I think I have BPD... And I'm feeling very lost about it...

I'm in England, and our GPs here mostly specialize in some branch of medicine or other (even though they're GPs). So it can be useful to see a GP who specializes in mental health, if you can find one.

Many GPs seem to dislike self-diagnosis, so if the GP you see is like that it might be a good idea not to say anything about BPD. But do mention those issues since childhood, the feeling of emptiness, the rages, and your distance from any friends. Some people write down a list of the six worst things they are troubled by so they can read it out or just hand it over.

If you particularly want a formal diagnosis, you'll usually have to see a psychiatrist (or sometimes a clinical psychologist) for that. You might have to insist so that your GP gives you a referral, otherwise you might only get counselling.

If your GP is not helpful, go to a different GP.

Those are all the suggestions I can think of at the moment. Message me or reply here if you'd ever like to discuss all this some more.

@menoetius

@menoetius Hi there. You're definitely not an imposter posting in a BPD forum. One of the most "fun" things about BPD is that many of us don't have a clue who or what we are, and even the most well-meaning counselors and doctors often don't see the entirety of our traits and put it all together; beyond that, there's been such a stigma associated with being a borderline that some professionals hesitate (or even refuse) to give people the label. The other challenge with a counselor identifying someone as BPD is that there are nine traits defined in the DSM and if you have five of them, you are considered BPD. But with those nine traits there are a total of 256 combinations (I haven't verified that math, but it's what I have read in quite a few places), so that means that you could have 256 different people in a room, all with BPD, and each would present as a borderline differently (granted, there would be some overlap of course, and the room would likely explode if 256 of us were in there all once, but I think you catch my drift).

Only once in my 20+ years of therapy has anyone connected the dots and recognized that I have eight of the traits of BPD and then said "I think you might be a borderline". I immediately jumped on it, switched to a DBT therapist, and then proceeded to lose all interest in it, forget about the (possible) diagnosis, switched counselors - again - and then again - and again - until four years later when a counselor happened to toss out the words "object constancy", and upon researching truly dove into learning about BPD, and well, here I am.

I tell you all this for a couple of reasons. The first is that, as I mentioned above, you will be hard-pressed to find a mental health professional that will label you as BPD. While some will argue that giving you the label is not useful, I disagree because I have found that learning about the primary traits (and then about many of the secondary ones that aren't technically diagnostic criteria for the disorder) have helped me chart a direction towards recovery (which is a path I'm just barely getting on). Having a label and a reasonable understanding of the traits has been helpful for me because it has allowed me to know that there are other people that feel like I do, and by extension would be able to understand how I feel. This is good for me because I tend to be the type of borderline that feels very, very alone and feels like no one understands how much effort it takes to hold myself together while going to work or trying to have relationships or driving a car or ... (et cetera).

Anyway, having the label of BPD isn't as important (in my mind) as knowing what it is you have going on inside you, the pieces that work against you. You may be borderline, you may not, so I recommend you look on the web (on something that appears to be a reputable site) for the nine traits and maybe with some examples of each to help you understand. If you read the traits and the examples and feel like you can really relate, I think that the best thing you can do is to find a counselor (well, you should probably find a counselor regardless, but if you find that the traits of BPD resonate, I recommend finding one that is skilled in DBT - Dialectical Behavior Therapy) and explain your symptoms, being sure to tell them that you don't know "what you are" but that the examples of the specific traits you relate to are the easiest way for you to give a brief overview of what's being going on for you.

So, the long and short of it is that you need a counselor, and while they can likely help you find out what type of help you need, if you have reason to believe you may have BPD then you're going to need to do some of the legwork yourself so that it doesn't take you 20+ years to get on the right path (this is very common for people who are ultimately diagnosed with BPD).

Best wishes to you and I'm glad you are taking the steps to get yourself to a better place.

- Jay

Thank you both for your replies! I went to the doctor and she suggested I start therapy and see how it goes from there, so hopefully I will be starting IAPT soon! Does anyone have any experience with this in the UK?

Hi, I'm so impressed about the willingness to be vulnerable and seek support on this forum.

Having had a BPD diagnosis, and many other diagnosis over the years, and now being a mental health clinician, what I am realizing as it's not the "label" that is as important as what a client identifies as problematic and determining solutions from there. BPD has many close relations to Bipolar. But what it boils down to is identifying behaviors that no longer serve you, and replacing them with healthy ones.

So, I'm saying that if you engage in self harm , or have really really thin skin, or do a push-pull in relationships....the DSM criteria need not necessarily be met to make positive change in your life. (I do realize it's reassuring to know you have a diagnosis that can explain things clearly)

You are the captian of your ship. Be confident in being honest in a safe space and addressing what is important to you. You don't need a diagnosis to affirm what is real to you, or to be a part of this forum, because what you are feeling is real and you are supported. The state of the art treatment for BPD is DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy). It is basically teaching emotional regulation.

You've got this! You've taken the first steps and those are the ones that lead to amazing paths! Keep on keeping on, k?

Diana

Hi! I have been told by my psychiatrist on more than one ocassion that I have BPD. I have been very reluctant seeking treatment for the past so many years but I finally am seeking treatment and also going to therapy. My question to all of you is whether does BPD involve being inconsistent. I miss work a lot and I am very inconsistent in following habits like doing exercise or sleeping on time. One of the things that happens is when something impending, some emotionally taxing decision is weighing me down so IIend up not wanting to do my routine. One more thing is I seem to be happy only when I am around people and noise. It doesn't matter even if I am not talking to them but I like being around people. Also silence scares the shit out of me and even if I listen to music it doesn't calm me down. Eventually I have to find something exciting and I end up binge watching Netflix waste my time and waste my next day and then the next and so on. Can you guys relate to this? Please help