue as the main colour. It’s not just stunning — it feels deeply symbolic in ways that I can’t even fully articulate yet.... every detail pulled me in. The crown, regal yet dreamlike. The quills — like guardians of thought and imagination. The shield, flowing with layered movement and emotion. And those 3 arrows caught in what looks like a whirlwind? That hit me especially hard. But what truly fascinated me — and gave me chills — was the winged lion.
Thank you sooo much <3
@BastionKnight
Knight, I summon your wisdom. I’d like your thoughts on something — no rush but I hope you can type a reply within a day.
Disclaimer: I'm not making a life altering decision based on this so no worries about that
But if you had to choose between Option A and Option B.... what would you pick?
A is a place where you're not particularly liked, but you're safe. You have no real role, but you're free... like a diplomat with immunity in a foreign country — present, protected but ultimately detached.
B is a place where you're loved, maybe even revered — but your safety isn't guaranteed. You're chained to duty yet you hold real power (but still duty comes above power) Think president-with-responsibilities energy but you can also get sh0t
So..... unloved and free and rot away or loved and bound and possibly die?
@azurePond
Hello my friend,
Before I answer, I must voice that even with your disclaimer your words still raise my concern for you. There is no doubt that you are a sensible and contemplative individual, but the gentle request for alacrity and the options themselves make me wonder what might be occurring in Lady Lilypad's mind, as well as her immediate life situation. Is anything wrong?
As to my answer, I would choose B. Whilst power holds no particular allure for me, love is a factor that I think will always outclass any other motivator. If the love is mutual (and one does not simply act in a Kantian fashion from some perceived categorical imperative) then adherence to such a duty is not only compelling but also appealing. But we must not forget that my bias is heavily influence by my belief in chivalry. Danger therefore does not act as a deterrent to me in that instance. Plus, as I do not place any particular great value on myself, a threat of harm holds little power to bar my choices.
Choice A is not without merits. I can understand how someone could take that choice, or even feel it is the only choice they could make. Safety is a potent influence, and one can easily feel chained in place because of it. But ultimately from my perspective, choice A sounds very sad and lonely.
I do not think either choice is completely palatable. For even though I would choose B, without knowing details, it sounds as if there could be nuances which might make the choice very difficult to reconcile with my ethics....being revered or bound...both can be positive or very negative indeed.
May I ask what has spurred these questions? Is it anything to do with why you mentioned you would be very busy throughout July and into August?
@BastionKnight Oh no no, I wasn’t making a life decision, Knight (If I were, I would have told you)—I was just trying to understand why someone would choose Option B. And honestly, I loved your explanation.
@azurePond
*Smiles* ah, then I am relieved. May I inquire if this line of thought was purely hypothetical or is this someone you know?
@BastionKnight Oh yes. I do not want to insult your intelligence by saying that it was a hypothetical question.. I do not ponder about power dynamics , freedom and love like a modern day philosopher... well...atleast... not always. I was trying to understand where someone else was coming from... their choices.. it doesnt matter anyway.
@azurePond
It matters to you so it matters. I shall not press you on it if you wish to keep it private, and I shall respect your wishes. But if you did want to tell me, I am always listening and curious.