azurePondering with a Bear
@azurePond
The azure pond that once was bare, has now been overflowing around with care. A friend for me and a friend for you, when will Tiny attack us two. When in doubt don't be drought, all your notions will soon flow out!
@azurepond
Just in case you didn't see or forgot. I will be at a church camp for 7days starting tomorrow. The camp has a no electronics policy so I won't be able to get on cups to see or reply to anything. Thank you for everything I'll pray you have a good week!
Love ya good Puddles, good luck with everything this week! 🩵
@7Bear7 Ahh thank you for the heads up and no worries at all ! I hope camp is refreshing and full of peace, laughter and beautiful moments that stay with you long after it ends.
I’ll miss your energy around here but I’ll be cheering for you from afar—may it be a week of light, clarity, and soul-deep joy. I know you need that rest... that peaceful week away from the noise. Thank you so much for the prayers... that means a lot . I will be praying for you too🩵
Love you too, Mister Diatom Pendragon. Safe travels, and I’ll be here when you’re back. Good Puddles will be holding down the fort!
Take care , Bear 💖
@azurePond
Thank you so much for your well wishes! I'll miss you you calm presence too. I am hoping the camp will help me disconnect and recharge from the Internet and help with my connection to God and improve my mental health. Or at least plant the seeds for all of those improvements that I can continue to water into bloom.
Thank you for your cheers and wishes, they come from a wonderful heart and understanding! I hope I can get some rest and some good sleep too. I thank you especially much for your prayers, they are very powerful and helpfull. Thank you
Take care , Pond 💖
@azurepond
You're reply to the encouragement form thingamajig actually made me loose a stray couple tears. Thank you so much for everything you do. You especially make me feel heard and actually seen, and I praise God that I met you and have you as a friend. I am super glad I am a good friend to you as well because I hate being one sided either direction in a friendship. While I may not always feel emotions in the same way as others you make me feel proud and encouraged to have you as a friend and be your friend. thank you so much for helping me bear my burdens just by being you! I feel like I am rambling again but you told me not to apologize so I shall instead thank you for giving me a place to ramble freely!
Love ya Miss Puddles! 🩵
@7Bear7 Aww this made my heart puddle up in the best way 🥺
You have no idea how much your words mean to me..... thank you for sharing them so honestly. Just knowing that I help you feel seen and safe is one of the biggest honours I could ever receive. Youre not rambling at all.... you’re offering and every word is a gift. I treasure them.
And please know this goes both ways. I genuinely feel held in this friendship too......your quiet strength, your loyalty, your presence… it matters so much to me. You being proud of being my friend? That made me misty-eyed, because I feel the exact same. I am proud of you, Bear. You da best. I’m deeply grateful for you.
So thank you, for trusting me, for being exactly who you are, and for calling me Miss Puddles (I’m keeping that forever now) Love you right back, Bear, with my whole squishy lil soul <3
Always here,
~Your soggy-but-smiling Miss Puddles
Come back soon with exciting camp stories!
I hope you are having a good time @7Bear7
Miss you <3
Here's a rhyme for you....
In the whispering woods near a sky so wide,
Bear and Puddles played side by side
The azure pond was calm and blue,
Where dreams took flight and stories grew
Bear sang rhymes with a rumbly cheer,
While Puddles wrote tales only brave hearts hear
With rollerblades flashing through dappled light,
Bear zoomed ahead, Puddles chased with delight
Then Bear made Indian paintbrush crowns
Crafted swords and shields to slay the dragons
“Today” said Duck, “we battle flames and fears!”
And Bear roared proud “To friendship, glory and cheers!”
@azurePond
Miss Pond! I am back, I missed you and was praying for you. Thanks for holding down the fort while I was gone!
That is such a lovely rhyme/poem! I was such a joy to read thank you! I will try to do a proper response to it later
@7Bear7 Sure Bear!.. Welcome back to the 7cups wonderland <3
@azurePond @7Bear7 I was in midst of some family stuff..my grand aunt passed away
@azurePond
It's perfectly okay to be busy so don't worry. I am sorry about your Aunt
@azurePond
Thanks you Miss Pond! The wonderland is lovely to be back in 🩵
@7Bear7 Hey Bear,
How are you? How was the camp? What are some of the exciting things you did there? Did you enjoy it?
@azurePond
Greetings and salutations! Miss Puddles, I had a good time there it was long and tiring but good. The Bible classes were amazing and the teachers even more so. I made some new friends and met some old ones, I was still kinda awkward tho. I got several phone numbers and hope to keep in touch with some of them. Some of last year's graduates got to visit on the last day of camp one was my team captain last year and the other I spent a lot of time talking with, the second is a poet but mostly does romance poems now. I was a team captain this year (everyone who is in the graduating class is one apparently) and had a good team of amazing people.
Two of my teammates got baptized on the last night and that was beautiful. Truly the only wors I can have for it. I have a new brother and sister in them and got some wet hugs. I actually felt like I fully felt something during that. It wasn't like a half emotion that doesn't fully reach me it felt fully deep, but I couldn't identify what the feeling was. It made me teary but they didn't actually fall and it motivated me to give them contact information so if they ever wanted or needed advice they could reach me.
