Mind time with @Torean and @cyanessence
Hello friend! I hope you don't mind me making this chat... I wanted to since I heard of you, I just got a gentle push from Kiara so here we are!
I found ChatGPT really scratches my itch for absurd jokes. What do you think of this?
A walrus walks into a laundromat holding a harmonica and a single sock full of spaghetti. He looks the cashier dead in the eye and says, "I’d like to file a complaint about the moon’s behavior during lentil negotiations."
The cashier nods solemnly, opens a drawer full of bees, and replies, “Sir, we’ve been expecting your canoe.”
I liked it a lot xD the more bizarre, the better. I especially like when the words of phrases are rearranged, robbing it of meaning. I don't know why I'm like this... do you?
I'm not sure where to start. I want to tell you about a truly strange dream I had recently, but it's so hard to put into words.
The best word I've got for it is noetic. There were themes of aliens, and a vision of the world from afar where there was a giant alien head growing from it. I also remember being at a party, I couldn't control myself. I was happy but far too heightened, extreme euphoria. I was desperately seeking help from others in order for things not to feel so, so meaningful. Truly overwhelming. It felt a little like reasonless existence, and somehow that was the most meaningful kind.
What kind of music are you into? Very curious about that.
I also just want to hear about you, anything at all. What makes you, you? You said you laugh and talk in your sleep, right? I like the random, because increasingly I feel nothing is really random.
@cyanessence
@Torean
I don't mind at all 😊 I was thinking about starting one too. I don't know who she gently pushed first lol.
Bwahaha, I love the Walrus's complaint. I do use ChatGPT for this sometimes. One of my favorites was a country song that I had it so called "Good ol' Spud is still around.". It's because we correspond with a guy named Spud via email at my job. I remember one of the song's lines was "He's been mashed and fried in so many ways, but still he has a smile upon his face.". 😂 I also have a couple of pictures I had it do of the Terminator eating chicken nuggets.
I don't know why I'm like that either, but I think it can only be a good thing.
Heh, your dream doesn't sound totally unlike mine from last night. I remember I was on some dilapidated interstate bridge fistfighting some people, and I was flirting with a couple of girls, and I ended up realizing that all the world I knew around me was just inside one giant tent. I grew to giant size too, and I was sitting in the tent, feeling weird about it, and hoping I wasn't crushing people under me. I agree that it had its own meaningfulness that made so much more sense somehow, for no logical reason.
I'm into lots of kinds of music. I don't really listen to (much)country or religious music, but pretty much anything else. Alternative rock is still the best genre to me. Some of my favorite artists would be Saul Williams, Nine Inch Nails, Deftones, Minus the Bear, Lostprophets, TV on the Radio, Blue Oyster Cult, Living Colour, AFI, Stone Sour... I think ten is enough for now. 😅 What about you?
What makes me me... I dunno, I was a really offbeat weird kid. My mind constantly made up music, and id try to imitate it, and would get in trouble for making noises. I was passed around households, my dad was constantly ignoring me and/or disappointed in me, my mom has always been great and I take care of her nowadays... The rest of my family were all insanely religious and dysfunctional. As a result, I never really saw grown ups as actual authority, but more like taller children. I was an only child, but I was allowed to have friends over all the time. We used to do lots of made up adventure games outside, we recorded our own radio shows on cassette tapes, played lots of video games and talked about girls. Outside of that, my mom always compared me to Johnny 5 from Short Circuit, because I always wanted to learn everything like he wanted input. The reason I'm saying all this is because I haven't changed much. I'm still that kid, but I've been through so, so very much. I know what it's like to get locked in a room and have to defend myself, my mom almost died in a terrorist attack, I've been forced to take a lighter to my own possessions... I know what it's like to dissociate and terrify people... and this is just scratching the surface. I've never had real direction, but I love new experiences and want to know people for who they are, not who they feel they need to show. I think about the messages my actions send, and want to make this world a better place for those around me. I stay busy all the time, and my mind automatically goes to humor, because it's just the best reaction to this world that I have. What about you? You've got lots in common with me from what I already know, so I know your story has gotta be interesting!
@Torean
Kiara the connector ^^ (among other things, teacher, writer, healer, more) it's always a pleasure talking with her, but I'm liking branching out. I've classically had trouble talking.
I'm wary of AI. I believe if you're to use it for any kind of reasoning, you yourself must have good reasoning skills. For, it hallucinates. So you need to be honest, questioning, critical. Verify things. It certainly has potential though. I may go on about my love for logic and reasoning!
I like that, "He's been mashed and fried in so many ways, but still he has a smile upon his face." It's like a micro poem. I actually relate to it xD I'd like to generate more AI images but it always seems to take too long and fail. I'll give it another go.
I'm proud of being like this, and it seems you are too. Life is wonderfully unique and we are reflections of it, so why not embrace it?
The world in a giant tent... I'm not the best at interpreting dreams lol. I don't try too hard, especially when they're mysterious. Reminds me of the Tardis from Doctor Who though. In all the strangeness I admire you for thinking of others, not wanting to crush them.
We have similar tastes in music! I just... can't appreciate much country. There's like, a couple religious songs on my play list, but they're just feel good songs to give me a boost.
I grew up listening to Linkin Park and Tool obsessively. Eventually I found The Flashbulb and stuck to that genre for a while (IDM). But lately it's exploded. I love most things. Too many artists to list. So I'll throw you some of my favourites, ones I relate to and explain my life. (Btw thanks for reminding me of TV on the Radio! Staring at the Sun, Wolf Like Me <3)
Dog Days Are Over by Florence and The Machine (depression vanishing in an instant), Praying by Kesha (viewing depression as a monster defeated), Underground by Cody Fry (story of my life), Awaken from League of Legends (realising potential), The View Between Villages by Noah Kahan (finding the middle), Saturn by Sleeping At Last (a fanciful dream). So much more, not enough time or space, that's a good snapshot. I'll check out what you listed too.
I too was an offbeat kid, pretty quiet, only a few close friends.
Adults are just big kids hey? I don't like when they claim so much authority. We are meant to be lifelong learners.
What are some of your favourite games? Mine is Baldur's Gate 3.
I'm sorry you've been through so much. I'm finding there's almost too much to say here, this comment is getting too long, I might have to make another one.
I too lack direction and love new experiences!
Do you like Bo Burnham? He's trying to heal the world with comedy. It is therapeutic.
I'll make another comment addressing more of what you said and tell you more about myself. Maybe wait for that second comment before responding? I'll get on it immediately.
I've classically had trouble talking too. 😂 She's been such a good friend here, she brings everything and everyone together.
AI definitely hallucinates or something like that. I like that comparison a lot. Your caution about it is something that should be kept in mind. That said, I feel like my most indulgent thought lately is "What if I'm an AI? How would I know if I wasn't?". What really brought that line of thinking is that one day as a kid I just seemed to wake up more intelligent. Before then, I acted and thought really strangely, and I used to have nightmares about having that mind again. It was like I got updated. 😅
Heh, we made a lot of things like that for AI to do. It's always hit and miss, but we've definitely gotten a lot of entertainment out of it. I don't really use AI for anything else... I wouldn't rule it out I guess, in case I had to write something incredibly artificial as well as professional.
Lol, I havent watched doctor who in forever... I wonder how it's doing. And I hope it does reflect well that I'm generally a good person in my dreams. I am promiscuous in my dreams though, and I've had issues with that throughout my life.
Sounds about right, there's very little country that's good. I like Johnny Cash on rare occasions. I grew up with Linkin Park too.! I'll have to check out what you listed. I actually have an ongoing quest to constantly listen to new music. My Spotify playlist has close to 4800 songs on my "liked songs" list. 😂
I was pretty offbeat too. And, yes, lifelong learners! That's why I never understood my family .. most of them are kind of stagnant.
I never played much of Baldur's Gate, but I do like the series pretty well. My favorite game of all time is Earthbound. I also really like RPG's in general. Final Fantasy is my comfy place... I really like the new Yakuza Like a Dragon games, almost feels like Earthbound but more adult. Very into Assassin's Creed and Resident Evil series' too.
It's all good, I just included vague examples. 😂 I could probably trauma dump all day if I was trying to do that.
And all good, I take a while to get back to 7cups occasionally, I'll check out your other comment soon! And I do like Bo Burnham, is he still doing comedy? I heard that he stopped, but I still have stuff by him to check out.
@Torean
I'm amazed Kiara has the time and energy! It's inspirational. The amount of people she reaches out to personally is touching.
That's a thought I've had recently too! How would one know if they're AI? I haven't thought about it too much, it's a little unsettling. But I feel a certain warmth about myself that just seems human, seems real. I trust my intuition a lot lol. I do relate to the feeling of being updated though. When I realised I have ADHD, it was a sudden and profound shift. I actually mourn who I used to be I feel that different. I think evolution is not always smooth. Sometimes it explodes. What caused it in you do you think?
I'll talk more about AI later. I will say I like it's novel uses the most, like generating jokes and pictures.
I lost a lot of interest in more recent Doctor Who. My favourite is Matt Smith, followed closely by David Tennant. Not just peak Doctor Who in my opinion, but peak television.
Dreams/nightmares are curious reflections of the self, but it is an imperfect mirror. It's like a space without reason, where things may just happen. Whims fulfilled, absurdity explored. It's almost like a reminder to appreciate what actually is. I too have experienced promiscuity in dreams and felt shame, but it makes me think how I would actually be. Dreams sometimes pose us the question: who do you want to be?
Is Hurt by Johnny Cash country? I like that. Kiara sent me a country song before, I appreciated the lyrics, but there's something about the music I can't vibe with. Feel free to hit me up with more songs, I'll let you know what I think of the ones you listed.
I relate to a stagnant family. Sometimes it feels as if I were adopted, but we're also similar in ways that only genetics can explain. I have to be good at learning because of my poor memory. If one can't remember how to do a thing, one must learn again!
I love Final Fantasy, but get lost in its immensity. I *almost* finished Final Fantasy 5! I loved the job system, and the story had a certain amount of heart to it. I'm half way through 7, interested in 9 and 10. Assassin's Creed is not what I thought it was haha. It's quite deep, philosophical. I was obsessed with Resident Evil 4. Played hundreds of times. I ended up filling the attache case with eggs. I was going to do all golden but lost interest finally.
I loved Bo Burnham's Inside. I listen to that music frequently. Apparently he's still involved in the entertainment scene, with indications of a potential tour in 2026.
I was going to try and make a single comment to your two, but I don't think that's feasible! Please forgive me. I will reply to the other one now.
Heh, same. She definitely has social strengths that I don't. I admire that.
