What's In My Control vs. Out of My Control
"The paradoxical nature of control is that to gain control, you must relinquish the need for it. We all want to feel in control of what happens, but that is an impossibility,” says Monica Berg, spiritual thought leader and author.
“The problem isn’t in the planning and organizing but in how we respond when life breaks our carefully planned days.
Example of things that are out of your control:
- You can’t force people to be cheerful, kind, considerate, or even respectful.
- You can’t control how people feel about you, think about you, or talk about you.
- You aren’t responsible for anyone else’s happiness or disappointment. Their emotional life is beyond your control.
- You can’t control your partner, children, family, friends, or even your pets.
Her go-to list of things to let go of immediately:
- taking things personally
- caring about what others think
- needing to be “perfect”
- trying to be something you’re not
- waiting for the time to be right before pursuing your dreams
“What do these have in common? They are all examples of us trying to be in control of things that are inherently out of our control,” Monica says.
“Surrendering doesn’t mean giving up—it means giving your energy to what’s within your control. It means reacting in ways that support your growth when life unfolds in unexpected ways. Adjusting in a positive way to unexpected events in our lives means being flexible, maintaining a sense of humor, and retaining our certainty that life is happening FOR us, not TO us. Our life is unfolding—just as it should.
“It is within our power to create our lives as we wish them to be. We get to decide how we frame our experiences. We get to decide how we feel, and we control our responses.”
@innateJoy9602
Oh yes, definitely. I think someone got us to sign on the "worry is inherent for you" papers when we were sent to Earth as humans without telling us lol.
Tiniest of things and the human brain is quick to worry, most people do any way, I'm yet to meet someone who doesn't worry about *anything*. 😮
Some people manage it better, Some people mask it better. :P
I loved the examples/ instances mentioned in this article, separating what's in our control and what isn't is super helpful in getting to the "managing" worry part, because the "isn't in control" part usually makes one feel more clouded and affects one's ability to even try focusing on the "in control" things, I feel.
It's okay to worry, but we should try to better assess what requires us to worry and what is just space-consuming.
Thanks for sharing, Joy!💜
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
"Space-consuming" is such a good way to put it!
We all worry. It's inevitable, unfortunately.
Learning how to manage it better and differentiating between the space-consuming can make things a bit easier on us💜
@innateJoy9602 I worry about - everything. Literally everything 😅 on some level I realize its pointless to worry about things I have no control over but it worms it's way in. I worry about what I say and while I can't control how someone perceives my words - that worry reminds me to be careful with what I say but it also leads me to be quiet. I try not to take things personally even if its aimed towards me because there could be many other things going on and I was just a convenient target - but its hard sometimes. I do worry too much about what others think - All though some people tell me what they think of me - which adds to the worry because what if they're right? What if I am how they see me and I just haven't figured it out yet?
@mytwistedsoul
I am actually the same way. I tend to be an over analyzer/overthinker. So, I completely relate to you on this. Sometimes it can be hard to control those thoughts. As you said, they tend to worm their way in uninvited. Hopefully, we can both learn to manage these thoughts healthier<3💜
@innateJoy9602 I hope so too because it just adds stress 😕
“Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Amen!
@InternalAcceptance there’s so many great mantras and quotes in this post.
@LovingPeacefulHeart
Amen!! Appreciate it💜
