One thing I always find really challenging during the holidays is...[share with the community]
One thing I always find really challenging during the holidays is...[share with the community]
is my family fighting, and missing loved ones.
Enjoying family time when all I crave is alone time. Travelling to see family, especially since I have young cousins, means that I am surrounded by people 24/7, the bathroom being my only refuge. Travel makes me tired enough, let alone being with a huge group of people who want to talk to me (but I'm not very close with, so talking takes lots of social effort) and who seem to genuinely enjoy constantly being surrounded by one another.
...my mother.
That's what I find challenging during the holidays. I'm an only child and she smothers and only wants to spend time with me. She doesn't like interacting with other people, it's intimidating for her, so she puts all this pressure on me to be her friend and her daughter. That's too much. Plus, she's very conservative and I'm more liberal, and I don't mean politically, I mean in general - so it's very difficult for me to have a conversation with her without it turning into a fight or her trying to "teach me a lesson." i.e. drinking alcohol, she hates it and thinks it's a gateway to dia drugs, and I am totally fine with drinking alcohol.
She is very reserved and doesn't work, she is a stay at home mom - but an empty nester. I moved out and she has no desire to go back to work. To put it in perspective, I'm 28 years old.
She causes a lot of stress and anxiety for me. I've given her every advice I can think of but she rejects it. I don't know what to do anymore.
@BlanquitaGirl I think you may have to find a way to set boundaries, as hard as it could be. Maybe try and speak with someone who might be able to help you with this!
@BlanquitaGirl It was almost as you were describing my life through your observations. At least I know that I am unalone. However, I feel being the "only child" is a hassle in it's own. It is more stressful than having siblings, I feel.
Thinking when I'll finally be able celebrate this season with a partner.
I find staying positive in such a stressful time as Christmas, but I know not to give up.
Being away from my family...I live 3,000 miles away from everyone and spend holidays with only my husband and kids and a few friends. I get very depressed and nostalgic during these times. I am very lucky but I miss my parents and grandparents so much I could cry at any time.
I have a hard time finding positivity. I'd rather be high or drunk to sleep. But then I have to wake up and go work so I can be a mom.
Not being able to see my Dad's side of the family because I am so far away from them. Living in the Southern US, with them on the Northern East Coast, makes it expensive and time consuming to plan a trip. I'm waiting for the day I can afford to go up there and spend a holiday or two with them!
@safeandsoundta
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@Jenjenchik Thank you so much for the encouragement! I have hope that I will be able to see them again. My dad's side of the family is pretty big, so I don't expect them to pack things up and visit me every holiday season.
Not having my mom here anymore to make holidays special
All my family gathers in my grandmas small house for thanksgiving and christmas eve, it stresses me out so bad for some reason. I feel as everyones out to get me, everyone yells at me and i want to go in a corner and die. I wish sometimes the anxiety and depression and my adhd would go away so i could be normal.
