failure

how can i keep going on with all that is happening in life why does it always come down to me having to suffer the most. life is not supposed to be of so much hurt. They say when you talk about things it helps give a piece of mind so that you can be at peace with yourself. i feel like such a failure i let someone in my life and not only did they tell me all that my heart and soul wanted to hear but also made me feel like i was the most important person in life.. That person took my soul and joined the devil and watched me burn so badly that i do not even see me being human anymore. i can say i hate life but that will not help me cope with all that i got going on. I use to think that love was the best feeling ever but i now know at this moment i have not felt it and never had anyone tell me that i love you. i remember holding my first baby and him dying in my arms hours after being born and the one person i needed the most no where to be found at all.  I cant say that it is safe to say that i enjoy being a human cause i love being a human i love being a zombie it makes me feel so much better cause i cant be picked on because guess what i feel so much more powerful than ever.