(fan work of haikyuu) Diary for a Year

I wrote this for the New Year.

Kiryuu had the habit of keeping a diary, and he insisted on adding a new entry every day, whether meaningful or trivial, literally everything he thought worth documenting. He used a notebook, which consisted of loose-leaf paper, for his diary, convenient for him to add or remove pieces of paper.

During closed training, once after a day’s volleyball practice, when Kiryuu was writing an entry for that day, one of his teammates, XA, saw and asked, “a diary? Would you mind my having a look at it? Just out of curiosity.”

XB, also a player on Azuma Pharmacy Green Rockets, poked his head into the room, frowning a little, “Kiryuu’s diary? I’m not a child, so I’m not interested in another person’s diary.” XA glared at his teammate, XB, about to say something to retaliate, but heard Kiryuu’s words. Kiryuu tilted his head up to look at XA, “I won’t mind, but I must finish this one first.”

XA found Kiryuu’s ballpoint pen start to slide on the paper, and then walked away to his own bed, put on his earphone and settled to watch record videos of their practice match today. At least, XA knew it was inappropriate to interrupt Kiryuu’s train of thought when he was writing his diary.

After finishing today’s entry, Kiryuu stretched up to his feet, turned back to spot XA concentrating on videos, so used his phone to sent XA a message to tell him it was OK to read the diary. XA clicked on the notification after watching the current one, and thanked Kiryuu in response to his message.

“No wonder I think you’re becoming more and more observant and retentive. How vivid details you remember and document, as if the scenes were played as videos in front of me.” XA couldn’t help applauding Kiryuu’s writings. Kiryuu wrote mainly about volleyball practice, with especially abundant description for the most wonderful and notable parts, which Kiryuu loved best. He liked writing about how he smashed the ball so hard that the blocks could easily be broken through, while he even preferred every smart and brilliant plan and strategy used on the court.

Besides, Kiryuu’s diary also included something outside the court, ranging from as major as celebration meals after triumph and gatherings of Mujinazaka High to as minor as witty jokes told by his teammates and nice snacks shared among his team. Plus, unpleasant things were also contained, such as losing games, the coach’s criticism, injuries, power failure and heavy rain.

Although having experienced many of what was written in the diary, XA found it interesting to see how they were in Kiryuu’s eyes. Kiryuu wrote careful reflections on those things, some of which were obviously out of deep thinking, and quoted opinions he thought plausible and incisive from people around him, mostly his coach and teammates. XA could even say he saw the gradual process of how Kiryuu was polishing and refining himself, building up both physically and mentally, although Kiryuu had already been very strong, talented and skillful in volleyball.

Kiryuu spotted XB looking in their direction with suppressed silent curiosity shimmering in his eyes. Aware of Kiryuu’s sight, XB lowered his gaze to his laptop. Kiryuu chose to pretend to be oblivious of XB’s expression instead of pointing it out. It seemed that XB was trying not to breach his own words that he wasn’t interested in another person’s diary.

XA gave the notebook back to Kiryuu after skimming through the contents. “Thank you, Kiryuu. How fantastic your diary is.” XA praised Kiryuu, thinking it great to keep a diary, though he didn’t think he could persist in writing an entry everyday as Kiryuu did. Kiryuu replied with a mild smile, “the really fantastic things aren’t the writings themselves, but all the memories they bear, and I am only truthfully documenting these at length.”

XA walked away before Kiryuu sent a message to XB. “It’s OK if you really want to have a look.” XB stole a glimpse at XA to check if being watched by him. Without XA’s sight on him, XB crept out of his bed and walked to Kiryuu. XA was about to taunt XB when noticing XB holding Kiryuu’s notebook in his hand, but stopped by Kiryuu when the latter lightly shook his head.

XB was immediately absorbed by Kiryuu’s diary, but since there was too much, accumulated for a whole year, he browsed through most and perused a little he felt particularly wonderful. He was surprised by how elaborate and alive the details seemed, and the process of reading was like reliving the stories in his mind.

When handing the notebook back, XB thanked Kiryuu for allowing him to read the diary, and added, “I wonder if you started keeping your diary at the beginning of this year.” He heard XA’s mutters leaking through his sneer, “even more interested?” XB glanced at XA without any verbal response.

“No, but my earlier diary is lost.” Kiryuu was startled by the words leaping out of himself, and then quickly calmed down, but there were still thumps of his heart sounding in his ears. At least, he didn’t say anything worse.