Ohhh my team also won volleyball 2 games to 1 game, and on the last one we didn't have time to finish my team was at 24 points and our opponents 9. So that was awesome since volleyball is my favorite out of the four we play there. We also won softball 24-3 and lost basketball and kick ball. It was all fun tho.
I had wanted to talk to my cabin counselor about some of my more private mental issues, mostly just wanted to talk to someone in real life that I know and respect but doesn't have a major place or effect in my life, but alas I never did because of either time or courage I suppose.
Made friends with a artist (I am good at that apparently (making friends with artists I mean)) she also was the only one to notice my scars, but didn't ask anything after she realized what they came from. Not sure if that was a good thing or not?
i wanted to say that I naturally creep some people out but then realized that would need like a three page essay to explain in a way I think would actually capture it in a way that actually makes sense. So I decided not to? But I still mentioned it soooooo yah I guess? I don't no I am not good with certain types of people I guess???
Anyway one of the senior girls beat me and several other guys at arm wrestling, but she looks like a ranch girl so not super surprised about it. Hmmm now I am just making myself look bad. So I say something true that makes me and in turn the girl look better. I can pick up and toss (not super far but still toss) fifty pound bags of sand or dog food with on arm. Wooo I am not weak! Yay! Lol 😂
Ummm I kinda rambling for most of this tho there were small edits as always, but it felt to good to talk about it all so thank you whenever you read this! 🩵
How was your week? PS I like your new prom just can't think of what to say about it right now, hopefully I won't forget to go back and comment like I have on some others. Love ya Pond, Bear over ;) 😁
@azurepond
That last smiley face was supposed to be a heart but I misclicked! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
So here's like seventy two! ^ ^
🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵
@7Bear7 There is 76! So here.... 77 hearts for 7 Bear 7
@azurePond
Awwweeee my heart! Or hearts???? Hmmmmmmm??
Anyway I wrote seventy two and then put the hearts making four rows, I counted and saw it was seventy six but couldn't bring myself to ruin the symmetry (OCS????? lol) but thought it would be funny to leave the seventy two up top. Lol I be weird like that sometimes! ;)
Also thank you for the hearts! They are so beautiful! 🩵
PS cool new pfp veryyy. . . Blue
@7Bear7
Bear 🩵 I absolutely loved reading this — you had me smiling! It sounds like camp was a lot — but the good kind of a lot. The kind that makes you sit still afterward and just feel.
You being team captain? That’s brilliant! And the fact that your team won volleyball and softball? Colour me impressed. That 24–9 score? That’s not just a win — that’s a statement. Also... the ranch girl (girl power yaaay!) beating you at arm wrestling made me laugh out loud — love the honesty (and the comeback with the 50lb dog food toss, well played 😂)
The way you described the baptisms truly gave me goosebumps. I could feel the stillness and the weight of the moment. Sometimes emotions dont need to be named to be real — and the fact that it moved you enough to offer your number? That’s pure heart, Bear. I’m proud of you.
Also — I’ve never been on a Bible camp. Actually, I’ve never been on any camp, come to think of it. That’s wild! I’ve done hikes, forest walks, some exploration stuff — my grandparents even had a little cabin in the woods. But I’ve never pitched a tent or done a proper camping experience. I don’t think I ever stopped to consider it, but reading your message made me go, oh wow… I should really try that sometime. It honestly sounds like so much fun.
I really admire how openly you wrote about wanting to talk to your cabin counsellor — even the desire itself shows self awareness and courage. And you do seem to attract artists — probably because you see things, and people, in that rare kind of way that feels both curious and kind. That says a lot about your presence, even if you don’t always feel it.
I’m really proud of you for making new friends, reconnecting with old ones and even just wanting to talk about your inner world with someone you trust. That desire matters... even if time or courage didn’t quite align this time. Seeds planted, you know?
Also — you don’t come off creepy. You come off thoughtful, and sometimes a little unsure of how to exist in social space — which just makes you human. And quite endearing.
Thank you for sharing all of this with me — it felt like sitting beside you with hot chocolate and hearing everything spill out in the best way. As for your final line — no rambling here, just a beautiful, very you stream of thought and I’m honoured you shared it with me. My week was turbulent and gray (funerals, people, family, exes, acquaintances) but your message made it 10x brighter.
Also—thank you for the compliment on the new poem. Means a lot, even if you couldn’t find words for it yet🩵
Missed you . Proud of you. Love you.
Puddles, over and out 🌊✨
@azurePond
Thank you so much for the reply! Your replys always make me smile this one especially as I couldn't stop smiling the whole thing, even got a little teary at the end. Ugh I am such a cry baby when I am alone, like I can't cry in front of anyone anymore even if I want to (unless it's my eyes watering from allergies or dryness or something) it can be frustrating. But when I am alone I get teary easier and occasionally actually cry tho that's not super common either.
Pond I am glad it could make you smile! :) the camp was a lot, seven days of a lot. One night I only got three hours of sleep. But it was good while it didn't solve everything in my life like I secretly hoped it definitely helped. As for sitting afterwards, yah I had a good 3-4 hour van ride home doze and process on.
