The Attraction of Imperfection
"We all know people who seem to be good at everything. Sports, music, math—they seem to have the ability and aptitude to do it all. But before we make assumptions about how far their accomplishments can carry them, or how great their lives must be, consider how other people respond to them. There is a big difference between admiration and affection; between awe and acceptance. And there is nothing that assures us that someone’s talent makes them trustworthy. In fact, when it comes to interpersonal attraction, research indicates we might be more inclined to accept the imperfect.
The Attractiveness of Imperfection
Jia Wei Zhang et al. (2020) found that the way we accept others stems from the way we accept ourselves. Studying the link between self-compassion and acceptance, they found that an increasing acceptance of one’s own imperfections increases the acceptance of the imperfections of others, including romantic partners.
One thing we can learn from the research is that imperfection is not necessarily a turnoff; it can actually be something that attracts us through recognizing shared humanity. Tempering impressions through emotion both about ourselves and others will help us make educated, discerning decisions interpersonally about when and under what circumstances to embrace partner imperfection."
*All of us are imperfect no matter how many or how few mistakes we have made. What makes us human is the fact that we are not perfect - and that's okay! Realizing that we are not perfect can allows us to relate to others and become more empathetic. Understanding that we will never be perfect can allows us to be gentler with ourselves and live life with grace and realize that mistakes are okay! I am definitely someone who felt that I was a perfectionist growing up, but it took some time and self-reflection to realize that there is so much more to life than being perfect. Do you feel as though you are a perfectionist? How can you practice being more gentle with yourself?*
#Perfectionism #Imperfection #Empathy
Please find the full article at Psychology Today.
Remember, you are wonderful ❤️
@fruityPond7887
YES!
Especially with my school work.
To practice being gentler, I need to offer myself more empathy<3
@innateJoy9602 I was in the exact same boat as you with my academics and man, it was so hard to work through! I had to imagine myself in this little bubble that was just mine so that I wouldn't compare myself to my roommates and other people who shared the same major as me in college.
@fruityPond7887 I'm very much of a perfectionist. I have recently taken some baby steps to try to appreciate myself and estimate what I do more objectively. I have discovered that being so judgemental to myself is not objective. Trying to avoid being positively biased I became negatively biased. Currently I'm loving myself more and I'm learning to recognize my value. Thank you for this post!
@calmDew1576 Aw I am so happy for you! Learning to love yourself is a huge step and I'm so proud of you! You are so amazing! 👏🙌