Unwanted and unloved always and forever
No one stays. I have a couple of friends who have proven that wrong, but as far as love goes, no one can handle me. And I'm what you call a, "Quiet Borderline" so to speak. I guess I'm nothing and just not worth it. No one can handle my emotional breakdowns and I guess I can get that. I'm not worth anything anyway. They think, "Just be positive". It's not that freaking EASY! No one cares to see it from my perspective. I'm left alone in my room, cold and crying. Cold and cutting. Cold and miserable. Cold and unwanted. Cold and unloved. I'm too hard to handle. I'm a recipe for emotional disaster and panic attacks. Who'd want me with all of that? Unloved always. Unloved forever.
I'm Samantha Btw. My diagnoses are BPD, BP2, PTSD, Panic Disorder, GAD, OSFED with Atypical Anorexia Nervosa and Purging Disorder and OCD
I want to meet you and be your friend and support.. i may not be good at giving advices but i can listen
Thank you. I'd love to chat sometime :)
I hate Father's Day because I've never really had a dad. My step dad abused me and left me crying in a dark room. I've tried all of my life to impress him and I've just realized I will always be unwanted. It messes with you. Sometimes I prefer the feeling of pain and misery and I just like to drown in my tears at night.
Hi Samantha. I have BP2, OCD and suffer from depressionfor 12 years. I'm also function on borderline levelbut don't have BPD.I have no visible problems with socialisation but I feel lonely and emotionally abandoned almost everytime. I'm an emotional alien even to my dear people. I hear "Oh! It's just your fantasy, what is your real problem?" too often. If you want to talk to me, contact me please.
I understand that. My therapist is understanding, but everybody else expects me to get over things or that it's all in my head. And it makes me feel so devalued.
Do you know what else is in our heads? Memories. Emotions. Wearethe people who we are because of what's in our heads. Some people don't understand that. And that is.
Thank you for being you.
Samantha,
Thank you so much for sharing.
As a BPD/BP2, I can absolutely understand where you're coming from. I'm sorry that you feel unloved - truly. It's hard, but remember that we can get through BPD. We truly can.
Let me know if you ever need to chat.
All my love,
Lee.
I feel this way too. Nobody lovesme, even the one person I thought cared just stopped responding to me while i was having trouble dealing with stuff and I flipped out and said some terrible things i didnt mean and now he hasnt talked to me in over 2 months. I dont want it to be true because he was soimportant to me but I know Ive lost him too.
Some people on facebook will talk me down when im being ridiculous but they arent my friends. They dont care about me and dontlike talking to me. They think they have to help me when im upset but they dontwant to talk to me when Im just lonely and need a friend.
Its so hard when people dont understand that I am sorry when I apologize. Its not easy for me to saysorry, its hard for me to even show my face again when Ivedone something stupid. Im so ashamed by the way I act and if I can work up the courage to apologize it really hurts when they dont want to accept it. Then I do something else stupid to make sure they will never forgive me...
Being misunderstood so much and unloved makes it so much more difficult to deal with things that were already difficult to beging with.
Hey, my name is Shanik. Would you like to talk about how you feel? I am here to listen and be a friend.
