@cyanessence Delving into the mind of @azurePond
@azurePond
Hey azure!
I hope you don't mind me making this pen pal chat. I love the way you write and the things you say, and wanted to get to know the person behind the beauty. I don't know... I guess I'm just very curious and impressed!
I can't remember if I've told you this, but I have a pretty bad memory. It's a little hard to explain, but a lot goes missing.
I do remember some things, especially feelings, and I remember you gave some great feedback to one of my philosophical reflections. You asked some profound questions, and they left me speechless. I will get back to them one day, but I've been working on other things.
First, how are you? I also remember you write poetry? It's quite good, I've loved everything so far. I really like your style. Have you been doing much of that lately?
I also can't remember if you're religious. I also don't know if you want to talk about that kind of thing. I'm happy to hear your beliefs.
Any way, I hope you have a good one! I'll see you around.
@cyanessence
Welcome back 💜💕
I hope two great minds enjoy the chat 😁
@Amanda84
Thanks Amanda! I'm still catching up on notifications, but it's been good posting again. I hope you are well.
@Amanda84 Thank you Amanda💜
@cyanessence Hey Cyanessence,
What about you?
@azurePond
Hey, I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it ^^ you have some incredible talents. You are philosophical, poetic, yet grounded and mature. It really is a pleasure interacting with you.
No need to apologise for a late reply. It takes me a while to respond sometimes, and I think it's okay to be a little inconsistent. Life is big and unpredictable, there are many reasons for a delayed response.
How'd the move go? I've been at my place for about 8 months now. Honestly, I'm only here due to lack of better options, but like everything, it has its ups and downs. I would like my own space, but it's less lonely living with people. Also, I don't like moving! I've always just wanted to settle and set up.
Sorry to hear about your fever. I hope you recover swiftly!
I had that too! 99 notifications, haha. I'm still getting through them. It is a nice feeling that people have been thinking of me. You pop into my mind from time to time. I often wonder: what are the answers to your questions? Because I believe they're out there. I think it's no surprise you had so many notifications. You seem to leave quite an impression on people!
I'm well! I've been feeling, for the most part, quite good lately. Perhaps overthinking and overanalysing, but it's not uncomfortable. I had writer's block and emotional burnout for a while, hence my disappearance, but I'm back on track now. I've written a couple more short stories, some poems, and reflected a little. I'd love to share some things with you if you're interested, it's always nice getting an outside perspective.
I love curiosity! I'm truly fascinated by things in general. I wonder why we even ask why, and how things came to be. I wonder about free will and choice, and the meaning of things. I wonder if we knew how the universe would play out, would we agree to take part? I wonder where we'd go if we approached all our questions with an open mind and an honest heart.
I love that there are a diverse array of perspectives on things. I think we must necessarily all be different from one another, and our differences provide a great deal of spice to life. What would the world look like if we all said exactly the same thing? It is special to be unique, and a wonder we can find common ground.
I'm not sure where I land in regards to my beliefs. I, too, believe in a higher power, a cosmic order, and justice. But, some days, I will shift my thinking and try to consider what it would be like if it were different. I will also slip into nihilism occasionally, although I always return to the belief that things are meaningful and have purpose.
It's cool you had a multicultural upbringing. With atheism, Catholicism, Buddhism and other traditions, you've got a good mix of ideas that really promote thought. I'm still learning about all these things, but I'm glad there are so many modes of thought. It's awesome to see such pursuit of truth.
I grew up around predominantly Christianity. I did try it on for a while, but I wasn't feeling it at the time. It felt like my beliefs were being decided for me, and I couldn't "feel the love of Jesus" or anything like that. I used to be an atheist, then I was into agnosticism, but now I'm thinking there may be a higher power. Occasionally, I will read the bible, but I can't help but look at it through a philosophical lens.
Days of disbelief, slipping into nihilism, praying to God, questioning everything... I, too, am a bit of a mess! Perhaps I should put on some incense and clear my mind lol
@cyanessence Oh, thank you so much, Cyanessence. Thank you, thank you. I’m honestly not very good at receiving compliments.
And it really is lovely to be missed. I think that’s one of the most beautiful things about being human.
I think it was Torean who once wrote in a forum post that we shouldn’t let ourselves crystallise into one rigid set of beliefs and become immune to change. We should remain open to new ideas throughout our lives. I don’t remember the exact words but I remember thinking, yes, what a beautiful thought.
And yes, sandalwood incense is a soothing balm for the mind.
*sending you virtual sandalwood incenses *
@azurePond
I will try to show restraint in my compliments. It's an effort, because you strike me as a walking poem. It's cool how you can distill my words into important insight. Your questions on good and bad linger. These concepts are more complex than we know.
I, too, have moved a lot. Often, it was sudden. It was like I was on shifting sands. I couldn't find my place! At least I got used to impermanence.
I live with about 30 people? It's a little community. But I can't often share my writing here. People don't seem to be looking for depth, so I share here.
The longing for another human is moving. If it weren't for others, I wouldn't be here. Even lost connections are fondly remembered, for they formed me.
7 Cups is wonderful. There are not many places for poets to really shine, but this place is alive.
That feeling, that one is simply performing, is exhausting. It has physically weighed me down, made it literally hard to walk. Life shouldn't be a performance for someone else's pleasure. We are not jesters, we are not fools. We have hearts and minds, and when we're seen as machines, it breaks my heart.
