Understanding BPD *Potential Trigger Warning*
May is Borderline Personality Disorder Awareness Month
Borderline Personality Disorder affects 2-6% of adults. The disorder is one that is least known and least understood by many people including professionals. The intention of this post is to educate and inform the community about BPD and it's causes, as well as provide information about treatment. I would like for this to be a place where we can discuss the topic and learn from one another. I hope you find this post informative.
What is Borderline Personality Disorder?
Borderline personality disorder is characterized by a strong pattern of unstable relationships, self-image, or emotions. People who suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder often have a hard time managing their emotions and feel things at an intensity higher than that of someone without borderline personality disorder would feel them. People with Borderline Personality Disorder also often experience an intense fear of abandonment, engage in self-harm, and many of them will attempt suicide at least once. There are 9 diagnostic symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder and in order to be diagnosed an individual must meet 5 of the 9 criteria. The diagnostic criteria according to the DSM-5 is listed below:
(1) frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.
Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5
(2) a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
(3) identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
(4) impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, Substance Abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).
Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5
(5) recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
(6) affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
(7) chronic feelings of emptiness
(8) inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
(9) transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms
What Causes BPD?
This question is not as easy to answer. The Biopsychosocial theory best explains what may lead a person to develop the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder. .
The bio part of the theory refers to biological factors that can lead to this disorder. This includes genetic factors and abnormalities in parts of the brain. It is known that a person is more likely to develop Borderline Personality Disorder if a parent or a close family member suffers from the disorder. It is also known that people who suffer with borderline personality disorder have abnormalities in the parts of the brain that control emotion regulation and impulsivity.
The psycho part of the theory refers to the psychological factors that can lead to this disorder. This includes experiences that lead to thoughts and emotions which ultimately lead to beliefs about ones self.
The third part is social which is just how it sounds. It involves cultural, familial, socioeconomic, and medical factors. It also deals with how we interact with others. We often learn how to behave based on our interactions with other people. For example people with Borderline Personality Disorder have often learned maladaptive coping mechanisms because of invalidation.
Treatment
To date the best known treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder is Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. DBT is under the umbrella of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy that focuses on teaching the individual more effective ways of managing emotions and coping with their intense emotions.
Medications are often used to help with symptoms of BPD such as antidepressants and mood stabilizers, but there are no specific medications designed for BPD specifically.
Resources for those with BPD
BPD Support Community on 7cups
https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.com
Discussion questions:
1. What kind of supports have you found in your community or online that have been helpful in managing borderline personality disorder?
2. BPD is often highly stigmatized by society, why do you think that is, and do you see any steps we could take as a community to change the stigma associated with BPD?
3. What are some things that you wish other people knew about BPD?
4. How could someone support you when you are struggling with your BPD symptoms? How could a listener on 7cups best support someone with BPD?
5. What else would you like to know about Borderline Personality Disorder
Tagging some people feel free to tag anyone else you think might be interested in learning about BPD thanks!
@amelia @dillion @power @probius @eunoia @cristiana33 @Istandforpeace @verdictendgameover @essenceofhope @halliwellsister @burningember @rumplesteeleskin @pinkfluffyunicorns8706 @joyfulhorse @beYOUtywithin @MissZ @Jace @aidedplacebo @Raynestorm @blithsun94
@InvaderStitch
Very Informational Post. Love the layout. Thank you for writing it. You did a good job indeed. 
@InvaderStitch Thanks for putting this together. I'm sure it will help a lot of people who are either unsure and confused about BPD, or just looking for some information.
Here are my answers to your questions.
1. What kind of supports have you found in your community or online that have been helpful in managing borderline personality disorder?
I have my therapist, my girlfriend/now best friend, and a few other people with BPD who live in my city and we regularly talk on the group we've set up in WhatsApp.
2. BPD is often highly stigmatized by society, why do you think that is, and do you see any steps we could take as a community to change the stigma associated with BPD?
The media portrays those of us with BPD as a group of crazy lunatics who go around causing trouble and leaving destruction in our wake. I think that one way to help rid the world of the stigma of BPD, is to talk openly about it. Like me, I'm not ashamed to admit to anyone that I have BPD. In the first few months, I was terrified and didn't want to tell anyone. But that's changed now. I just don't care anymore. I've noticed that those who I've told, those who didn't know anything about BPD, asked a lot of questions and were pretty supportive. Those who thought I was some crazy person going to come attack them in their sleep, tended to feel better once I actually explained it more. The more of us that do this, the easier it will get over time to get rid of the stigma.
