Frustration and grief
TW: Death, trauma
I was in a psych ward last year and once I felt better and one day before I got released my Mom died unexpectedly. It felt so frustrating to see all of my progress being lost on top of loosing her, who was one of the most important people in my life, that always understood me, that now I feel lost to the point that I’m scared of pursuing therapy. I know it’s irrational but this experience was so Frustrating and traumatic. Oh and my partner left me a few days prior to loosing her as well.
any advice on still being able to get help and overcome frustration and trust issues?
@lostsomebody
Wow, I'm so sorry. That sounds like a horrible experience. 💜 Right when you were feeling better and on the verge of being released, your partner left you and your mom died. In losing your mom, you lost someone very important who was there for you and really understood you and what you were experiencing.
I can't say for sure what would help, but I can say that this site has a lot of people you can talk to and share things with. It's been my own experience that sometimes finding one or two people to talk with who are trustworthy/empathetic can make a difference.
If you'd like to chat with someone, HERE is a list of experienced listeners who accept 1-on-1 chats. You can use the filter at the top to pick a topic (e.g. trauma, grief, BPD). I'm also happy to talk with you if you'd like to schedule a chat with me.
@lostsomebody There's a lot of things in life we, unfortunately, have no control over and it's extremely painful to make an effort to work towards healing, being happier, and then feel your growth stunted by new trauma. While it's true that your mother isn't with you anymore, the memories of her and her love for you still are. She wouldn't want you to give up on life, she would want to see you eventually heal and be happy.
It's okay if healing takes the rest of our lives, it is a nonlinear process full of an immeasurable amount of heartbreaks. But, it's a journey I believe you're strong enough for regardless. You have a lot of potential to keep the things about mental health you've learned so far and the life experiences you've had, both love and pain, close to your heart. Your life has a lot of room to go on and meet new people, to find new love, and to experience joy again.
It's hard to see the blessings in your future now but I promise that more good things will happen and you will wake up one day glad that you can experience them. Life is about the little things, a videogame you like, flowers that grew despite the cement on the road, a pet asking for attention, friends excited to see you, new clothes, movies you like, music, and whatever else you can collect that makes you happy.