I get what you mean about the certain warmth that feels human. Maybe I've been a little out of touch with it. I've had to mute my emotion slowly over the course of my life, and overall my journey has gotten a lot more interesting. It's still emotional, just not as all-absorbingly. But I do mourn who I used to be, in what feels like several different lifetimes I've lived at this point. As for my "update", I have no idea. Waking up different in smaller ways has definitely happened to me, but that one was so profound. As for AI, I don't know if it's ever felt bad to me. I don't feel like humans are inherently better than animals... Are we really better than AI though?
It was peak television. 😁 David Tennant was my favorite, but I liked Matt Smith a lot. I feel like Christopher Eccleston had more potential, if he was there longer and it focused just a little less on Rose.
Dreams pose a lot of questions and explore a lot of things. I like the way you put it though. Sometimes I do feel shame in dreams and I wish I didn't. Do you have any recurring dream themes? Besides general promiscuity, mine are zombies, bars, and NYC (I lived there for a short time). I used to dream about being underwater a lot.
Hmm, Hurt by Johnny Cash is a country version. That song was originally by Nine Inch Nails, but I like both versions equally. Heh, she might have sent me the same song at some point. I feel the same way about country. If anything, newer country is worse. Older can be a maybe, but it's highly unlikely for country songs to be my style enough to hang on my list.
Same with mine. Like, the level of stagnation I'm talking about... My mom used to click mahjong tile matching games for like 6 hours at a time. My dad only listened to Lynyrd Skynyrd, ZZ Top, and occasionally the oldies station. And one of my aunts spent about 8 years of her 40's/50's in a chat room, forcing her mother to take care of her and do all the chores.
Heh, the games are pretty big. I like all of them in their own ways. The job system in 5 was top notch. And Assassin's Creed is surprisingly deep! I knew that series was meant for me when I pickpocketed a keycard from a guy outside the Animus on the first game. You can use it to access some of the weirdest files and foreshadowing for the series. The game doesn't tell you that you can do that, it mentions the card once... And then several hours of gameplay later, you have one brief chance to take it out of his shirt pocket when he's drinking a cup of coffee. That may be my favorite thing ever included on a game. Lol, I love your egg case. I loved Resident Evil 5 the best, and that's an unpopular opinion, but I feel like the gameplay was a perfected version of 4's.
I'm glad to hear Bo Burnham is still doing stuff. I think the world needs him more than ever.
@Torean
Kiara seems a social butterfly! Really brings a lot of joy to a lot of people.
I relate to the muting of emotion. They're all still there, but not so overwhelming now.
I think some people have trouble digesting the profound. I believe you though. I see no reason why you would lie. It reminds me of an epiphany I had one day. It came up randomly and I told the 4 or 5 people around me, they got it, then we all forgot.
I don't see us as better than animals, just different. I don't know where AI fits in with humanity, but it excites me! Feel free to expand on the topic, I don't know much.
I can see why David Tennant won your heart. Great doctor, great actor. Chris had a lot of potential but there were problems? I'll have to educate myself and get back to you.
My dreams are a bit all over the place, hard to place a particular theme. I sometimes travel the universe. Black holes are scary. My favourite are musical dreams though. Original music, sometimes with lyrics. One in particular will never leave me, it was angelic and mystical.
That's some serious stagnation! To some extent I get it. I played Wordle Unlimited obsessively for a while because random words were better than the content of my mind. And thanks for reminding me of Free Bird! Love that song.
That Assassin's Creed opportunity is super cool. I understand why it's such a popular series. It does things a lot of games just can't.
Resident Evil 5 was mechanically more satisfying in my opinion, and the story was probably more refined now that I think about it. Just 4 has a special place in my heart. Leon!
Bo is very much needed right now.
I see there's another thing to reply to. Making my way there eventually!
Very true, I can be like that but not to the same extent, I admire it.
I think you're right. I dunno, I feel like people's insistence on rational explanations feels like a fad to me. Are so many people so strictly logical?
AI is an interesting concept, it's like we've created a new type of human, just with different limitations, one being true personhood. At least so far. AI seems to have its own personality sometimes though for sure.
It's been so long since I've watched them that I wonder how good Chris really was. I know I loved the 10th and 11th doctor though, and Chris Eccleston is a really good actor. He was in 28 days later I remember.
Heheh, music in dreams is funny. One of my dreams had ending credits, and a country song playing that was going like, "peace and le-mons, you got your peace and le-mons, when life gives you peace and lemons, make yourself a stand for some lemonade war." Lol... It shouldn't have made some sense like that, but it did.
Yeah, I get obsessive on stuff too, but I have to agree with you, there's a limit when you don't do anything else.
I really agree. I can't wait to try the next one. I feel like the AC series has yet to truly disappoint me. Rogue came close though.
Heheh, 4 has a special place in my heart too, but I replayed the game, and I didn't remember just how much that game cheapshots you. Still got through it ok, but lawd.
@Torean
I find myself actively suppressing the urge to make noises. It made being a kid pretty uncomfortable. I let it out now, but mostly privately. I guess I'm quite self-conscious. But I've always loved coming up with drum beats. I wish I could beat box.
I spent some time in foster care and government housing. I think that's why I despise moving so much now. I just want to find my place, my space.
My father is odd. He's lovely, but it's hard to connect with him. He was a little neglectful growing up, but he's on the spectrum. Mum was all over the place. The best mother one day, a raging psychopath the next. Had to leave home at 14.
I can't imagine the horrors you've experienced. Trapped in a room defending yourself? Terrorism? Destroying your own things? And that's just the surface? I literally weep for you my friend. No wonder you appreciate absurd humour. It's kind of my cure too. You are so wonderful to talk to.
I must disclose (can't remember if I have): my memory is broken. If I repeat myself, I am truly sorry, it's not because I don't care. I just can't retain much. I see it as strength, without memory I have mental flexibility to think.
I feel all over the place talking to you! It's a good thing, my ADHD brain finds it engaging. I feel I've told you some things about myself but not in a linear fashion.
I withdrew from high school half way through my final year. I'd missed too much, no point sitting exams. Years later, a friend and I decided we needed to learn so went to uni. I studied psychology, philosophy, statistics, Japanese, programming, sociology, two other subjects I can never remember. Bit of a brag but I was top of class for everything bar psychology. Favourite subject was logic and reasoning. With that tool, everything else is much easier.
It was a year of full time study, and it broke me. I had a mental breakdown that lasted more than a year, 8 months of that spent in a mental facility. They called it schizophrenia but I now disagree, I've had no symptoms for over 13 years. It too was noetic, but I didn't know that word then.
It landed me on a medication that turned me into a zombie for 10 years. I wasn't myself, and somehow it was worse than my mental breakdown. Eventually medication was changed, but I fell into a deep depression for many years, culminating in an attempt. My friend stopped me.
I had to move out, which felt like betraying my friends. But in this new place I reflected, and through realising I have ADHD my depression vanished in an instant. It put my life in perspective!
Now I'm writing an essay on meaning. I'm perhaps overconfident but maybe I can show life is meaningful and how to live with purpose so one can feel fulfilled. If nothing else it's helping me live my own life. If it helps anyone else, bonus.
I love people. This place has been great in finding new souls.
I hope I haven't overloaded you. Pick and choose what you respond to, I feel I've given you homework lol.
Cheers mate!
Before I get to anything else, I gotta comment on the songs. I definitely like the Awaken one. 😁 All of these are pretty and insightful though. I haven't listened to the Kesha one yet, because weirdly enough, the album it's on is one I was going to check out today anyway. (I don't particularly like her so far, but I think she's got decent lyrical potential). I've got a few songs that haunt me that I'll list for you. "Skin of a Drum" by Saul Williams (that song is literally me), "In Memory" by Shinedown (my breakup song with religion), "Prince" by Deftones (my struggles with promiscuity and SH), "Too Shy to Scream" by AFI (kinda how I feel when I fall in love), "Memories Can't Wait" by Living Colour (kinda what it's like inside my mind), and "D!e to Save You" by Sick Puppies (Reminds me of a bad emotional time when I started Kendo classes, and my sensei was an incredible person who helped me help myself out of it)
Heh, speaking of beat boxing, I discovered something recently. I started dating someone who's into rap, and interestingly enough, I rap better than I sing. I don't know what to do with that information. 😂 I assumed I'd be cringe at it. But... I think I should really check out a music mixing program. That might be a calling for me, to just start playing with it and see what happens.
My heart really goes out to you for the stuff you've been through. I've heard so many foster care horror stories, so I hope that was better than what your mom put you through. It's very difficult dealing with people when you don't know which one they are, but it's gotta be way worse with a parent. And I can directly relate to the med thing. I think college eventually made me start breaking down pretty badly too from overload. I think it started coming to a head at the end, when I put everything into my capstone, because I wanted to work in psychology to improve what's wrong with our justice system... But I learned that I just don't have the stomach for it. I was incredibly aimless for a long time. I finally ended up in a basic job, but this pays well and can be a full career. That frees up emotional space for me to explore and see what I can really create in this world.
I kinda digressed there, but I'm glad you've come to a time of not only healing but purpose after all of that. I think it's cool that you're able to see the memory thing as a strength. Actually, I think it really is. Don't worry about repeating yourself with me, I can understand that.
And you're wonderful to talk to too! I feel a lot of real connection, in a rare form. You already challenge my thoughts in the best way, and having a lot in common is a bonus.
As for what I've been through... Yeah. Heh, humor really is necessary. I feel like those things were all strengths for me too. Like, when I finally did defend myself, he had to get stiches... I have no idea what I did to him, but he was so proud of me. It was weird. It was the same "friend" that made me do the lighter thing, but I managed to save one thing from that. It wasn't even an important thing, but it reminded me of my mom, who I'd recently almost lost in that other situation. As for that one... I literally saw on TV that the building next to hers was absolutely destroyed in a bombing... But the camera never panned to her building. There were no cell phones, only land lines, and she couldn't even get anywhere where a call was possible for hours. I just remember being left in a dark empty classroom to cry. Someone came in and comforted me, but I don't remember who. But I did get something from it... Or rather lost something... And that's my sense of security. Without it, I'm less vulnerable. Everywhere is a battleground if it has to be, everything around me can be used to defend myself, and fighting stance is home, I can rest there. As a consequence, if it comes to an emergency, I'm usually the one that can stay cool and bark orders, make a call, etc.
I think one other thing that ties it together is a situation I put on myself. My cousin wouldn't stop making fun of me for swimming with floaties... And it started storming, so everyone went inside. I was still mad, so I ended up jumping out into the middle of the pool. The rain was making waves in the pool, lightning was above me, and I didn't know how to swim well enough. I was immediately treading water and panicking, and I felt stupid, and like it could be the end. I could see my family inside my grandma's house, the picture of family, it looked yellow and warm in there and everyone was smiling, food was being served. But here's the truth. If you can't swim, you actually can. I was about to drown, but instinct took over, and my body learned how before I did. I had to save myself because no one even knew I was out there. I've loved swimming ever since actually. But I also realize, I can end up in a situation like that at any time. Being someone on the outside of what people can see, where no one can hear me. It's happened a lot to me in general, and I'm at peace with it, and I want to help other people through what they're suffering alone in any way that I can.
