How to support my girlfriend
Hi everyone, I've been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year. She has BPD (quiet), OCD, and autism. This is also my first relationship. I've been struggling a lot lately and I want to be better for her. I want to know how to support her the best I can and how to effectively communicate with her.
Our relationship has been full of ups and downs and we tend to clash a lot because of our differences. I've communicated some things that are important to me: being on time, responding to my texts (i sometimes sent her 4-5 messages and get 1 in response), and sticking to plans. However, I've come to realize that it's hard for her and it's been very hard for me to be okay and not be upset when it happens. I know she's working very hard on it and I just want to be more understanding and patient with her as well because I know she does so much for me despite everything she's going through. Can I get advice on how to love and support her better?
Thank you in advance; I just want to say all of you are valid and all your feelings and emotions are as well. Sending lots of love and support
@midknightcare
A relationship is a partnership and there is give and take......and sometimes that is not waiting for them to conform but maybe re-evaluating your times.......
being on time to me is important but i realize other have a different definition as i am always a bit early and for me that is correct while they walk in on the dot or a few minutes late ....... i used to let that get to me but now see i was too rigid in my definition.
i really do not get the text issues some have with i wrote at x amount of time i expect a response by a certain time and an equal about of dialogue back.. i feel this is why some i know hate texting at all thinking they have x amount of time to respond and so forth....... IMO that dos not help dicussion by putting people on the spot.......
you say she is working on it what are you doing to meet her halfway in those items may not be as important to her.
my comment is gonna be useless since i don’t have a say about it. i have bipolar, depression, and anxiety and i’m still trying to figure out what i want or need in a relationship but i just want to say that you are such a good partner. my (soon to be) ex boyfriend is having so much doubts about us because of my illnesses and i’m getting tired of trying to explain everything to him, i have been working on myself for the longest time and i know that i’m getting a lot better but he just wants me to instantly get “cured” so i have been hiding my frustrations from him in hopes that it wont scare him even further but what i’m getting is more frustration. i know that it must be very hard for you too and i applaud you for asking for help instead of running away like mine. so sorry again if this doesnt help
Something that helps me a lot is reassurance. We can get really scared of our loved ones leaving us or not really caring about us, which is usually my main trigger. So being reminded that someone cares can help a lot
