Space to chat with @Tinywhisper11
Hey @Tinywhisper11. I hope you're doing OK.
I have been a bad friend to you, I'm so sorry. My mental health has been getting worse and worse since February and that's why I was so inconsistent and tried to leave cups. My depression gpt reslly bad and i was feeling suicidal very often. I feel so ashamed of myself. I hope we can start being friends again. I really appreciated your company and you are still one of the kindest and greatest person I ever met. I understand if you don't want to talk to me because i have been so inconsistent. I just hope you're doing OK and are happy❤️
And I wanted to say you look so pretty! You hair is SO beautiful girl! ❤️ What's you hair care secret? My looks like a sponge😂 and I cut it really short lately.
Kinda miss my long hair but well, it will grow back again.
I also wanted to say I feel a bit insecure by my lack of humor. You seem to joke around a lot with everyone but I truly just don't get it. Humor is not my thing at all.
I love talking about deep stuff you know. But not everybody likes it yk because some people just wanna chat with their friends about light hearted things. But well I am who I am and I'm gonna learn to love myself! You have enough humor for us both❤️
@schrodingerscattt don't worry about rushing to find a good man. It will happen for you, but probably when you least expect it. But your gonna marry Prince charming ❤ yeah that does not sound like a great friendship, if she takes a few times to answer you, and goes on her phone a lot when you two are hanging out, that's a bit rude😕 it's completely understandable you crave love, and lack trust. Anyone who's been through the crap you have would have those needs to ❤ don't be hard on yourself, and please know that you are cared about and loved, I care and love you ❤ don't worry about me, I'm as safe as I'll ever be ❤ humour is just a personality type I guess. We all have different personalities, and if we didn't life would be very boring ❤ so don't feel insecure I think your personality is great ❤ I don't have any hair secrets😂😂 my hair is naturally curly/wavy. And I bet your new hairstyle looks amazing on you ❤ gives you a huge hug ❤❤ and yes show me every photo, I don't get to see the world, so looking at photos is how I get to see the world, and through another person's eye too. So yes please show me them all. And taking photos is a fun form of art. Which is great ❤❤
@Tinywhisper11
Aww your message gives me hope❤️ I truly hope one day I'll be able to find a good man.
And yeah about the friendship it's truly disrespectful but I was so desperate and lonely and decided to give a shot to the people I have around me. I hope in uni I will have a better chance at meeting new people.
Your hair looks really great. My is not naturally curly and also tends to be greasy so quickly so I have to either wash it often or just bare with it.
I'm glad you will be happy to see my pictures. I just looooove taking pictures so so much and it makes me happy that someone wants to see them.
Hey. I needed to vent a bit. I don't know if you saw it, but in one of my messages I talked about something that truly triggered me in Tha past few days. I cannot let go of it now. It made me incredibly depressed and I want to self harm. My life has been going OK for once and all my efforts have been destroyed by one stupid triggering person. I want to give up. I am tired. Why am I fighting if the universe hates me and gives me triggering people. My life is the worst mess ever and no matter my efforts nothing changes. I hate everything at this point. Why me? Why do I have to have such a hard life? It's incredibly unfair!!!!!!!! Why me ?
Why do people say things like it all happens for a reason? Why?
I am just heartbroken beyond repair. *** human beings. They are the worst. I wish I was a cat. Even cats have more empathy and decency than stupid human beings.
I truly feel defleted right now.
I truly just want to give up.
@schrodingerscattt hugs you tightly ❤ yeah I remember that girl crying triggered you😥 sorry sweetie. Life is hard and incredibly not fair, but your doing really well ❤ I think uni might be a life changer for you, and it won't be long before you start. So no giving up until you've at least given uni a go, deal? Did that girl trigger a specific memory for you?? Or just a general trigger?? I know what might cheer you up, you can get some photos ready to show me😁 I've tried deleting all notifications in my bell, to make sure I haven't been missing messages like from you. But as soon as I clear it, it goes straight back to 99 😥 I've already cleared 3 times today. Hugs you tightly ❤❤ it's just a bad day, it's all gonna be ok ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Yeah, she just triggered me in general.
And people who scream on the street trigger me too. And here where I live it's so damn common. There are tons of crazy psychos that can approach a stranger here and I once even saw once of these creeps throwing a bottle of alcohol on somebody.
It makes me upset when people dismiss my concerns about the safte in this city by saying : "but it's pretty and sunny all year round". So what? It's still so bad in terms of safety here.
So actually today I don't have much pictures.
What would you like to see?
You can give me a photo challenge or something like that.
Or I can go to the library later in the afternoon and show you how it looks like. It's the second biggest library in the whole country and it looks really pretty.
Hey. I also wanted to ask you d you have any advice on what to do with periods pain? I followed advice on Google it made it worse😭 It just hurts and on top of all I'm moody.
Hey. I wanted to say I am leaving cups for some time.
I am tired of it and it makes my mental health worse.
I feel like an outcast here.
I guess it's time for me to leave and find people in more intellectual places where I can talk.
It's making me anxious, insecure and makes me compare a lot with other people on cups.
So I am done.
I am tired of not even being able to have a normal convo on here. Anyways you have tons of friends and you can replace me easily.
I am leaving this app and this friendship for good.
