[TW] just stop mentioning them
Please don't remind me of them anymore. With my eyes closed, those scenes occasionally flash before me without being noticed, stirring up panic that makes my heart tighten, and I hasten to push them away, inhaling abruptly, my eyelids springing upwards. How can they jump into my mind? The fragments of those memories bang on the smooth road paved by thoughts, creating pits on it, and splashing dust and shards pounce on me. Don't mention them anymore. Don't talk about them anymore. Why must the putrid rotten past be rummaged out and spread on the ground of today again and again, cleaned up by me every time? Why must I be forced to the corner covered with thorns, whose hideous spikes pierce through my breath and threaten toward my face? The sudden falling objects make me try to dodge, but I bump heavily against the wall behind me, and have no choice but to curl into myself with my hands protecting my head. The compelled conversation about those things is a cruel cage, where I am trapped, endeavoring to struggle, only to get meaningless pain in return, watching basins of noxious dirty water being poured to me, which then bites my like venomous bugs.
@Nightfrost wow, you used some very powerful words and imagery here. I hope that you can find healthy ways to deal with the things in your past, even if you don't want to mention or talk about them with anyone.
@purplelady568
Although I don't want to talk about it, I am often forced to do so, which really annoys me. I can deal with it by myself quietly, and I hate it when delibrately opening those wounds influences that process. I am tired of it.
That is very well written and intense, these disturbances sound very difficult to deal with, but I know from experience that these things do get easier with practice, and I hope you will continue to remember to breath when it’s overwhelming! Do you write poetry? I ask because this read almost like a poem and hope this kind of release helps you! We are here for you!
@ThadSterling
I want to get out of the situation where there is often someone who push me to talk about my unpleasant past in the way of criticism. I never feel it a appropriate way to persuade me to be good, for it is too annoying and unbearable. I don't know how to write a poem though. I just think analogy is a good way to convey my feelings vividly and I think it can make my writing a little less disturbing than expressing what I feel directly.
@Nightfrost
Stick with your writing because you have such a natural talent!
Sending strength hope and blessings, Day
