The guardian: Letting go: the decluttering obsession moves into the mind

"All through 2020 and 2021’s lockdowns, a book published in 2012 kept being recommended to me. Letting Go by David Hawkins was pretty new age – but its seemingly simple message resonated: I could always let something painful go, not let it get to me, and move on with my life. It may sound like a small, obvious thing, but when we are trained to strive, we can sometimes forget we have that option.

“We hang on to pain. It certainly satisfies our unconscious need for the alleviation of guilt through punishment. We get to feel miserable and rotten,” Hawkins wrote. “The question then arises, ‘But for how long?’”

Hawkins’ book had a ripple effect on my life. I was suddenly a lot more relaxed about things not working out. Instead of being caught up in a spiral of trying to control an outcome, I let go and moved onto the next thing. Sometimes I had to cut my losses, sometimes I felt real grief, some things I tried to let go of proved stubbornly resistant. But I made a start.

In this technique was an echo of Stoic philosophy, including Epictetus’s maxim: “Don’t hope that events will turn out the way you want, welcome events in whichever way they happen. This is the path to peace.”

Melbourne researcher and psychotherapist Dr Richard Whitehead found people who are older tend to let go easier, as do people who have a strong meditation practice.

Letting go is counterintuitive in many ways. We are encouraged and taught from a young age to succeed, to push through, to have goals and let nothing get in the way. Half the battle is fighting your own deeply ingrained notions of how success works.

“I had an expectation of perfectionism and a belief that I had to light up every room. Letting go of this behaviour was about adopting a way of life that is much more sustainable,” he says.

“We’re not smart enough, funny enough, good looking enough, rich enough. We are desperately trying to make up for this – look at the amount of money people spend trying to look better. From a young age we need to tell people we are worthy enough, we can belong.”

There is a technique to letting go, says Ringrose, one that is bolstered through meditation. The other steps he teaches are “getting better at feeling feelings. Letting go is just feeling feelings – it’s allowing the feelings to be felt. It’s a lot easier than you think.”

“People think that letting go hurts too much but it doesn’t,” he says. “It’s the resistance to letting go … that’s the thing that hurts.”

“It’s about feeling really down and low and embracing the bad things as well. They will pass if you let them go.”"

Read the full article here!

Reflection:

How has 'letting go' of certain things that were out of your control helped you currently?

#Detachment #MovingOn #MentalHealth