I hope you don't find your thinking uncomfortable. I know what it's like to dance on the edge of insight. Like you've almost formed an ancient thought. The pull to the unknown is alluring, and I tell you, the pursuit is worthwhile.
My writer's block... dashed to the wind. Something changed. Now, it's like constant flow.
Lately, I have been admiring birds. In a way, they feel more free, because they are not questioning, just existing. Something we seem to forget to do. We are pushed to work, to produce, to shine. But if we never rest, we will never fly.
It's odd. I feel free, yet the world tells me everything is rigid. I must do this. I must do that. But if I follow current rules, I wouldn't be here. The less often travelled road looks like madness to many. But imagine if the greats never tried to make a difference? Just fit in? Tragedy.
World peace is an interesting idea, but we have to consider diversity and struggle. Without those two things, there is little desire to learn, little material to work with. It's a complex issue I am exploring.
I don't want to collapse belief into one perspective. I like that there is flavour to religion, and like you pointed out, it is all rich philosophy.
Your father sounds like a great person. I would have loved to be taught critical thinking earlier, but I had to wait a long time.
Thank you for the incense.
Here is a story. It is close to my heart. I hope you enjoy it.
Another sleepless night, listening to the dull roar of the thunder that tears asunder every assumption upon which I rest.
The sound won’t ever cease, leaving me lingering on another lie. The reason why I don’t mind is because I find myself reformed. The rock that bore my form melts away, warming the pulse of each day.
My tears are my shield from the weathering storm, tracing thought to feeling, comfort in mourning. While the rain can reflect my pain, it is nothing compared to what I see when I stare at tragedy.
From atop this peak, I speak only so that I may find my way down. I need help to see the mountain from the valley below, before my thoughts become slow. There’s only so much to say about a sun in the clouds, with thunder drumming a beat of wonder.
I guess I hope to see a rainbow, once all is clear. Then I’d have stood near bliss manifest, rewarded for enduring this bizarre test.
Alas, the things I hear, I fear, will never be heard. So I scream to the void, annoyed and content that I wish I wanted more.
<3
@cyanessence
Thank you so much, Cyanessence. “A walking poem”.... wow... thats the highest kind of compliment. Truly, thank you.
And if you find our conversations good, it’s only because of the pleasant and thoughtful company you bring.
I completely understand and sadly relate to the metaphor of shifting sands. We do get used to impermanence, dont we? But I’ve always dreamt of settling somewhere, of belonging to a place. Theres a quiet kind of peace in that.
A small community sounds lovely really. You can always share your deep writings here, of course, but in real life, you get to observe people.... to feel life moving around you. Every person is an experience, yk?
And yes, I agree... even lost connections shape us in their own way.
“7 Cups is wonderful. There are not many places for poets to really shine, but this place is alive.”
I couldnt agree more. People here are having real conversations, keeping thoughts, dreams, and friendships alive.
Performing is exhausting especially in a world obsessed with hustle culture. These days, resting or simply being still... is seen as failure. Yet not everyone has the luxury to pause when the world keeps urging you to keep running. It’s like crossing a busy road with no signals ... if you keep moving with the crowd, you’re less likely to be hit, but the moment you stop, you risk being crushed by the rush.
It’s such a mechanical way to live as you said. We have hearts and minds, yet we rarely stop to feel or think. It breaks my heart too.
Sometimes I find my own thoughts uncomfortable ...they don’t stop when I want them to and it interferes with my sleep. I feel things too deeply... the smallest things can trigger me and it’s exhausting. Writing helps but what brings me the most clarity is movement... packing my bags, travelling, being somewhere new. That always seems to calm the storm.
I’m glad you’ve come out of your writer’s block. I hope you manage to keep this creative flow going and keep writing meaningful pieces.
As for your thoughts about animals... I’ve wondered about that too. Not so much birds but all creatures in general. I dont believe humans have a superior existence but perhaps we do have a superior evolutionary one... in how we use both heart and mind. Sometimes I think Id be happy as a fish or a frog but that would mean not knowing what I know now. I doubt fish think about the stars or God or cinema but I cant imagine a world where I didnt know of such things. Still I suppose a fish would be perfectly content in its own way. Ignorance is a bliss sometimes.
Following, breaking and bending rules - that’s a complicated subject. Society does need structure some kind of framework to keep things from descending into chaos. But the “road less travelled” can be worth taking if it leads somewhere meaningful.
Humans thrive by fitting in... yes... but fitting in should mean finding unity in difference. Unity doesnt have to mean uniformity. We shouldn’t abandon humanity for individuality nor abandon individuality for humanity but rather find common ground... celebrating what sets us apart while stilll being a part of the whole . Perhaps thats an idealistic dream ( less practical) but I like to believe in it.
You’re right ... if the great thinkers had sacrificed their individuality just to fit in, it would’ve been a tragedy. Each person’s unique experience nourishes — or sometimes wounds — the collective soul of humanity.
Ah, world peace… let’s talk about that another time. I’m too drained for it now (not because of the topic but I was doing some work related stuff and it drained me!)
And yes... my father has his moments. Thank you for saying that.
Oh and you’re always welcome.
PS: I hope you’re doing all right, Cyanessence. Just wanted to say your presence is missed. I hope you’re in a good place... writing, thinking, creating. And if not, I’m sending you warm hugs (if they are accepted), good wishes, and quiet prayers. Take care and hang in there💛
@cyanessence The Thunder is a a powerful piece, Cyanessence... it feels raw, rhythmic.... almost like the thunder itself is speaking through you⚡
Looking forward for your thoughts.