Bpd and anger

@scarletwitch90 Hello--that makes sense that the anger issues could be related to BPD since intense/uncontrollable anger is one of the criteria that is used to diagnose BPD. I wouldn't feel comfortable claiming to have a magic solution, especially if you've already worked through multiple forms of treatment for BPD and haven't felt like they've been helpful, but I can give a try at sharing some things.

Most of the guidance I've found online for dealing with anger tends to involve having some kind of go-to strategy for what to do in the moment to try to calm down when anger happens. Here's one list of strategies:
https://www.verywellmind.com/manage-anger-in-healthier-ways-425410

Some things I've personally found helpful for myself:

1) Wait before reacting - If I'm afraid I might say/do something reckless or harmful that I regret, I'll try to temporarily hold things in, withdraw from the situation, and wait a certain amount of time until I've calmed down a bit before responding.

2) Cathartic activities - I have certain things I like to do that allow me to connect with and express the energy I'm feeling but without hurting anybody (e.g. doing vigorous exercise, writing my feelings in a journal, listening to angry/chaotic music, creating music/art).

3) Problem-solving - In some cases, my anger is pointing out a real problem that I need to take some action to solve. For example, if someone is repeatedly disregarding my boundaries, I might need to either clearly communicate my needs to them or reduce my interactions with them. And then I'll feel a bit better when I have a practical plan and no longer feel quite as helpless.

4) Acceptance/validation - Sometimes, I find that trying to reduce my emotions backfires. Like if I fight them, they just become resentful that I'm trying to bury/destroy them and they fight back and become even stronger. I feel less internally conflicted when I'm able to see my anger as an ally or something legitimate/useful that is trying to work on my behalf and has some meaningful purpose at its core. Often I have valid concerns that lead to me feeling angry. Or my anger comes from a very vulnerable place and it's just my sensitive/wounded side courageously and compassionately trying its very hardest to protect itself from something that would really hurt a lot. (There's an approach to therapy called Internal Family Systems Therapy that would probably view anger in this sort of way, as a "firefighter" part of the self trying to protect an "exile" part.)

@scarletwitch90 I would suggest using DBT distress tolerance skills when you're feeling emotionally overwhelmed.

@scarletwitch90 You might also try exporing schema therapy .

Learn more about schema therapy here: List of 20 Schema "Modes" & Maladaptive coping strategies.