(fan work of haikyuu) Three Times
During the reunion meal of Mujinazaka, when the former teammates finished most of the food on the table, Kiryuu Wakatsu suddenly said, “I wonder where Michiru is. I haven’t seen him for a long time.” A confused and sentimental gaze was shot to him from each of the others at the table.
After hesitation, Hondo cracked the embarrassment by a white lie. “Maybe he just wants to be left alone so we’d better not bother him.”
Mami blinked away his sentiment and asked, “Do you still remember the last time you met him?” Unnan instantly cast him a glare, “Shut up if you aren’t sure about what to say.” Obviously all of them knew Usuri would no longer came to their reunion meal.
Kiryuu choked at Mami’s words and regretted mentioning Usuri. He had never thought himself had the right to talk about Usuri Michiru since they met the last time. Kiryuu wanted to apologize for his slip of the tongue, but cringed a little at the others’ small smiles of understanding and comfort. Why did he say that?
Kiryuu did remember. Usuri struggled to reach out and lightly held Kiryuu’s finger in his feeble thin hand, his big eyes staring into those of the latter. “Wakatsu-san, I have affection towards you, and I hope to give all of it to you. I wish you could accept my affection.” Usuri’s voice sounded soft and frail. He then added, “I wouldn’t mind at all even if you lied.”
Kiryuu sighed when seeing Usuri forcing a weak smile while saying those words. He didn’t think his underclassman had to wear that artificial expression when possibly broken inside. Although Usuri’s peers remarked that he had a bad personality, he was always nice and true to Kiryuu. He was about to say yes but he couldn’t stand lying to Usuri, so he said, “I’m sorry.” He deflected his gaze a little to avert Usuri’s.
With that, Usuri started to chuckle at a low voice, and then replied, “but I feel it irresponsible to accept someone’s confession if I don’t love them back.” Kiryuu caught a bit of dizziness from Usuri’s words, which reminded him of the underclassman’s first confession when Usuri saw him off at the school gate after the graduation ceremony.
Kiryuu had always known Usuri’s faith in him and his spikes although high expectation could make him anxious, but he had never thought Usuri would confess to him before the first time. Kiryuu refused at that time, using the statement Usuri mentioned this time. He was surprised to hear the underclassman repeated it so exact.
No wonder Usuri couldn’t forget the statement. He had confessed to Kiryuu three times and this time was the third one. Kiryuu used the same reason to refuse him the last two times. When Kiryuu came to see him when Usuri attended the graduation ceremony, and Usuri confessed to him after the crowds dispersed, which was the second time. At that time, Usuri even questioned if it was because he wasn’t a good captain who was able to live up to his expectation and win the tournament and carry their Mi-chan sensei off the court on their shoulders with his teammates.
This was the last time. Usuri narrowed his eyes as shades of red rimmed them. He let go of Kiryuu’s finger and his arm dropped to hang beside the bed. Tears spilt from his eyes and ran down his pale cheeks. “You don’t have to feel irresponsible because I don’t have much time left for you and for myself.”
The flashback sent a shiver down Kiryuu’s spine. “Sorry for a slip of the tongue.” Kiryuu pulled the corners of his mouth into a smile when apologizing to others at the table. He said this because he had no better alternative. It was at least better than frankly saying that he dreamt of the his past in high school with Usuri recently, and that he wished he could see Usuri beaming at him again. If only Usuri could live to the possible fourth time. If only Kiryuu could have a fourth chance. Neither “if” would come true.