Yep ol Bear was a captain, with my scallywag crew. Yah I was really happy about the volleyball win cuz that was my favorite sport out of the ones we played, I probably would have tried to join a actual team if a learned I liked it at a younger age and was in public school. The 24-9 score was pretty cool but the other team was good too, or probably more accurately neither team was good! Lol no offense to either team. Most of it came down to the servers tho there were a few god back and forth volleys. Girl power! You would like my older sister, she can throw my around, with my consent of course! :) She's very quiet and reserved but would throw me on to concrete to show off to the youth group once or twice. Glad you got a good laugh out of my defeat, but those ranch girls are no joke wrestling horses and cattle, like they be stupid STRONG! My comeback is slightly manipulative as I can only toss them with one arm while using the rotational force of my torso but most people would need that anyway soooooo? Lol
Wet hugs Pond, one of the best feelings ever, is wet hugs. It is a still moment, it's a respectful moment as your watching a person die to themselves and be born again in Christ, saved. It was hard in a way it felt so heavy the weight of a new and powerful bond formed to a younger sibling. I can't name the emotion I probably couldn't give a accurate description if I had a thousand years, well maybe in that long I would be smart enough? But through it all the walk down to the river, the baptism, the hugs, the songs of praise, the walk back up, it felt true, real, a glimpse of the weight of heaven perhaps?
Thank you Pond, your words mean a lot (I would say more then you know but I don't know what you know so how can I truthfully say that something especially something important is more than you know?)
I would definitely recommend going if you know it is a group of faithful Christians who follow what is actually said and not just what they want it to say. However most Bible camps that I know of are for people in school not adults. what you have done sounds amazing! Though I think I may have given a slightly wrong impression, a lot of summer camps especially big ones, at least here in Texas, have cabins built (like regular buildings with a giant bedrooms full of bunk beds, some have bathrooms in them others have bath houses, some have AC other don't.) though I have gone camping camping before where I put up a tarp and strung my hammock underneath! That was a lot of fun! :) but I have wanted to do a more proper multi day camping and hike for a really long time but never have yet. Glad I am making you think, both kinds can be a lot of fun but also very tiring.
Thank you, but I am very rarely courageous, unless it's something physically dangerous (tho I suppose that could be more my indifference to slight desire for injury?) I am many things but my lack of courage when it comes to talking to people has been one of my flaws for a long time. Artist hmmm? Yah my oldest sister is definitely pure blood artist (the drawings breed) and I myself have tried so many different kinds, my most successful being soft clay or Legos i think. As for seeing things I definitely don't see the world like others but I guess nobody sees it the same? And kindness, I had two of the younger girls on my team thank me very emotionally "for being so kind to me" and my brain wanted to brush it off as nothing it's normal right? Right? But my some part of me knows that it's not normal I was different, and it hurts that kindness especially to children, girls, is not normal. They both got very big hugs. It's that lack of kindness that lights the desire to be angry but no true feeling but the emptyness of burnt of passion. You truly don't realize how much "That says a lot about your presence, even if you don’t always feel it." means to me. For the longest time I can remember my biggest goal (deep emotional and spiritual goal) was to be kind and loving, perhaps even to be the best. Maybe I want(ed) that because of the morals of the Bible story's I was told as a child or perhaps to was the powerful love shown to me, or maybe the lack of something? I truly don't know why that's what I chose but since I was a true child (like single digits years old) that was a goal some in my head. I haven't always been good at it but it's something I have been working on longer than anything other part of me. So your words mean more than a lot to me as the seem as proof or validation that I actually am succeeding at something I am working for, truly more than you know. 🩵
Friends can be good, very good, but I struggle extremely hard with getting close ones. When I was a child my closest friends were always adults, whether they were collage age or married I would have one as my closest friend. Guess I was always best with mature people who knew how to handle my insane gremlin puppy nature? I still struggle with my own age group tho I am better, but weirdly enough I am better with people several years older then me, and a few years younger then me to tiny child age then my own age group, (usually there are exceptions, like with most things.) though this time I think enough seeds have truly been planted with my own age group that some will actually grow?
