Anyone believe in midlife crisis?
My wife turned 40 and left me after 8 years. I know a lot of people do not believe in it but I can be 99% sure she is dealing with some kind of midlife crisis. Anyone else have a similar situation? We had a great partnership and had children and then on her 39 birthday she started freaking out about her age and looks. She got depressed and started acting like a 21 year old.
@Beacon82
Hey there, well something must had happen for her to leave. Sometimes a partner will say things that the other partner might overlook it or not take it as seriously. Some example would be "You don't listen to me", "We have not been going out on dates at all", "You are always busy, and never have time for me", "You don't care about me". It's very easy to overlook those kind of messages, she probably did say subtle things here and there that was probably hard to decipher. There's also instances where she backs away, not as responsive like before, things like that are signs that can be hard to fully notice when one is caught up in life and work. it's really hard to tell with the information you provided, but I want you to really think of those moments where she said certain things that you might have overlook,
@freshLight64 When she left she said she loves me more than anything but she has to fix herself. Really our relationship was very loving and we had a lot of fun. She said a lot before she left that she was a bad person and I deserve better. There was a lot of depression and feelings of not being worthy. We had numerous discussions about her rough childhood and how that has affected her adulthood. So no I didn't think I missed any subtle messages. She still to this days communicates her love for me. I think she just has a lot to work through.
@Beacon82
Could you PM me so we can talk about this?
@Beacon82 I think I understand some of what your wife's going through. I seem to be in an almost constant state of midlife crisis over the last few years. I left my marriage of 15 years back in 2010, fell in love and had a very stormy relationship that ended last October, then had a lot of casual relationships ... I can't seem to settle and don't know whether I can be in a relationship any more, even when there is someone lovely and supportive that I can choose to be with. I have a history of depression ... my parents had a very difficult marriage ... my mother has suffered with depression on and off most of her adult life ... I'm on anti-depressants and I drink too much.
Apart from that I'm fine!!
I don't expect this helps you at all, I'm sorry - I just recognised something in your story that mirrors my own experience. What is different, is that your wife continues to talk to you and communicate her love for you - I had nothing left to offer my ex-husband after I left the marriage and we only communicate to look after our children. So in that way your situation is better ... and more hopeful. Maybe she just needs time to find herself and work things out ... I wish you all the best, anyway.