@Torean
I'm glad you liked at least one of those songs! Music is highly subjective. I like listening to other's music as a way to understand them. We tend to listen to what reflects our feelings. It's uncanny how a song can pretty much describe your life, like we are living parallel lives. (Oh and I'm not a huge fan of Kesha, just that song xD). Okay, now to mindfully listen to Torean songs. I've been looking forward to this.
"Skin of a Drum" - "I dare not re-invent the past." Yes! Live for the present, using the past as a weapon to create a brighter future. "I search and I ponder, I question and wonder." Sounds like you. You're incredibly inquisitive and deep, very much like the song. "Divided I stand." You seem to have been broken and reformed! Musically deep, I like it.
"In Memory" - "Asking for a way out of this lie." I feel that. I've had a rocky history with religion. I've been atheist, I've been devout, I'm agnostic at the moment but exploring spirituality, would say I have faith. I argue that all perspectives have value. Atheism means you rely on yourself, very grounded in reality. Agnosticism is healthy scepticism, allows a lot of freedom. Theism gives certainty where there is none, can be a driving force for good. Of course they all have flaws. But I respect every position. What's yours? This song calls to my past self, I like it a lot.
"Prince" - "Your mind out of phase." Those dreams we share make me feel this way. Like I am out of sync with myself. "No-one cares, no-one knows." That is a deep feeling. I felt I needed this song when I was younger!
"Too Shy To Scream" - "I'd warn that you should leave before You're seen with me." This speaks to me. I fear I am simply too broken for a relationship. My Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria alone makes it painful for the other. It is getting better, a lot better, but there's only so much I can change. I still love, but my love makes me want to protect, so I don't pursue. I quite like this song!
"Memories Can't Wait" - "There's a party in my mind And I hope it never stops." Likewise! You are very curious to me, laughing at impossible things. Thinking of things like "Am I AI?" Must be fun in there. The song is a bit all over the place, I like it. Keeps me engaged.
"Die To Save You" - "All you do is let the fear decide." I was guilty of this. I refuse to let it control me any longer. I live with self-imposed purpose with conviction, not fear. Of course there's still things I'm afraid of, but it does not control me. It just questions me. I think this is my favourite of what you listed.
Of course there is so much more to these songs. They tell a story. That's just my two cents!
Perhaps you've found a calling in rap! I wish I could sing. I sing in the shower, but I'm terribly inconsistent. Sometimes I get it, sometimes I make fun of myself and barely try.
Foster care was strange, my memory sucks but I remember being unsettled at one stage. Something was off, but nothing ever happened. It was better than home life. Sometimes I'm angry at my mother, often I forgive. She had mental issues like no-one else.
I studied psychology so I could understand the self and maybe make a difference somehow. I think in essence it was for justice! So we could live in a better world. I don't have it in me to study for that long. I'm glad you found a place that allows you to still be creative. A lot of working people are working themselves to death for an ill-thought dream.
Without a sense of security, you are always ready. You don armour with spikes so any strike against you is rightfully painful. Perhaps it is the way to be, for life is a kind of battle. And it has practical use in that you are good in an emergency. I will keep you in mind when things go down.
You jumping in that pool speaks of your character. You perceived a flaw in yourself and made a radical change. Not many would be so bold! "If you can't swim, you actually can." I feel the same is true for philosophy. If you feel you can't think, you can. It's what life seems to be to me, a giant conversation, and it only seems to stop when the brain stops thinking. We are all constantly generating new insights and they are all a valuable part of the reality we create together.
We are the same in that we wish to help those suffering alone. I think we know all too well what pain is like when it's not shared. It's crushing. It's why I try and attend to the Needs Reply section. Everyone deserves at least one reply.
Since you mentioned Linkin Park, I'll leave you with my favourite: Krwlng from Reanimation. There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface!
I had a lot of reactions to your songs, I just didn't get my head around specific lyrics. Apologies if my reply on those was underwhelming. 😅 I was really curious about what the Underground song means to you, that one was a little more abstract. I did listen to the Kesha one and I really enjoyed that one for the same reason you listed. I also really liked her song titled Godzilla, that one was absurd in the best way.
Glad you liked the first one especially. I think you'd really like Saul Williams, he's my favorite artist. I'd recommend listening to Seaweed, Innocence, and The Tao of Now. I think those are a few of his weirdest and deepest, but there's plenty more where that came from.
As far as religion, I don't identify as any of those, but I can say for sure that I'm not an Atheist or Christian, mostly because I feel like reality doesn't carry the full story. I feel like there's a piece of truth in most religions, so I don't know what that makes me. I was raised Catholic, but I have hang ups with the Bible. The entire book seems like a weapon of control to me. No matter what truths it holds, it's been largely abused. That's why I have a strong admirations for Christians who actually use the best parts to thrive and help others to do the same. I just can't be one of those, because, given reality, I feel like God couldn't be so infinitely powerful and also be benevolent on any level. What about you?
"Prince" gives me the chills. I used to feel so much shame from my kinks. I could never write a better song than that one for how it felt.
Heh, I feel much the same in terms of love. I have a lot of anxiety about it. Usually if I'm dating someone, I want to hear from them and dread their messages at the same time. I also feel like I'm not good enough for anyone on a different level. Though, the upbeat nature of that song definitely hits the whimsical confidence I use to get to know someone that im interested in.
I had a feeling you'd like that last song a lot. I relate most to the beginning of it "You know, you can make things right, but you won't even look in my eye." When I started Kendo, sensei could immediately tell that I was afraid of myself, and he told me so. He told me that I could use that and learn to fight it, but he would help get me there. I knew that he was someone worth following by my second class. By coincidence, I started the first class at the same time as a deaf father and son. By the second class, sensei was late and looked sleep-deprived, but it was because he'd stayed up all night learning as much sign language as he could in case they came back for more.
Heh, I don't know if rap could be a calling for me, but it's interesting to play around with. I can sing only if I have the music. However, if I make up the song, I can sing it without. I don't know. I'm self-conscious about my singing, and it's gotten generally good reviews, but no one has been blown away.
I'm glad that nothing unsettling actually happened to you in foster care. I could see that being better than your mother being super unpredictable.
Yeah, I want to make the world better, and I feel like everyone falls through the cracks on some level. Especially hard-working people sometimes, like you said, they work themselves to death for something that was never even a fair chance for them.
Heh, the way you put it is pretty good. I don't think I don armour at all though. My smile is my armour. I use it when I'm being threatened. I can stay calm and still with a smile if someone's posturing, skipping around like a jacka-- and trying to taunt me. And if someone pulls out a weapon, I'll laugh. It's nothing new for me. I've seen a lot for a guy with a fairly normal life behind him. I guess I'm just not really afraid. I'd rather be flexible and effective. I'm not really cocky or conceited about it either though... I just know that if someone wants to threaten, I'm ready to be above that level
I actually like that comparison to philosophy. We always have the tools available, it's all in our heads. That's why I can only understand the forever-learning mindset.
I know what you mean. I feel like I've suffered too much, but if I get self-indulgent, all of it goes to waste. That's why I do want to help occasionally, in small ways. There's a lot of things that might help. Usually I just like to show my playful side. Everyone essentially wants to be having fun and to not have to feel bad, so hopefully it's good to see. When I can listen with that side, it's my best method I think. But I'm also ok with people assuming everything is a game to me. 😂 They're not far off the mark. Just don't want it to be at their expense.
I listened to that Linkin Park song, and it's a lot like the original but with a totally different depth. I really hadn't listened to Reanimation, so that was interesting. A lot more interesting than most remixes for sure.
I meant to recommend Robeson, not Tao of Now. Oh well. 😅
@Torean
I trust you had reactions to the songs ^_^ lyrics can be a bit mysterious, open to interpretation.
Underground - "I woke up underground" Born depressed. I have no memory of enjoying life as a child. It was incredibly bleak. It's like no matter what I said no-one understood me. I was just in a world I couldn't see. But something kept me going so I found my way underground. Eventually I found something solid, the search for meaning, and it was strange but grounding, like cold metal. In time the light I saw in life grew, then exploded. I felt intense euphoria, like I was floating. "Love, I see you now, you found me here, underground" it's like love itself found me during my darkest times and allowed me to move.
Listening to Godzilla by Kesha now, it is delightfully absurd xD I will check out Saul Williams, thanks for the suggestion!
Not atheist or Christian because reality doesn't carry the full story, that's deep! I too have trouble fitting into any one box, it's so limiting that way, and there's simply too much we don't know. I think there's something to all religions/spirituality, but it is annoying when those beliefs become disruptive for others. I too think the Bible is a little dangerous... there are certainly good messages in it and I would like to learn from them, but I think one should also be thinking on their own, coming to their own conclusions. I think a lot of people are angry at the concept of God, as if they are truly all-powerful, why did they allow so much suffering? My only solace when thinking of God is that there must be some plan that we can't fully understand. My faith is weak, I do lean on it from time to time, but sometimes it feels like believing in fairytales. These are things I'm still actively thinking about!
I totally relate to your experiences with love! It's like a craving of the other mixed in with fear. And I too feel woefully insufficient for anyone, but yes, I still want to try. I'm only human after all.
Your sensei sounds great! Learning a language like that is admirable. And that he guided you with care and passion is just lovely. It's a breath of fresh air compared to my friend's instructor, who was manipulative and abusive.
I'm no singer, but I love playing with it. Almost never in front of people, but definitely in the shower. You don't need to go to the moon in order to appreciate its beauty.
I really like your response to threat, because fear and terror shut one down. Your smile is certainly a weapon, a disarming one. I've been similar in the past, refusing to stoop to the level of bickering and choosing to laugh at it instead. People don't really know how to respond! I'm still refining my approach to threat, to fear, but I think I'll learn from you!
Self-indulgence in response to trauma isn't so good in my opinion. Like you, my experiences have only made me want to help, and it's in the small ways that really count. If one can make a personal difference, that's massive! Usually personal change requires some kind of enforcement of ideas from the status quo, so if an individual can achieve that, it's just special. And I agree, sometimes just being an example of a light shining in the darkness is enough to spark change.
Remixes are usually a miss for me, but Reanimation is my favourite Linkin Park album!
Okay, that's one reply in a splintered conversation. I will get to the other part at some point, but feeling torn between everything again!
That's very true, but I'm glad I asked about that one in particular. Actually, it feels really true for myself too. My childhood was anything but bleak, but I think a lot of it can be summed up by the oldies song (I don't know the artist or title), "I'm just a soul who's intentions are good, Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood!". I have a history of being misunderstood. Perhaps it's a chequered past at this point. 😂 I have a curse with that. But things did eventually become a lot more vivid to me philosophically (and painfully, I might add), but it's describe the search for meaning much like you would, it was and is euphoric.