“Pardon?” XB was too astonished to believe his ears. Kiryuu seemed to place much importance on his diary, thus very likely to cherish and preserve it cautiously, so how could he ever let it get lost?

Kiryuu tried to prevaricate, “it was lost just by accident. You know, something bad can happen unexpectedly.” His fingers clasping on the hard cover of the notebook were slightly trembling, dim, light and translucent gloom drifting out of his eyes.

XB chose not to discommode Kiryuu with further inquiries, but said, “hopefully this one can remain. It’s so good that shouldn’t be lost. And I guess you’re going to add the small episode of our having a look at your diary?”

Kiryuu nodded and began to write. He knew clearly what fate was waiting for his diary of this year, the same as that waiting for his diary of the last year. He determined on its fate completely by himself, for something totally illusory.

How time flew. It was the last day of the year. Kiryuu sat in the balcony of the apartment he resided in, with his notebook in his hand and a metal cylinder empty pot with a lid in front of him. He put the lid on the floor, and took the first piece of loose-leaf paper off his notebook. He sighed at the first page he wrote on the first day of this year, and ignited the paper, seeing the flame stretching, shaking and licking it. He threw the burning paper into the pot, “look, Michiru, Mujinazaka volleyball club held a get-together for New Year’s Day. How exciting.” Then he threw a second piece of paper to the flame.

…

“I revisited Mujinazaka High when the campus was adorned with light pink cherry blossoms, growing luxuriantly and attractively. Why not go with me the next time?”

…

“My team celebrated my birthday together and we had much fun. Our former teammates of Mujinazaka also had gifts delivered to me. What would you have given me if you’d been able to?”

…

“There was a sudden power failure in the gym during our practice, and we listened to a very thrilling and scary horror story by our captain.”

…

“We had a match with DESEO Hornets, whose setter left us a quite deep impression because of his clever tactics. I was in high spirits and performed well. You shouldn’t have missed that match. We won finally and had a great celebration party.”

…

“Our coach came up with a new and effective strategy, with which we caught up with our opponent team and even got the edge over them.”

…

“Although I only wrote about volleyball practice and the terribly heavy rain that day, I still remembered it was the anniversary of your becoming my boyfriend. I couldn’t forget you, but it was lonely to celebrate it by myself.”

…

“My teammate shared snacks, which were local specialties of his hometown, with us. If only I could have bought some online for you, maybe not so authentic though.”

…

“It was your birthday, so we said happy birthday to you in the online group of Mujinazaka volleyball club, though knowing that you wouldn’t reply.”

…

“Two of my teammates had a look at my diary and praised my writings. I nearly disclosed the secret between us two, but luckily I didn’t.”

…

Kiryuu sent the last piece of loose-leaf paper into the blaze, watching the bright fire engulfing the paper. The fire was flaring and dancing in the pot against the freezing chill of winter late night, wafting warmth to Kiryuu’s hands and then his face when he leaned a little over. 

“My forever beloved Usuri Michiru, I tried to include as little about you as possible in my diary, and I didn’t talk about you with my teammates. I am trying to let go of my nostalgia for you, which is still lingering in me and sometimes can gnaw at me. I remember the day you left was the last day of that year, and if you had remained a few more hours, we would have witnessed the coming of the year after it. What a pity. I can recall the last time I sat here, burning my diary and talking to you. How similar, with different contents in the diary and the same hard cover of the notebook. Perhaps in the future, I will no longer need this rite to communicate with the illusory you, but the very time is still far away.”

Kiryuu put the lid on the pot, and there was sparkling light coming out from small holes carved on the lateral area of the pot. The fire wouldn’t blaze forever. The vivacity and astuteness went out as the carrier withered and waned.

It occurred to him that there would be a reunion meal with his former teammates in Mujinazaka volleyball club, like the first day of this year. Kiryuu was never accustomed to Usuri’s absence during the reunion meal.

Kiryuu looked at the lonely hard cover of his notebook, thinking it was time to add new pieces of loose-leaf paper for documenting things happening in the new year. When he stood up and walked to get paper, he heard sounds of a barrage of fireworks. He checked his phone to see it was January 1st. Kiryuu trotted back to the balcony, watching fireworks going off in a splendid cascade of various colors, which looked more gorgeous with the dark night sky as their background. He couldn’t help waving to the air in front of him. “Happy New Year, my deeply beloved Michiru.”