Need Advice.
I don't even know where to start really. I have been living with and managing my BPD on a daily basis for over 20 years, I also have Schitzoaffective Disorder along with PTSD from past life events, and it feels like they are all having a 3 way cage match and I'm the gal caught in the middle and taking all the damage from everything. The pandemic has completely and thoroughly destroyed what was once a very robust and healthy support system and I have been trying to self manage as best as possible without any clinical, peer, family or friend support for over 6 months now and all of the coping strategies I have learned over the past 20+ years are all starting to fail miserably and I have modified them in every way possible as time went on to make them still viable for as long as possible. I have tried reaching out to new people as well as some old ones to try and rebuild a new support system, but because these are hard issues for most people who don't have any lived life experience or understanding past what the media and Hollywood feeds them, it feels like I am screaming into the wind when trying to connect with people and help them understand the internal f4 tornado currently rampaging my whole body and mind. I am definately in an acute phase of my BPD and I suspect also my Schitzoaffective has also entered an acute phase. I am connected with my local mental health agency, but a little over a year ago and just 2 months before the pandemic I had my longtime worker switched due to her taking a new position. I have tried working with her replacement and we haven't been able to make a connection and I had requested a new one and was turned down and told I would have to work with the new one or no one, which I find to be a little inflexible, especially considering the pandemic and my acute state. Anyways I have absolutely no idea how to find people that understand and can connect with me to give me the much needed help and support to at least get me into the recovery phase. I live alone, am an orphan, have no friends really because of the struggles I have in making them, and even my coworkers are somewhat distant because as much as I try to hold it together at work, cracks and slips have been happening throughout the day that have become noticeable and now I fear for losing my job, which I am crazy lucky to still have during the pandemic. Anyone have any advice on how I can effectively rebuild a support structure given my current situation? Thanks for listening.
@MischievousMia Developing your support system isn't easy, especially during a pandemic.
The University of Buffalo (social work division) offers this guide about how to build your support system.
Some of the key ideas are:
* You can stay in touch and show appreciation to existing friends/ accquaintences and develop your relationships with them.
* You can volunteer somewhere, especially in a team effort /working with a group on a project or cause you are passionate about.
* You can Take up a sport or join a gym.
* You can start a book club / join a local book club / join a virtual book club
* You can join professional organizations (for example a local engineers club)
* You can join a support group for people struggling with issues similar to yours (for example: a depression support group)
Regarding 7cups, we also have Personality Disorders themed weekly support groups: Scheduled sessions for March 2021.
Hello, and thank you for all of the wonderful suggestions. While normally I do try and do a pile of volunteer work and have connected myself with 3 different agencies to do so, all of them are currently shutdown to the point where they are keeping volunteer and nonessential workers away still. But normally they do offer huge amounts of resources to mine and turn into the fuel I need to keep moving forward. As for friends, one of the unfortunate side effects of my BPD and PTSD is the extreme difficulty in making them, and one of the side effects of being schitzoaffective is that you tend to push people away in moments of confusion, fear and paranoia. And if they aren't strong enough friends, they don't come back not knowing that pushing people away is a classic side effect. All of my local gyms are under severe restriction and being a transgender woman, I definately have preferred workout establishments. Joining 7 cups was about the closest thing I could do to try and find some advice on how to rebuild the support network. And I've only really touched the top of the iceberg. I really don't want to express my level of struggle here as it wouldn't be appropriate, I just need ideas as I'm all fresh out. But those scheduled support sessions are definately something that sounds worth checking out. Thank you for the info.
@MischievousMia Thank you for sharing your story and your struggles. That was really brave of you. All your struggles are valid. It isn't easy to make and keep friends when you are suffering from emotional instability and paranoia. Sometimes, being in a support group can help.
Are there any local LGBT groups that you can join?
Also, I would encourage you to take a look at these virtual Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Support Groups, which are held via videoconference.
You can take a look at these virtual LGBTQIA+ support groups.
For local support, take a look at the PFLAG Chapter Network--with over 400 chapters across the United States, which provides confidential peer support, education, and advocacy to LGBTQ+ people, their parents and families, and allies.
You can find your local chapter here: https://pflag.org/find-a-chapter
Hello Starlitsky, thank you very much for your reply and suggestions. And no it's really not easy to create or maintain friendships when your dealing with daily issues I am, and I just wish that more people I deeply care about would just educate themselves to properly understand what I am struggling with and why sometimes I push people away or feel the need to retreat from the world. And as for the lgbtq+ groups, there aren't any that exists anywhere close to me and I have actually been the one providing lgbtq+ support at our towns local peer support hub as I'm one of the few out, open and willing to support our lgbtq+ community and help people advocate when necessary. And that does make me feel really good that I am able to at least provide a supportive ear to someone who is going through a major life change, no matter what letter they come out as, each is as stressful as the next to each person struggling with coming out and being able to live thier true authentic self. But again this is largely dependant on the peer hub being able to accept in person events again. And WOW, I have been lookin g for something like those virtual BPD support groups but haven't been able to find anything like that. It's just too bad that all of the future meetings are at capacity and wait list o ly status, but still, worth a try. And while I appriciate the LGBTQIA+ support group links, I have no struggles in the area of myself in that way. I am very comfortable with who I am and love being me. It's more the BPD and schitzoaffective that are the issues right now. One reinforces the other and I'm just caught in the middle and it feels like even my own mind is marginalizing me. Anyways, again thank you for the link to the virtual BPD groups, even though I have to wait list, still worth a try.
@MischievousMia I hope that the virtual suport groups are helpful for you. Also, we have Personality Disorders themed weekly support groups on 7cups: Scheduled sessions for March 2021.