An Eye-Opener
I'm an 18 year old girl who has minimal experience with relationships. My few relationships consisted of toxicity and being one sided. Yesterday my long-distance ex who I'll call G, blocked my number, blocked me on all social media, and told me flat out that they never wanted to see me again. From the beginning, the relationship had been toxic and I ignored the signs because I wanted to show G I was dedicated and loved them for them. The good and bad parts. I let myself be called hurtful words. I let myself be gaslighted. I let myself be screamed at. I let myself actually BEG to be loved by my partner. The list of disrespect to myself goes on. Anyway, this isn't what I'm upset over. I finally had it with being mentally and emotionally thrown around so I woke myself up. I realized if it was meant to be it would be. If they really loved me they would empathize with the fact that I'd be torn into pieces by them continously threatening to leave me alone with my thoughts. If my heart was theirs they wouldn't have threatened to throw it away so many times. I had it and I blocked them back on everything. I know that I deserve better. Today they saw, and unblocked me on a chatting app then went ballistic on me. They told me they hated me, they never loved me, and that it was all my fault. I know by their actions that they didnt truly love me but it hurts and I'm holding back tears typing all of this. I gave a lot of myself to this person only to have it stomped on.
@ToastySheep
I know it hurts but you've done the right thing. People will treat you how you let them. We must LOVE AND VALUE OURSELVES. You DESERVE better. Unfortunately, there are more people like "G" in this world. Continue to sift through until you find someone worthy of you and your love. RESPECT is non-negotiable. If a person doesn't respect you, they will never love you.
Also, I've been told that a good indicator of how a man will treat you is evident in the way the man treats his mother / sisters (or close female relatives). If he is disrespectful to them, chances are that he'll be disrespectful to you. NOT SURE PROOF but a pretty good sign.
@affectionateChestnut7351
Hi, thank you so much for your kind and honest words. I've been trying to come to terms with the truth about how respect is an essential part of love. After our fights G told me they were sorry and that I was the love of their life. Looking back I see that they were all just words to sway me back into a false sense of security and being an emotional punching bag. It's one thing to say something but it's more important to actually act it out.
G has tried to contact me back on numerous chatting platforms. At first I was appalled and wondering, "why the heck would someone who shouted I hate you and I never loved you want to talk to me again?" Thoughts wandered in my head such as, "maybe they changed their ways from this." "Maybe they still love me." I had to smack some sense into myself that they only wanted to start the cycle again. They didn't want to lose their emotional punching bag. If they loved me they'd give me respect and they wouldn't threaten to leave me so many times. My heart wants me reach out and forgive her. My mind tells me to stay strong and don't look back. I'm choosing to follow my mind as hard as it is. I don't wish bad on them and I hope they heal quickly. I just hope they find self love and fully understand that they can't manipulate people's emotions and expect them to stay. It's not healthy for either person in the relationship.
@ToastySheep
You are most welcome. These are life lessons that I still remind myself of so in helping you I also help myself. Thanks for listening. I wish you all the best.
@ToastySheep they sound toxic i would hate being in that type of relationship did you ever get to meet up with them ? i had a online bf in 2019 but it lasted only 3 months.
@sallyanne1994568
Ironically we were making plans to meet the day they blocked me on everything. Just goes to show, never ignore the red flags. Online relationships are definitely tricky. Both people have to be dedicated in making things work.
@ToastySheep that just show's how manipulative people are on dating sites i was talking to someone for 3 weeks and he ended up guilt tripping me it was pretty shocking since i am on the autism spectrum my threapist in a sense saved me because that could have been bad if i met up with the fealla i mean could you imagine what could have happend if she didn't point out the red flags.
@sallyanne1994568
I'm so sorry, I'm glad you didn't meet up with them too. You did good by listening to your therapist and yourself about his toxicity. Honestly it doesn't matter if it's online or in person. Be careful of who you open up to regardless of what the relationship is. Vulnerability is a weapon and your manipulators will use that against you at any chance they can. I had to learn that the hard way and I still am. 
@ToastySheep yeah it sucks that this happend but i am glad its over they seem nice at first but thats not always the case they just like to guilt trip its not healthy but it was fizzling out anyways i wasn't keen on long distance honestly so i am better off.
@sallyanne1994568
Absolutely! I hope you're doing better nowadays and surrounding yourself in supportive and understanding people. :)
@ToastySheep Yes i am trying too and avoiding toxic people
@ToastySheep
i understand how it feels to love someone and get painful words in return. to have to beg someone to love you as much as you love them. I am gong through the sae myself and am currently working on loving myself more. Am learning to show myself tat I deserve better. I hope that you keep on loving yourself. Hugs girl, you will be fine
@ToastySheep It's not about you. Some people can't handle it when someone has feelings for them that aren't returned. It makes them feel trapped and pressured, even though you're not doing that at all. They lash out and try to hurt you magnificently in order to feel "free" again. There's nothing wrong with you for loving someone who didn't feel that way. Recognize it's about them, not you. Go look for somebody who will appreciate all that you are -- I promise they're out there.
@ToastySheep He's just an emotionally immature coward.