That's very sweet and kind Pond. And I am much much better than I was. Funny story! Or at least I hope I can present it in a way that's funny and doesn't my me look like a Eldritch serial k!ller! ;) sooooooo when I was like 7-9 (don't remember perfectly my age) I had a crush on a really pretty girl at my church, we'll call her De. De was 3 months older than me and a grade above, our mother's knew each other when they were pregnant, so we knew each our whole lives. Anyways I had this crush on her for a few years before it faded away for the most part, at that time I also strictly decided I wouldn't date until I was bare minimum 16 preferably 18, I just personal choose that. Fast forward to a few years later I am closer friends with De now we do youth group events together and go to Bible classes together. It's now that my old crush starts to resurface, but I try not to act on it I do pretty good to! It both big just a little child/teen attraction. I get added to the youth group chat people start texting Merry Christmas I text her that we have a pleasant chat. I then make my fatal mistake. I decided I'll be kind and respectful so I text her and one of my female cousins goodnight. And I'm like hey they both responded that's great I'm awesome! So I decided to make a alarm, that's right a alarm! For every night at 8 and text them both goodnight, FOR MONTHS!!!!!! 😭 So anyway they both stop responding to that completely and it becomes habit, I also start seeing her as my closest friend (friend only still strict with myself about that whole no dating till 16) so I start acting like a lost puppy who trails her around or wonders aimlessly to make sure she has space for her own friends. Sooooooo yeah her dad talked to my mom and my mom talked to me and went through my phone and basically said stop it and leave her alone for awhile. I do I don't text I do follow around but I am still courteous and will talk to her. Anyways a couple months later a new guy comes to church about our age I really like him he's cool, so I try to be his friend it's a meh friendship cuz I am bad at them but he's my friend. I'm like 15 maybe then and Junior camp comes around and I'm a JC (Junior Counselor) along with the new guy De. So I follow him around with the lost puppy treatment hoping I can maybe have a closer friend. But it turns out him and De where either dating or about to date so in the talking faze. *Also good time to mention I just stare into nothing regularly with a blank face and get lost in the arguments with my own thought voices.* So last day of camp she like 'please stop following me?' and I'm like 'what? all I did was fill up my water bottle?' (yes I seriously said that 😐) and she's like 'no this whole week you've been staring at me and following me.' and I'm like 'uhhh I um didn't realize I was? I'll try to stop?' and then I hastily retreat to my table to finish eating. And that's how I was almost accused of being a stalker! Woo Hoo! 🎉 *And his name is John Cena theme plays in background!* So I have learned how to generally (once again exceptions to everything) tell when someone is creeped out be me. I also spent month practicing not staring at people and staring at a ceiling or floor or not staring in one spot, I am still not perfect at it and will occasionally stare at a person or wall for an hour but very rarely now.
"You come off thoughtful, and sometimes a little unsure of how to exist in social space — which just makes you human. And quite endearing." - Pond. Thank you so much. Seriously thank you. Being called human is quite comforting, endearing even more. And a little unsure of how to exist in social space, a very true statement more accurately I am very unsure but have a lot of practice so manage to fake most of it. But here on cups I try to be my inner self, or at least I hope what's my inner self, and not be a unconscious fake manipulater. Well that is unless I think something I would say makes my look super duper creepy or might break one of the rules of cups or I am tooo uncomfortable with it or yahhhh I think ya get the picture, I am rambling hard right now but I am tired soooo yah.
Thank you, for sitting next to me and listening to my ruff ramblings, warm drink in hand. Honestly I could go for a hot chocolate right now or maybe tea? honestly here my words spill very freely, a much needed thing so thank you for listening.
"just a beautiful, very you stream of thought and I’m honoured you shared it with me." Not sure I would say beautiful to my words here but I guess that's eye of the beholder and I trust your azure ones on that more than mine.
"My week was turbulent and gray (funerals, people, family, exes, acquaintances) but your message made it 10x brighter."
Sorry your week was gray people no matter their entanglement with you can be hard in the best of times. It's much harder when emotions. But gray can compliment and pick out all the other colors that are hidden or dull from shining to long. I am glad my massage was helpdul! If there is anything else I can do just let me know and I'll try even tho most of what I can do is limited to typing and GIFs.
🩵 poems 🩵
Missed you too, very much. Love ya
Bear over up down and out 🍁🎶
@7Bear7 I tend to make people cry with my words sometimes… I swear it’s never intentional. I made a penpal chat with Sir Knight and my words touched him too. I never want to make anyone cry whether from sadness or something beautiful. But I’m starting to understand now—tears aren’t a bad thing. Crying is sacred. It’s a releas... a kind of honesty. I actually wish I could cry more. I’m learning in therapy how to access that part of myself, because even when I’m alone, the tears don’t always come. So please, never feel ashamed of your tears—whether they happen in front of others or in the quiet of your room. There’s that verse in the Bible... “Jesus wept.” Even He cried. That means something.
Also—you always make me smile, Bear.
Camp sounds like this beautiful kind of chaos—sleep deprived, volleyball drenched, soaked in hugs and spirit and all kinds of raw, good energy. I’m really glad you got that time. Maybe it didn’t “solve” everything, but maybe it gave you a few puzzle pieces that’ll matter later. That’s no small thing.
And your volleyball team’s energy? Absolute chaos A++ Love that. Also like I’ve said before—I adore your older sisters. But also: note to self—never get in a physical fight with Bear unless I want to get launched into space. Duly noted 😂
I really wish I could have witnessed that baptism. It sounds profound—like something real and bigger than words. Where I come from, baptism is mostly just for babies. My family isn’t exactly religious… My grandma believes deeply and my dad—well, he’s kind of an atheist who still does the rituals for her sake. He’ll show up, pray, make an appearance. But he does quote the Bible sometimes—usually Old Testament stuff—whenever he’s trying to win an argument. Classic.
I’ve actually never been camping, not properly. My grandparents have a cabin but it’s not the rough-it kind. No bunk beds in my life either… and now I want some! Though I do have a hammock so that’s something. I’m seriously considering what you said about going to camp though. If I find the right kind of group, maybe I’ll give it a shot.
And if I may ask—when you mentioned the desire for injury… do you still feel that way? Only if you’re okay talking about it. Because I’ve been there too. Not the sad kind of depression but the angry kind. I didn’t even realize it was depression for the longest time. I was just mad—at people, at the world, at everything that felt unfair. It felt like a furnace I didn’t know how to turn off.
