The Neutral Treatment
My friend who is kinda my FP is giving me the neutral treatment and my brain is literally on fire. I did everything, stayed away from the phone, went to exercise, went for a haircut, spent time with my family, went out to eat, and my head is still messed up. Few days back, she was being pretty rude to me (that’s just how she is, she has low EQ and idk she’s so mentally strong and independent, and really doesn’t give a damn about anything, but that day it was even more ), and I got so mad and shouted at her asking her why she was so rude today. I had a BPD episode after that and broke down in public and all that. The next day I didn’t go to my classes just to avoid seeing her, she didn’t bother messaging or anything, then two days later I couldn’t stand the stonewalling and messaged her a long paragraph about my day and she gave a neutral ‘nice’ the next day which made me feel all sorts of negative emotions and my brain just lost it again. What’s worse is we are working on a project for BPD ( hilarious ) and she basically knows everything about it now, and how neutral treatment and stuff affects the BPD person, and she knows that I have it too because I’m so dumb and share everything with her, my triggers, and everything.
I haven’t replied to the ‘nice’ yet, I don’t know what to do. I’m so sick of feeling these intense emotions every second, and I hate how my FPs are always low EQ *** who don’t give a damn at all, like it genuinely doesn’t affect them at all. My old FP ( who totally broke me ) now recently got into a relationship with her old crush and everything is going so horrible, and even though I blocked her everywhere and stopped being her loyal puppy, it doesn’t affect her one bit, like she just walks around without a single bit of guilt like how?????
why do we feel this so intensely while they get to walk free ?
@lonelyBee404
What is FP? In the future, mention the word and the abbreviation for it, one time in the beginning; and you wont have to for the rest of the post. I have been trying to guess it, but I am still not sure what FP is.
Either way, I would like to say we cannot control what others say, think, or do. Some people will not feel guilty for what they did or how much they had negatively influenced someone's life. The best you can do, is accept it is what it is, and move on. Other times you may need to work on your triggers and find what best work to keep your cool. If she has been super rude to you and you have let her know, and she isn't caring; it may be best for you to slowly distance yourself and find new friends. When friends don't check up on you, I think it says a lot about your position in their heart. The people you surround yourself with, says a whole lot about you and the quality of your relationships.
I think what you may also need to learn and set is boundary. If you allow someone to walk all over you, you will be nothing to them and probably is if they can treat you in such rude ways. I know there are in group slangs and all that, but even then there are line you don't cross.
I hope you the best and to meet great friends.
FP is favorite person… that’s a really common term used by people with BPD. It’s pretty tough for people with bpd to just distance from their FP, either way appreciate the reply.
@lonelyBee404 I'm sorry you are struggling with the intense emotions and desperately wanting attention from your FP but not getting it. It doesn't always help in the moment but knowing that these intense feelings will pass might offer some hope. It is unfair having to deal with it while others don't struggle. You are not alone.
@lonelyBee404
Dear LonelyBee,
I can only imagine how painful it must be for you to get ignored in such a manner. I know that this is difficult, but personally I don't see any better course of action than to let this person be and not contact them again. See, in writing them these furious messages, it doesn't do any help. You are giving your power in their hands and show them that they have so much control over you.
I am inviting you to take back your control and that is done only in letting go, accepting that this are now the terms you are on and scratch them as your favorite person. Because from the sounds of it, it doesn't seem like this person deserves that title.
I am not you and cannot possibly know all the details of your situation, therefore take this what I wrote just as an option you have. You do what you see as best for you ❤️ I hope that this post provides some clarity though. Sending you lots of support!
