Stylist: we all have emotional blind spots – here’s how to stop avoiding your emotions

“Despite how big an impact our emotions can have on our mental health, we’re rarely taught how to handle our feelings properly – a fact that leads many of us to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms as a result. One such coping mechanism that many of us aren’t even aware we possess are so-called “emotional blind spots” – emotions we (consciously or subconsciously) avoid feeling or distract ourselves from because we’re afraid of or uncomfortable with them. Here’s how to overwrite this impulse. “

1. Practise mindfulness

“As you breathe, check-in with yourself and try to identify what you’re feeling and label it. If you find your mind buzzes off with plans or worries, bring it back to the breath and the feeling in the pit of your belly or your chest. Try to allow whatever it is you’re feeling.”

2. Keep a blind spot journal

“Every day, spend five minutes jotting down a record of whatever felt like the most difficult or painful emotional experience of the day. Ask yourself questions like: ‘Did I do something to distract from this feeling?’ and ‘What was the feeling and what did I do?’”

3. Ask for 360 feedback

“Choose a handful of people you trust, who know you in different ways. Pick only people who have known you for some time. Ask them for their honest opinion on the emotions you display most and on your personality traits. See if they also have a view on the emotions you seem to avoid. Sometimes, the emotional self that others see gives us a clue as to the “shadow” side that characterizes our blind spots, so those who outwardly appear, for example, extremely organized may feel terrified of feeling out of control.”

4. Try speaking up

“Test out how it feels to speak up about feelings you would normally ignore or brush off. Start with a safe space first, with a friend you trust, and go from there. You don’t need to go into detail, but saying ‘I’m good thanks,’ to a friend when you have had a really hard week is doing yourself and them a disservice.”

5. Observe others

“Seek out a role model who seems to cope well with the emotions you fear most and want to avoid. Study them and try to see what you might learn from their way of managing difficult emotions.”

#Mindfullness #Journaling #Feedback #SpeakUp

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💬 When was the last time you sat back and thought about your emotions?