I'm right there with you in what you're saying about the Bible and not fitting into one box. I've had someone argue with me, saying that I'm agnostic, and I was trying to say that it might be essentially true, but I don't self-identify that way. It just feels like it doesn't encompass my personal complication with it. 😂 But that said, I do feel quite a bit like those who are angry at God. I mean... My thing is this. Given reality, I basically conclude that God couldn't possibly be all-knowing and all-powerful in addition to being all-loving. I think it got weirder for me when I actually read the Bible as an adult... It doesn't read like how is was brought up with it, to say the least. A greater plan, I'm not sure about, but I'm prepared to create one as I go.
Heh, I feel the same. It's been a bit different for me since a certain point. Someone I had strong feelings for over 10 years, passed away in her sleep from seemingly nothing. I feel like I have some meaning in trying to find her again after this life. That one's probably weird to hear. It's made me a little more distant on romantic relationships, because it's hard to know where I stand with that given things that change in my waking life here.
Heh, he was a really great guy. I wish I could've kept going to the classes. I still learned a lot from him though. What did your friend's instructor do?
That's true about the singing, and I definitely have fun with it too. I downloaded a music mixing program too! I'm looking forward to seeing what I can do with it when I get a chance.
Yeah, the disarming smile tends to get the upper hand, if not outright creep out the opponent. 😂 I'm glad for people like you who get it, and try to bring it to a more positive level rather than bicker/fight. Though thanks to the Polish side of my family, it was hard to get used to how people get their feelings hurt in arguments. I guess it's kind of a Polish thing to have super heated arguments without personal-level hating the other person, and then just pick up totally friendly later on like nothing happened. Imagine my surprise when I found out that most of the world doesn't do the same. 😂
I get what ya mean about the one reply. I gotta come back for more later, but it's all open discussion to me, no need to worry about when on replies.
@Torean
I know the feeling of being misunderstood all too well. I fear I'm experiencing it a bit with my best friend... he's a little worried about me and my passion for writing. I think he'll understand in time though, I have faith.
I think humans yearn for meaning, for sense. It's nice to know it sparks something in you too! I honestly find it extremely hard to ignore.
I like that you defy definition. You make your own rules, if any! Truly free. Gives so much flexibility.
Your ideas on what a God would be like fascinate me. The very idea that anything could know literally everything doesn't sit well with me now that I think about it. Nothing seems to be set in stone. Planning as you go seems more logical.
I'm sorry about your tragic loss. That would have shaken me and I too would be thinking along those lines: where are you in the next life? I do hope you find happiness in life, this and the next, if that is indeed how it goes.
My friend's instructor made him and his mum work for him for pretty much slave labour, and got physically abusive when there was resistance. I don't know the whole story but it really left a scar on my friend. He ran into his instructor once down the street and my friend exploded, it was scary. He is normally very level-headed.
I'd love to hear the music of a fellow absurdist!
Some cultures seem to have accepted explosive arguments, and hold no grudge. I guess they just see it as a passionate form of communication. I'm on the other end of the scale... tension usually shuts me down. Imagine my surprise when I realised Australians are pretty upfront and confrontational! It's a learning experience.
I like how this conversation is going, makes me smile. I didn't expect it to branch like this! But it keeps me engaged. I just want to be more consistent, I don't want to let you down. I already feel bad making Kiara worry!
Why would he be worried about your passion for writing? You have thoughts that have already sparked a lot of dialogue and thoughts. I hope he does come to understand.
I feel like flexibility and searching are some of my strongest aspects. You're bringing out a lot of thoughts on that, and it's fun, I'm grateful for it.
That's another thing about God, is that everything seems to be part of one master plan. I maybe shouldn't get to heretical here, but I feel like what annoys me about the God's plan thing is the dogma of it. Believing in that sort of plan could be a strength as a gentle personal notion, but I think it's dangerous beyond that, because it justifies the suffering of those who don't have a voice to end the cycles of abuse that they're stuck in. Indeed, Christianity has been abused as a tool of control throughout history. Personally, it doesn't sit well with me at all though. I've seen too much; things I've personally experienced, or learned about through others. I guess I'm kind of unusual too. I pretty strongly feel like I'd pass up on the opulence, golden streets, and charcuterie boards of Heaven if even one person was sent to eternal torment for simply not believing. That might be a personal redemption thing. I used to worry about the souls of my loved ones all the time, and I was raised to believe that any cuss words were a sin, so I basically felt bad for listening to a lot of music because I felt like all of those songs were too impure to make it to heaven with me. Sad way of thinking, and I'm glad to leave it behind. 😂
Thanks, I... I dunno. A really selfish part of me feels like the idea of her and us is forever preserved... I would've screwed it all up in this life if I hadn't already... Actually, though, she never made me feel like I screwed things up even when I did. I don't know what the next life is or what I could be with her, but I do know that I'm excited by the notion of her getting to see who I am now, and getting to see who she is now, and saying all the things I was too afraid to say. Someday, I still have a cheesy Sonic the Hedgehog Valentine to put on her grave... It was one that I was too chicken to send when I was first falling for her back when we were teenagers. Either way, the next life has gotta have more for us than this one... That's how I feel. I just don't know how.
That sounds horrible... I don't know the details, but he saw the instructor again when he was older and exploded? What happened?
Heheh, absurdist music is the best. Maybe I'll share something I make, somehow, sometime. I've still barely gotten to play with it.
That's true, and I actually didn't know that about Australian culture. Is that where you are now? I feel like this has been brought up somewhere but I can't remember.
It makes me smile too, but seriously don't worry about all of that with me, you're not going to let me down. It's open anytime you stop in, which could be every day, any certain interval, any uncertain interval, or even if you fall off the earth for however long and for whatever reason, you don't have to worry about how to come back, I'll always welcome you. That said, I feel like it's easy to get overloaded here, so make sure not to burn yourself out!
@Torean
My friend sees my writing as a kind of early warning sign for a mental break. I wrote a lot leading up to my first and only episode over a decade ago, but this time it's reasonable. I think he is attached to a simpler version of me, one that lives somewhat conventionally without big thoughts. But I like this change... I've never felt more alive, more at peace.
I think religion is vulnerable to philosophy, and I think that's a good thing. If Jesus was indeed real, I do not think this current world was his vision. I believe this simply for the fact that we often do not love one another.
I also have trouble believing a loving God would condemn anyone to a place of punishment for eternity for any reason. It got me thinking about that place, and I think perhaps it is just a place of reflection, a stepping stone to something greater. A place of healing, a place where one can come to understand things. This is probably blasphemy, but as there is no certain knowledge I think it rightly should be debated. No-one should live in fear of such a place.
I just cannot perceive end. I think everything is cycles, including life. I fully believe you will have a chance to see loved ones again, and come to know things that were impossible to know in life.
When my friend saw his instructor that fateful day, he spewed vitriol. I can't remember the exact words but it put his instructor off and essentially caused him to flee. It happened pretty quickly, it was all said and done as we walked by each other. But my friend's voice boomed, it did not crack though. It was from a place of honesty and broken love.
Yep! I'm an Aussie mate, born and bred. We can be a bit cold sometimes, but are always keen to learn.
I did procrastinate on this reply, but it was always on my mind. Talking to you is fun and cathartic!
Oddly enough, I had a friend who was doing a lot of writing before he ended up in a mental institution for several months... But I don't think that's the case with you at all. I think the real warning sign is for all of it to me manic and obsessive, delusional. Yours is coming from a much more coherent and genuine place. In your case, I think it's more that you're growing a lot all at once, and you're making a really good thing out of it.
Heh, it disturbs me that people would consider that line of questioning blasphemy. I truly don't believe that this current world could be part of any "good" plan, but if it is, I couldn't justify it. Too many people caught up in too many cycles of abuse. Maybe the purpose of things being in cycles is that we can learn to dismantle what holds us back. I do believe that a place like you describe for eternity would actually make sense, and it only follows that such a place would exist.
It's weird being human. Like, it feels like we're meant for more. That said, I don't think it's possible for a person's journey to end in an eternity of suffering. Punishment can only serve to stop a behavior, and it's not necessarily the best effective method of doing so. But if an entire life could end with punishment, especially if it was pre-determined in some kind of "plan", then that existence couldn't be said to have a point at all, could it? I don't think the fear of it serves a purpose either, it just creates dysfunction.
Whatever happened, it seems like your friend handled that perfectly. Whether he practiced it or not, that's a lot of strength built up from what he suffered. That sounds a lot more painful. I'm glad he got a chance to say his piece.
That's cool, that makes you my first Aussie friend. Heh, it might be the opposite where I'm from, which is the southern US. Lots of warmth here, but there can be a lot of ignorance too. Definitely not everyone, probably not even half, but still, I'm at odds with where I live. I don't think I know that much about Australia in the grand scheme. I've explored a lot of it on Google Earth... Looks a lot like America actually, I found that kinda surprising.
And that's always ok to procrastinate. I'm probably about to log off for a bit, even though I've got other replies to send. I had to take a sick day today. I feel like someone took sandpaper to my tonsils. I really hope I don't need antibiotics...
You’re welcome. ;)
Ok ok fine, I’m leaving now XD
@jesusredeemedme2425
Always good to see you! Thanks for the introduction.
You’re welcome hehe! I’ll disappear now and leave y’all to your convo lol
@Torean
It makes me happy you can see my sanity. I think I know myself enough to identify early warning signs and seek help accordingly. I never want to experience what happened to me again, so at the first sign of oddness I will admit myself. I am... just a thinker at heart. I can't help it. Without following the lines of reason, I don't know what I'm doing. It's what allows me to write creatively too, which is fun and comforting.
If this is indeed according to some grand plan, I would like words with the creator. Surely there was another way. In infinite possibility, this was really the best outcome? I can't buy that.
I agree, I see no point in a life if it ends in eternal suffering. If there is some kind of suffering after life as punishment, I can only see it as a learning experience, much like it is sometimes painful to sit through class. I don't believe there's fire, I don't believe there's torment.
My friend's issue with his instructor is still unresolved, but at least he released some of the anger. Perhaps that's all the justice he needed, to be heard, to be felt.
To be honest, I'm not a quintessential Aussie! I lack the accent and common attitude. It is a nice place though. The social support services have saved my life.
I have an American friend! Although they moved lol. I can appreciate all cultures, but Americans are special to me. You have a lot of heart, passion. It's moving.
I'm sorry to hear of your sickness my new American friend. I am just getting over a common cold. I hate being sick! Take care of yourself.
I'm starting to feel a bit like you in that I don't think I can be defined. I sometimes feel agnostic, sometimes I have a lot of faith, and sometimes can't believe in God at all. I do like questioning God though. What do you think of this?
