One thing I always find really challenging during the holidays is...[share with the community]
One thing I always find really challenging during the holidays is...[share with the community]
I can't wear anything nice. Because of my self harm scars :(
I never have enough money for the holidays. Fuck dat.
My so called family. I havent felt lived or welcomed in close ti 25 years. So basically since I was 10. And this year us even worse bc I have finally given up on trying to love my mother. Everything and everyone has conspired against me and im just done
Being around the people who saw how greatly I was suffering but remained silent. The people who put me through so much yet snapped about how ungrateful I was. The people who gaslighted me until I broke into many a pieces and then put me back together to what they saw fit. The people who were angry when I admitted my suicidal thoughts and screamed at me for leaving proof on my arms. The people who tried to buy my love. The people who forcibly pushed themselves upon me. The people who whipped me for not being fast enough, good enough, not enough, always never enough. The people who called me fat yet assaulted me when I refused to eat. The people who abandoned me after they saw what they had done to me but it was always my fault, always, always, always. The people who I have to call 'family'.
@spacetears Your experience spoke to me. The words flows like a poem. Do you write? (Btw, sorry you have to go through this)
Watching others having fun with their families.. I have noone, I live alone, no friends, no caring family.. Just me, my plush and my imaginary friends... It always just makes me wanna cry.
And I'm not selfish or anything.. My problem is not that they're well, my problem is that I'm not, and I'm lonely.
...not falling completely off my diet.
Being social.
Being alone is very challenging for me. So challenging that I don't go any place invited because I want to have a partner to sit next to me.
its difficult to see people who are blessed with joy. And then see the ones who struggle so badly during holiday time:(
@Thesurrenderexp
Someone recommended to me a while ago that finding company comes much easier when being happy for others (easier said than done and takes practice). I think after I'd been trying it for a while I felt more like my eyes were open to potential love than cringing away from the whole idea when I saw it in others...I do seem to be alone less overall since I started trying that.
I'm introverted and dislike attending most things alone but I think I'd still be alone if I avoided going anywhere alone entirely. I hope it becomes easier for you and you find more people to be around. <3
Staying positive and not being depressed or lonely. It's going to be especially hard this year...
@Wayfinder94
hello, i'm sorry to hear that you think it's going to be tough for you! though i may not know what that thing is, i wish you all the best and hope there will be ways to ease your loneliness. however, if you'd like, i found this post on 7cups [ it can be found here ] that may help? all the best :)
@windflowers Thank you!! That helped out. I got to smile for a bit 😊 I greatly appreciate it!
It's been a couple years since my dad died but it can be challenging sometimes to still feel excited about the holidays. I'm kind of making new traditions that still include his memory, which helps.
@starrySunshine87
hey, i'm so sorry for your loss. i'm glad to hear you're coping though! another thing that may help is that when your father was still around, he'd mostly have liked to see you excited, correct? perhaps that would comfort you a litlte? if it doesn't, i'm really sorry. i hope the holidays go well for you!
@windflowers aw thank you for the nice comment! That is something I think about when I get down and it does help. 