3. What are some things that you wish other people knew about BPD?
That it's nothing to be ashamed of. That just because someone has the disorder, doesn't mean we're not human. We're still people. We just have mental health issues that we need to deal with and work through. We might find it harder to get by in life, and react/experience things differently, but we're strong and resiliant, and willing to work on ourselves. We don't like it when we 'overreact' to things. It's not easy to live this way. It might be frustrating for other people without BPD, but it's frustrating for us as well. We're caught up in the moment, and only realize afterward how strongly we reacted towards something small.
4. How could someone support you when you are struggling with your BPD symptoms? How could a listener on 7cups best support someone with BPD?
Just listen, and validate. Just because someone doesn't understand why we're feeling the way we're feeling, or they think we're overreacting, they need to realize that what's happening inside us, is OUR truth. It doesn't matter if they think we're making something big out of tiny thing, they need to understand that we struggle, and those tiny things are blown up in our minds.
5. What else would you like to know about Borderline Personality Disorder?
Nothing at the moment. Been studying and researching it since I've been diagnosed. There might be something in the future though.
@RayneStorm
Thank you for your insights! Definitely well articulated and thoughtful!
I ‘m so glad you have so much support in your community and have found others who are dealing with BPD. Knowing that were not alone in our struggles can definitely make a huge difference.
I love that you talk openly about BPD. I do too for the very same reason. The only way people are going to learn anything about it is if people share their experiences. Its not something to be ashamed up.
Validation is huge for people with Borderline for sure They dont have to agree or understand, but at least having some validation can mean the world to someone who is struggling.
@InvaderStitch Thank you Stitch. :) It's definitely helpful to know that I'm not alone in my struggles. Exactly- being open is the best way to be. It educates others, and it shows the world that we don't have to hide behind masks in the fear of being seen as 'defective'. Validation is extremely important, and not just for those of us dealing with BPD, but for everyone. The world would be a much better place is we all can just validate one another, instead of judging.
@RayneStorm
awesome post. Thank you for sharing!
@leiselerin You're welcome, and thank you. :)
@InvaderStitch
Thank you very much for the information.
@InvaderStitch
Very informative post Stitch! As someone who doesn't know much about BPD, your postings have taught me a lot, thank you very much!!!
Thank you for this informative post. I appreciate the inclusion of the DSM-5 diagnostic criteria as well as the latest discussions concerning the etiology.
Most importantly, this gives individuals who have either been diagnosed or support someone with the diagnosis clear treatment methods that have proven successful. Anything that reduces the stigma and provides a positive perspective is a tremendous step in the correct direction.
Well done.
@Compassionatelistener108 Agreed.
@InvaderStitch I just found this now and its great! Thanks for having this stitch
Hi I've only just come across this thread- sorry but I have a question. My friend suffers from BPD but I'm unsure to ever talk to her if she looks upset or anything as she if difficult to read and could flip depending on what I say. Is there a right thing to say? I just want to know the best way to help her out sometimes. Thank you
@alicemae01 I think the best advice I could give is to gently approach and ask if they're okay. "You seem a little (emotion). Everything alright?" Let them know you are there should they decide they want to talk.
I find if someone can help me figure out the name of a feeling or just sit and listen and validate my feelings, I am usually a bit more open. Even if what they are feeling seems to make no logical sense, the emotions are very real to the person going through them, and things like, "Don't be upset." Or "That's no way to React," while well intended, tend to be counterproductive.
1. What kind of supports have you found in your community or online that have been helpful in managing borderline personality disorder?
I haven't found much help with accessing DBT classes at local mental health centers in my area due to discrimination. It's frustrating because I know it will help me, but no one wants me there.
2. BPD is often highly stigmatized by society, why do you think that is, and do you see any steps we could take as a community to change the stigma associated with BPD?
I watched a YouTube video the other day that was horrid. It was a guy warning other guys not to date women with BPD because we are just manipulative, cold, calculating and controlling individuals attracted to drama and toxic to any and all relationships. As I forced myself to see it all the way through, it made me think... "Man, is this how people really see us?? Manipulative, cold, controlling drama-queens?!?" Yet, in my experience, that is exactly how we are painted to the media and other professionals.
3. What are some things that you wish other people knew about BPD?
I wish people would know we are STILL PEOPLE.
4. How could someone support you when you are struggling with your BPD symptoms? How could a listener on 7cups best support someone with BPD?
Validation of feelings or helping to identify them non-judgementally helps me huge!
5. What else would you like to know about Borderline Personality Disorder?
How to avoid passing it to kids
@RaynebowUnicorn
Ugh! Im so sorry that youre having a hard time getting the support you need and deserve. It frustrates me to hear that youre being denied services, Im so sorry to hear that.
