Space to chat with @Tinywhisper11
Hey @Tinywhisper11. I hope you're doing OK.
I have been a bad friend to you, I'm so sorry. My mental health has been getting worse and worse since February and that's why I was so inconsistent and tried to leave cups. My depression gpt reslly bad and i was feeling suicidal very often. I feel so ashamed of myself. I hope we can start being friends again. I really appreciated your company and you are still one of the kindest and greatest person I ever met. I understand if you don't want to talk to me because i have been so inconsistent. I just hope you're doing OK and are happy❤️
You're sp strong. You're really my inspiration. I wish I was as resilient as you bestie ❤️
It's so cool that people work a lot on making the lives of disabled people's better. It gives me hope for humanity. How your day has been today?
Oh and by the way, I just wanted to say that I still struggle with intrusive thoughts a lot and sometimes i am reluctant to message you because I am scared you secretly hate me. I don't know why my brain thinks that. I'm just so not used to someone liking me and liking to talk to me so I just can't believe it.
@schrodingerscattt awww honey I know trust can be hard. But I'm genuinely your friend ❤ I care about you do much ❤ and I know your still struggling. You can vent here, you can be you without any judgement. I'm not the type of person to strong you along. We are all here for the same reason and I genuinely care and want to help support you ❤❤ I might not always know what to say, but I'll always listen and do my best ❤❤ I love you bestie ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Awww thank youuuu!! You're the kindest❤️❤️❤️❤️ I love you so muchhh.
Today has been a really busy day for me.
Also I wanted to vent a little about something that has been bothering me.
So I reached out to a person I didn't talk for more than a year. Then we met in person. It was nice in a way, but I still felt that something was off you know.
I don't know why but with this person I cannot really be myself. She also reminds me a lot that I am shy, but u am actually not. She talked about it quite a lot and it made me feel insecure. But I know deep down she's a very kind person, but she just doesn't get it that not everyone wants to talk 24/7.
So now I don't really know what to do.
I don't know if I dhould just stop talking to her altogether or try to invest a bit in the relationship and see where it's going.
But really, the only thing I can say, is that I just have an uneasy feeling overall that I usually don't have when talking to people. I think I should have left this person in the apartment and probably shouldn't have reached out. I'm not sure. I'm very confused.
@schrodingerscattt yep! Always trust your feelings. Especially with this cause of she makes you feel like things your not, then you don't need anyone else like that in your life. You already have it with your family😢 I understand why you reached out, and need a friend you can trust. But I'm not sure she's gonna be that person for you. Sorry sweetie
So I'm just gonna vent because it's the only place I can do so. I *** hate myself. I hate my life. I want to self harm so baddd right now. I already self harmed so much last time that my legs are still covered in big scars. *** life. I hate this ***.
I never asked to be brought up in this hellhole. *** everyone and everything. I hate everyone. My life is the wordt life ever. It's only *** pain. I try, try, to change the situation for the better but for what? Nothing changes. Nobody hives a damn about me. Nobody cares and nobody listens. *** everything.
It seems like there is an evil spirit around me that only wants me to fail and be miserable! Well it's working well for now! I can't believe HOW some people can overcome big adversities. They are superhuman. I am just a regular human that is not resilient or strong willed. I don't have a lot of willpower. I struggle with sooo many insecurities. I have social anxiety and can't even properly talk to people. Even my own parents don't like me.
I don't know why I'm so emotional today. Usually I'm better at handling the pain. Today I just feel near a nervous breakdown.
This whole week has been horrible and anxiety inducing. I see benefits from my efforts and I just want to rest for *** sake.
It's just the damn worst day of all time!!! Why do my parents treat me this way? Why aren't they interested in me?? I want to self harm so bad. I don't know how to resist the urge.
I'm so sorry for bothering you. I feel so bad about it. You already have it hard. But you are literally the only person that keeps me somewhat sane in this insanity. I need to clam down right now. I need to make a plan in advance for what to do when I feel like self harming. I need to switch my attention to something else. I used to have some arts and craft box and that used to keep me calm but now now I don't have it. Breathing exercises don't help me. I think I'm gonna go and take a long shower and just cry my eyes out. And probably scream in a pillow too.
So so sorry for bothering you.
@schrodingerscattt your not bothering me, you never bother me. I just wish I could be there to just hug you and wipe away your tears, when you feel like this ❤ your not just a average person, your beautiful, extremely intelligent, a good friend with a sweet heart. And your a warrior fighting your battles like the rest of us. But you don't have to fight alone, I'm ready and armed, to help fight your battles ❤❤sorry for the late reply, I been having really bad headaches lately. So I haven't been on here very much. I hope your feeling a bit better now ❤❤ hugs you tightly ❤❤ it's all gonna be ok ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Aww thank you!! You're the sweetest ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I genuinely hope you're ok. Headaches can be so painful. I hope they are gone ir will go away very soon.