Thank you for being so open. You really do have a gift for making people feel. Not just feel seen, but feel something deeper.
I don’t think “not starting conversations with strangers or making friends easily” is some fatal flaw in you, Bear. Social skills are learnable. I’m an introvert too—a very good one actually—but no matter what room you throw me into... I can hold a conversation (I can also embarass myself but now I am more immune to that feeling). Not because it came naturally but because I was taught how. My parents were big on it—they trained us. Took us to meet people, taught us public speaking, pushed us on stage. It was awkward and often painful but I’m grateful for it now… eh...most days at least. But it was never easy.
You’re already doing better than you give yourself credit for. Remember those two younger girls you told me about? You made them feel safe and cared for. That’s not nothing—that’s huge. In a world where the bar is practically in ***, basic decency is a form of chivalry. You showed up. You mattered.
My sister has ADHD and struggled so much socially growing up. Our dad (not the gentlest of men) pressured her constantly and it left scars. She eventually found her footing—not on big stages no—but she can order a coffee now without spiraling and we’re proud of her for that. We don’t see her as broken. The right people never belittle you for what you struggle with. It’s not the size of your social circle that matters—it’s the heart of the people in it. And you’ve created something meaningful, Bear. You reached out, took initiative. That’s a win.
Also—“gremlin puppy nature”? I love it. You can absolutely be yourself with me. Wait… am I older than you? I think we’re both Gen Z, both in our 20s, so yeah, same age group. And you totally vibe with me. This seed you planted? Already a tree, B.
Now, dude. As someone who once had a stalker (truly a fun story, remind me to share one day) and an obsessive ex (less fun, maybe I will tell you one day by the end of it you will feel sorry for him) let me just say this: you are not a stalker or a creep. If she didn’t like the goodnight texts, she could’ve just told you. Or blocked you. But she didn’t—she went and got her parents involved. And okay, giving her the benefit of the doubt, maybe she was genuinely scared and turned to her parents. But even then, they could’ve just told your parents... “Hey, our daughter feels uncomfortable, can you ask your son to back off?” (sset the intention. Set the boundary. Verbalise the limit of what you can or cannot do) That’s how grownups handle stuff. But they didn’t. So I wonder if maybe it wasn’t even about you—maybe she was more worried about being caught talking to a guy her parents knew. Maybe she had a boyfriend who wasn’t cool with it. Maybe she was scared of being judged. I’m not trying to dig up the past, just saying… not everything that went wrong was your doing.
That said, maybe you could’ve stepped back when things felt off—but I also get it. You had a crush. Crushes make us blind, make us hope. Trust me, I know. And growing up with someone—that kind of history makes the bond harder to let go of. I have a friend like that too, Z. We grew up together—birthdays, summers, the works. No romantic stuff but being around him still feels grounding (and by grounding I mean like a ground filled with lava..infuriating) but because we’ve known each other forever. That comfort matters.
You are not a fake manipulator. Wanting to fit in, mirroring people you admire, trying to seem likable—that’s human. We all do that. That’s not manipulation. I have dealt with manipulators. I’ve got a PhD in it. You may now cite me as Dr Pond “Bear is not a manipulator” – 2025, Dr. Pond, Azurepondering with a Bear 😌
You ramble when you’re tired, when your thoughts are raw and unfiltered—and I love that. It’s genuine. It’s real. I ramble too—usually when I’m high on sugar. Sweets make my brain monologue.
As for family… yeah. I love my siblings and grandparents, but the rest? Not so much. Some of them are textbook narcissists, actual manipulators, stalker-level nosy. It’s like being thrown into a pit of vipers. But don’t worry, I’m a king cobra—I was born into the bloodline, I can hold my own. Still, I hate who I become around them. That’s why I said it’s “gray.” But hey, I loved the way you described the contrast. That imagery? Chef’s kiss.
Thank you for sitting beside me too, Bear. For sharing your thoughts, messy and golden and deeply you.
So here's to warm drinks, wet hugs and not staring at people for an hour unless they're in on it.
And hey… I like the way you see the world. Eldritch gremlin and all.
Always here,
Puddles 🩵
@azurePond
I really want to reply to this, it was beautiful and heartfelt, it definitely made me smile. But I am to tired, I have literally yawned like four times typing this so I love it! I love you, I will respond soon (if i do respond by tomorrow please bug me about it! ;)
Love ya Pond, see ya soon! 🩵
@7Bear7
Aww....that means so much—thank you. I’m really glad it made you smile ☀️
And no pressure at all to reply right away! Get some rest, dream about Pandas on a Pluto mission and, and I’ll be here when you’re less sleepy.
Love you too <3
Hey Bear... I will be taking a break.. again... will be back soon.... gotta take care some family stuf...Take care! Love you!
@7Bear7
Guess who’s back with a splash but no flair?
It’s Puddles—returning from thin air!
I’ve missed all your cheers
Now… where’s Bear, my friend so dear?
@azurePond
Heyo! Glad to see you back! Sorry I didn't respond too your post about leaving, I only saw it like a day after you posted it, and I was at another camp, also didn't really feel like responding I guess?
How was your break?
PS I like the little coming back rhyme/poem!
