could it get any worse?
so i impulsively chopped my hair off again.
all i ever wanted was my hair long and beautiful again when i was younger.
yet somehow i keep messing it up.
impulsively cutting my hair has been a problem for 5 years
idk why. it’s like :
i get mad at someone- cut
someone made me feel insecure- cut
intense emotions ranging from euphoria to deep depression.
i can’t manage another form of self destruction.
it’s actually ruining my life,
this might not seem like a big deal
but for someone extremely ill, this makes a crack in their mind
@conscientiousLion13
you are not alone when i get stressed or *** off at how my life is going................... hide they scissors .... yes i am one of those who cut my own off often have to have a friend then even the back out etc.........
then i am angry as i can no longer do styles i did or too short for a good pony tail .......... i do not know why I do it..... seldom makes me feel better but when i feel it coming i know sooner or later it will be done.
it is a small thing for many but for those of us that have done it we see the stress and anger of wishing we had NOT just done that .... the good thing is hair grows so i throw myself into fitness to excelerate taht and sooner or later the high from increasing activity makes me forget and forgive myself for another scissor event.
this really helps to know i’m not alone thank you very much
@conscientiousLion13
maybe it is when i feel out of control and things not going the way i want that is a small thing you DO have control over..........
i have known others as well we are not alone .........
Friend I did not know how much you have suffered but suicide prevention lines really help. I am not talking about abusing them and use them as a regular therapy tool; however, if you really feel intense emotions and just cannot shut down the voice telling you there is no hope and to hurt yourself (which I totally get it), just call or text them right away because at least they can keep you safe 😥
There are 2 I have used in my life: one is 741-741 (textline) and another is 988 (call or text). I called the 988 last night due to intense emotions and even though the crisis counselor who picked up the phone did not have the nicest attitude, at least she tried to help and I am still living right now 🫤
Tell me if that helps if you could, because it literally saved my life a lot of times when my BPD symptoms were most intense in college 🙌🏼
@toughTiger6418
@toughTiger6481
@conscientiousLion13
Dear ConscientiousLion,
I hear you. I have experienced something similar in my life and used to pull out my hair when feeling bad for several years (it is a condition called trichotillomania). I feel now comfortable sharing this because I luckily recovered from it.
I know how bad it feels, ruining your own hair and afterwards feeling terrible, not even really knowing why you do what you do. It is a coping mechanism to which you go back to each time when you have any sort of negative emotion (it doesn't have to be stress - sometimes it is just out of pure boredom, which is also an emotion we don't like).
Here are some tips you can consider. At least, this is what helped me; please keep in mind that these are just suggestions based on my experience and that you are free to take or leave any of them.
First, don't make this a big issue in your head. I am not saying that you need to underestimate the hair cutting as a problem, but just take some of its gravity to your life. Instead of saying to yourself "omg I did it again; I ruined my hair; I will never be allright; my life is ruined", you can tell yourself something like this: "this is a little issue I am having, but I look at it separate from other aspects of my life. This DOES NOT impact other aspects of my life - because I am not letting it. I continue doing my best in work/school, relationships, family life, spirituality etc. Secondly, I don't see this as something that will last forever, I will learn to cope in another way. Right now, I am accepting of the fact that I'm having this problem and not denying it, but I am working towards healing and with time, I will get there. Third, this is NOT part of my identity. This is not connected to who I am as a person - it is just a bad habit (just like smoking, drinking aclohol, overeating etc). and there is so much to me than this."
Please remember, nobody is perfect. Almost every person on this planet has some sort of bad habit they use to cope - and this just happens to be yours. Don't see it as anything more than that and with time, support and working on yourself, I am sure that you will have the beautiful, long hair you desire <3 Just please be patient and don't blame yourself. Speak to yourself with kindness, especially when the hair cutting happens! I hope this post helps <3