TW river of life

Trigger warning   abuse, life, sexual abuse and emotional

River of life

when young we thought things that happened was normal

the feeling of just being safe was never there

but we thought everyone felt this way

we thought everyone got hit and yelled at everyday

we thought everyone dad made mommy scream in their bedroom

we thought everyone brothers touched them were their underwear was

we thought every kid drank booze and everyone parents did too

we thought as everyone got older that their brother and friends used them in a sexual way

we thought all this was normal but deep within we know it was not

we thought after the sexual stuff stopped that everyone felt useless

we thought that every teen thought about endinng their llife

we thought all women married and had kids

we thought all hubbies hurt their wives in bedroom too

as that was all we know from growing up

but then we had others tell us some of this stuff was abuse

we really did not know even what abuse was at all

what we had happening was our normal

but as we learned more and more what was not normal

the voices in our head got louder and louder

who there we said leaving a note out

then we found writing on the notes

names ages likes dislikes

we not alone within this body

more and more memories came flooding in

the chaos in our life we found out was not the norm at all

fighting the things we saw within not believing them at first

but we found within after trying over and over to eend our l@fe

we had a will to keep going but to free self too

we started on a healing journey that we still on

we brought changes to our life too

we can not say it been easy as it been very hard

we still have ups and downs within our life

we still have thoughts at times of e@nding it all

but we keep going we keep making changes in our life

day by day healing from the *** we been through

yes we have physical effects due to all this in our life

we deal with each day as it comes not trying to deal with days to come

each day has it own things and feelings that enough for each day

we on a healing journey this not the end or the beginning it some place in the middle of it

we safe and free to heal now out of the daily abuse

but like a wound warrior we need to heal need the infection from the abuse to heal

some may say we strong and brave to be on this healing journey

but we not see self as strong or even brave at all

we see self as wound and seeking healing from it all