Understanding BPD *Potential Trigger Warning*
May is Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month
Borderline Personality Disorder affects 2-6% of adults. The disorder is one that is least known and least understood by many people including professionals. The intention of this post is to educate and inform the community about BPD and it's causes, as well as provide information about treatment. I would like for this to be a place where we can discuss the topic and learn from one another. I hope you find this post informative.
What is Borderline Personality Disorder?
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by a strong pattern of unstable relationships, self-image, or emotions. People who suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder often have a hard time managing their emotions and feel things at an intensity higher than that of someone without borderline personality disorder would feel them. People with Borderline Personality Disorder also often experience an intense fear of abandonment, engage in self-harm, and many of them will attempt suicide at least once. There are 9 diagnostic symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder and in order to be diagnosed an individual must meet 5 of the 9 criteria. The diagnostic criteria according to the DSM-5 is listed below:
(1) frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5
(2) a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
(3) identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
(4) impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, Substance Abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).
Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5
(5) recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
(6) affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
(7) chronic feelings of emptiness
(8) inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
(9) transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms
What Causes BPD?
This question is not as easy to answer. The Biopsychosocial theory best explains what may lead a person to develop the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder. .
The bio part of the theory refers to biological factors that can lead to this disorder. This includes genetic factors and abnormalities in parts of the brain. It is known that a person is more likely to develop Borderline Personality Disorder if a parent or a close family member suffers from the disorder. It is also known that people who suffer with borderline personality disorder have abnormalities in the parts of the brain that control emotion regulation and impulsivity.
The psycho part of the theory refers to the psychological factors that can lead to this disorder. This includes experiences that lead to thoughts and emotions which ultimately lead to beliefs about ones self.
The third part is social which is just how it sounds. It involves cultural, familial, socioeconomic, and medical factors. It also deals with how we interact with others. We often learn how to behave based on our interactions with other people. For example people with Borderline Personality Disorder have often learned maladaptive coping mechanisms because of invalidation.
Treatment
To date the best known treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder is Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. DBT is under the umbrella of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy that focuses on teaching the individual more effective ways of managing emotions and coping with their intense emotions.
Medications are often used to help with symptoms of BPD such as antidepressants and mood stabilizers, but there are no specific medications designed for BPD specifically.
Resources for those with BPD
BPD Support Community on 7cups
https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com
Discussion questions:
1. What kind of supports have you found in your community or online that have been helpful in managing borderline personality disorder?
2. BPD is often highly stigmatized by society, why do you think that is, and do you see any steps we could take as a community to change the stigma associated with BPD?
3. What are some things that you wish other people knew about BPD?
4. How could someone support you when you are struggling with your BPD symptoms? How could a listener on 7cups best support someone with BPD?
5. What else would you like to know about Borderline Personality Disorder
This is such an informative post and I'm happy for May, BPD needs more awareness and also to be better understood by people in general, be it professionals so they better offer support (or listeners, volunteers), family members and family to understand the reasons or just anyone so they acknowledge that: every reaction has a reason behind it! 
1. What kind of supports have you found in your community or online that have been helpful in managing borderline personality disorder?
My therapist is certainly a great help and also 7Cups. Things like this, are helpful!
2. BPD is often highly stigmatized by society, why do you think that is, and do you see any steps we could take as a community to change the stigma associated with BPD?
It's badly interpreted. People can read and hear about it, but don't even scratch the surface. Don't look beyond how people with BPD react, they don't see the reasons behind it, so think what you see is everything. Media has a bad reputation when representing BPD as violent and unstable people that can't hold a relationship. It's not as black and white as that. It's not "terrible" nor "amazing", no one is either 100% terrible or 100% amazing. It involves more percentages, more values.
3. What are some things that you wish other people knew about BPD?
About "quiet BPD", that not everyone acts "out" and may act "in". That doesn't mean they aren't suffering as much or are better. Their symptoms appear differently, that's all. When someone struggles with a mental disorder, they don't experience the same symptoms in the same order and intensitity. It's not that simple, it's complicated. And someone may experience symptoms at different times, or other conditions may get involved etc.
4. How could someone support you when you are struggling with your BPD symptoms? How could a listener on 7cups best support someone with BPD?
Personally, understand. Or try to understand. No need to say it's my fault or your fault or whose fault is - blaming someone won't help me nor you. You'll feed into my doubts and chances are, it won't end well.
I'd say, similar thing for a listener. Try to understand. Don't put blame on them, or their parents, relatives, friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, just because it seems like will help them. Be imparcial and validate them, their struggles are real. Set boundaries and let them know what your boundaries are, and let them say how they feel about it. Give them a safe place to vent, don't judge.These chats can be difficult, so if you feel overwhelmed, don't just ignore them and stop replying - say you're not feeling experienced enough and offer to find another listener or tell them how they can find another listener.
5. What else would you like to know about Borderline Personality Disorder
Maybe ways to manage certain symptoms. Ways that for those not yet on therapy, can help; and that for those that are on therapy right now, can be an extra help.
@eviesweet
Im glad you found the post informative and Im glad that May is BPD awareness month also. It is definitely important for people to be more aware of the disorder and to understand it better to aid in better treatment of and for people with BPD.
Im really glad that you have a helpful therapist and that youre a part of this community as well! I agree. 7cups helps me a lot as well.
