Do BPD sufferers have empathy ?

BPD people do have empathy. It may be difficult to see what is wrong sometimes and the persons feelings may be blinding them to how wrong that the things they are doing are. Sometimes its an uncontrolled need for control that leads someone with BPD to do and say rude things. The person might not even realise that is unjust.

i have bpd and have absolute 0 empathy

we exist

Just because you dont see an emotion or behavior, doesnt mean it isnt there. Not seeming to have empathy in the work place or in certain situations doesnt equal having zero empathy. Even people without any mental or personality disorders have limitations on their empathy. Just because actions may be interpreted as being done without empathy, doesnt mean there wasnt any. Even if it wasnt show or felt in the moment, it may have been felt later, when emotions had settled, behind closed doors. Many times I have said cruel things in the heat of the moment while my feelings were hurt, only to immediately regret it but unable to get past my own hurt and ego to apologize. Many people with BPD recognize the damage they cause to others and their own relationships and feel terrible about it. The stereotype of those with BPD as selfish, manipulative, and over all bad people runs rampant, even in the medical world. We are people, even those who dont feel empathy for others, and were complex. A total lack of empathy isn't a trait you can try to widely apply to all people with BPD.

They do, except when they don't. BPD-sufferers have very hyper-sensitive limbic systems. One implication of this is that they perceive threat everywhere, so they're very easily pissed off and offended. When they react that way, they're probably going to be very reactively aggressive and not consider the other person's point of view. Ironically, by the same token, that emotional hyperresponse can make them extraordinarily empathetic in other situations because they're very attuned to changes in the emotional atmosphere and other peoples' facial expressions, etc. So it's kind of a cruel joke of nature that the trait that can make them super empathetic in one situation can make them super callous in another.

I can say that it very different for each person. I have a friend who has the Discouraged BPD subtype and us extremely empathetic, I have a relative who has the Self Destructive BPD subtype and has about average empathy.. And then there is my wife who along with having severe Petulant BPD subtype she also has compulsive/pathological lying and absolutely no empathy what so ever.

She punched me and broke my cheekbone, pulled a gun and kicked me while i wrestled my body on top the fallen gun only a few weeks before our wedding all because I told her to stop acting like a child and get dressed for work. She had the nerve a couple hours later to curse me out and yell at me in public because I wouldn't kiss her and be affectionate after just having my face punched in. A week after the wedding she attacked me in the dark and punched me in the face again and threatened my life while i crawled under a dining table until my elderly father came out to help me, all because I called her childish. No empathy ever.

I am a bit shocked at this thread, I have taken empathy tests many times as I know how soft hearted I am about animal abuse, rape, child molestation, rejection, poverty, homelessness and have scored 100% every single time. Since when is lack of empathy a trait of BPD, if it is, I am glad I don't have it

It's not so much a question of empathy, but awareness. When your sense of self is so fragile, protecting it becomes the most important thing, you can't think of anything else. Some people protect by avoiding, others by counterattacking. It can be hard to mentalize, that is, think about how the other person is feeling in a logical way. If someone ignores you in the hallway and you take it to mean they hate you because you are awful, those powerful thoughts and emotions take over. If we know to catch ourselves and be like hey, they didn't say hi because they've got their own problems, things calm down. And most of us, if told straight out how someone is feeling, would probably be very empathetic. But there are many different shades of people and collections of traits.

I find this question to be incredible unhelpful. BPD is primarily diagnosed through behaviours, whereas empathy is a feeling which may or may not be expressed in a number of behavioural ways which may or may not have anything to do with the indicators for BPD. I would think the levels of empathy are just as variable within the BPD community as they are within the whole of the human species. I think this question comes from the negative reputation of BPD and I would say quite strongly that there is no direct correlation nor any logical reason why there would be less or more empathy from someone with BPD.

Sometimes we hide our true feelings about things because we are unable to cope with letting them out in a particular situation or with particular people. That can lead to someone appearing to be less emotional when in fact the internal emotional experience is intense. But this can also happen with other mental health issues not just BPD.

I was an emotionally sensitive child with a tendency to overempathize with others and keep my own emotions hidden. So there may be a relation between empathy and BPD in development. But BPD is essentially emotional instability due to crucial personality developments not taking place when they should.. so I think empathy is just one of many interrelational dynamics that may or may not be involved in BPD development. People with BPD are just as individual as people without that diagnosis so the question is not only coming from a negative place.. but is also over simplistic.

I've been professionally diagnosed with BPD, and I have such a low empathy level, it's notorious within the groups of people that know me. Being hypersensitive and aware of people's reactions to you is NOT empathy, but it can self-defensive measure, which has been conditioned in many sufferers of the disorder.

I'm not claiming to speak for everybody, but I wouldn't say high empathy is a borderline trait at all, and there can be high and low empathy borderlines, but it's best not to confuse situational awareness with empathy, especially when many BPD sufferers tend to misread situations to the extreme. That would be an empathic failure, if one were to view it in that light.

I think it is great that there is a space where everyone can have a say and discuss what it means to have empathy.

My view is that there will always be variation in all groups of disorders and within the general population. Often people do not tick all the boxes for symptoms in their diagnosed disorder or even have atypical symptoms. Even considering this there is a huge amount of comorbidity between mental disorders which can have an effect on empathy. So it is almost impossible prove causality: Does having high or low amounts of empathy predispose you to having BPD? or does BPD predispose you to having low or high levels of empathy?

Personally speaking, I have had friends with BPD who have both high and low empathy. Even within the same individual their levels of empathy change depending on what's going on with them at the time and how their life experience has affected their view of the situation. This is also true of my friends who don't have BPD.

I guess there was never going to be a straight foward answer to this question :)