I don't really know what to say actually.
I don't know how to explain it, but at the beginning of our friendship I has so many things to say and always knew what to say and now I'm just lost. I don't even know what to say. It's so weird and I don't like this feeling.
But maybe it's just me who doesn't have the energy to invest in the friendship anymore. It just feels stagnant. Maybe when I will feel better I will feel better about it all.
But it really bothers me that I can't talk to you as I used to. My communication skills really vanished due to my lack of energy lately.
I'm just sk scared that our friendship will die out.
I already lost some friends due to my depression and not being able to text them regularly. It feels so awful. But akybe they weren't friends to begin with after all.
@schrodingerscattt when I started on this site, my communication skills were very low. I didn't know how friendship worked. It's ok to not know what to say, it's ok to not saying anything. It's just nice to have someone to hear you out when you need them. If we didn't talk for years, whilst you were in part of your own journey and healing. Well guess what! I'd still be here, I'd still be your friend ❤❤ and I'll have saved up lotts of hugs for you ❤ after talking to you theese past months. For now I would say, you need to work out what helps you mental health better and what makes it worse. To all the things that make it worse, you gotta find a way to cut them out of your life. It might not happen straight away, but you deserve to be surrounded by good people, good friends. ❤❤ and I'll be right here ❤❤ hugs tightly ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Aww girlll. I love you❤️❤️❤️❤️
Your messages are really a therapy for me.
You're right. I need to cut off everything that is not great for my mental health.
It's gonna be a lot of work.
Maybe I just need once again, a break to focus solely on myself. Or maybe I should just stop expecting myself to be able to talk to you all the time. As you said it's ok to not know what to say after all.
I'm gonna take a mini break this weekend and see what makes me feel better and try to think about ways I can meet new people in order to not be so isolated.
Good weekend bestieeee❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I've been looking around on the internet today and found this! Can we live in this house pleaseeee. It looks like a dream❤️❤️❤️❤️ We can spend our evenings here together chatting about everything.
@schrodingerscattt that is the perrrrfecccttt house ❤❤ we shall live happily there 😁❤ have a good weekend ❤I love you ❤
Hey. I wanted to ask you how do you deal when you feel really lonely? Lately I have been feeling more and more lonely. I have been trying to go out, try new things, but still I'm feeling so lonely. It makes me incredibly depressed. I wish I had friends I could go out and have a coffee with. Today I just feel like pitying myself and crying. Why it's so hard to find nice people who want to be your friends.
I really don't know what to do with this loneliness.
I just want to cry💔
I've always wanted to have real friends. When I was a kid I hoped by the age I'm now I would have friends. But I don't. I feel like I'm letting down my older self.
But I feel like I'm doing everything I can!!!!!!!!!! I already tried to reach out to three people I used to talk to( which is already a big progress for me), I enrolled in online seminars, I go to yoga classes several times a week. But I still feel lonely as f.
I can cry a river right now.
I keep listening to podcasts or music and all the time being on my phone just to chase the feeling of loneliness.
It really hurts from the inside.
I feel some sort of emptiness yk.
I'm struggling to hope for better things for the future.
It's so hard.
Let me visualize really quick our house in the woods. It helps me to soothe.
I just want a miracle to happen and have some friends😭😭😭
*cries in lonely.
@schrodingerscattt yeah loneliness is really hard 😞 I don't have any friends or family. I mean I will sit and listen to the old folks here, they can talk for hours, and I talk to the staff. But noone around my age, no real friends. So I yeah I hear you, I suppose all you can do is just keep trying ❤
@Tinywhisper11
I feel ya. It's so horrible when you have no one around you that is your age.
It really makes me feel empty. All the people I talk to are muuuch older than me. They are nice but sometimes their conversations just get on my nerves. I sometimes just want to discuss silly things with people my age who will understand.
They too can talk for hours and I just listen and listen.
I'm so happy I have you though. Even if you have never seen me in real life, I'm still your bestie and I'm here for you. I would show you a pic of how I look because we've been tlwking for a long time now but I dodon'feel safe showing my face on here.
I don't know why, but lately my mood has been worse and worse. I'm just struggling a lot.
That eould be so cool if we could send voice messages on here. It would feel more real.
I sometimes participate to online sessions with supports groups for depression by zoom, but even this is not enough.
I genuinely hope one day things will be better for us.
@schrodingerscattt don't worry one day every thing will work out for us ❤❤ I've been making a new country song playlist😁 I have amazon music. Making playlists is fun 😁 I've pretty much just been in bed ill the past few days. I'm ok though don't worry ❤❤ have you read any new books lately?? Do you ever join in on the icebreaker/games forums?? There's stuff on there that will definitely make you smile😋 hope your day is going ok
That's so great can you recommend me some songs? Yeah I started a new book, but it's frankly making me even more depressed. I wanted to read something like hearted but it actually wasn't 😭
