Trapped within myself

I stand in a dark room— alone and scared— not moving, barely breathing.

Cold air brushes my skin as the floor grounds me in stillness.

And yet, I feel more alone than I ever have before.

Trapped inside the barrier of my mind, I don’t know how to let go.

Don’t know how to move on.

I barely talk anymore— afraid that if I do, I’ll be left behind, hurt even more than I already am.

Sadness drapes itself over me as I collapse to the floor.

I pull my knees to my chest, bury my face in my arm, and cry.

I cry because I don’t know what else to do.

Because no matter what I try, I’m never enough.

It’s like I don’t matter— like I was just a mistake.

I sit in silence, shivering from the cold, not wishing for happiness, just for something to change.

I could leave, and no one would notice. The world would carry on without me.

No ripples. No whispers.

I’ve lost so much. My trust— shattered so many times I stopped counting.

The walls close in. The air turns heavy. I’m trapped in this place, with no exit, no light.

I don’t even try to fight anymore.

I just give in. Let the pain crush me.

Let the weight of memory bury me in everything I’ll never forget.

Echoes from my past scream my name, reminding me of everything that’s happened— until I can’t take it anymore.

Until it’s the only thing I can hear.

And after a while, I start to believe the lies as if they’re the truth.

Every time someone hurts me or leaves, a part of me disappears.

And no matter how hard I try, I can’t rebuild what’s lost.

So I go silent. Bury my feelings. Let no one in. And I sit in the darkness and cry. 

because what else can I do.