That sounds like a horrid video, but Ive also seen things like that. Its really unfair. I know sometimes our behaviors can make us seem cold, manipulative and controlling at times, but really all were doing is trying to get our needs met and sometimes thats the only way we know how. I hate that borderline has such a bad reputation in society and the media. Its so frustrating.
I think that it can be easy for people to see us as people and not our symptoms. Hopefully thatll get better with more education.
Validation is often the biggest piece to help people with BPD because we grow up in such invalidating environments. Being able to identify feelings without judging them is definitely huge for a person with BPD.
I think the best way to avoid passing it on to kids is to take care of yourself and learn how to manage your own symptoms because a lot of borderline is learned maladaptive behaviors.
Thank you so much for sharing!
@InvaderStitch My son is in foster care right now and his foster father is teaching him mindfulness and how to identify his emotions through statements like "Wow! You seem a little frustrated that the zipper is stuck. Will you feel relieved if I can help you fix it?"
I know basic emotion labels: Happy, Sad, Angry, Tired, Bored... But I don't know things like what the difference between frustrated and flustered is... So in a way, I am grateful he is getting those coping skills early on, because those are things that I couldn't teach. I am kind of jealous though, because I think, "Man, why can't someone do that with me and then I can better understand what I feel like 90% of the time?!?"
Hopefully, his time away will assist him in finding ways to counter the dysregularity that Borderlines feel, so that he doesn't eventually pick up BPD from me, since I am on my own, with the exception of you awesome folks on 7 Cups, in learning how to deal with my BPD and function better despite having it.
@RaynebowUnicorn
I'm sorry to hear that your son is out of home that must be really difficult, but it's good that you can see some positives, such as him learning skills you might not have been able to teach him yourself.
My siblings and I were taken out of the home when we were younger and it's definitely a rough time. I really hope that you get to be back together soon <3
1. I have 7cups I guess.
2. The media basically portrays people with personality disorders in a negative fashion, to attract attention or get views, etc.
Then there is the misinformation which is prevalent in society. Every person out there who has read one single article about it suddenly has a Ph.D in it and anything you try to make them understand is completely wrong.
Stereotyping and Generalisation also help in that.
To stop it? Increase awareness. Stop...Just stop the blatant hatred of people with personality disorders for being 'weak' or 'insane'. People should try to be more open-minded.
3. Having Borderline Personality Disorder does not mean that I hear voices in my head and/or have multiple personalities like Schizophrenia and Disassociative Identity Disorder.
I am not a psychopath/sociopath. I just...Feel things more than others do. That's it. I am still a human being.
4. Please. Don't say that you understand. For me...It just feels demeaning. You can't possibly know what it's like if you don't have it. Just...Don't.
It's like telling someone with Schizophrenia that you can understand what it's like. You don't. So just don't say that.
You can't possibly understand something if you haven't gone through it. That's only my opinion though.
5. Anything else I would like to know about it? Just...Everything I guess. It's pretty much all a mystery about why people have it, can medication be made especially for it, how to eliminate the cause for having BPD, etc.
@IcarusFalls
My sister has BPD, this helped me alot so I could support her.
@IcarusFalls i have borderline personality disorder too and thank you for this
@gentleComputer3231
I don't know what I'm being thanked for but okay?
Couldnt agree more with media part, peoples "understanding" when i suffer from it and cant even understand at times. The impulsiveness at wanting to feel better on dark days. Heres hoping the stigma dissapaints like has in recent years with bi polar as people gain better knowledge of challenges we face.
@IcarusFalls
Im so glad you have found 7cups! Youre such a valuable member of the community. I hope you realize that!
It is definitely frustating that people think they can understand something from just reading a single article about it. Its definitely a complex disorder that I dont think anyone understands very well. Stereotyping and generalizing are also really bad. I hate that people feel the need to stereotype people who have BPD. I really wish people would just stop, and I agree that awareness would do a lot of good… maybe it would get rid of some of the ignorance around the topic.
Its definitely super frustrating when people get BPD confused with DID and schizophrenia. I think the proposal to change the name to something more fitting would help. I know there was talking about changing the name, but I dont know if it has happened.
It can definitely be demeaning for people to say they understand when they dont. I think empathy is okay, but no one can fully understand the extent of someone elses feelings or emotions.
There is a lot of research about BPD out there, though I dont think anyone really has any answers to these questions. There are theorie about what causes BPD but no one really knows, and maybe with more research theyre find better ways of preventing and treating the disorder. One can hope.