@7Bear7 Heyyooo!! No worries at all — I totally get it. Life moves fast especially with camps and all. How was this one? Any cool stories? Also, Bear, are you okay? You were under a lot of stress before you left and we didn’t really get a chance to talk about it… are things better now?
The break was... weirdly good? I ended up going back home — my grandfather’s place, not my parents’. Reconnected with some old friends too. Still kind of recharging, but I missed this place (7cups)… and the people.
Glad you liked the rhyme — had to sneak a little drama into my comeback 😄
@azurePond
Many salutations friend. even though this camp was two days shorter it felt longer! It was such a a long camp, I was the full counselor for boy's cabin one, grades going into 3-4. I had a JC (Junior Counselor) he was seventeen and helpful. We only had seven boys in my cabin so it wasn't bad, they were great kids for the most part thou a few of them could be frustrating. I got 15,000 steps Monday and Tuesday and I got 21,000 Wednesday. Also felt nauseous and had a fever last night after I got home but I feel fine other than being really sore from camp today soooooooop, yeah.
We played capture the flag and I managed to get a score by myself and assist with another one. Tho my shins started shaking during the game so I took a break and drank a lot of water, I decided to play one more round of it, but I kinda did a lot more than a round. 👀 So my shins were shaking again, I kinda over did it a bit, but I did quit early and took some Advil and a shower with so that helped.
"Also, Bear, are you okay? You were under a lot of stress before you left and we didn’t really get a chance to talk about it… are things better now?"
Errr I don't really know? I still struggle to figure out what ok is? I think I'm okay? Like I am still stressed but the camps, especially this one where I have friends and adults that I've know my whole life there with me really helped me (relaxed isn't quite the right words, because I wasn't relaxed at camp, I guess more unwind would be the right word?) I don't feel as mental tense, tight, or highstrung, but I definitely feel more physical tense! Ahhh everything is sore! 😭 Lol
Reconnected with some old friends too. Still kind of recharging, but I missed this place (7cups)… and the people.
I am glad you're break was good. Visiting grandparents (or just their old place) can be good for you. I am glad you got to meet some old friends, that can be fun sometimes. Still recharging is fine everyone needs that sometimes. Tho it's funny you used the words recharging because the theme of camp was 'fully charged" and one of the classes was titled "Elijah need a re-charge" so that wording was funny!
Of course of course, I little (or a lotta) drama is always welcome, or well as long as it the good kinda drama! ;) ;)
Thanks Pond always great to chat with ya! 🩵
@7Bear7
Many salutations returned, brave General of Cabin One! 😄
It honestly sounds like you handled a wild ride with heart, stamina, and 21000 steps of pure heroic effort. I hope your shins are on speaking terms with you again — though I must say, scoring in Capture the Flag and assisting? That’s some main character energy right there. (War general vibes)
I’m really sorry to hear about the fever and nausea after camp though — sounds like the exhaustion finally caught up with you. I’m glad you’re feeling better now (even if sore all over). You definitely earned your Advil and that long shower!
About the “are you okay” part — thank you for answering that so openly. What you said makes a lot of sense… maybe okay isn’t a fixed point but more like a moving target. I get the feeling — not relaxed but unwound. That hits. I’m really glad the camp, the people, the familiarity — all of it helped soften the mental tension a bit. Even if your muscles are still yelling 😅
Also — the “recharging” coincidence cracked me up. The universe has a sense of humour, huh? Elijah needed a re-charge, and so did I..so did we...
Thank you for holding space for my dramatics (you do not know what you have unlocked)
You’re always a joy to hear from, Bear. Rest up, re-charge properly and maybe ice those shins a little more?
🩵 Always glad to chat
Puddles over and out.
@7Bear7 Hey Bear,
i’ve been feeling a little off today and found myself missing you.
you’re probably still at camp, right? take care, okay?
also, here’s a lil algae fun fact —
some algae can grow over 200 feet long! the largest species is called giant kelp and there are entire forests of them under the sea.
sea otters love hanging out in those forests — in fact, mama otters wrap their babies in kelp to keep them safe and snug.
isn’t that the cutest thing?
@azurePond
Hey yourself Miss Pond,
Sorry you're not feeling well, hope you find your center soon!
I am actually home from camp, made it back Thursday. It was the last camp of the summer so I should be back for a while! Yay ;) I am trying to take care but a really bad cough and allergies are unaliving my throat, otherwise I am doing decent. I had a graduation party for me yesterday that was long but fun, got to see friends and especially family! I got a pickup truck from my grandpa, it was his dad's, then his, then my dad's, then it was his again he fixed it up and now it's mine. It's really cool so I am very happy about that! You care of yourself too Miss Pondsalot!
"some algae can grow over 200 feet long! the largest species is called giant kelp and there are entire forests of them under the sea."
I HAD NO IDEA KELP WAS A TYPE OF ALGAE!!!!!!!!! THATS SOOOOOO COOOOOOL!
"sea otters love hanging out in those forests — in fact, mama otters wrap their babies in kelp to keep them safe and snug. isn’t that the cutest thing?"
