Personality Disorders Community Check-in: May 22nd–May 28th
Hello, PD Support Community!
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💛 How has your week been so far?
💛 What's something that's been going well lately in your life?
If you prefer not to answer these questions, feel free to say hello, ask for a hug, or share anything else that's on your mind. 💛
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@jesusredeemedme2425
Haha, thanks. It's only been a few hours, and I'm pretty slow in responding anyhow most of the time, so no rush. 😀 At least it's out of the NR queue now--thank you for your service. 😊
Hehe. I just like clearing out the queue. ;)
You’re welcome! <3
@QuietMagic
How has your week been so far?
not so good as been a hard week for us. first we had a few falls this week. then was treated badly when at a meeting with community mental health. this was due to us setting boundaries with another member of club house a few weeks ago. she got others mistreating us due to her lying and them not even asking us what happened. as in why we end the friendship with her. we know we did the right thing by ending the friendship with this person. but she seem to think by lying and getting others to mistreat us that we go back to being friends with her. so am feeling hurt, but not allowing it to let her get what she wants that id us going back to being friends with her.
What's something that's been going well lately in your life?
truth is we can not really see anything right now going right in our life.
@stormieandpaws
Sorry about the falls and things at the meeting. 🙁
Is this the kind of situation where it would make sense to try tell other people what happened and correct the misunderstanding that they have? (Or maybe trying talking to her and asking her to stop getting other people involved and telling her that it won't change your decision?)
***
"truth is we can not really see anything right now going right in our life."
Yeah that's understandable 💜
@QuietMagic
thank you we tryed talking to her in past about same things. she likes getting others to take sides. she did this with others not just us. when we was talking she did same to another club member then thought it was funny when other would not talk to the other member. it sad but some who go to club like her they acted like middle schoolers. some might even say grade schoolers. it like if you not be my friend then none of my other friends going to talk to you. we not really get why adults would acted like this either. but sadly it seem to be how some acted. our offline therapist agree with us that she trying to use others to get us to cave in and be her friend again. it hard as we really did like her as a friend but she could not respected our boundaries. this lead her to cling to us. we was told this very unhealthy in a friendship.
but we doing our best to keep boundaries with others, not allowing them to walk all over us. for the most part this has made our life a lot better. but yes when dealing with others who also have mental illnesses it can be hard. but boundaries are a good thing to have in the long run too.
@stormieandpaws
Sorry to hear that you're not the only one she's done that to. 😔 It's unfortunate... if she's trying to get you to become friends again, her doing that just reinforces the motivation you had for dropping the friendship in the first place: "this person doesn't treat me in a respectful/healthy way".
@QuietMagic
thanks yes she trying to get us to be friends with her again or suffer what she doing now by isolating us when we go to club stuff. but yes she very unhealthy and toxic person. she uses others to get what she wants sadly too. so for the most part when she did this to others they become her friend again. but we see that as her being controlling and willing to use whoever she wants too. everyone of the ones we talked to that we see as healthy. has said same things to us that she unhealthy to us mentally. so we sticking to not being her friend as it would be very unhealthy action to be her friend again.
our offline therapist was very upset when we told her the lady who over the mental health clubhouse without even talking to us first told this other girl to talk to us again. we after that called the lady over the mental health club house told her we not be the girl friend no more and why. she goes well you been friends so long it be a shame if you no longer was. our therapist said even that acted of the one over club house was very wrong.
so seem this not the end of this at all
@stormieandpaws
Makes sense--it feels unhealthy to you, and other people who you can trust to differentiate healthy vs. unhealthy are saying the same thing.
Agree that it feels a bit out of line for the lady who oversees the clubhouse to be trying to pressure people into being friends, especially if she hasn't talked it over with them first to understand the situation. 👀 People sometimes disconnect and have good reasons for doing so.
@QuietMagic
we tryed to make it work for 8yrs but even after another time we did not talk to her for a year. she still not get it. we give people many chances too. really do not like breaking up with friends at all. but as one get healthier they learn more about healthy relationships and boundaries also how to use them. seem that some never really do the healing work they seem stuck and unwilling to do any healing work. that were she at also she thinks she know everything about mental health due to she has a degree as a social worker but she never worked as one at all.\
sad but she know the book stuff but does not use it to do healing work she not see a therapist at all now. she told us she know it all and know the coping skills etc our therapist told us one can know everything about something like mental health but never put it into action to do healing work and heal. that were this ex friend is sadly we still care about her and love her but it unhealthy to be her friend
@stormieandpaws
Yeah, it's really easy to learn a little bit about something and then get overconfident or start misapplying it in ways that hurt people. 🙁 I wish her the best--hopefully things change in a way that makes her happier and reduces suffering for those around her.
@QuietMagic
thank we be praying for her as that and she seem to feel not compliant without a man in her life so offend disappointed in life due to that she can not really get that we enjoy being single and feel content too
it hard when you love others who you can not be around due to it unhealthy mentally for you.