@schrodingerscattt period pains, I don't get periods anymore, cause of all the meds I'm on. But I would advice probably some painkillers, or if it's really bad the doctor should be able to give you something to help. ❤I understand you need more mature, deeper conversations. And someone who's there to have a two way convo, that's kind of impossible on here. And humour as become my coping mechanism, as well as a distraction for me. And I guess many others here to. As for replacing you, I'm afraid that's impossible, there will be no-one quite like you in this world. You'll always hold a place in my heart ❤ but you got to do what's best for you and your needs. Gives you a giant tiny hug ❤❤ not goodbye, just see you later ❤
@Tinywhisper11
I get it. You all use homur to feel better but it's truly just annoying me. And yeah, I always wanted to talk about deep things and grow in life. In a moment of mumy life cups has been helpful but now it feels like it's holding me back. There's no one here that could talk about things I want to talk about. But sometimes I forget it's a place for mental health and not to talk about specific and esoteric things.
It's sad but I have to go. I need to find my people, that will understand me. My own 'nerd' group. That's why I was shocked our friendship was so long because I usually never talk to people like you. You're too positive and too much everywhere, talking to everybody type of person.
I need someone more grounded and who I can talk about science because it's everything I've always wanted to do in my life. Anyways right now it's a time of transition in my life, and I truly need to let go of cups if I want to be able to focus on my real life.
I guess I as on cups when I felt helpless but now that I know what to do it's time to leave. I'm not gonna come back though so it's truly a farewell.
Thanks for the friendship. It taught me how to be more grateful in life and how to appreciate the little things so thanks.
But now I need to find better friends who will be more suited for me and my personality.
Also wanted to add, all humans are replaceable and that's a fact. Everybody loves on and replaces you with another human being I'm well aware of that. All of us are replaceable. It's a sad fact but it's true.
And you'll be lying to yourself if you don't think so.
@schrodingerscattt I believe life goes on, but no-one can replace anyone ❤ I'm glad you know what to do with yourslf/life, that's a bit breakthrough. Thanks for being my friend too ❤❤ hugs you goodbye ❤ best of luck with everything ❤❤I love you ❤
Hey. I wanted to reach out because I felt bad about the way I ended the friendship. I wanted to explain some things and why I reacted the way I did. Which i'm sorry. It wasn't nice of me.
Fisrt of all, I've never really had anyone I could count on and never had a secure attachment to my parents. That's a deep abandonment wound that is very hard to heal. As a result, I constantly seek people I can " attach" to so that they will fulfill my unmet childhood emotional needs that still bother me to this day.
It's called limerence if I am not wrong.
The first person I really attached to was my uncle. Then when he left me unexpectedly that person became you. I placed so many expectations on you and you didn't fulfill them because you are your own person and you are not obliged to be there for me 24/7.
I also was jealous of your other friends, and you're literally friends with everybody on cups.
I still have this deep fear of abandonment and it truly hurt me because I was scared you love them more than me and gonna leave me for them. Especially considering I didn't have the humor they do and things like that.
I jut feel truly alone and like nobody cares not even you.
And even if you say you care or love M I don't believe you because I've been hurt too many times.
You also have such a different personality to me, like completely the opposite and it made me insecure because I was comparing myself to you a lot and thinking that you were better than me.
So yeah, I don't think we will be able to be good friends. I probably need to work first on all of this.
So I hope you understand where I'm coming from.
You were the only person that genuinely showed interest in me and that's why I placed so many expectations and hopes on you. But it was unrealistic I guess, also considering your personality. Sometimes I just truly don't get how you can laugh and joke about traumatic things. How can you still spread joy after all your abuse.
That's just wild to me.
But I guess it's good to be soemtiems around people that are different from you to change up a bit your perspective.
I'm truly not doing OK right now.
I don't know how you can find the will to live in your situation because I am struggling BAD. But I guess in a way, you are luckier than me because you are not alone and you live around other people. I live completely alone and my sole interactions with my dad are negative.
I have no family support, nobody. It truly hurts. I feel all alone in his world. I'm truly jealous of your situation. Sorry if that hurts you but at least you have somebody I don't even have people that would care if I'm dead or alive.
And you have tons of friends on cups.
And you have such a bright and positive personality.
Anyways that's everything I wanted to say.
I felt bad about the way I treated you. But I still don't think it's a good idea for us to be friends again. I'm just gonna go back to my old ways and gonna b jealous of your other friendships which is gonna hurt my mental health.
That's about it.
Hope you're doing well.
I've also saw your poem about your trauma and it's a beautiful poem. You're strong to express all of this. Maybe one day I will be able to express my pain into poems too.
Or write a book...
@schrodingerscattt I do understand that you need a parental guidance figure in your life. I can't offer you any more than my friendship and support. I do understand that you don't get why I'm kind to others or like having a joke around with people. I have explained that I come here for support yes, but mostly as a distraction from my own pain. Helping support others makes me happy, we can change the world, our world one kind deed at a time. ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Thanks for replying.
I guess we just have opposite ways of reacting to pain.
You at least can a make other people happy which is great.
I was really toxic lately to everyone around me due to trauma.
I don't like it but it's hard to change when you don't even know what proper relationships look like.
It's just all hard for me.
@schrodingerscattt it is hard I know. And yeah everyone's brain is different, we all react and turn different ways, due to lifes circumstances.But I do know it's hard
@Tinywhisper11
Yeah. Sure.
I don't even know what to say at this point. Our friendship is dead anyways now and there's no point in trying to save it.
I'm sad that I actually don't matter to you like I thought I did but well, I'll find some real and genuie friends one day.
@schrodingerscattt you do matter to me, I was being a real friend