I didn't know that mama otters did that! I knew that adults will sleep holding hands so they don't drift away from each other, but I did know they wrapped otters in kelp! That's sooooo adorable! Yes most definitely one of the cutest things! 🩵💖🩵
@7Bear7 Hey Bear
Yeah... it’s not like I’m sick or anything — it's just my insomnia. It happens now and then, and I know I’ll find my way back to myself soon enough. Also, we’re okay, right? (Forgive me — I overthink sometimes)
I’m really glad you’re back from camp. I guess now it’s time to relax, reset, and just breathe. You survived the season — confetti, parades, honorary medals all around! Sorry your throat’s in open rebellion though. May honey, warm tea, and long naps stand guard by your side.
And oh my god — congratulations on graduating!! I’m so proud of you. I hope you are proud of yourself too, because you should be. I’m really happy you got to celebrate with friends and family .
And that truck? That’s not just a gift — that’s a legacy. I love the lore behind it. Honestly, it feels sacred. May it carry your story just as gracefully now.
As for the otter fact — I knew it would melt your heart! Isn’t it impossibly tender? Just imagine: a baby otter wrapped in kelp like a tiny burrito, floating in a sea that says, you’re safe here.
Honestly, I think we all deserve to be swaddled in seaweed and held by the ocean now and then.
Please take care of your voice, okay?
And thank you — truly — for always meeting my algae facts with full-hearted joy.
It means more than you know.
Miss Pondsalot, signing off
@azurePond
Hiya Puddles
Glad you're not sick, but sorry about the insomnia it can get very frustrating. I am sure you'll find yourself soon, a beautiful Pond is hard to miss. As far as I am aware we are still okey. You're forgiven, Trust me I understand the overthinking, but I am also not good at normal social stuff, I am much better at vibing with people and then hiding in the back when something formal, normal, or important happens. So once again I think we are good. Tho if I ever say/do something that puts you off or offends you, let me know and we'll talk about it. same goes for me to you, I'd personal much rather have a awkward conversation then ruin a friendship from held in frustrations.
I'll try my best to respond to the rest of your messages tonight or soon. Sorry I should have already started on stuff for the day but felt like I should respond first.
Later Miss Puddles,
Bear signing off
@7Bear7
Hi Bear 🐻💓
Thank you for this — it really did soothe something in me. I think sometimes I need to hear that it's okay to be a little lost and still be loved. And I’m glad we’re okay. The “vibing then hiding” strategy? Relatable. Deeply.
I really appreciate you saying we can talk about stuff openly. That matters a lot. I feel the same — I’d rather have one awkward but honest conversation than let something fester in silence. So thank you, truly.
And no rush on the other messages! I’m just happy to hear from you. So so much happy. And no rush on the other messages! I’m just happy to hear from you. Hope the rest of your day flows gently — like a quiet stream with no rude ducks.
Miss Puddles signing off
@azurepond
Hey I am still here, sorry it's been two days. I haven't really been busy so I shoulda responded or said something but idk. I am in one of those weird fazes right now. Just life seems dull and crooked, and ya just search for anything to distract ya, idk what I am saying. It's different then the moments where I just lay with nothing (or maybe with music) and just think so imperfectly logical, when it seems no emotions can shine though. Those moments are better their normal and don't feel so wrong because we'll, they don't feel. It's like a computer going from a high level simulation of (idk something like 3d blender or something complicated.) back down to doing something raw like a calculator or a search engine. But this moment I am in now, one I have had before is more a desperate search to feel something so familiar but at the same time new, like a bird who wants the new experience of flying in space but doesn't want to leave the familiarity of the air.
Anyway I didn't get on just to dump I requested information. I got on to apologize for not getting on and to idk remember anymore, but I am sure there was something? I'll remember it eventually, soooooo have you ever painted?
Anyways see ya for now, I might be stalking around on here for awhile, or maybe not. Idk. Sorry later bye bye! 🩵
@7Bear7 I was just going to text you and your message notification made me happy, Bear! (Havent read it yet , tho)
@azurePond
Glad I can make ya smile!
@azurepond what where you going to text me?
@7Bear7 Oh wait—shoot..!!! I forgot to mention! It was a picture of the ocean, for if you were ever feeling low. Idk why but watching the ocean always calms me down.
(Though I’m actually afraid of water. But I’ve always loved watching it from a safe distance—no boats, no swimming, just quiet awe)
This one’s from a trip I took a while ago. I won’t say the exact location but feel free to G00gle it—the turquoise beauty you see is the Indian Ocean.
@azurePond
Ahhhhh the picture is supre pretty! And that is very sweet thanks you!
I like water too, though apparently not enough considering we literally live on the river and I never go down to just watch it anymore. Maybe I should do that again.
PS I AM DOWNLOADING THAT PIC FOR US AS YOU DESCRIBED.
PSS that first PS was thought in whisper and I accidentally left caps on but thought it was funny
@7Bear7 I am glad that you liked the picture, Bear.
Wow, you live near a river? Maybe you should visit her sometimes, yk, since you are friends with a Pond (ok that was a lame joke..)
Oh loved the caps lock whisper..I heard it like - yk - the scene where the friend is boarding the train, and you are walking away but the friend on the train frantically yelling and waving "goodbye" at you... I read it like that.
