Space to chat with @Tinywhisper11
Hey @Tinywhisper11. I hope you're doing OK.
I have been a bad friend to you, I'm so sorry. My mental health has been getting worse and worse since February and that's why I was so inconsistent and tried to leave cups. My depression gpt reslly bad and i was feeling suicidal very often. I feel so ashamed of myself. I hope we can start being friends again. I really appreciated your company and you are still one of the kindest and greatest person I ever met. I understand if you don't want to talk to me because i have been so inconsistent. I just hope you're doing OK and are happy❤️
Hey bestieee❤️❤️❤️ how are you doing?? I was off here for a while because I needed a break. Honestly those people who made mean comments about you just tell me who it is and I'm gonna beat them up. Just joking😂
But seriously how could they do that to my bestie? It really hurts me to hear this. But I hope you know that you are very beautiful.
You are so so beautiful!!!
I'm insecure about how I look because the guy I've been talking about is so handsome and so many girls have a crush on him too and that's why I started to feel insecure about my looks and like I'm not beautiful enough.
It makes me upset. I've been working for such a long time on my confidence and now boom, it's just gone! But well, if I managed to got this I will get it back right?
I canceled the appointment with the psychologist because I got so scared. I had MANY bad encountered with psychologists and I thought I would be able to do it but I am terrified. It hurts your soul when you open up yo soemone and this person invalidates you, dismisses you and just couldn't care less.
But I talked to my Russian relative and she has been once again so nice and helped me to calm down a bit.
I'm still not doing that ok. And on top of all I'm gonna have my periods soon, and it makes me feel even more sad yk.
I'm heading to the library right now. Gonna study.
@schrodingerscattt have fun at the library ❤❤ I'm glad you took a break from here, it's healthy to know when to do that🙂❤ the past few days have been really really bad😥 I woke up shaking and crying, so scared the other night. I didn't know how to calm down, so I made a forum thread, it helped a bit🙂 but can't seem to shake bad memories and thoughts away. But I'll be ok soon ❤ hopefully ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤ I love you ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Aww I wanna hug youuuuuu❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
My bestie❤️❤️❤️ I am here for you okay? If you wanna vent just do it ok? You matter so so much to me!!
I keep you always in my thoughts and worry about you.
I know how hard it can be. I once had a dream where i was back in a traumatic place and it made me so unsettled. I was terrified of going to sleep the next night!
I'm glad the forum thread helped a bit! I hope you know how many people appreciate you❤️
I WISH we were besties in real life! We could do so many cool things together!
But I'm glad we met on here. I don't even remember when and how it happened 😂
I went away from the library because there were so many people and I wasn't able to concentrate. It made me upset. And I saw so many people in couple and it made me want to cry too.
So yeah.
Also, on top of all, I have horrific anger issues lately. I feel like Hulk😭 is that my periods or am I morphing into a monster. I just feel ANGRY. I hate this feeling I wish I was able to let go of the things that hurt me and hold forgiveness, grace and gratitude in my heart. But that's not me. I have always been someone with strong emotions. Today has not been going well for me. I have a horrible stomachache.
And my anger makes me want to do bad things to myself. I guess this anger is erupting because I was never heard I was not taken care of and now I just feel like an aggressive stray dog because of all of the hurt I endured.
I seriously just wanna scream now.
@schrodingerscattt
I'm pretty sure it's my period symptoms but I had my periods not so long ago. What is going on with my health at this point.
Hey. I wanted to say that I don't really want to be your friend anymore. I feel like I am investing too much in this friendship and it just makes me tired. You always take so much time to reply to me and it makes me feel unimportant which hinders my self esteem.
I guess it's just time we go our separate ways.
Hi. I just wanted to say it because it is really bothering me.
I really thought that we had a genuine friendship. I really trusted you and thought you really cared about me.
I was writing so many messages to you and you were barely replying and ghosting me most of the time, but still had time to talk to others in the forum.
I was putting so much efforts and you weren't reciprocating at all.
I am done with friendships now and will never ever trust anyone again.
I thought you were a good person but turns out you aren't.
@schrodingerscattt 😞 in not sure if you notice, but I come on and off cups through out the day, pretty much everyday. I'm in and out cause of well, my daily life style. First thing when I come to cups is I check my little bell, with all the forum thread replys I get. I go down the list from the top, trying to make sure I answer everyone who has left a message, normally because of the time difference when you are in to when I am, your message is almost towards the bottom of the list. I always reply as soon as I get to your message.🤔🤔 I think that's why I possibly miss alot of notifications, cause I try to support so many people in the forums, the messages at the bottom of the list dissapear, cause you can only have up to 100 messages at a time. I don't believe I've ever ghosted anyone, at least not intentionally.😥 I've always tried to be a good friend, I try to be a good person. The message when you said you didn't want to be my friend anymore, really upset me, that's the second time you've broken of our friendship😞 I'm sorry I made you feel like I don't care about you or don't want to be friends with you😞that was definitely not intentional. I'm sorry😞😥😥 I'm not the best person, no
Hey. I'm sorry if my words hurt you. I didn't intend it. I am not doing OK right now and I just need a break I guess. I'm still not sure I want to be friends with you. Maybe we will be friends again in the future but not for now. I also wanted to say that our personalities seem like polar opposites and sometimes your positivity and humor is too much for me. But there's nothing wrong about you it's just me that doesn't really like too much positivity around me. And communicating on cups is upsetting me way too much. Communicating on here feels fake and now that i talk more to people in real life, cups seem so fake.
