“First Love”

I don't know where to start....or where to finish. In this society, I didn't even realize when I forgot to live my childhood, until I found myself standing at the threshold of teenage life and adult life. Writing this might make me emotional and I might cry.

I used to think I was delusional, I used to think...the love that I always dream of, the way that I always dream to love someone...it's unreal, baseless, impossible.

Being a woman, I now see myself as a part of the divine, and I don't know how to reach the depth of my feelings. When I first fell in love with him, I felt the same. I don't know if our journey ends here or not. But anyway...nothing can change the fact that I loved him truly, and he made me feel safe, loved, less lonely. I grew up with him, waited for him, and when he came back, I felt that things will change.

But I didn't want it to. He made me the person I am today. And when he was away from me, we both passed our lives alone, we learnt. I don't know if I ever will be able to think of him as my friend.

But I guess, this marks the official closure of our chapter together. He learnt to love himself, and I did the same. I learnt who I am, why I am, and what I will be.

I can't stop loving him; he's a part of me, of my life. And this journey, will not end until I thank him and hand over the countless letters I wrote to him.

Even when I'm scared about my future, I'm thinking of him, of us; and I guess, that's how our love will last forever.