TW the night
Trigger warning abuse and emotions raw
The night
The night come the flooding of darkness
fear within listening for his steps
the door is not there at all
his room is on the other-side of this wall
but he has to walk through our bedroom to go to the bathroom
we listen on high alarm as we know he will come through our room
we have no space really of our own
the steps we hear on the cement that our floors
we pretend we a sleep
maybe he not come near if he thinks we asleep
we tell our self this lie each time
but know the truth nothing will stop him
the steps stop we can hear with breath beside our bed
we know not to scream as we be hurt more and not believed
his cold hands touch us were they should not
we only 4yr old but that not matter to him
he 4yr older some say that he know no better
they say he was only a kid too
but deep down we know he know it was wrong
if he did not know then he would not have did it not around others
if he did not know better he not have threatened us
we all grown now but we still at times listen for his steps
we still can at times feel his hands on us too
why did he hurt us in this way we do not know
lies and lies over and over
he claims we made it up that he never hurt us like that
others believe him they say we crazy
they say a child of 4yr could not remember things like that
but we do and it did happen
it got worst and worst over the years
from 3yr to about 11yr old
he had his friends and others join in
we feel as if we was just a toy to them all
we remember more then we can even voice
the evil that was done to us over and over
then the disbelief and even worst the excuses made for his actions
we feel due to being a girl we did not matter
we was to obey due to he was our elder
listen to your brother do as he tell you rings in our mind
even now that we free from them all
we still within our body at times can feel the coldness of his hands
even worst the coldness of his parts that we can still no say in detail
we keep hearing the statement over and over you to obey the boys
you to do as they say due to your a girl and they over you
finding ones voice saying the truth of what they did
taking the power back from their dirty hands
we be free and safe at last away from all them
@stormieandpaws I felt like I could really see the 4 yo's POV just from this. You have a gift for writing.
@breanac19
I've seen you throughout the forums and I just wanted to say, welcome 🥰
@Amanda84
thank you writing our outlet for thing we can not come right out and say we wrote for a long time
@stormieandpaws
🥺
Four years old 💖
My heart breaks for that four year old.
I cried reading this.
You should never have had to suffer.
And you still have one of the biggest, most beautiful hearts I know.
You are a treasure to this community.
💕💖
@Amanda84
thank you we came to see one can either become bitter and hateful or one can allow the suffering to make them a better person more caring and supportive person we still have flashbacks and body memorizes but we do not allow then to make us bitter
we forgave the abusers but was not for them but for us as unforgiveness is like a torn within ones heart and it make one bitter and hateful
thanks for your kind words and support
@stormieandpaws
A pleasure 💜