Because we are free, God cannot know everything. If God knew everything, our choices would not be choices - our actions would be set in stone. But God made us free, and while He may know of the ultimate destiny, he cannot know all that we will do.
I don't think God made a movie. I think he made a tree.
Heh, I think it takes one to know one. I'm honestly a lot the same way. Admittedly, you're better at expressing and. presenting your reason, and I need to learn how to better myself at that at some point. I definitely have the creative part, but sometimes I don't even know what logic I use until I backtrack and analyze.
What you said about a grand plan made me chuckle. You put that one perfectly. I'd also like words with a creator of this.
Right? Even if a being was pure evil, what purpose would eternal torment have? If said being cannot learn, what's the point? On that note though... How do you feel about ghosts/hauntings?
Sometimes that's all that's needed. No matter what happens between them, it probably can't right the wrongs of the past. Maybe if the instructor learned something from that experience it'd be even better.
How would you describe the common attitude there? I'm glad to hear it's a nice place like that, I've never gotten to learn much, so I'd love to know your perspective. I definitely appreciate all cultures too! It's also often fun and interesting to hear what people around the world say about Americans. I've heard a lot of people say something like what you said. Confidence gets talked about a lot too. Anything that isn't positive is usually about how American tourists act or American politics.... I find the latter particularly disturbing myself.
Oof, I hope you're feeling better by the time you read this. I feel worse today than yesterday, so I'ma crash here and there. Gotta feed my guinea pigs and make a couple of stops in town soon, after that, I'll have rest for a while.
That's very true, if we have actual free will then he can't actually know what we'll do. A tree would be a really good metaphor. As for what you asked, I think it makes a lot of sense. Even being called Agnostic is a little too much of a definition. Its like... I definitely believe in life after death, and that there's some truth in basically all religions, but it can't be exactly what is said in the Bible either. I think there needs to be a different term, and "undecided" doesn't really cut it either. 😂 I almost feel like there's a condescension in that term, though I have marked that box before.
@Torean
If you want to get better at logic and reasoning, you could do a course of some kind. Or just look things up. Learning about all the fallacies was really fun for me and it's good mental exercise. That being said, I'm not the best at logic. And to get better at reason, just keep talking! I'm flattered you think I'm okay at it. You are doing what I did, and that's just thinking. I think you are exceptionally talented in reasoning.
Life does seem to be learning. It seems that's a trait we all share. Pure evil and eternal torment... for what purpose? If reality is geared to improve over time, I can't see how that would be reasonable. It is a state of stagnation, and things grow.
I'm not sure how I feel about ghosts/hauntings. I think my opinion has been tainted by those trying to make a living off the supposed phenomenon. I will have to think more on it, I cannot decide on it at the moment. That being said, I think an honest, sane person's eyes do not lie to them. I am interested in what my fellow human has to say.
The common attitude... more abrupt than I am. Not unkind, just unrestrained curiosity. I want to know things too, but I'm perhaps too polite for my own good. There's more to it, but it's hard to describe. I will think more on this too!
Americans certainly appear confident! They have a lot of faith in themselves, which makes me happy. Things would be worse if there was more self-doubt. The politics can be a little scary.
You know, I was meant to ask you about your guinea pigs when we first started talking! Kiara recommended it. So, what are they like?
Truth in all religions with not one being entirely correct is something I tend to believe. But yes... in addition to the "undecided" box, there needs to be an "other" box. I'm not sure even that captures your stance on things!
I could definitely review on fallacies, that is a good mental exercise. I do Lumosity games too lately. supposedly every 10 points is like 1 IQ point. I'm at 1750 though, so I dunno. 😅 And thank you! I don't know how well I present stuff honestly. I'm definitely not as organized.
I agree with the point on stagnation. Things do grow, even if incredibly slowly or with tendency in the wrong direction.
I've had so many paranormal experiences that I know something's up. But you're right about people creating problems by making a living off it. I couldn't stand Ghost Adventures, and I really wanted to think it would be good.
Right on, I like that insight. I think I come across as more polite than most around me too. Unrestrained curiosity huh... I could stand to act a little more like that probably. 😅
I don't know if I'd describe Americans as confident, per se, but I feel like I might understand how an outside perspective would think so. I think a lot of people here try to use it if a situation feels uncertain. I might describe them/us as a little more "based", like we don't think as much about what others think. But that's really general. It's a big place here, and there are definite general differences between regions.
My guineas? Nessa (in my pic) is the first one I really connected with and she's definitely the pack leader, always in the front. She's so expressive that I can read what she's thinking just by watching her. She also likes going around to talk to the others, pretty constantly. Sweets (aka l'il Pizza) looks almost like a sleek rat. She's always in the back, by far the most fearful, but she always looks so cool. She acts really motherly to Akira, my third. Akira is the hardest to explain, she's all over the place. Tends to act a lot like Nessa, she's the biggest food thief, and she can be sassy, she won't hesitate to spray pee at the others. They're all really close with me nowadays. They all sit up close to watch videos with me and much hay... And if I just sit in there, they throw loving vibes my way somehow. It's like they have healing powers.
Yeah, even the "other" box is questionable to us. 😂 Maybe we need an "other-other"
@Torean
Lumosity hey? That sounds intriguing! I might just get into it myself. I'm especially interested in improving my memory.
I find our chats to be the thing I procrastinate most on here on 7 Cups. I think that's because you are so well-reasoned, I must be my best in order to converse with you. Sorry about that! I just have a lot of respect for you and your time. I want you to get back what you put in.
My dad was telling me about a paranormal experience I told him about when I was 5. I have no memory of it, but I've never been an attention seeker. Lately my thinking has led me to believe that truly great and strange things can happen. I'm not sure how I feel about that realisation... I just hope there is reason for it, that we can learn about it and explain it. I'd love to hear about your experiences as it is exactly the kind of thinking I like, exploring the edges of reason.
I find it really hard to describe Australian culture, and in turn I think it would be hard to describe any culture generally. I think you can say some things, but you yourself don't really fit into a box...!
Thanks for describing your lovely companions! It made me laugh a little :P life is really full of personality. They're all so different! Akira is interesting to me, something about chaos keeps life lively. I do wish she wouldn't pee at others...! I fully believe in the healing power of pets. I currently have none. I'm not allowed any where I live. There used to be a resident cat, gorgeous coat and eyes, free spirit, but I don't know what happened to them. Life was better with them around. I gave them all the treats I could.
Recently I've been feeling all my perspectives on life competing for attention. My inner atheist thinks I'm being a bit silly and should stick to pure reason. My agnostic side wants to live in mystery, and explore all perspectives. I'm not especially happy with the side of me that thinks about God... I can't help but have a little faith as it's based in my reasoning. It's not blind. It's conflicting because it *is* comforting but feels intellectually lazy. I would tell you and others about my thoughts, but I don't want to push that kind of thinking. It's really important to me that people reach their own conclusions. I may post about it one day, but I will always end by proclaiming that it's just my subjective truth. So, I don't know where I stand...! "Other-other" seems about right!
I have been thinking of utmost simplicity lately. That everything is explainable and therefore has a reason. That in order for reason to function there must be time. Thus, in the beginning there must have simultaneously been time (spacetime) and reason. That they must have always existed as, if nothingness were real, no thing would ever have been created. I guess quantum mechanics could explain things popping into existence from nowhere, but even that seems to be able to be reasoned about. So, I sit at the edge of reason, just in awe.
I've been focusing more on poetry and short stories since. Those things are more satisfying in a way. I can't help but philosophise though! I don't know how else to be.
Lumosity is a pretty cool app, some days I like it more than others. If you don't pay, you get 3 random games per day without getting to choose.
That makes a lot of sense, and no worries. I definitely want to have a moment and have something to say too. I don't have the same capacity for replies every day, Ive just had a bit more time lately on certain days.
Hmm, so paranormal experiences. I'll start with just a couple of them right now. My dad used to direct plays (he never let me be in them), but I would get to go to rehearsals at the theater sometimes. They had a lot of haunting stories there, but I ended up with some of my own. The ghost was thought to be on the second floor, and I'd go ghost hunting all the time. One time, I found a secret passage behind a dresser and there was a knife sitting in there. Another, I was using the bathroom upstairs and I was washing my hands after, and I got the worst feeling when I looked in the mirror. I kept watching the mirror, expecting something to appear in it, and I walked sideways to the door and as soon as my hand was about to touch the doorknob, it clicked. I couldn't get it open, and I got on the floor, to be out of view of the mirror. Just as I was really freaking out, it clicked again, and I burst out, finding absolutely no one there. Another time, we were all together backstage, and suddenly there was a loud slamming noise. I went to investigate, and every door on the second floor was wide open (they weren't previously). Another really weird one was in my backyard. For some reason I was walking along my fence, looking at the moon above it. For a moment, it got obscured, so I stepped back to see what was there. It was like there was something I couldn't quite see in the way in that spot, and when I stepped back and really looked, I saw a small translucent humanoid figure, and though I couldn't see its eyes, I could tell it was turning to look at me. I heard a thump on the ground on the other side of the fence and running footsteps. Whatever it was, I scared it off, but that one was really weird.
That's true, culture is definitely hard to describe, especially in it. It's more useful to see what outside takes say, and then maybe inside responses to those takes.
Heh, Akira is so full of life. She's been really affectionate and wanting to spend time with me lately. If anything happens that she doesn't like or understand, she runs to Sweets, and Sweets acts motherly to her, and gives her licks on the face. They're only a year apart, but it's really cute to watch.
I get what you mean by the competing perspectives. I usually want to explore and enjoy mystery, but there are parts of me that want to stay grounded with logic. I don't care for the lingering feelings for God that I get either. I stand for true good, and believe in a greater person. If that was Jesus, I'd stand with him, but I feel like the Bible indicates the Holy Trinity in much darker ways... And I don't like what Christianity has done to humanity.
I wonder about reason. I don't really think of time as linear anymore, and I don't know what that means for reason, or what it means for anything. I feel like different realities are very possible, but I can't just buy into that either.
What short stories have you been writing? Those sound interesting.
@Torean
Downloading Lumosity now before I forget (Kiara would be horrified by the number of apps on my phone).
Thanks for sharing your paranormal experiences. Truly food for thought! That you say these are only a few examples makes me think you've lived a very interesting life. Secret passages with knives... doors closing... doors opening... mysterious creatures in the night... what could it all mean? That you are so sound of mind gives you credibility. I cannot currently fathom the reason for such things. I kind of wish my life had been so spectacular!
By far the strangest experience I had was when I was in the mental ward. I felt entirely unlike myself, yet somehow perfectly me. Nothing made sense, but in a way it all did. The weirdest thing to happen was a bubbling sensation I felt in my head. It took me higher and higher, yet wasn't intense. I felt myself constantly falling apart and reforming. It's hard to put into words... it was like I was becoming real, that the lucid dream of life was turning into reality.
