Toxic Relationship
I have a borderline personality disorder. Has been with the same man, completely infatuated with this man, for nine years. He's very emotionally abusive and completely drains me of all my money, self-esteem and motivation to do anyting to make my life better. He says we have an open relationship which is just his way of allowing himself to cheat on me without guilt. When he's around I wish you was gone and when he leaves I feel lost oh, completely unable to breathe or function in any real way. He has segregated me from all of my friends and family. I'm ready to move past him but have no real support. I need some friends.
[Edited by QuietMagic 11/3/21 per guidelines on stigmatizing language]
@Jesse050981
Hi--I'm sorry that he has been so abusive in so many ways. From what you've shared, you're really dissatisfied with the situation and want to move past him and try to start a new life. But when he's not around, it feels very lonely or like you're completely unsupported--because he has segregated you from everyone--and it's a bit panic-inducing to imagine being on your own. 💜
I hope you're able to find some of that support you're looking for. If you'd like to talk with someone, HERE is a list of experienced 7 Cups listeners who accept 1-on-1 chats. HERE is a resource I was able to find that has some tips for how to leave an abusive relationship.
Hi. I read your story, I almost felt trapped myself just reading it. What a terrible situation to be in. Put all that garbage on one side of a scale and your freedom and yeah a little uncertainty on the other...which way does it tip? The uncertainty and fear of being alone will quickly turn to excitement once you experience it. Like any unknown it can mess with your thoughts ahead of time (because that’s what we do) but then more often than not, once we are there it’s actually not as bad as we made it out to be. Preparing is key, get some money saved, have as much figured out ahead of time as you can so when you do walk away your not left standing there like now what! Got a friends place you could crash at for a while? Shoot, even a women’s shelter would be better than being abused and please fight the urge to minimalize it, like oh maybe it’s not that bad...yeah it is that bad, nobody deserves to live like that and once your out and can reflect you’ll be like how did I put up with that for so long? I know you’ll be ok on your own, I had to do the same thing and it sucked but now I’m free and much happier. Start planning your escape.....
@Jesse050981 Sounds like he is almost torturing you.. I think if you really wanna end this endless emotional suffering and instability you need to consider breaking up, especially if an "open relationship" isn't acceptable for you. I believe you can survive without him. At first, it will hurt a lot, but I believe later you will gain a sense of freedom and relief. And I believe you will find someone who will truly love you and care about you. =)
