how do you know it is paranoia or justified thoughts?
hi. im struggling with this question in my head. how can i know if my suspicions are true or just a result of a stupid paranoia, without making anything stupid?
how can i know if someone is really trying to help or get advantage of my state, for example to know informations that could be used against me?
how can i know if i can trust or if im being naive when i do?
how can you distinguish whats paranoia effects and whats real?
thank you all
take care
@chocolate201314
Hi!! :)
I struggle with things like this too, and I find it's super super helpful to reach out to friends/family I can trust to help me work through my situations, people who I know care about me and want the best for me.
If I can't do that, theres always tools you can use, like making a pros/cons list, listing out the facts of the situation, and not judging yourself or anybody else in the situation!
I hope I helped at least a little bit and I hope your problems are resolved <3 <3
@chocolate201314
hey choc -
first of all: things like that are never easy to know, not alone with that. It sounds like you are not sure if you can trust a certain person, if he/she is sincere or just having his own scheme and getting an advantage from you. Somehow like that?
See - looking in other people's heads, or trying to, is never helpful. We simply can't - no one can, some might be better at guessing sometimes, but in the end it's guessing and not helpful. It leaves too many ??? open, cause we just not ARE the other person.
In my experience it works much better, to take it all back to you. And decide, what you are at any rate willing to give and what would not put you into danger. And to look for yourself, where the "borders of insecurity" are, where you are feeling you expose yourself too much and can be harmed. And then state that loud and clear to the other person involved.
Trusting is a very difficult thing with BPD anyway, cause there is normally like 100% no "BasicTrust", that's normal with BPD. But you can always define for yourself how far you CAN go without risk - and where anxiety kicks in. And you are always allowed to tell that to other persons and demand that your borders and insecurities are respected. People who are honest and kind will always - and will always be willing to talk about that with you. Just as a measure of thumb :)
Hope you could find an answer to this one
hugz
M.
I'm dealing with this because my husband wants to go to the east coast without me to visit his family. But when he went there before we were married he cheated on me with his ex girlfriend and went on a secret cruise. So now I don't feel comfortable with him going by himself. And I feel paranoid. I feel justified. But then I just would rather not care. If he's going to do it anyway then for goodness sakes why the heck should I care? He's a jerk that I shouldn't care about anyway. So it's a battle for my worth as far as I can see it. Not a battle of worry for our relationship. @anOileanach
i miss my husband so much in times like these.i feel that no one seems to appreciate me.