As soon as we define culture, it changes. I love learning about them as there is always something new.
I love hearing about your loved companions! That they've formed their own way of life, with you included, is really special. It makes me want a pet or two, but I'm not sure what, or when. I need to move out of this place so I even have the option.
Mystery is fun. It is from the unknown that I draw inspiration. But I, like you, place great value in logic. I don't want to be lost in the clouds. I want things to make sense.
I too stand for true good. If Jesus was actually real and his message was "love one another", I can vibe with that. But if he was real, does he know what chaos he caused? Christianity was supposed to be for good, but has it achieved that? I think it has been good for some, but downright evil in some ways. Being philosophically minded and interested in whether or not Christianity is based in distorted thinking, I can't help but pick apart the bible. At the very least it is food for thought and inspires some interesting poetry. It makes me perhaps heretical... but, it is in my nature to question all things. One day I may tell you what I think of the trinity, but as my faith is weak and constantly shifting, I usually find myself dismissing such thoughts as needless fluff. I don't want to cloud your beautiful mind with what is likely nonsense!
My best description of time comes from Doctor Who: wibbly wobbly. In a way I think it is all possible directions, every possible space. And reason, well... having it be the mode of my thought, I can't help but think it innate to existence. That is bias, right?
There's The Boy, which I posted here, about a child learning about loss and meaning. The Woman, about a lady questioning what is real. The Traveller, who only knew light but learned true happiness through experiencing darkness. The Man, a story about myself and how I learned to answer "Who am I?" The Choice, a story about a couple who taught a lost soul how to be free. And The Lovers, which I also posted here, about the transformative power of love. I hesitate to post all I write here as I don't want to saturate the forum... I have a personal site where I post all my writing to, but I rarely share it as I feel some of my ideas are controversial. Plus, they're all works in progress. If I posted the link so one could see my stories, they would be able to find my poetry/philosophy too, which may be off-putting. I openly state I encourage independent thought, but I fear judgement. Perhaps it is my rejection sensitivity dysphoria preventing me from sharing all my thoughts.
I like you, Torean the mysterious. You get me thinking of the paranormal, and then ground me by reminding me to think logically. I wish I had the privilege of knowing you in real life! Those that know you are lucky.
Heheh, the question is if you actually use the apps. 😁 I go back and forth on whether I should delete bitlife... I kinda hate it most of the time.
As for the paranormal stuff, you're definitely right about my life being interesting. 😅 I'm glad I have credibility, because those are just scratching the surface. Dunno if you've played Fallout New Vegas, but you can basically choose if you want to have weird stuff happen to you. I apparently have that on in my life. I talked about it in another thread, but yesterday, someone knocked on our door, left a turtle there, and ran away. I had to take care of it, make sure that it was wild, and take it to a nearby pond. Like, I assume a kid did that, but I dunno. It wasn't a pet.
That does sound intense about the feeling you got in the mental ward. Its a strange place to be, and who knows what they medicate you with. I've been there a couple of times myself. Met one of my best friends there and dated her for a while, still friends now, though it's one of those where we rarely talk.
For sure, culture is one of the funnest things to learn about. It's hard to imagine what it's like to grow up in a different one, but that's one of the funnest parts.
Pets can be really good, but I guess make sure you know what you're doing. The guineas were a huge adjustment, because a lot of store-sold cages and half of the food they sell are not good for them. It blew my mind how simple they make it seem, when giving them a good life isn't as simple. What kind of pet would you want though?
Heheh, we work in mysteries and logic. That's nearly the opposite of what so many people in this world seem to do. I wonder why they're like that.
I feel like reading the New Testament was what really put me off of Christianity. If it was ever about loving people, why insist on spreading the religion? All it does is create oppression over everyone else, and definitely keep their own people on their hands and knees to whoever is in power. I did read about thinking biased, and I feel like people in power use Christianity to keep everyone in those biases, because people resist questioning what supposedly comes from God. Anyway, don't worry about being heretical, I'm always down for a little heresy myself. 😁. I'm curious about what these thoughts about the Trinity are, so feel free to share if you want to.
Lol, I dunno if thinking reason is innate is truly a bias, but the Doctor Who comparison does make sense to me.
Ooh, controversial ideas are exciting to me. I feel like a lot of my poetry is too controversial for here, let alone my stories. What you've posted so far is really good and thought-provoking, if not even mind-challenging, so I think you've got at least a handful of people like me who would vouch for you. And I get it, judgment can be scary and excessive. Independent thought is what I stand for too, it gives me hope. I'm in a similar boat though, I want to share things here, and I'm just not sure if it'll get taken badly.
Aw shucks, I like you too! Anyone who knows you in real life is lucky too. I'm really trying to be someone who people feel lucky to know, because I didn't used to be that, I caused a lot of issues. Now, usually the worst I do is be annoying and obnoxiously sassy. 😅
@Torean
I do not use 95% of the apps on my phone. A lot of games I played for 5 minutes and then lost all interest.
I have played FNV! I don't think I ever finished, but got close. Got side tracked trying to perfect my arsenal. I was always curious about Wild Wasteland. I must say, you come across very level-headed for someone who always has it on. Thank you for taking care of the mysterious and lost turtle, poor thing.
I didn't know what I was on in the ward for the most part. Sometimes I would ask, but the names made me laugh, and I was in no state to learn their effects. I met a wonderful friend in the ward, we are close.
Putting myself in the shoes of someone from a different culture is fun but challenging. Worth it though.
Wise words about pets. Some of the food they push is downright bad. One must have their wits about them if they truly care. I'm drawn to cats, but I would want precisely two so they had like company. I'm not sure I'm ready for the responsibility. If I could befriend a local bird I would be happy.
There's a notion going around that we are actually getting dumber, going backwards. I'm not sure I agree, but a lot of people don't seem to think clearly. It's why I like this place so much - well-reasoned people, for the most part.
Christianity is supposed to be about love, from my understanding. I haven't read the New Testament. Maybe I should. But yes, people should always be questioning. We live in time so things change, and we are built to reason so why do people resist it? A book shouldn't dictate life, it's not that simple. One can draw meaning and inspiration from books, but should use their brain to make good choices.
In regards to the Trinity, I believe the Holy Spirit represents time itself. I think I just like time, and it makes more sense than the nebulous concept of spirit.
If you ever want to share a story without being judged, I'm happy to read. I also like a bit of controversy, as long as it leads to rational discourse. New things can be controversial, but because of time, new things always happen. Sometimes big things. One should be ready for controversy.
I too haven't always been so good. I have caused pain and confusion, and part of my reason to live is to make up for past shortcomings. I still make mistakes, but I'm committed to acting out of kindness and love. I'd take annoying and obnoxiously sassy over boring any day, it shows you are engaged with and interested in life.
I'm going to splinter the conversation here by posting another reply about a dream I just had. I don't know who else to tell. I'm sorry if our conversation goes off the tracks. I think there's a reply from you here somewhere I failed to respond to as I couldn't keep up with two conversations in the same thread.
Heheh, I'd probably have more apps if I had a ton more space.
Yeah, I never got to finish FNV either, I was playing it at a friend's house. I remember I was playing a luck based character, and I named her Pepper for some reason. And I'm glad I at least seem level-headed. 😁 I've been walking back to the spot I let the turtle go. Maybe I'll see him again, but there's a lot of tall plants near there.
Heh, yeah the names are weird. And awesome that you made a friend in there too. I feel like the relationship I had with that girl might've been the healthiest one I'd had. The weird thing is that it was an open relationship, which I was new to, and didn't really take advantage of. She had a sugar daddy she was still seeing. Sometimes that bothered me a little, sometimes not so much.
I kind of got to grow up with Iranian culture, I was over at my neighbor's a lot. They never really explained anything to me though. I guess they figured I was a kid and that I didn't really need to know. I wish they did though.
I had two cats at one point, and they definitely didn't get along, but they were wonderful. As for local birds, do you get crows there? I've taken to feeding crows. If you befriend one, it'll somehow put in a good word with you with the others too. The reverse is true also. Make one crow enemy and they'll all hate you.
I don't think people are getting dumber, but it sure feels like it sometimes. I'm glad people are better here for the most part too.
Christianity is supposed to be about love, so why couldn't it have also been about loving neighboring people's that have different beliefs? And I agree. Even if it is dogmatic creed, it's supposed to be something that actually works. In reality, it shifts the status quo in favor of corruption though.
I'm trying to wrap my mind around what you mean. The Holy Spirit being time itself...
And thanks, I might take you up on that. 😁 I feel like almost anyone would judge the story I'm writing, but I wonder if that's true. It's working well... I just feel super weird about showing it.
I'm the absolute same way. I'm kind of trying to make up for mistakes, but more than that, I'm trying to take responsibility by learning and by trying to live by example. And be well-reasoned about it like you say. Heh, glad you can deal with the annoyance and sass. Actually, I think we'd be laughing together a lot.
And that's cool, don't worry about being on the tracks. I don't remember what I said specifically messages ago, just general themes at best. Plus our messages have been pretty long, which isn't bad, I can just see the need to splinter it.
@Torean
I am working on cleaning up my phone. One step at a time. I am always curious about apps I'm missing out on. That's why I downloaded Lumosity.
I had a cat named Pepper, although that was her old name. I renamed her Katten. I don't know why the previous owner gave her up... she was the sweetest. I hear Luck in FNV can get you far. Nice to see a stat like that actually be useful. I hope you get to see turtle friend again!
I too was briefly in an open relationship (not the person I met in the ward). I also didn't pursue anyone else. She ended up falling for a friend of mine. It was a good relationship for a long time, so it was crushing the way it ended. We briefly reconnected but there was nothing left, not even option of friendship.
Kids are sponges, full of curiosity. It would have been nice to experience different cultures then. I wasn't so lucky.
I used to know someone with a whopping 10 cats! It was amazing how well they got along. That is luck right there. There are crows here! I see a lot of magpies. I have heard how one can have a reputation with these birds. I don't know how they communicate, does anyone?
I agree, Christianity, if about love, should welcome different beliefs. It has corrupted a lot.
Let me see if I've even got this right (I know little). The trinity: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. To me, it speaks of the foundation of reality. My interpretation is that the Son is reason itself. The Holy Spirit is time itself. They are co-dependent, cannot exist without each other, are eternal. Reason gives time reason, time gives reason motion. Together, they form conclusion. Reason leads to truth, knowledge. The embodiment of these concepts is the Father, which then creates the rest, imbuing all with time and reason. That's just my take. It doesn't make sense to me otherwise.
If you're not comfortable sharing your story, there is no shame in that. Of course, I would love to see where your mind goes, but some things are private, or may not be ready for the world. I will never judge you. You are free, and I want you to be unashamed in being yourself.
