(fan work of haikyuu) Winter Solstice

I planned to post it on winter solstice, but a day later. Not sure but maybe a little triggering? But dumpling for winter solstice does seem a cozy topic.

Kiryuu checked his phone after the practice today. It was winter solstice, with clear sky and brisk freezing breeze, and snow accumulated on almost every flat surface outside. After Usuri moved out to live by himself, on every winter solstice, as long as they had enough free time, he always invited Kiryuu to eat dumplings in the apartment he rented. Kiryuu did think of leaving for there earlier to make dumplings with Usuri, but he was never able to do so owing to his tight schedule of volleyball practice.

Kiryuu wished that he could spend more time with his boyfriend, Usuri, but they weren’t high school students in the same school as they had been, so they never missed any opportunity to get together and catch up for a while. Winter solstice was one of those days for them to enjoy each other’s company. Kiryuu remembered the cozy apartment filled with illumination of bright light. Usuri prepared two kinds of dumplings, one for Kiryuu, with oyster enveloped inside, placed in a larger bowl for Kiryuu had a bigger appetite, while the other one for himself, with minced fish wrapped inside, put in a smaller bowl. Wisps of warm mist were wafting up from the bowls and dissipating in the air. The pleasant smell of the dumplings pervaded the room, piquing their urge to satisfy themselves with the delicacies. They sat across from each other, eating and chatting. The nice taste permeated Kiryuu’s mouth and touched his palates gently. Months’ hard work deflated Usuri’s adorably chubby cheeks a little, in contrast with which his big round eyes seemed even bigger, and his slim stature also became even thinner in a somewhat unhealthy way. Light was flowing in Usuri’s lively glossy eyes, and happiness was playing at the corner of his lips.

Kiryuu couldn’t help smiling at the thought of meeting Usuri again this winter solstice. He could imagine Usuri beamed at him, greeted him with pleasure spilling out, opened the door, and intertwined his hand with Kiryuu’s when they went in. By accident, his romantic relationship with Usuri was made public. He didn’t understand why there were many people who were prone to judge it maliciously and speak ill of it. It was Kiryuu and Usuri’s relationship, so why didn’t those people mind their own business instead of that of someone that had nothing to do with them? Anyway, he managed to distract himself from their inexplicable venom by devoting more time and effort into volleyball practice, endeavoring to refine his skills and enhance his game sense. Although he still couldn’t completely get rid of his upset feeling, he seemed to alleviate it to the point that Usuri didn’t ask him about it and he never felt it wrong to maintain and continue their romantic relationship. Usuri was thankful for the privilege to be Kiryuu’s boyfriend, while Kiryuu held the same gratitude towards Usuri. He had been confessed to by others, but none of their love could outweigh Usuri’s, which was packed with a great mass of unconditional faith. Kiryuu thought that Usuri wasn’t someone to be bothered much by others’ negative judgments, especially when these were obviously implausible.

Kiryuu was shocked that the message he received said, “Wakatsu-san, I am sorry for being unable to spend winter solstice with you, and don’t come to the apartment I rent these days. I will explain it later so be sure to check your email box.” His stomach started to churn when his instinct told himself that something unexpected and undesirable may have happened, which Usuri hesitated to tell him. Therefore, despite of Usuri’s preclusion, he headed for where Usuri lived to visit him, only to see warning tapes around the lawn beside the building where Usuri rented the apartment. Kiryuu asked a person, who he knew lived in the same building with Usuri, about what was going on here.

Someone discovered an injured man lying still on the lawn, then called the police and the ambulance in terror without stepping any nearer. The man lying there was Usuri Michiru, who had already been dead for a while. At present, some police officers were scouring the very lawn, and others were scouring where the apartment he had rented, and it seemed that the corpse had been transported away for further analysis.

Kiryuu thanked that person for updating. Suddenly, his phone reminded him of a new email. It was a scheduled email from Usuri, whose title said, “you are here to visit me anyway, aren’t you?” With a gust of chill dashing into him, Kiryuu felt a shiver running down his spine. He lifted his trembling hand to click on the email. Light and cold solids started to fall from the sky and melt into water droplets on his skin exposed to it, prompting him to find eaves to protect himself from the cold precipitation of ice crystal. Wiping away water on the screen, removing humidity at the edges of his eyes, Kiryuu laid his eyes on the email to read Usuri’s last words for him. It only contained a picture of a piece of paper with Usuri’s familiar handwriting on it.

“Wakatsu-san, I wrote this by hand for my handwriting is something with my personal feature. Let me guess, you are reading this email in some place near the apartment I lived in, because you insist in coming here even when you aren’t oblivious to what I said in my earlier message. I think I am right, based on my knowledge of you. Maybe you have enough information to conjecture the cause of my death. My hint is that I could predict my death and wrote this unhurriedly. I have already noticed that you are bothered by those malicious comments although you try to pretend to be imperturbable. Certainly I never agree with them, but I don’t want to be an obstacle in the way of your career, and I don’t want our romantic relationship to have a negative impact on you. I know you would surely refuse if I suggested breaking up. I am willing to do anything for you, even at the expense of myself if necessary. Today I chose to give up also because I wanted. I am no longer able to watch your matches, but there are still many people to cheer on you. It is time to let go of the love between us, although I don’t want to imagine someone else becoming your significant other at all. Don’t immerse yourself in the gloom when there can always be sunshine in your life. Goodbye, my dear Wakatsu-san.”

It was Kiryuu’s first time to learn to make dumplings. He wasn’t sure about how much filling to put in each dumpling so it tended to stick out of the flour wrappers. However, he managed to seal the filling in the wrappers. He made some with oyster inside and others with minced fish inside, fewer than those made by Usuri. Comfortable warmth and pleasant smell permeated where he resided, which harked back to the days with Usuri. Wisps of mist rising from the bowl before him added to the moistness in his eyes. He sat down at table and sent a dumpling into his mouth, feeling the nice taste entangling with the salty bitterness of tears trickling to his mouth, which quickly defeated the latter and lingered on his tongue. It was too late but Kiryuu didn’t really care about having dinner so late this time. He wished he could invite Usuri to eat dumplings with minced fish inside made by him. Brisk sounds of snow knocking on the windows gradually became more hurried, and winds were whistling faster outside.