Quitting because of loneliness

@ZeninMaki

You don't have to apologise at all.

I'm glad you opened up.

That takes strength.

And I hope you find a way to start doing what you love again 🤗🩵

@ZeninMaki 

you don’t have to apologise, you matter to us 

hope you find a new journey and head beyond !  so proud of you for being who you are :). 🫶🏼

@ZeninMaki Hi there, thank you for sharing this <3 I echo what Amanda84 said, there's no need to apologize! I'm sorry to hear you're feeling lonely and isolated and how that's impacting your ability to enjoy something that used to be a positive outlet for you! If you'd want, you could always message me some of your writing, I would love to read it, chat and share thoughts or ideas with you :) 

@ZeninMaki Helloooo! 👋 Just as everyone else said you are part of this community and deserve to be listened to, so don't feel bad about something as silly like the length of a post ^^ 

I'll just say to you now, this is absolutely so valid and relatable. At parts even a little too relatable lol. I have always been an artist, starting from a really young age. I too, have had a handful of middle school and high school friends who didn't care or gaf about my art or ideas. It didn't really hurt but it always invoked a sense of loneliness and almost beat the artist out of me, feeling like nothing I did was interesting enough for them to care. I struggle with comparing the quality, pace, and frequency of my work to others. I also struggle to even create art if it isn't FOR someone else or if I'm not sharing/getting feedback on it. I literally haven't created a piece I am truly proud of in YEARS. I too have had several month of free time on my hands due to unemployment 😓. I've never had an injury like yours before, that really sucks but I'm so impressed and honestly really proud of you for dealing with it. I do however, struggle with mental blockages that keep me from even wanting to create. It really sucks. But I will say, if it's something you've been doing for that long, it's not a hobby anymore, it's a part of you and it likely won't ever leave. I too, can feel an intense amount of guilt for not making art because I have always defined myself as an artist (I was even planning on going to college for it and took a horde of art electives in highschool lol), so NOT actively creating/making art, ties directly with my self worth and identity. But if it's any consolation, it's all bs lol. Our culture has put such pressure on action when you existing is simply enough. I don't believe that you'll ever actually "quit" if you were to decide to now. There will always be more time to create and just because you are feeling like this now doesn't mean that's how life is and always will be. The human mind isn't made to just create like a machine, You don't have to feel guilty about not writing for a long period of time, you can't force creativity. If you actually like writing, it will never leave. Sure, you'll be rusty after a while. I sure am. You might loose skills. But you can't focus on all the bad aspects. Plus, you are at a different age, different mindset, different perspective with different tools. You are in a different place than you were, you said it yourself, there are a lot of different factors this time around! Give. Yourself. Some. Grace. Don't listen to all of those silly thoughts. Live slow, and if you're really scared of losing this hobby, try finding a different reason for creating (something other than "for yourself"). Spite. Activism. Idk, go nuts. Don't expect too much from yourself and set achievable goals. Be cringe. Be authentic (even if it's bad!!!! Don't you dare discard bad work!!!) . Whether you realize it or not, you are under a lot of pressure, and that pressure grows more with age. It's best you stop giving in to it now. Another tip- find work that you admire and take from that, it's not copying, it's inspiration. Writing is supposed to be fun, there is just a part of us that slowly finds ways to make creativity less fun for ourselves. The best writing I personally ever did was a literal fanfic! Looking back on it now, it was sooo cringe, but I was having a lot of fun. As we grow, we just become more aware of all of the flaws in our work because we have endless access to other people's work. Which can really dampen the vibe lol. 

I hope this isn't too rambly and helps at least a little bit. Just know that I am in the same sort of place as you and you are beating yourself up way too much. I know its frustrating and even kinda scary to try new things and let yourself be vulnerable in your work. At the end of the day, you have to trust that creativity is not a well that runs dry; it is an ocean that you have access to. You just have to find a way to fight your own blockages and fight tooth and nail to find what inspires you. You are so valid, and you have a lot of people rooting for you (including myself!). I hope this helped in some sort of way, even if it's knowing you're not alone. 🫶

@ZeninMaki

Hello there! I m so proud of you for still trying despite everything that you went through! I want to let you know that I am open for talking about writing if you want because I love writing as well! Also if you ever need someone to talk to text me as I m a listener