I am a lifelong learner. I have to be because of my bad memory. I often have to relearn things. It used to get me down. However, if I can change my *heart*, things stick. I too think we would likely vibe!
I will try my best to keep on track. At some point I may condense my reply into a single message so it's easier.
Right on, that's the best way. How's Lumosity been for you so far? I just freaking love the coffee game... I just wish that particular one was always available for free.
My cats were named Nutmeg and Cinnamon (named by my girlfriend at the time). I usually called them Butters and MiniBoo respectively. They were really sweet too, despite MiniBoo's constant mischief. And actually, I have to agree. I ran an even better Luck/Agility/Strength character in Fallout 4. I had a super powerful fist weapon, and I could sneak in a room, go into VATS, and basically warp around the room, taking everyone out with a single punch. 😂
That is a really *** way for a relationship to end. I'm sorry, you definitely didn't deserve that.
Heh, I was definitely a sponge. My mom used to call me Johnny 5, referencing the movie Short Circuit, because he was a robot always wanting "input", basically learning stuff. I didn't get much else culturally, but my Grandma was friends with a couple that owned a Chinese restaurant. They taught me how to use chopsticks, they took me back in the kitchens and showed me how food was made, and they invited us to a couple of Chinese New Year parades. They were super nice. They also opened another restaurant at some point, before they had to retire. They invented these super good fried rice balls, and they had the absolute best sushi. Also, a super cool fountain and fishtank in the middle. I miss it, nowhere is ever gonna truly beat that place.
That's cool, you should befriend some! And I have no idea how they communicate. I think it's still a mystery how they can really communicate all those details.
That has gotta be the most left-field and interesting take on the holy Trinity. I feel like how God and Jesus are depicted in the Bible has less to do with reason... Maybe the true Trinity is above such characters. 😅 Sorry if that's TOO blasphemic.
I can kinda tell you why my story is controversial for now. I'm trying to do something different. I've been challenging myself to write female main characters without falling into typical things men do while writing them. This one is different though. Eevee (age 22, real name Evelyn, but she's a Pokemon fan), her slightly older (and gay) cousin Luke, and her mom are driving into the middle of nowhere countryside to meet a guy her mom met online. He's a total creep, but the town he's in has even creepier things going on. Eevee is dealing with being on probation for a previous misunderstanding, and also with extremely conflicting feelings about having been r--ed by a total stranger in the past year. In the town, they find roadkill with shiny coins on it. When she's trying to investigate what's going on with coins being on animal corpses, she gets kidnapped by the person doing it. On top of that, when she escapes, she ends up falling asleep and entering a strange place in her dreams that the townspeople go to while they're asleep, and it's like the Garden of Eden, and she runs into an evil being that manifests itself as people she knows there. Anyway, I'm working on how it all comes together, but somehow it's working too well. 😅 For example, I didn't realize originally that the name "Eevee" was so close to "Eve"...
I think you're doing incredibly well and making the right things stick!
And I get whatcha mean, we can message however it makes sense.
@Torean
I tried Lumosity. I did pretty well on Speed Match, pretty poorly on Train of Thought, and decently on Memory Matrix. It's exactly the kind of brain training I was looking for! I will stick to the free version for now - three games a day is enough for me at the moment.
Cats get all the cool names. I especially like your nicknames. Katten had many nicknames. One was just a licence plate. One was electroencephalograph. My favourite was Romper Stomper Snail Chomper. And that sounds like an epic character in Fallout 4. I love what one can do with builds... makes me think of my builds in Baldur's Gate 3 and Divinity Original Sin 2.
I probably didn't deserve that end, no. I would have preferred an open and honest discussion, but she chose to be underhanded. I don't think I was ready for a relationship... I opened it as I felt I wasn't giving enough, wasn't interesting enough. I didn't know myself then.
I haven't seen Short Circuit, but you definitely get a lot of input and learn a lot! I don't think I know how to properly use chopsticks. I like them though. It's cool you saw Chinese culture. I love their writing. It is art in itself. I do like sushi, but it's hard to get super good stuff where I am. I think salmon with avocado is my favourite, with a bit of wasabi and soy sauce. I do hope you end up finding an even cooler restaurant, but it seems a special memory, hard to replace. I remember really enjoying a particular soup at a place once. In hindsight, it wasn't that good, but nothing can replace the feeling of having the best soup of my life.
I took a picture of a crow (raven? Not sure). It got quite close. Then I saw it requesting bread from someone. They seem smart and kind.
Be blasphemous all you want, friend. The mind should be used, everything should be examined and questioned. While I think everything is sacred, at the same time nothing is.
That sounds like the kind of story I would read! It's wonderful when lovely little coincidences pop up, such as with Eevee's name being close to Eve. The best stories, in my opinion, explore the very edges, and it sounds like you are exploring many edges. No point being plain if you want to stand out.
I agree, 3 games a day seems like more than enough. And train of thought is hard! Im almost at the last level of it, and sometimes I can do it, but usually I feel like even trying is a sad joke. 😂
Lol, I like the nicknames. You should hear the songs I make up for my pets. My guineas have 3 songs, one based on a Chris Cornell song, one based on a Final Fantasy 8 track, and one based on a Streets of Rage 2 track.
That makes a lot of sense. I've been a lot of insecure people in my past, so it seems. It does make relationships difficult.
Yeah, it'll be pretty hard to replace. 😅 Salmon with avocado is a good favorite though. That might be my 3rd pick. My number one is unagi (eel), and second is spicy yellowtail rolls.
They are smart and kind. Make a strong enough friendship with them and they'll bring you trinkets they pick up. Who knows, you could get something valuable that way.
Strongly agreed, question everything. That's a good point too. Everything is sacred yet nothing is. Kind of plays into my absurdist personality very well. 😁
Im glad you think it does sound interesting! And I've got a take that to heart I think. I need to make sure that I see standing out as more of a positive thing.
@Torean
I just had a very strange dream, where I saw a time of people new but old, advanced but primitive. I can't remember it all, but I dreamed I was a different person, one that helped God help everyone, and it ended well. But then it unwound, and I could not retain my memories. I knew where God was initially, bound beneath a church, chained to a mechanism that caused him to scream in agony every time the bell tolled. I wanted to find him at first, but he was a shadow of his former self, and I couldn't see the point in trying to talk to a shadow. So I went on with my day, seeing light in people and helping them achieve their dreams. But the screams echoed in my mind until I woke, when I felt compelled to write this poem:
Echoes of God's screams
Haunt my dreams
What could it mean?
What could it mean?
Visions of a different time
Where He is found
But it unwinds
I found Him bound
Beneath the Church
There was an end
Good at first
Then despair sends
A clear word
From heaven above
The first word
Reason, of love
I didn't mention it, but there were clear feelings of being in quintessential *** for a time. Where pain was intense and looped, where my suffering meant nothing and I didn't learn.
I think I've been thinking of God too much, but to me it opens the door to tasty philosophy. I want to know if believing in God is based in distorted thinking, for if it is, we should stop the madness. The concept seems deeply embedded in human consciousness, and I think that's curious.
I always question my faith. I think if God is real, he would want one to simply live their life and use their brain.
I think your conclusions and philosophy on this make a lot of sense to me. And your dream makes a lot of sense to me too. That is a powerful image, him being chained BENEATH the church, screaming in pain at every toll of the bell. Maybe that's what its really like, if there truly is a good God, somehow bound and helpless by the fact that the Christian religion is so corruptible and often goes far away from reason and love. I couldn't imagine the kind of pain that a good God could be feeling, knowing what goes on in this world.
@Torean
It was an intense dream!
I don't know if you replied to my other reply, where I said I would splinter the conversation. I click the "load more" button, but then the button disappears and the reply doesn't load. I have experienced a few glitches on this site... I hope things aren't getting lost. I'll see if it's any different on my laptop at some point.
Thank you for reflecting on my dream and poem. I think if God feels in any way similar to us, he would cry at the state of Christianity.
I think you already replied to my reply on that one. I don't think things are getting lost, it just sometimes gets held up for a bit.
It's refreshing to have a discussion like that and find ourselves feeling the same way. I'm surrounded by people that would be offended by talking about God in senses like that. I really do feel like it's necessary though, that a good God would want us to
@Torean
You are very refreshing! It's great being able to freely express oneself without judgement.
If there is a good God (which I question daily), surely they would want us to talk. If there is no God, I believe the concept of God can make people better. It causes one to think of the power of compassion. It causes one to think of the meaning and purpose of things. Meaning and purpose, I believe, should come from within, in the end. Of course, faith provides a sense of such things. But I have a lot of respect for the moral atheist, as their values are generated through reason alone. A radical nihilist that chooses to be good in the face of meaninglessness is a great marvel.
Very much likewise! I don't like being judged, so I stay away from most judgment in my own mind.
I think the part about compassion is the most important part, mostly because we always search for meaning and practice, and usually try to have some sort of faith, religious or no. But compassion, like the concept that anyone could be forgiven... I think that gets lost in the fear. Christians worry about the souls of others, which isn't bad in itself... But I strongly feel like the concept of having to believe is the worst condition that could be put on love, especially from a God. It means that questioning either gets discouraged or minimized to a degree... It also means that anyone outside the faith isn't accepted the same, even when some Christians really are compassionate. But it always ends up the same. The Bible is used as a weapon of control, and the majority will always believe a corrupt leader who claims to be religious. That's the biggest reason I had to step away from Christianity, and God as well. If God is indeed what he's supposed to be, then there's still no excuse for the Bible, and the tragedies it's caused or helped along. That's kinda where I'm at with it.
On a personal level, I do believe Christianity can be good, as well as any personal philosophy that resonates with us and helps us develop positive values and character. But questioning and finding our own meaning... At the moment, I feel like it's always gotta be organic, you know? What about you?
@Torean
Without compassion, I don't see how things could work. A world without it? I can't even imagine. I truly think we wouldn't be here. My life relies on the compassion of others.
A world with more compassion? That excites me. Faith can drive it, sure. But some with faith lack it. Sometimes I read the bible (very rarely), and some things people live by are alarming, and contradict the core message of compassion. Women should not be silent and blindly obedient, they should be free, expressive, and autonomous. Homosexuality shouldn't be demonised. I don't believe one can choose their sexuality, and the Christians that make others live in shame should be ashamed.
If a good God exists, and they created the universe with intent and purpose, how does it make sense that they would hate any part of their creation? Sure, some things only a God could forgive, but to live by doctrine without question, in my opinion, is quite dangerous. I have been held to my past self, and it is a prison like no other. I would much rather think freely, having a healthy respect for the past while looking to the future. The bible may have once served humanity... but does it still? Like you said, it's too often used as a weapon.