People definitely dont look beyond the surface and think that a lot of the borderline behaviors are just because borderlines are bad people. They dont see the reasons behind the actions. The media is awful when it comes to representing BPD. I find it funny that you bring up the black & white thing, people criticize us for black and white thinking, but what about their black and white thinking about what BPD is?
I think its a good point you bring up that some people with BPD are more quiet about it than other. I know for me I used to really externalize everything, now I internalize it and people dont always believe me when I say I have BPD… but rest assured, I do.
People trying to understand is definitely a huge thing. I like that you bring up that blaming doesnt help anything.
I love your advice for other listeners. I wish more listeners had such a great understanding of BPD and knew how to help us. I may have to find you on my member account sometime :P
I think that managing the symptoms can definitely be a challenge. Have you ever heard of or tried DBT? It has helped me get the majority of my symptoms under control :)
@InvaderStitch DBT isn't widely spread here, and it's not something therapists focus on (they don't focus on specific therapies) but I've been curious about finding information, sadly most involve buying books + shipping. Need to look more!
The black and white idea was something I realized probably a week ago. People (at least around me) have a tendency to focus on the all or nothing, specially when trying to help someone. So if I said "my friend hurt me" they'd reply "oh they were the worst, leave them" but if I later said "they apologized" they'd reply with "they're amazing! you're lucky".They say it as a way to prove a point, that I'm right/wrong about what I said, and that's not the way to go. It's different, in the end - but can feed into the symptom. Thought was interesting, so thought about explaining it.
I have a theory that people around us don't know they are doing this, but are triggering BPD symptoms on those around them that might struggle with BPD with their own distorted behaviors 
I shall reflect more on it.
And thank you <3
Can somebody tell me what BPD is pkease
@DarkLiliSad
its borderline personality disorder, otherwise known as emotionally unstable personality disorder
No doubt !! it is really a helpful post ,... thank you very much
1. What kind of supports have you found in your community or online that have been helpful in managing borderline personality disorder?
If you would have asked me a year ago. My answer would just be my therapist and psychiatrist. Now, they are still a part of my support, but aside from professional support, I've come to accept that my family is as supportive as they know how and are able to be. They may not know how to support me in the best ways, but I've accepted that they do care about me and want the best for me. I think after 13 hospitalizations in 3 years they realized maybe I needed some support also. I used to go a week or more at a time without hearing from anyone, but now every couple of days I get a call from my mom to just check in and see how I'm doing. And every few days my cousin checks in with me. Neither of them know what to say when things get challenging, but they offer to listen, which is more than they did before. I also have a couple of friends who I consider to be great supports as well, especially my friend Hayley. She works in the mental health field and so she understands when I'm struggling and doesn't judge me for it, and last time I was in the hospital she stepped up and took care of my dog while I was a way. I also have my 7cups family. Yes, I consider my listeners to be like family.
2. BPD is often highly stigmatized by society, why do you think that is, and do you see any steps we could take as a community to change the stigma associated with BPD?
I think BPD is highly stigmatized by society because of the portrayal of BPD in the news and in the media. The news and media make people with BPD seem cruel and manipulative. I think a lot of the stigma also comes from people being quite ignorant about the disorder and the struggles that people with BPD experience.
3. What are some things that you wish other people knew about BPD?
People with BPD are doing the best that we can. We're not horrible people, and though at times we hurt others, it's not generally our intention. We act out in ways because it's how we've learned to get our needs met and survive.
4. How could someone support you when you are struggling with your BPD symptoms? How could a listener on 7cups best support someone with BPD?
I think the best way someone can support me when I'm struggling with my BPD symptoms is to validate my experience. Don't tell me to get over it or that I'm over-reacting. People with BPD are often product of an invalidating home environment and so further invalidating them can make the symptoms worse. Also, I don't want to hear that you "understand" because if you don't have BPD you probably don't understand. You can certainly empathize but you can't really fully understand what a BPD episode feels like. Also, please don't try to problem solve with me. When I'm experiencing my BPD symptoms problem solving is the last thing on my mind. I just need to get my emotions under control so that I can think more clearly.
5. What else would you like to know about Borderline Personality Disorder
Honestly, I know quite a bit about BPD already. I've been researching it ever since I was diagnosed in 2012 and just finished writing a 5 page research paper on the topic. I guess if I had to pick one thing to understand more it would be the neurobiology behind the disorder and how the brains of people with BPD differ from people without BPD and why these differences make us act the way we do.
n
support this
Makes me wonder if I have this. Hmm
@ReservedExcitement
If you exhibit the symptoms and you think you might have borderline it's best to talk to a mental health professional. :)
How can I be sure I have BPD. Like where can I go to get checked. I feel like i fit in this, but I don't wanna assume. I read a bit on it and i could just relate to the general stuff. The more I read the more I think I have BPD.
@Blackstone you can come to a psychologist to get a test on BPD or other mental disorders.
This really made me feel a lot lighter. Thank you. I was diagnosed three years ago and it feels so up and down and that gets scary.
@chloelizwhite
I am glad that this post made you feel lighter! Thank you for taking the time to read it <3
@InvaderStitch
Thank you for a great post! And actually the reason why I reached out to 7 cups today of all days in the first place.
My fiancée struggle with this, and we are having some difficulties working around it, as she isn t entirely in control when it happens... and a minor thing turns into Hiroshima in a heartbeat!
I wish there was a "idiots guide to live with someone with DBT" or at least some simple groundrules that would make it easier on both parties and the relationship!