Anyone with BPD in a relationship?
Hey community, you can call me Dee. I was recently diagnosed with BPD around the same time as my one year anniversary with my boyfriend (longest relationship I've ever been in). We just moved in together and want to do everything to stay committed to loving and supporting eachother but as many of you know, some days are worse than others.
Anyone else on here with BPD who is attempting to make a long term relationship work? There are not a lot of success stories online. Feels like a bad stereotype. I would LOVE to talk to real people (beating stereotypes) and hear more about your experience... exchange stories and coping strategies.
Thank you for reading!
Hey Dee! I'm Kera. My fiance and I have been together a year. He proposed on our anniversary. We have known eachother since we were kids but dating eachother was never in our mind until just last year when we ran into eachother randomly. We struggle, I cry a whole lot. I worry, make assumptions, ask for a ton of reassurance, but he loves me despite my BPD. He knows how I can be and he does what he can. I guess it's just about finding that one person who knows and understand your mental health. Is willing to help and support you. Our relationships can work and last. It take alot more for us, alot of patience and understanding, but we can do it! The stereotype is what we make it. He too struggles with mental health and being on different medications and also has epilepsy so on my end I try to be supportive but of course having BPD I can make his struggles selfishly about me. I try really hard and so does he. It can be unhealthy at times. Lately we have been having more good days than bad. And my searching for a new therapist hopefully will make things a ton better. Wish you all the best, Dee! Hope hearing about other people and their relationships is helpful to you :)
@adaptableVase7539 I've been in my current marriage/relationship since February 2015. My BPD problems started during my last marriage of 17 years. I divorced him. I met my current husband on an online dating site. We lived together for about 2 years and he was definitely aware that things were "not normal" with me from the very beginning. After a year, he asked me to marry him knowing how I am, but I just wasn't sure at that time and waited another year before tying the knot. Oh, believe me, he has his moments as well, but so far, we seem to be able to keep it together somehow. I have to constantly be aware of my state of mind before I open my mouth to anybody anymore, and it ain't easy, not by a long shot.
Hey! Im Kat and I have bpd. Im in a relationship that is becoming a long term one. I found that it was very helpful when I gave my boyfriend a list of skills that he could pelt at me when I was having problems. This was very helpful.
@adaptableVase7539 Hey. I've been in a relationship for almost 3 years from before my diagnosis to after my diagnosis. We have been able to make it work. So, I think it's definitely possible.