I know how life is hard for you too so I wish you a lot of courage and I hope things will get better for us both. I hope you don't hold any grudges on me.
I have to fix my life a bit first in order to be able to be a more functional human being that can properly communicate to others.
And tomorrow is also my birthday which also adds more pain to everything and that's why I am acting not like my usual self. To be completely honest I don't even recognize myself at this point. I hope with a lot of efforts I will heal and get better.
All this to say, I still stay on my wish of not being friends anymore.
I am not able to be a good person right now and I can't pour from an empty cup. I have to take care of my life which is a burning mess right now.
Thanks for being here for me. Good luck with your life.
Also I got ghosted soo many times on cups that I am just disheartened in human beings right now and in cups too.
@schrodingerscattt happy birthday
It's considered bad luck wishing happy birthday in advance where I live but thanks anyways. I hope you're not holding grudges on me. I never meant to upset you. I'm just transforming into a bad person because of all this pain and trauma. Sorry.
@schrodingerscattt no. No grudges🙂❤
Hey. Hope you're doing OK. I am feeling so bad right now and I am struggling to have hope. I wanted to ask you how you do it. You have been through so much but still are an optimistic person. I frankly just want to off myself. I literally have nobody now. I called my uncle yesterday and he didn't reply to me. I tried to ask for help other family members but they all brushed it off. I am seriously thinking that I have no place on this earth. I feel so miserable. I've been trying so bad to change things. I've been trying so bad. I've always been good at school and now I'm failing miserably. I'm failing at everything. It breaks my heart in thousand pieces to think about how my life could have been different if I was born into another family that really valued me. Why do I have to go through this? Why me?
You're a much better person than me. You use your pain to help others and spread positivity but I'm just becoming a bad person and starting to be mean to everybody.
I feel like a complete failure.
If only I had a good family I would have turned out happy, healthy and successful. But now I truly believe I won't.
I really believe I'm destined to misery.
I remember that you don't watch the sunset, only the sunrise. For me it's the opposite 😂
And I saw such a beautiful one today.
@schrodingerscattt that is very beautiful ❤ and so are you🙂 ❤ we can't change the past. We don't have to forgive it forget. We don't have to accept it, and some days, weeks will be hard very hard. But we can change our perspective on life, we can be better than the people who hurt us. The world and every one it can be against us, but you and only you can push through and change your world. It comes to a point where you realise you can't keep going like this, things need to change. You are trying so hard to do this I know, you have stood strong, you've kept going when you haven't wanted to ❤ you can do this, I have every faith in a few years your life will be transformed into a wonderful fairy tale ❤ I'm always here for you, always will be ❤ maybe we need to try a new approach with your mental health, we can do it together.🤔🤔 ❤ hugs you tightly ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Honestly I don't believe what you are saying. I won't make it. I have been trying for way too long and nothing worked you know. Every night I was going to bed with hope only to be disappointed the next day. It's the same nightmare over and over again.
@schrodingerscattt
And I'm not beautiful. I'm ugly.
@schrodingerscattt 🤔🤔 let's take your mind of things. Perhaps try some things together ❤ but fun things, nothing that feels like homework or just something that isn't fun
@schrodingerscattt perhaps we could draw a thing a day, or write a silly daily journal, but with weird daily questions. Do you have any ideas we could do for fun??
@Tinywhisper11
Umm I'm so bad at humor so I prefer drawing. I also looove figure skating but I injured my leg and can't even do that. I think about still trying to go there this evening but it would make my leg worse.
@schrodingerscattt yes rest your leg, don't damage it worse ❤❤ drawing is fun we could pick something to draw not every day, but just for fun. See what each other comes up with. And I didn't mean writing humour, I meant keeping like a diary of the best thing I saw today? Stuff like that
@Tinywhisper11 but obviously it's not gotta feel like something you don't want to do, cause we can always wait, till perhaps we've thought it through, or your in a better place mentally ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Oh. I get it now. I'm not a fan of Journaling though. I really prefer drawing. I have tons of ideas of what I can draw😊 but I draw mostly with a pencil so it's not colorful.
