Do I have BPD
First post as I'm a bit nervous to open up about how I'm feeling. I haven't officially been diagnosed with bpd but I have been told by a therapist years ago that I have signs of it or bipolar. I have been working on getting a referral to a phyciastrist. But these are some things i struggle with, does anyone relate to these issues? Are they a part of bpd?
•almost always been empty, lonely, lost
•being around other people I feel like I'm looking from the outside in, like I'm not really there in the moment
•having anxiety talking to people as if my speech is delayed from what my brain is saying. Almost like I'm talking and not even realize what I've said until I've said it. Stuttering and repeating myself when anxiety is bad
•depressed days where I don't even want to wakeup, have no energy
*self doubt majority of the time but rare spouts of over confidence
* excessively worrying what everyone thinks of me
*constantly overthinking and making a big deal over nothing
*worrying in relationships if they really love and care about me even tho they tell and show me they do. Taking every little thing they do and seeing the bad in it thinking they are trying to hurt me. Worrying they don't want to be around me or with me
*debilitating anxiety about going anywhere in public. Especially driving
*outbursts of anger and screaming and sometimes so upset I say I don't want to be alive anymore(or worse) and acting extremely intense. Then shortly after I come to and realize what I did and I'm so embarrassed
*irribilty, things set me off easily
*panic attacks
There is probably more but these are some things that makes me feel not "normal"
@Abcd12348 I am not an expert, and you cannot get a diagnosis in this forum or anywhere on the Internet.
I do think getting a referral to a psychiatrist is a very good idea. A more experienced therapist than your last one might be a reasonable alternative.
Reading the list of symptoms you've provided, they do all seem to me to be in the general area of anxiety and depression. That is, they seem like they could be caused by a mood disorder, not a personality disorder. So what you've written here does not make me think of BPD. Mood disorders are generally much easier for an experienced therapist to treat than personality disorders.
Charlie
@RarelyCharlie
like they said, its always better to see a professional. Regardless of whether you have bpd or not, you're still suffering and your pain is still valid. I hope you find the answers you are looking for♥️
@Abcd12348
Hey. I'm in the same boat...wondering.
Here's an article that resonated with me, so I went to my psychiatrist who recommended DBT.
Maybe something in that will make sense for you too.
Best of luck -- you are loved.