DBTuesday: Radical acceptance - a distress tolerance skill
Hey there everyone! For this week (and probably next week) DBTuesday, we're going to discuss acceptance. This skill is part of the distress tolerance part of the DBT skills, meaning this skill is considered useful when dealing with a crisis, either actively of afterwards.
For this week, I'd like us to just think about acceptance, what it means, how to really practice acceptance, how it can be used in a crisis situation and so on, and we'll dig deeper into it next week!
Discussion questions ~
How would you define acceptance?
Is acceptance something you struggle with? What are some ways to work on it?
How do you think acceptance could be used during a crisis?
Thanks for reading, don’t hesitate to share your thoughts about this!
Waves ~
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Hi!
So, I’ve experienced quite a few crisis during my life, and acceptance? It’s key.
Talking about outer-world crisis, truth is? If you’re in denial about the reality of your situation, you will panic when it (finally) hits you, instead of reacting in a more rational way. Panic is not pretty, and it doesn’t feel nice. Denial is also common when dealing with loss- and I’ve found that the harder you deny having lost someone, the emptier you’ll feel.
Grounding is one of those things that helps us with acceptance. So those practicing gratitude. When we make an effort to keep in mind all the things we have to be grateful for, suddenly it doesn’t feel that hard to accept that there are things we’ve lost- or things that are not to our liking.
When it comes to inner-world crisis, (typical “make a mountain out of a molehill” situations,) acceptance is also very important. In the first case, we’ll, I get to, it’s easy to get lost in our own feelings, be it excessive happiness or be it misery. I think, in my case, it’s a form of self indulgence. I tend to bottle things up a lot, and I have quite a few rather big, rather harder-to-ignore problems that I can’t avoid. So sometimes it’s easy to just let go and cry over having burnt the lastest batch of cupcakes than dealing with the three million things I have no clue how to even begin solving. But that’s not really helpful either: be it the cupcakes, or the three million things, none are gonna change because I had a good cry. All I get is a headache and worried frowns from those around me. So my advice: stop, and breathe. Stop, and think. It’s not the end of the world. No matter how you may be feeling right now, there’s nothing ever that’s quite so terrible. Moderation is key- take it from an Epicurean. And remember, there are two types of problems: those you can solve, and those you can do nothing about. If it’s one you can solve, well, get busy. And if it isn’t? Try not to worry about it. Nothing changes just because we worry.
The last and final case- denying who you are. To be frank: I’m queer, I’m trans, I’m a lot of things I’d rather not. But I’ve discovered that unless I accept all that I am right now- I won’t ever have the energy to work towards bettering it. So I just breathe- and accept. It is as it is- and denying myself happiness won’t change it. Being miserable... it’s just not worth it. Nothing is.
So I just realized I didn’t answer the question and instead ranted away? But oh well *shrug*
Well said man 👍🏻
I’ve been giving this some thought since the post game up, and I’ve thought of a few ways of defining acceptance.
The first is the act of believing that something is happening. This being the opposite of denial.
The second, relating to the first, would be the act of allowing yourself to feel. It’s very important to do this, otherwise you bottle it up and it all comes out in the worst moment. For inner-world crisis, it can be the cause of panic.
And the third would be the act of not attempting to change (whatever your accepting.) Letting yourself, others, or the situation just be.
@LinearWaves
1. How would you define acceptance?
The act of consenting to accept something being offered or happening.
2. Is acceptance something you struggle with? What are some ways to work on it?
Sometimes I struggle with it. I guess mindfulness would help to just identify what is happening and accepting it as is.
3. How do you think acceptance could be used during a crisis?
I’m not sure.
@LinearWaves
I want to start out by saying this is a VERY difficult skill! At least for me, and many other people
How would you define acceptance?
Experiencing an event without judging it.
Is acceptance something you struggle with? What are some ways to work on it?
oh yeah. big time. I'm not sure. I think this will be years and year down the line for me, if it ever happens.
How do you think acceptance could be used during a crisis?
I do not think acceptance could be used during a crisis. I would use more like TIPP skills or maybe ACCEPTS skills for a crisis.
1) I think acceptance is when you realise you can't change a situation or circumstance.
2) I think acceptance is something I struggle with because I always worry about what could happen in a situation also I have the tendency to over analyse why things happen too.
3) Acceptance may help ground you when your in crisis.