The faithless deserve acceptance. In fact, the moral and compassionate atheist is a marvel to behold. Their values are self-generated, and to be good based solely on one's own reasoning is admirable.
I strongly believe that the meaning of life varies from person to person. If it were just one thing, some would necessarily not be living meaningful lives. I think everyone's life is meaningful. Maybe not always good though. Meaning-making is, in my view, a human right and a basic need. It should be organic, I agree, not based on any book or opinion of another.
That's true, without the compassion that there is, everything would be ugliness on the surface, and even uglier beneath that.
I like the way you put this. How could a good God hate part of their own creation? Homosexuality should be met with understanding, but at the very least, not demonizing it. I feel really sorry for Trans people lately too. They have a lot of real issues and deal with a lot of hate, yet the ones who are fighting for their rights are usually drowned out by the extremely vocal minority that's basically demanding immediate rights on levels that women don't even fully have. I believe everyone deserves equal rights, period... I just wonder what messages are even getting through.
Some things only a God could forgive huh... Maybe that's true. The past self can be a prison for anyone, but whether faith or other help can guide us, we still have to be willing to put our own work into it. That might be why I think the organic part is so important. Otherwise, we won't be capable of really speaking or understanding the right things.
Overall, hate for outside groups becomes the real shame. If we're anything at all, we need to be able to come together on some level. I have to work hard at that too though... Mostly because I'm trying not to hate groups that live by hate... Groups that won't hear anything communicated to them that's outside the echo chamber of like-minds theyre used to.
@Torean
I like your take on compassion. It applies to the self, too.
God or no God, we do not have perfect knowledge. If there is a plan, it is not known with certainty. It requires faith. So, I reckon we should try to forge a better future for ourselves, and try to be understanding of each other's differences. Without perfect knowledge or an apparent plan, and the necessity that we must all be different, it is a wonder that we can work together at all.
I agree with your stance on homosexuality. And trans people face great hardship... I don't think I know enough to comment in-depth on the circumstances of things, but the way some people use their hatred is disturbing.
What is life if it has no part in creation? Assuming no God, then the mere act of trying to better ourselves is inherently beautiful. To live bravely in the face of the chance that there is no grand meaning to things is noble. Assuming a God, that is, an omniscient being, a totality of knowledge, then one must ask: how does that come to be, what does it mean, and what is its purpose?
To know everything means knowing the sensation of learning. There are infinite things to learn, and so an omniscient being would have to encompass total knowledge of this infinite process of learning. It is a paradox, because a thing that knows everything does not learn.
If an omniscient being creates a thing that steps through this infinite process of learning, the paradox is resolved. It can step through its creation, like a lucid dreamer, forging a reality that forever is coming to understand all there is to know.
If it understands reason perfectly, it can see how things will play out while stepping through its creation. It can see the the totality of infinite time and understands the infinite scope of reason, and so strives to understand all.
Whether such a being is wholly good is up for debate. It would be the cause of all things, good and bad.
Life that has free will, a part in creation, is more beautiful to me. If we are wholly alone and there is no real point, it is some solace at least that we can feel happiness and strive for better things. If there is some cosmic force that is working with us for the good of all, that is hard to understand, but can be a comfort.
Hate is scary. You can hate how bad things are and strive for positive change. You can also let hate drive destruction. It is a shame when people let hate consume them. It is certainly something to overcome, but I'm not sure what would lighten their feelings.
True. I'm starting to think compassion is kinda the most beautiful part of our existence. Like, I woke up too early this morning, in kind of a bad mood, because I was sleeping on my arm wrong... But when I got up to use the restroom, I could hear the guinea pigs in the next room. I checked on them and they were running around and playing, trying to get my attention. It turned my mood around, and I feel like taking care of them has taught me a lot about compassion. Like, they're still terrified of me because of my size, but they're really expressive in how they feel about me. Kind of like, they're ready to bridge the gap between our species since I am too. As long as I'm pushing for balance in general, I feel more balanced too. Balance between people is just a lot harder sometimes.
I'm going out of order here, but it's interesting to think of an Omnicient being's learning paradox. I feel like omnicience could easily beget perfect harmony and have no need for learning for itself or anything in the world. But our growth, despite this not being the case, is beautiful. We have compassion, resilience, and growing understanding. Too many people perpetuate cycles that destroy those things though, for their own gain, or because they are unwilling to stand against what they themselves have been through. We can try to give those people compassion, and it might work, but I feel like I've spent too much of my life wasting compassion on the concept of God. I refuse to make excuses for a being who would allow things like pedophilia, the Holocaust, the trail of tears, racism... And not only allow things like that, but have the nerve to proclaim them as some kind of better plan. There's no greater good, when even Heaven feels too little, too late. It's not just pain, our very "souls", or whatever you call our inner being, becomes damaged and ugly and unrecognizable. In the best case, we feel affected by it and try to learn and grow, and find and create happiness. Those things are real beauty. Don't get me wrong, I'm straight-up misanthropic, and the human race literally gives nothing back to the world around us that it doesn't destroy even more. Still, as long as we're here... I feel like we're greater than any creator that could be responsible for all that goes on.
As far as hate goes, sometimes it should drive destruction for the sake of positive change. I'm certainly a revolutionary in any way that I can make things better. As for the blind hate of others who are different, others who disagree... I feel like that kind of hate can only be taught. But those seeds sprout easily, especially when religion is used to teach it. I'm not sure what helps those people either. They need their perception of the world torn down to show that it was just all wallpaper over bloodstains to begin with. Even then, there are plenty of those who will try to justify it, especially when a leader who claims to be on their side, on God's side, speaks forcefully about it.
@Torean
Compassion is a beautiful and interesting concept to me. Your experience of a shaky morning turned around by your love for your guineas shows its potential. I've had similar things happen: a bad day turned good by simply chilling with a cat.
It's so cute that they're intimidated by your size, yet obviously adore you. It's always nice when we can forge friendships between species. It's not always possible or even safe to try sometimes, but that just makes it more special when it happens. I love hearing stories like yours, where an innocent group of tiny creatures overcame their fear and found a true friend. It seems a mutually beneficial relationship too ^^
Balance is something I strive for too. I've dealt with the extremes... anger, rage, confusion, sadness, guilt, shame, love, hate, apathy, obsession, despair, mania, and likely more. Also happiness at times, which made my laughter feel as if I was out of control. To this day, I don't laugh often or for long as it feels a little uncomfortable.
Since finding my own space, I would say I'm more balanced. I was tracking my mood for a while, and it looked pretty normal. Granted, during that period I didn't hit any lows. I've had a couple of brief upsets since then, but I think it would be abnormal for me personally if I never cried. I'm still not sure exactly what balance means or what it looks like, but it feels like flattening the mountains and filling the valleys with water so you can boat across.
I like your stance on God (just to be clear, when I talk about "God", I'm not using a religious definition, but my own. That is, an omniscient being that is somehow responsible for the universe.)
If there is a God, that made a conscious and deliberate choice to begin the universe, knowing it would contain horrors beyond imagination, then I would argue they are not wholly good. Quite bad, in fact. Like building a neighbourhood, filling the houses with people that don't know why they're there, setting some on fire, and claiming its all beautiful, flames included. That we should be thankful to and reverent of such a being, to me, is a little absurd.
I could be thankful for my own personal good fortune. I have been doing well lately. But the world around me seems a chaotic mess. The place I live attracts some questionable residents. And there are problems beyond my immediate environment that make me question the point of everything.
Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of good in the world. I'm personally happy to be alive to see it. Like an egg in a nest in a crevice of a cliff, beneath a waterfall, sheltered from the storm that rages around, the good we see has potential to hatch.
Without a God, if that goodness does hatch and we create for ourselves a better world, wouldn't that be more satisfying? To have come from nothing and built, without instruction or given purpose, a marvel?
Compassion, resilience, and growing understanding are things to be proud of. It is a shame many stand against such things. Some people suffer greatly pursuing them.
I'm not sure why a God would need people to show it compassion, reverence, or anything really. If they created everything, thanks for turning on hard mode for mostly everyone. God, the greatest wizard, a criminal psychopath bent by the pursuit of knowledge.
People are free to believe what they will. I have my days of atheism and feel free. I also like wondering about the concept of omniscience. I am happy to hear from people about a good God, but also happy to contemplate whatever. An evil God, an indifferent one, none at all, something else entirely. I don't really want to sit in any one box for too long.
I went to church for a little while. At first, it felt good. Then, the messages against same-sex marriage began. It was too much to bear. I couldn't believe, in this "holy" place, I was hearing of such hatred, such judgement. To add to the horror, this was being preached to young children, and so I had to step back.
When people claim to know about God and their intentions, I am suspicious. What is the purpose of disclosing such belief? I can understand sometimes it is simply to comfort: "God has a plan for you", etc. But too often is "God" used as a weapon. "If you don't do X, God will smite you down", etc.
I am free. Within the constraints of the laws of reality and in consideration for others and myself, I will make my own plans, my own choices. God or no God, I have the power to self-impose purpose and assign whatever meaning I wish to things. Of course, I highly value outside input, and wish to learn and grow over time.
It's always nice talking with you, Torean. I like your perspective, and hearing about your lovelies ^^ I hope you have a good day, and find the time to reward yourself for being totally cool.
Sorry I hadn't replied yet. I was waiting for a table at a restaurant last night and I had exactly enough time to read this.
It definitely is a mutually beneficial relationship. Like, I've become really close to a lot of pets. People are always saying something like "oh my God, the way she looks at you" when I'm with my dog. I used to have a cat named Nutmeg who would actually come running when I whistled her song. But the guinea pigs are a different level of it. They don't even have much means of expression, but the moment they start to truly trust you, you can feel it, and it's undefinably deep.
That's interesting about the laughter thing... It was out of your control? It kinda sounds like my tourette's issues.
I'm glad that having your own space has helped like that. I think it did the opposite for me, but I couldn't actually afford a place, so the place in question was my childhood house (still living there) but my dad had left it a horrendous mess. We're still not totally done with getting that finished up... It's like, 10 years later now.
I agree exactly with what you said about revering such a God being absurd. I'm definitely grateful for my general well-being and all the little things too, but I can't justify some of the things that have happened to me or others. And self-given purpose, either way, is a good thing to strive for. I've assumed for a while now that I'll have to be a part of overthrowing a derailed creator. There's gotta be some of us who feel that way.
Yeah, I've had similar experiences at churches. They don't seem to realize just how much they stand for hate, and exclusively hate. I've heard a lot of people say "there's no hate like Christian love" and a lot of it comes from the things you talked about. I still truly don't understand how it could ever be a good thing for everyone to believe in the Christian God... Especially not to expect everyone to. So many tragedies have been caused by that one thing.
Anyway, it's always nice talking with you too homie! I hope you have a good day with some deserved self-reward too! I'ma watch a movie and play video games at some point I think. 😁
