12 Helpful Things To Say To A Depressed Friend, From Mental Health Experts

“Research suggests peer support really can help people with depression, and there are indeed helpful ways you can communicate your care, concern, or feelings to someone who is depressed. However, before you take this step, Jennifer Dragonette, Psy.D., the executive director of Newport Academy in Northern California, recommends that you proceed mindfully.

12 things to say to someone who is depressed:

1. “I care about you, and you matter to me.”

People experiencing depression often experience a sense of hopelessness and pessimism that can lead them to lose sight of how much people care about them. A reminder that they matter to you may be helpful.

2. “Would you like to talk?”

Depression can lead to a strong sense of isolation, and your loved one may start to withdraw. According to Forti, engaging them may help remind them people care and offer hope

3. “Would you like to spend time together?”

If your loved one is up for it, Forti suggests offering to go for a walk, grab a coffee, come over and chat, or whatever they might be interested in. “The point is to make yourself available to them so you can show your support,” she says.

4. “I want to be here for you, but I am not sure how. Can you tell me what you need from me?”

According to GinaMarie Guarino, LMHC, a licensed mental health counselor at Psychpoint, this is something beneficial you can say so as not to assume what the other person needs. You might feel helpless not knowing how you can support your loved one; however, they might be able to provide some kind of guidance regarding small gestures that would make them feel loved.

5. “Would you like help with getting groceries?”

While asking can be a great option, sometimes people experiencing depression may not be able to articulate their needs or how you specifically can help. “Given depression can make everyday tasks seem harder, offering to help with a specific task may be useful and alleviate some of the psychological weight carried.”

6. “I noticed you don’t seem like yourself. Would you like to talk about it?”

Let your loved one know you are observing behavioral changes, and you care enough to talk about it, Forti suggests. Though they may not want to talk about it, they’ll at least know they have a witness in their struggle and that you’re taking the first step of reaching out to them.

7. “We don’t have to talk, but can I sit with you?”

Saying this is a good option if your loved one isn’t open to talking at the moment. Guarino suggests making the gentle offer of simply coming over and sitting in silence. Small gestures such as this can make a world of difference to someone who feels consumed by darkness.

8. “I think you need professional help.”

If it comes to this, let your loved one know you see them struggling and are concerned about their well-being. “Suggesting professional help may feel like permission to seek help, or it may open the door to a discussion about seeking professional help,” says Forti. “Either way it opens the door to opportunities to receive professional help.”

10. “I've seen you go through hard things before, and I know you can again.”

According to Dragonette, telling your loved one struggling with depression that you’ve noticed their strength during past hardships may be uplifting to them. This is another way of letting them know that they’re not alone on their journey.

11. “It’s okay to be human.”

Remind your loved one that all people are susceptible to depression, even the strongest people. “Depression is not something to be ashamed of,” says Forti. “Our culture is one that contributes to fostering depression. In our society people receive regular messages that they are inadequate, struggle with finding social connections and purpose, worry about economic stability and personal safety, and have increasingly long work hours.” These cultural factors put everyone at risk for depression, even the people you least expect to develop it.

12. “I’m going to keep checking in on you.”

People with depression may not feel like socializing or talking–both may require too much energy at the moment. “Avoid pressuring your loved one to do something that depression is making too hard for them,” says Forti. “However, do let them know you won’t give up on them. Do keep reaching out, even when they reject your attempts for help.”

Read the complete article on Mind Body Green

✨Takeaway: If a loved one is suffering from depression, keep in mind that while you cannot be responsible for their wellbeing, the encouraging words you provide them may be helpful.

✨Reflection: Have you ever struggled with knowing how to help a loved one with depression?

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