Take care Bear,
love you * sending warm hugs *
@7Bear7 Hey Bear
You don’t have to apologise — I get it. Some phases just... stretch, yk? Not busy, not empty, just kind of drifting sideways. And sometimes, the notifications may pile up, you may even read them but you dont have the energy to reply..that's ok ..you are allowed to just exist and think. And it’s ok I don’t think you’re “dumping” — I think you’re describing something most people feel but rarely say out loud. That search for something familiar and new at once — that metaphor of the bird wanting to fly in space but afraid to leave the air? That’s actually kind of beautiful. Also it is the kind of rootlessness you face when an era of your life ends and when you are ready to plunge into a new phase. Could be the graduation blues? Do you wanna talk about it? If not, then think aout it or journal it. Or just sit with it.
And yeah iknw what you mean about those computer mode moments — not really feeling, just... operating. They’re weirdly peaceful sometimes. Like logic buffering you from the noise. If you need to buffer a little longer, that is okay too<3
Anyway, I’m glad you reached out. Even just to say “I don’t know why I’m here.” Sometimes that’s reason enough. I missed you <3 And by that I meant, I miss Bear (not only the happy Bear, not only the curious Bear..this buffering Bear too)
About painting — I used to paint. I do have a bit of talent (not boasting... just being honest.. I used to take art lessons when I was a kid so I do know the basics)
But painting has kind of a tragic history in my life. My biological mother is an excellent painter and my parents are divorced. My father doesn’t really like seeing me paint so I haven’t done it as often as I’d like. Now that I live away from home... maybe I culd start again but I’ve never been able to fully get into it with heart. I don’t have the best relationship with my mother either so maybe painting still feels too tied to her.
Maybe one day... if I manage to mentally separate the two, I’ll be able to return to it.
That said — I love art. I love watching people paint.
One of my best friends is an amazing artist. I sometimes go to her exhibitions and support her — that’s my way of staying close to it.
Other than that... I draw sometimes — for projects, helping someone out with an assignment, or just when the mood hits me. That’s about it.
What about you?
Sending you love and good vibes
Your friend,
Puddles
@azurepond
Hey pond, it's me a Bear
Do you ever sit with someone in silence, not even like hugging, cuddling, next to one another, but just a meditative sitting where there is no phones, music, TV, books, conversation, just absolute nothing but with someone. No? I don't either. But sometimes my heart longs too. Perhaps that is something I could do with God? He loves me like a son, so why not? It's not like I can waste a Being,'s who created time, time. I am sure he wants to spend time with me too. So why, if my heart (and occasionally my mind) longs for it, and I know my God (of father) would want it too, do I not do it? That is a good question you say? Why thank you! But alas, I don't have a answer. It is similar with many other things like praying, reading my Bible, studying my Bible, producing the fruits of the spirit, wearing the armor of God, all these things I want but don't do or do little. And why I ask, I still do not know. I reply. For I am but a man, lost in a sea of life, death, anger, hate, love, joy, despair, peace, truth, lies, calm, fast, and worldly. What am I to do, what I want or what I desire? Which is what, why do I speak for I don't know. Miss Pond who art thou plane?
PS you really don't need to respond to any of that. Like I have no idea what happened, I just wrote, and it kinda became a two or one or maybe even 4 sided monologue that kinda disturbs me. Soooooo yah???????
@7Bear7
Hey Bear,
Your question — “Do you ever sit with someone in silence, not even hugging or touching, just being there, no phones, no distractions, just stillness?” — yeah, I have. But if I’m being honest... those moments were usually laced with sadness. Not peaceful Zen stillness but the kind that comes after a fight or in the middle of some emotional burnout. Still I’ve never not longed for that kind of presence — someone beside me in the quiet, no fixing, no fuss, just… being. I think I am still scared of that kind of vulnerability ( that is a can of worms we wont be opening today) But Bear, longing or that and wanting something like that is a good thing. Human beings thrive on being vulnerable. No man is an island. We need intimacy, that is how we are programmed. It is not a faulty system in you.
But what I have done often is sit alone like that. I like it actually — watching life unfold from a rooftop or a café corner. That strange orange hour when the sky starts to dim, traffic picks up and people are rushing home. There’s something oddly calming about not being in the rush but just watching it. Like I’m part of life without needing to perform for it.
As for everything else you said — first of all.. don’t stress about not having the answers yet. Sometimes the better step is figuring out the right questions first. You’ve got your whole life to figure it out. It’s not a rapid fire exam with a 2 hr deadline, right?
You do know why, I think. And no, it’s probably not some big, dramatic, multi- chapter revelation. It’s likely a quiet, simple truth you’re not quite ready to meet yet. And that’s okay. You don’t have to force anything. Just begin. Talk to God for 5 min, even if it feels awkward. Sketch one thing. Watch one video. Do the small thing. And when your heart is ready...it’ll open the door and show you what it's been afraid of — and when it does, be gentle. Meet it like you’d meet a scared child.
Also... to answer the most critical question:
“Miss Pond, who art thou plane?”
Darling, I am no plane. I am an emotionally volatile rocket which crash lands on all things smooth. So buckle up.
PS. I answered everything anyway — oopsies. Classic Bear moment. Stream-of-consciousness meets monologue. And honestly? Kinda iconic. Soo yeaaah.
Take care Bear
— Pond