Baby daddy breakup
I'm not sure where exactly to start, but a little back story:
I've been with the father of my child (3 year old) for 5 years, would have been 6 in April. Recently I met someone who changed my world. I felt alive again, I felt like I'd met my soul mate, all kinds of things. I never intended to fall for somebody else, because I had been trying to be content and happy with my child's father (whom was not always around or able to support us). But it happened. I tried to talk to BD about it, to see what could be done.
We discussed polyamory, and BD seemed to be ok with it, but only with stipulations. I reluctantly agreed, because I want the father of my child in her life, but I felt I wanted to see if anything would stem from this new person. Well, there was a little episode where new guy said something that hurt my feelings some, and BD took it as a chance to "walk away from" the whole thing, and just be with him.
Long story short, I've been dealing with BD being manipulative, damaging, toxic, emotionally abusive and using emotional blackmail ("oh you did this, and I STILL stayed with you, you don't know what you're losing, what if NG puts his hands on you or our daughter, I'm a nice guy but other people aren t, I'm not going to be your knight in shining armor If things don't work out for you" to name a few) to try and get me to change.
My friends noted to me on several occasions that I didn't seem happy or that he was being a dick.
TBC....
So, tonight I had finally had enough, and I asked BD to leave for a couple of days, so that I can have some space to both breathe and think without him hovering, or staring at me, or making me feel uncomfortable. And of course, he did not take that to kindly, and started to say things that were very hurtful and rude. He left, although begrudgingly, but not before telling our daughter that "daddy has to go because mommy didn't give him a choice" and "mommy is telling me to go" and telling me "if you loved me, you wouldn't be taking our daughter from me" even though I've done no such thing. He also proceeded to attack me, saying I never gave him a fair chance, I've been pushing him away, I never stood by him..... Lots of hurtful things as I said.
But now, even after a shower and some stress relief tea, I'm feeling guilty, like I've betrayed him. I haven't been without him for 5 years. He is not a bad man, by any means, but I think he is not capable of handling his emotions. I'm really.... torn. I deserve to take care of myself so I can better take care of my daughter, but he got under my skin and I feel like I'm making a wrong decision by telling him to leave. Urgh.... any feedback would be so much appreciated.
